# Attn losers: Go to Asia and get laid! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 17, 2009, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-losers-go-to-asia-and-get-laid/510504 "2009-09-17T21:31:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Justin\_Bailey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/justin_bailey/32/8792_2.png) [@Justin\_Bailey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Justin_Bailey)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2009, 8:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-losers-go-to-asia-and-get-laid/510504/61 "2009-09-18T08:59:42Z")
> [@Rigamarole](#): > > I’m half Italian too, and I’d agree that I am very, very white. I’m full Italian (my dad was actually born in Italy) and I’ve never thought of myself as anything but white. ---
**Author:** ![leander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/bcef8e/32.png) [@leander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leander)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2009, 9:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-losers-go-to-asia-and-get-laid/510504/62 "2009-09-18T09:50:41Z")
> [@Isamu](#): > > Word to the wise. > > If you’re considering moving to Asia (well, Japan at least) for the strict purpose of getting laid, think twice. There may have been a time (known as the yellow taxi era) when picking up a quality girl for a casual fling was pretty easy, but that time has passed. > > Also, if you have any specially attractive qualities (good job, cultured accent, witty, etc) in your own culture that mean you get laid at least occasionally in your home country, again, think twice about moving to Japan to get laid. Those little attractive qualities are culturally invisible to 99.9% of Japanese - you are just a gaijin. > > On the other hand, if you are particularly attractive, then you won’t have any trouble picking up, but then neither would you back home either. You’re clearly a local - I am quite interested in hearing more. Like others in this thread, I have heard that Japanese girls (esp in the Ropongi district) are quite keen on sleeping with a gaijin. In fact, I’ve had a Japanese fellow tell me that they are interested in having sex with westerners because of the size of Japanese men’s dongs. Seriously (yes, I was very surprised to hear that from a Japanese man!) So what’s the deal? Any Japanese women around to comment? ---
**Author:** ![Argent\_Towers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e8c25b/32.png) [@Argent\_Towers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Argent_Towers)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2009, 10:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-losers-go-to-asia-and-get-laid/510504/63 "2009-09-18T10:33:37Z")
Honestly what I don’t understand is why Asian men seem to have little success with American women. Are they considered too “feminine” or something? I have a hard time accepting this, given that we have Asian cultural icons like Bruce Lee, who’s basically the most badass fighter in the past 100 years - would anyone consider Bruce Lee to be feminine? I don’t think most Asian men look feminine. A lot of the Korean guys around here, exchange students (actually from Korea) are quite tall and well-built. These guys have slick clothes, expensive cars, crazy-fast motorycles; by all rights, they should have women all over them. But I only see those guys with Korean girls, never American. (Not even Asian-American girls.) My own (Asian) girlfriend tells me that dating another Asian would be “like dating her brother.” But she’s more or less Americanized. What is the deal here? ---
**Author:** ![leander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/bcef8e/32.png) [@leander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leander)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2009, 10:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-losers-go-to-asia-and-get-laid/510504/64 "2009-09-18T10:37:41Z")
> [@Argent\_Towers](#): > > My own (Asian) girlfriend tells me that dating another Asian would be “like dating her brother.” Can you ask her to elaborate? ---
**Author:** ![Argent\_Towers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e8c25b/32.png) [@Argent\_Towers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Argent_Towers)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2009, 10:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-losers-go-to-asia-and-get-laid/510504/65 "2009-09-18T10:49:12Z")
There’s nothing more to elaborate. “They remind me too much of my own family,” is what she says. ---
**Author:** ![FriarTed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/friarted/32/1052_2.png) [@FriarTed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FriarTed)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2009, 10:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-losers-go-to-asia-and-get-laid/510504/66 "2009-09-18T10:53:49Z")
> [@DiosaBellissima](#): > > LOL. K. Apologize as sincerely sounding as possible, then say my photo horrifies you. Again, I am sorry for an offense caused by you having to see my horrific visage, but I just was trying to show why people don’t usually classify me as “white”… Let me just humbly say that most men, myself definitely included, would give thanks to be subject to such horrors on a daily basis. Wow! Ah yes, the poet in my soul is so eloquent! Sometimes, Wow! just says it all. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2009, 1:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-losers-go-to-asia-and-get-laid/510504/67 "2009-09-18T13:16:03Z")
> [@Martini\_Enfield](#): > > All the people I know who have been to Asia to teach English have been doing it through reputable organisations and they all gained a lot of knowledge and cultural awareness from their time there, as well as enjoying themselves. None of them mentioned **hordes** of Asian women coming onto them or anything like that. Thats why I went to Mongolia to teach English. I still can’t walk right. ---
**Author:** ![Jodi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7feea3/32.png) [@Jodi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jodi)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2009, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-losers-go-to-asia-and-get-laid/510504/68 "2009-09-18T14:49:11Z")
> [@ivn1188](#): > > Be realistic. How would we find a bunch of basement-dwelling losers fascinated by the exotic charms of subservient girls who don’t speak English on the SDMB? I won’t say I LOL’d but I did SLAL (snort laugh a little). ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2009, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-losers-go-to-asia-and-get-laid/510504/69 "2009-09-18T14:57:41Z")
> [@ivn1188](#): > > Be realistic. How would we find a bunch of basement-dwelling losers fascinated by the exotic charms of subservient girls who don’t speak English on the SDMB? Can’t you smell your own? 😕 ---
**Author:** ![wmfellows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c2a13f/32.png) [@wmfellows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wmfellows)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2009, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-losers-go-to-asia-and-get-laid/510504/70 "2009-09-18T15:06:37Z")
> [@DiosaBellissima](#): > > Oh, that’s fair. Normally, I’d agree, but I [don’t look very. . .white.](http://photos-e.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc1/hs265.snc1/9223_508248350465_139400322_30285988_6181051_n.jpg) Most people can tell I’m something else … You look bloody well white to me. > [@](#): > > When I say I’m white, everyone screeches at me, “No you’re not! You’re half Italian!” Then when I say I’m half white and half Italian, people tell me Italian is white. I can’t win, lemme tell ya. 😛 Whoever is saying Italian is not white … is living in some bizarre late 19c nordic racist alternative reality. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2009, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-losers-go-to-asia-and-get-laid/510504/71 "2009-09-18T15:26:35Z")
> [@Argent\_Towers](#): > > Honestly what I don’t understand is why Asian men seem to have little success with American women. Are they considered too “feminine” or something? > > (snip) > > My own (Asian) girlfriend tells me that dating another Asian would be “like dating her brother.” Wouldn’t it be more like dating her sister? ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2009, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-losers-go-to-asia-and-get-laid/510504/72 "2009-09-18T15:41:37Z")
> [@VarlosZ](#): > > Boy, **Michael Ellis** is just one big bag of angry today. Come on. A little mean, but funny! And if anyone cares, she looks white to me. But it seems to me that some people think of white as blonde haired with blue eyes. I don’t. ---
**Author:** ![Jodi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7feea3/32.png) [@Jodi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jodi)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2009, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-losers-go-to-asia-and-get-laid/510504/73 "2009-09-18T15:47:38Z")
> [@DiosaBellissima](#): > > But all this mocking of me has taken from the point: exotic, when not orange and at a MySpace angle, can be attractive and alluring. Why? Bc it’s different. SO, white guy in Japan is going to get talked to more than he would in the US because he stands out. It’s not that he’s a stud, it’s not that the women are desperate, it’s just that he’s unique in that one little situation. First of all, you look very attractive in your picture. Second of all, if “everyone” says you’re not white because you’re half-Italian, you should hang out with smarter people. You’d be whte (Mediterranean) if you were 100% Italian. Third of all – doesn’t your comment above give Asian women very little credit? People gravitate to other people they find attractive – not just “different” or “exotic” or “unique.” It seems to me to be extremely simplistic to say generic “white guy” is going to be luckier in Asia than he is in the US, just because he’s “exotic” and without knowing anything else about it, like whether he’s remotely attractive. Unique does not necessarily mean more attractive; sometimes it means less attractive. On what basis do you assume Asian women are drawn to the exotic just because it is exotic? ---
**Author:** ![Dogzilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@Dogzilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dogzilla)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2009, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-losers-go-to-asia-and-get-laid/510504/74 "2009-09-18T15:51:38Z")
> [@Argent\_Towers](#): > > Honestly what I don’t understand is why Asian men seem to have little success with American women. Are they considered too “feminine” or something? I have a hard time accepting this, given that we have Asian cultural icons like Bruce Lee, who’s basically the most badass fighter in the past 100 years - would anyone consider Bruce Lee to be feminine? > \ > > What is the deal here? I only have one data point here, but, um. Well. I dated a guy who was half Japanese-half American. I thought for sure that the stereotype about small penises would be bullshit. Not so much in that particular case. I don’t know if there are any Asian men who are hung like stallions, but the pervasive stereotype that they all have small penises is probably not helping their cause much. How much truth there is to the tiny penis reputation, I couldn’t say, because I only dated the one fella. In general, I find Asian men hot (I like anything darker complected than me, which is not hard to do considering my heritage is Scottish and German) but they rarely seem interested in _me_. Perhaps they prefer the subservient females if they were raised in a culture where women are socialized to not be as mouthy and uppity as I am? ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2009, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-losers-go-to-asia-and-get-laid/510504/75 "2009-09-18T15:55:08Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > …probably reflects a quiet desperation to snag an American husband and move to the States. Thats a bingo! (Is that the thing you say? “That’s a bingo?”) ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Fight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/90ced4/32.png) [@Cat\_Fight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Fight)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2009, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-losers-go-to-asia-and-get-laid/510504/76 "2009-09-18T16:01:25Z")
> [@Argent\_Towers](#): > > Honestly what I don’t understand is why Asian men seem to have little success with American women. Are they considered too “feminine” or something? I have a hard time accepting this, given that we have Asian cultural icons like Bruce Lee, who’s basically the most badass fighter in the past 100 years - would anyone consider Bruce Lee to be feminine? Maybe that’s it. You had to think back to Bruce Lee for an example of a hot Asian guys. In part, I’m going to blame the media (_Lost_ aside) for a lack of hot Asian guys. There’s a lack of Asian women, hot or not, too, but they definitely get cast occasionally when all a director needs is a stripper, arm candy, music video dancer, etc. I have several Asian male friends and most are also quite short. They clean up, but then they are feminist, funny, artistic and dress like nobody’s business. But I will admit, as have they, that their more conservative friends and family are intimidated by some brasher Western women and get more pressures than their sisters to date within their race (my Chinese friend says that, at least for him, it’s because traditionally his sister would take care of her husband’s parents into old age). The gay Asian (aka gaysian) guys seem to get the same stuff as Asian women – rice queens, people assuming they’re always a bottom, stupid racist jokes. ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2009, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-losers-go-to-asia-and-get-laid/510504/77 "2009-09-18T16:12:47Z")
> [@Jodi](#): > > On what basis do you assume Asian women are drawn to the exotic just because it is exotic? Because, in my certainly limited experience, it seems that’s how most folks operate. I don’t even know if it’s an attraction to whatever race thing, but rather , that guy just sticks out in a crowd. If he gets more looks than the average guy, just by proxy of being different, there’s probably going to be more girls interested in him. Sorry, drinking my coffee still. How do I explain? Ok, if I only meet 5 men in a week, the odds of me being asked out are pretty low- not because I’m hideous or a conversation with me is like an abortion or anything, just because that’s only a few guys and hey, maybe they aren’t into me. If I meet 100 guys in a week, the odds of me being asked out go up a bunch. Why? Because I was exposed to more people. Same thing with white guy in Asia or any other person that sticks out- they get more looks, are exposed to more people, and so more people have the chance to realize and act on an attraction. What I’m not saying is that all Asian women are going to fall all over themselves for a white guy. It’s just a matter of him being exposed to more people by standing out in the crowd. ---
**Author:** ![suranyi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e36b37/32.png) [@suranyi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/suranyi)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2009, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-losers-go-to-asia-and-get-laid/510504/78 "2009-09-18T16:14:27Z")
> [@Argent\_Towers](#): > > Honestly what I don’t understand is why Asian men seem to have little success with American women. Are they considered too “feminine” or something? I have a hard time accepting this, given that we have Asian cultural icons like Bruce Lee, who’s basically the most badass fighter in the past 100 years - would anyone consider Bruce Lee to be feminine? > > I don’t think most Asian men look feminine. A lot of the Korean guys around here, exchange students (actually from Korea) are quite tall and well-built. These guys have slick clothes, expensive cars, crazy-fast motorycles; by all rights, they should have women all over them. But I only see those guys with Korean girls, never American. (Not even Asian-American girls.) > > My own (Asian) girlfriend tells me that dating another Asian would be “like dating her brother.” But she’s more or less Americanized. > > What is the deal here? Actually, I know quite a few Asian men who have married white women. My wife’s brother, for example. It’s getting more and more common. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2009, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-losers-go-to-asia-and-get-laid/510504/79 "2009-09-18T16:26:31Z")
> [@Dogzilla](#): > > I only have one data point here, but, um. Well. I dated a guy who was half Japanese-half American. In what sense was he “half-American”? ---
**Author:** ![Caffeine.addict](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f475e1/32.png) [@Caffeine.addict](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Caffeine.addict)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2009, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-losers-go-to-asia-and-get-laid/510504/80 "2009-09-18T16:31:43Z")
I grew up with a few Korean male friends and they had strong family pressure to marry someone who was either Korean or ethnic Korean. Growing up in a Latin American family, there was a bit of family pressure on me to marry someone from a similar ethnic and class background. However, people are drawn to the exotic and different. Look at the examples provided by DiosaBellissima, and Really Not All That Bright (RNATB). They did better with the opposite sex because they stood out. Look at all the threads where people talk about how certain accents are a turn on. It seems to me that a percentage of the population is always drawn to the exotic or different. A population that is fairly homogenous and not financially well enough may be enough to explain the trope that American English teachers can do well in Asia with the opposite sex. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-losers-go-to-asia-and-get-laid/510504.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-losers-go-to-asia-and-get-laid/510504.md?page=5)