# Attn losers: Go to Asia and get laid! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 17, 2009, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-losers-go-to-asia-and-get-laid/510504 "2009-09-17T21:31:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 9
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2009, 11:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-losers-go-to-asia-and-get-laid/510504/161 "2009-09-20T11:36:33Z")
> [@even\_sven](#): > > As for dating Chinese men- every Western woman I know who has dated a Chinese man has eventually discovered a Chinese fiancée in the picture. I’ve seen this happen maybe six or seven times. China has different expectations for dating. While I hold out hope that I may find an exception, it’d take A LOT of work to convince me that a man would be following a set of dating expectations that coincide with my own. I have a number of female friends, mostly English, who have dated “Thai boys” as they call them (aged from approx 20-35). With only one exception - that couple is happily married - every. single. one. had at least one other girlfriend, if not a fiancée or wife too. Which led to some interesting showdowns - a friend of mine was chased down the street by a raging, livid woman she’d never seen before, wielding a broom. Turns out the woman was a) my friend’s boyfriend’s wife, and b) 6 months pregnant. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2009, 11:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-losers-go-to-asia-and-get-laid/510504/162 "2009-09-20T11:46:34Z")
> [@jjimm](#): > > at least one other girlfriend, if not a fiancée or wife too. Not to mention a fiance or wife OR TWO. 😃 > [@jjimm](#): > > Which led to some interesting showdowns - a friend of mine was chased down the street by a raging, livid woman she’d never seen before, wielding a broom. Turns out the woman was a) my friend’s boyfriend’s wife, and b) 6 months pregnant. Reminds me of the raging Thai woman I saw in Singburi province, chasing some Thai man while swinging a butcher’s cleaver. He thought it jolly good fun. Would stop, turn around, wave his penis tauntingly at her – yes, really, it was out of his pants – which would enrage her more and speed her up, so he’d run some more, turn around, wave his penis some more, laughing all the while. I’ve often wondered if she ever caught hold of him. ---
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2009, 12:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-losers-go-to-asia-and-get-laid/510504/163 "2009-09-20T12:12:44Z")
My good friend once got in an undies-only wrestling match when a surprise fiancée climbed through the window. I thought that only happened in movies. ---
**Author:** ![Patty\_O\_Furniture](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/96bed5/32.png) [@Patty\_O\_Furniture](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Patty_O_Furniture)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2009, 12:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-losers-go-to-asia-and-get-laid/510504/164 "2009-09-20T12:59:09Z")
> [@zweisamkeit](#): > > There are a _lot_ of places in the US where Italian is “white, but not”. In Detroit, we have a LOT of Italians (and Greeks), and they’re exactly that. Like, the general perception is “technically white, but y’know”. There’s nothing negative about it (“they’re not white enough!”), it’s just that with a darker complexion, dark hair, etc, it _is_ more exotic than the usual Irish/English/French/German “lighter skin, vaguely blondishbrownish hair, and brown or blue eyes”. Agree with this, I do. DiosaBellissima is white in the same way that Halley Berry is black. ---
**Author:** ![Uzi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/91b2a8/32.png) [@Uzi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uzi)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2009, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-losers-go-to-asia-and-get-laid/510504/165 "2009-09-20T13:40:14Z")
> [@even\_sven](#): > > Suddenly swoops in this exotic foreigner. And even more exciting- that foreigner likes them! He shows them the attention they aren’t getting from their equally immature male classmates and their chronically overworked parents. He makes them feel mature by teaching them English cuss words and how to drink beer. He buys them clothes they could never afford and takes them to movies and restaurants. He teaches them about sex. Most of them are virgins or have only had one or two awkward high-school style sexual experiences. Who would have known poor nerds as listed in the OP were so ‘exotic’? The guys who take advantage of women who are signifigantly less mature than them, mislead them into believing it is a relationship among equals with a shared goal, and them leave them high and dry when they get bored are predators, pure and simple. It’s not right. [/QUOTE] These ‘mature’ basement dwelling types as depicted by the OP are significantly more mature? Nerds, at least from my experience (having lived on the fringes when younger) don’t get out much to gain any sort of maturity. They don’t know how to swoop some delicate foreign flower off her feet, nor even if they do read about it on the internet, have the force of will to pull it off. It sounds like some women here don’t like the fact that some men have found a way around the ‘pussy on a pedestal’ culture that pervades the west? ---
**Author:** ![Maeglin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@Maeglin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maeglin)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2009, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-losers-go-to-asia-and-get-laid/510504/166 "2009-09-20T13:49:00Z")
> [@ivn1188](#): > > No it doesn’t. Your knee-jerk simplification of the issue is just another example of the asininity that is near-omnipresent on this board, especially in hangers-upon such as yourself that are invested in being “popular” in the so-called community here. That you have to assume all of this additional crap about me and my motivations is further intellectual failure on your part. Are you going to assume I am a neckbeard next? An unwashed basement-dweller? That I post what I do in order to fuck SDMB fatties? Go on, keep projecting your “cultural assumptions” on me. > [@](#): > > However, since you apparently have a failure in the brain area, let me analyse your frankly idiotic claim. Apparently these 18-25 year old Chinese girls are culturally programmed to be innocent and helpless. If a person lives a highly sheltered childhood, is it such a big conceptual leap for you to understand that he/she may actually turn out to be sheltered as a young adult? Do you have this much distrust for your powers of observation and practical reasoning in other areas of your own life? Do you live in a Pyrrhonian hell? Somehow I doubt it. So go peddle your semi-digested poststructuralism to someone who doesn’t know how to read. You are neither interesting nor intelligent enough to self-appoint as the hammer of orientalism. I can read Said perfectly well on my own, thanks. > [@](#): > > Enter the suave American english teacher (lol) who exposes them to a new world? Bullshit. What it is is **even sven** ’s eurocentric viewpoint assuming that these girls are infantilized by their culture and are unable to cope, _because they get married early and their parents don’t pay attention to them_. Why, good golly, these girls are afraid of crime! These little yellow people are so cute! There is a difference between reading against the grain and simply making shit up. Unlike the great cultural critics of the 20th century, you are self-evidently in the latter category. > [@](#): > > In any case, I’m pretty confident in asserting that the average ESL teacher who travels overseas to teach English classes for a little school credit and some spending money is probably not some sort of awesome pussy hound versed in techniques of erotic seduction so advanced that to apply them to anyone other than a meth head streetwalker would be the moral equivalent of rape. On this we definitely agree. > [@](#): > > (Oh, P.S., she states that the behaviors are identical to your average middle school student. So, who is looking out for these exploited lovesick (presumably American) teenage girls who give it up to the football star? ) If sweet, tender American middle school girls are exploited by 25 year old football stars, they can typically count on the intervention of the law. Kobe Bryant wasn’t a football star, but even someone with your conceptual limitations can probably make the generalization here. But the more important question in this context is whether the 25 year old is morally culpable. We aren’t exporting middle school aged males to China to teach English. ---
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2009, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-losers-go-to-asia-and-get-laid/510504/167 "2009-09-20T17:04:40Z")
> [@Uzi](#): > > It sounds like some women here don’t like the fact that some men have found a way around the ‘pussy on a pedestal’ culture that pervades the west? If you mean I like to be treated like a capable adult and an equal partner, why yes. Really, it’s not a nice culture for women. The easiest equivalent is 1950’s America, but even that comparison misses a lot. I know it, because I live it. I’m the one who had to dole out gracious thank yous when I (a late-twenties professional given to wearing lots of black) received a giant pink teddy bear and some poodle mittens from my school as a Christmas present. I am the one who bites my lip when my male students tell me “Well, I don’t want to be a teacher because as a man I expect so much more out of life.” I’m the one who walks slowly because my friends can only walk in hobbled steps on their feet deformed from some many years shoved in cheap heels. I’m the one who corrects my students’ English on job applications that include sections for height, skin tone and bust size. I’m the one who smiles and greets my colleague’s wives one day and mistresses the next. I’m the one who received ZERO students saying they were interested in joining a women’s group. I’m the one that gets told it’s better if I don’t go out to buy noodles alone in the middle of the day. I’m the one who speaks decent Chinese, but inevitably is ignored when I am out with monoglot foreign men and trying to order at restaurants or direct taxis- they just look all confused at the mute guy while I talk. I live this shit every day. And I’ve seen worse, that I’m not even going to talk about. _I’m being infantalized, too_. That’s how I know it happens. This shit happens to me and sometimes I think I’m the only one who sees what’s wrong. I don’t feel a bit bad looking down on men who prefer it this way. Sorry. I cannot wait until things change and my female students get the same sense of opportunity, self-worth, confidence and freedom that I got growing up. I hope they stop “swallowing the bitter melon” and start going after sometimes they want. If that’s cultural imperialism, then so be it. I’m all for how my culture treats women. And when that happens I hope guys holding these attitudes get the worst case of blue balls ever, lasting at least until the start looking at women as full-on human beings. It’s slow going and frankly I haven’t been able to do a thing. It was easier in conservative Muslim women-in-a-veil-and-can’t-go-outside Africa. But maybe some of my students are looking at me living my dreams and getting inspired. That’s why I’m staying here. That’s the biggest reason why I don’t just bail and go somewhere where I’m 100% adult human. ---
**Author:** ![Belowjob2.0](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Belowjob2.0](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Belowjob2.0)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2009, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-losers-go-to-asia-and-get-laid/510504/168 "2009-09-20T17:29:52Z")
> [@Asimovian](#): > > The only thing I’ve learned from this thread is that as an American black male, I shouldn’t bother trying to move to Asia because I’m not on the top of the list. > > I would have learned more, but I already knew that **Diosa** was half-orange, and I’m not ashamed to admit that I find that alluring. You shouldn’t be moving anywhere for the dating opportunities. You should move somewhere for learning and job opportunities, to learn something about the world and to grow as a person. Meeting chicks is just the icing on the cake. That said, this guy looks like he did pretty well. YMMV. [http://s4.photobucket.com/albums/y105/LordAzrael/wedding/](http://s4.photobucket.com/albums/y105/LordAzrael/wedding/) [http://www.gaijinsmash.net/index.phtml](http://www.gaijinsmash.net/index.phtml) ---
**Author:** ![Belowjob2.0](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Belowjob2.0](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Belowjob2.0)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2009, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-losers-go-to-asia-and-get-laid/510504/169 "2009-09-20T18:45:12Z")
Tangentially related to the topic. Getting over “yellow fever” and dating for the right reasons as opposed to fetishistic ones. [http://www.gaijinsmash.net/archives/a\_lovehate\_thin.phtml](http://www.gaijinsmash.net/archives/a_lovehate_thin.phtml) ---
**Author:** ![Patty\_O\_Furniture](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/96bed5/32.png) [@Patty\_O\_Furniture](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Patty_O_Furniture)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2009, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-losers-go-to-asia-and-get-laid/510504/170 "2009-09-20T18:48:58Z")
What are the right reasons? ---
**Author:** ![Belowjob2.0](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Belowjob2.0](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Belowjob2.0)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2009, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-losers-go-to-asia-and-get-laid/510504/171 "2009-09-20T19:08:49Z")
> [@Patty\_O\_Furniture](#): > > What are the right reasons? I don’t actually know. I just used the term “right” as a short hand for non-fetishistic reasons. > [@](#): > > her laugh actually made me smile too, instead of wanting to massacre kittens. During my time dating her, I found her to be a wonderful young woman who I knew I could rely on - she just happened to be Japanese. What’s quoted above seems about right to me, but maybe he just got tired of playing the field. ---
**Author:** ![Asimovian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asimovian/32/172_2.png) [@Asimovian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asimovian)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2009, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-losers-go-to-asia-and-get-laid/510504/172 "2009-09-20T19:14:43Z")
> [@Belowjob2.0](#): > > That said, this guy looks like he did pretty well. YMMV. Judging by [this photo](http://s4.photobucket.com/albums/y105/LordAzrael/wedding/?action=view¤t=01660008.jpg), I’d say it was purely initimidation on his part. ---
**Author:** ![Uzi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/91b2a8/32.png) [@Uzi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uzi)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2009, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-losers-go-to-asia-and-get-laid/510504/173 "2009-09-20T19:24:19Z")
> [@even\_sven](#): > > If you mean I like to be treated like a capable adult and an equal partner, why yes. I’m not talking about that. I’m talking about women acting like they aren’t as interested in sex as men are and using that as a ‘lever’ to get what they want. And men who having little experience in sex thinking that sex equals love and making decisions based upon that rather than what is best for both partners and especially themselves. I’m addressing the OP’s proposition that equates men who go to Asia as nothing more than basement dwelling nerds who can’t get laid in North America and extrapolating it by saying they wouldn’t have to go to Asia to get laid if women in North America didn’t use sex as something other than sex. Maybe at that point people wouldn’t make rash decisions by getting married to the wrong person, etc. ---
**Author:** ![Belowjob2.0](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Belowjob2.0](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Belowjob2.0)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2009, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-losers-go-to-asia-and-get-laid/510504/174 "2009-09-20T19:25:34Z")
> [@Asimovian](#): > > Judging by [this photo](http://s4.photobucket.com/albums/y105/LordAzrael/wedding/?action=view¤t=01660008.jpg), I’d say it was purely initimidation on his part. Ah, but look closely at the photo. One person’s intimidated there, and it ain’t the lady. You’re not familiar with Japanese women. They’re tough as nails. The giggling, submissive thing is an act. She broke him, not the other way around. Dude has no idea what hit him. He’ll figure it out in a few years. By then he’ll be ass deep in rugrats and mortgage payments. He had too much free time anyway, and how much WOW can you play without melding with your couch? ---
**Author:** ![ivn1188](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e480ec/32.png) [@ivn1188](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivn1188)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2009, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-losers-go-to-asia-and-get-laid/510504/175 "2009-09-20T19:59:20Z")
> [@Maeglin](#): > > That you have to assume all of this additional crap about me and my motivations is further intellectual failure on your part. Are you going to assume I am a neckbeard next? An unwashed basement-dweller? That I post what I do in order to fuck SDMB fatties? Go on, keep projecting your “cultural assumptions” on me. That’s not an “assumption”. That’s a “search for all posts by author”. ---
**Author:** ![Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b38774/32.png) [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Attack_from_the_3rd_dimension)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2009, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-losers-go-to-asia-and-get-laid/510504/176 "2009-09-20T20:00:54Z")
> [@ivn1188](#): > > That’s not an “assumption”. That’s a “search for all posts by author”. Fight ! Fight ! Fight ! Fight ! ---
**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2009, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-losers-go-to-asia-and-get-laid/510504/177 "2009-09-20T21:03:58Z")
> [@Belowjob2.0](#): > > Ah, but look closely at the photo. One person’s intimidated there, and it ain’t the lady. > > You’re not familiar with Japanese women. They’re tough as nails. Ain’t that the truth. Where I worked in Osaka all the married teachers got to laugh at all the kids straight out of college who got off the plane expecting to find themselves a doting, docile, domestic little sexpet: those guys got their balls brken in short order. ---
**Author:** ![Pushkin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ee59a6/32.png) [@Pushkin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pushkin)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2009, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-losers-go-to-asia-and-get-laid/510504/178 "2009-09-20T23:07:17Z")
> [@Michael\_Ellis](#): > > You have to be terminally unobservant to miss how a lot of these “teach English in Asia” deals tend to be advertised to greasy losers desperate to score with those hot subservient Asian girls they heard about from the local Linux club. I had a pal went to Japan to teach English after breaking up with his (white/Caucasian) ex, he’s returning with a girl from London (white/Caucasian) on his arm. The only “hot subservient Asian girl” he had his way with lived in Belfast 😛 ---
**Author:** ![MOIDALIZE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@MOIDALIZE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MOIDALIZE)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2009, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-losers-go-to-asia-and-get-laid/510504/179 "2009-09-20T23:26:53Z")
hahahaha I’m gonna introduce all the ladiez in the prefecture to teh b0nerz LOL ---
**Author:** ![Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b38774/32.png) [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Attack_from_the_3rd_dimension)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2009, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-losers-go-to-asia-and-get-laid/510504/180 "2009-09-21T01:25:56Z")
> [@MOIDALIZE](#): > > hahahaha I’m gonna introduce all the ladiez in the prefecture to teh b0nerz LOL … [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-losers-go-to-asia-and-get-laid/510504.md?page=8) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-losers-go-to-asia-and-get-laid/510504.md?page=10)