# August August minirants! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 1, 2012, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/august-august-minirants/630068 "2012-08-01T16:21:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 19
**Author:** ![cwthree](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9de0a6/32.png) [@cwthree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cwthree)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2012, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/august-august-minirants/630068/361 "2012-08-20T20:56:04Z")
> [@bouv](#): > > Wait…your state doesn’t even have a helmet law for _kids?!_ That’s fucked up. Nope, no helmet laws here _at all_. Residents are free to scramble their brains at any age, while riding (or being ejected from) their choice of motorized or non-motorized cycle. ---
**Author:** ![teela\_brown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d9b06d/32.png) [@teela\_brown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/teela_brown)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2012, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/august-august-minirants/630068/362 "2012-08-20T20:56:41Z")
> [@flatlined](#): > > Back in the day, I was living in Hawaii. One night, I got up to get a drink of water, put my robe one and went to the kitchen. Something started scratching my boob and I looked into my robe to see a BIG FUCKING ROACH holding onto the inside of my robe and reaching those disgusting legs out to touch me. > > Being the mature and self relient woman that I am, I droped my robe on the floor and started screaming my head off while I was running into other rooms. I kept running into the kitchen to stomp on my robe and that disgusting thing just weezed and got back up. > > One of the neighbors came running over with a piece of pipe, knocked on the door and when I opened the door while screaming THERE, THERE, SAVE ME!!! said neighbor ran into my kitchen and the evil roach started flying around and chased him out the door. > > Police and neighbor’s wife showed up, me naked and screaming and neighbor swinging his pipe around. That was not a very fun night. At least it wasn’t one of [these](http://www.mokihana.com/big%20centipede.jpg). ---
**Author:** ![The\_Vorlon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d07c76/32.png) [@The\_Vorlon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Vorlon)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2012, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/august-august-minirants/630068/363 "2012-08-20T22:07:59Z")
> [@teela\_brown](#): > > At least it wasn’t one of [these](http://www.mokihana.com/big%20centipede.jpg). I am NOT clicking that link. no WAY NO HOW ---
**Author:** ![The\_Vorlon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d07c76/32.png) [@The\_Vorlon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Vorlon)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2012, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/august-august-minirants/630068/364 "2012-08-20T22:27:48Z")
Todays first world problem: Went to the MD Friday, and as is his wont, visited the vampires in the lab. Now the inside of my right elbow is ALL colors of the rainbow. Lovely. Next will come the lecture about needing to have a A1C in single didgets… ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2012, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/august-august-minirants/630068/365 "2012-08-20T23:28:14Z")
> [@Ludovic](#): > > The lingering scent of the fungal cream prescribed by my doctor, combined with the daily sunscreen I just started using, produces old man smell. > [@iftheresaway](#): > > I feel like this is the start to a Great American Novel that I’m not sure I want to read. Actually, it would be a pretty good Bulwer-Lytton entry… ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2012, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/august-august-minirants/630068/366 "2012-08-20T23:58:42Z")
> [@The\_Vorlon](#): > > Next will come the lecture about needing to have a A1C in single didgets… Well, yeah… ---
**Author:** ![Tess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e480ec/32.png) [@Tess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tess)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2012, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/august-august-minirants/630068/367 "2012-08-21T01:54:44Z")
Since you have no intention of following through on anything you tell me you’ll do, how about you just quit telling me? I’m not nagging you, so you’re not just saying shit to get me to shut up. You have to realize by now I don’t believe you, so you’re not getting some cheap thrill by fooling me. You are managing to irritate the hell out of me, since you’re letting me know just how little you care about following through on anything. Seriously, you’re ensuring I never again make any effort to help you since I know you’ll never keep your end of any bargain. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2012, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/august-august-minirants/630068/368 "2012-08-21T02:03:09Z")
> [@The\_Vorlon](#): > > I am NOT clicking that link. > no WAY > NO HOW Same here. Especially since a story (Stephen R. Donaldson’s “The Conqueror Worm”, I believe) about that (and worse) was what led to my goddamned centipede phobia in the first place. ---
**Author:** ![LavenderBlue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e95f7d/32.png) [@LavenderBlue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LavenderBlue)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2012, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/august-august-minirants/630068/369 "2012-08-21T02:07:19Z")
Citibank, please stop calling my house, stuffing my mailbox and sending me packages. I told you fuckers five times in three months that I am not fucking interested in refinancing my mortgage. Annoying the hell out of a customer is not the way to cultivate a business relationship. On another note there are no more cherries on the local shelves anymore. By-by summer. You can only come back if you promise not to bring the 100 degree days with you ever again. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2012, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/august-august-minirants/630068/370 "2012-08-21T02:30:42Z")
I have been getting 2-4 Barclay’s credit card offers **per week** for five solid months now. I mean, seriously? You’re not getting the clue that I’m not interested in your card? Your marketting people are that completely fucked in the head that they think bombing someone with offers at that frequency is a good plan??? Barclays: I wish bankruptcy and take-over on your ass. Oblivion as your company ceases to exist and it’s pieces are taken over by another bank. And never ending unemployment and unhappiness to the marketing database idiots who are running this program. May they never get another job that pays even half as much as they’re making now. ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2012, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/august-august-minirants/630068/371 "2012-08-21T04:05:23Z")
> [@Chanteuse](#): > > Update: We got it all worked out! She will have to take her required history class online in the school library, but that made it possible to change her other classes around so that she can attend the trade school AND be in choir! Yay for us! 🙂 Yay! We had to jump through SO many hoops to do that. I teach at a polytechnic college, and my kid got to come with me two mornings a week and take a film-making class. It was the only way he could finish high school early, and he loved the class. But it was a nightmare. Long after that semester was over, we were still running forms back and forth to try to get his grades and his credits to count. ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2012, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/august-august-minirants/630068/372 "2012-08-21T18:44:09Z")
> [@teela\_brown](#): > > At least it wasn’t one of [these](http://www.mokihana.com/big%20centipede.jpg). Are those INCH markers?!?!?!?eleventy?!?!eeeeeek!!! ---
**Author:** ![Sicks\_Ate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Sicks\_Ate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sicks_Ate)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2012, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/august-august-minirants/630068/373 "2012-08-21T19:23:47Z")
Well to begin with, the X fucked me over by cleaning out our bank account and extorting money from me until we reached a child support settlement…which still fucked me. So, in the last year, I have been getting by and am to the point of even getting a second job part-time to get caught up. I have been trying to text and e-mail her since this weekend, and got no reply. So today I tried to call, and got a voicemail greeting saying she’d be out of phone and e-mail contact for a week. Bell rings in my head…she mentioned getting a passport a couple months ago. First of all, goddammit, if you’re going to be out of communication for a week, you dumb bitch, don’t you want to let me KNOW? And give me SOME way to contact you if, I donno, there’s an emergency with our son? Second, while I am just getting by, this is the third fucking vacation she has taken in the last year. Makes me really glad that the thousands of dollars I gave her because I was afraid of her are paying off in giving her plenty of fucking spending money. Fuck. ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2012, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/august-august-minirants/630068/374 "2012-08-21T19:50:03Z")
> [@purplehorseshoe](#): > > Are those INCH markers?!?!?!?eleventy?!?!eeeeeek!!! Note to self, Hawaii doesn’t sound that interesting right now … ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2012, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/august-august-minirants/630068/375 "2012-08-21T21:41:11Z")
I am soooooooooo effing hungry. I’ve been trying to cut down my cholesterol/related stuff by not eating out, only having one Mountain Dew a day, and only having meat once a day. I’m not trying to eat less otherwise. But 7 days into it, my body is telling me I’m starving no matter how much cereal and fruits and veggies I stuff in, plus I have a lingering feeling in my sinuses like I need to spit. (That’s most likely related to diet, as the last time I felt like that was when I tried to cut down on caffiene by switching to Caffiene Free Coke (with sugar!) which resulted in my consuming the same amount of Mountain Dew – plus a lot of Coke as well!) ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2012, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/august-august-minirants/630068/376 "2012-08-21T21:54:39Z")
Maybe you need some additional sources of lean protein for your non-meat meals? Nuts, eggs, dairy, that sort of thing … ? ---
**Author:** ![Tess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e480ec/32.png) [@Tess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tess)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2012, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/august-august-minirants/630068/377 "2012-08-21T22:28:05Z")
> [@purplehorseshoe](#): > > Are those INCH markers?!?!?!?eleventy?!?!eeeeeek!!! Part of me says to go ahead an click, because it can’t possibly be as bad as I’m picturing. The louder part of me says in certainly can be. ---
**Author:** ![AlienVessels](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ba8739/32.png) [@AlienVessels](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AlienVessels)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2012, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/august-august-minirants/630068/378 "2012-08-21T22:53:58Z")
> [@Tess](#): > > Part of me says to go ahead an click, because it can’t possibly be as bad as I’m picturing. > > The louder part of me says in certainly can be. Had something very like that crawl up my leg under my jeans when I was a kid mowing a lawn. Felt an itch, trapped what I realized was a centipede against my leg and then instantly went into xtreme hokey-pokey mode. Managed to shake it into the grass and from then on the jeans legs got tucked into the socks when mowing. Scarier though was one of these [http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/7229/1635/1600/10302005%20046.jpg](http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/7229/1635/1600/10302005%20046.jpg) (Japanese house centipede) crawling on the outside of our house. The whole neighborhood turned out because it was the length of an adult’s forearm. I’d pit em but they’d just climb out. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2012, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/august-august-minirants/630068/379 "2012-08-21T23:20:11Z")
Kill those things with FIRE. Two left turn lanes. 1 block after the turn, the road splits, with the left lane turning left and the right lane going straight. Often a bit of a problem after the turn because people figure out they’re in the wrong lane. Not today. Light turns green. Jackass in the first car in the rightmost turn lane decides then and there that he’s in the wrong lane, and simply turns to look over his shoulder attempting to wait for the entire backed up beyond the back of both turn lanes left lane to clear so he can turn into that lane. The light isn’t that long. He goes through the red. The car behind him goes ‘fuck it’ and goes too. I’m the third motherfucking car and I don’t make it through a green light because some jackass had to sit there through the entire fucking green light, looking over his shoulder. ‘Beaten bloody with large sticks’ would be a light punishment for that kind of jackassery. ---
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2012, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/august-august-minirants/630068/380 "2012-08-22T00:29:39Z")
> [@AlienVessels](#): > > Felt an itch, trapped what I realized was a centipede against my leg and then instantly went into xtreme hokey-pokey mode. Don’t really know why but I just spent 30 seconds laughing so hard at that I became bright red and unable to breathe. Thank you! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/august-august-minirants/630068.md?page=18) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/august-august-minirants/630068.md?page=20)