# aural displeasure-the worst all-time songs...

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aural-displeasure-the-worst-all-time-songs/61284>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [April 8, 2001, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aural-displeasure-the-worst-all-time-songs/61284 "2001-04-08T22:26:06Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 2

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**Author:** ![Airman\_Doors\_USAF](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e36b37/32.png) [@Airman\_Doors\_USAF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Airman_Doors_USAF)\
**Post date:** [April 9, 2001, 12:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aural-displeasure-the-worst-all-time-songs/61284/21 "2001-04-09T12:34:29Z")

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I know I’m really asking for it, but I say ANYTHING by the Rolling Stones sucks. Really, truly, in every way sucks.

Satisfaction? Pfffftttttt…  
Sympathy for the Devil? Blllleeccchhhh…

And their newer stuff is beyond the pale. They ripped off k.d. lang, for Christ’s sake!

The Doors(!), the Beatles, Jefferson Airplane, Jimi Hendrix, etc. ad infinitum have them beat 16 ways from Sunday, IMO, and that’s just their contemporaries. Don’t get me started on some of the stuff I grew up with (Soundgarden, REM, old school Metallica, etc.)

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**Author:** ![Evnglion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f04885/32.png) [@Evnglion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evnglion)\
**Post date:** [April 9, 2001, 12:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aural-displeasure-the-worst-all-time-songs/61284/22 "2001-04-09T12:37:57Z")

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I really hate that Bob Dylan song from the movie “Wonder Boys”. It was a bad song to begin with, but then he did that stupid performance “Live, via satallite” and that made it even worse. He is nothing more than a skull with a pencil mustache.

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**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\
**Post date:** [April 9, 2001, 12:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aural-displeasure-the-worst-all-time-songs/61284/23 "2001-04-09T12:43:39Z")

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_Seasons in the Sun_ by Terry something-or-another.

Blech! :: shudder ::

And _The Wreck of the Edmond Fitzgerald_

AGH!! I can’t even begin to say how much I hate, Hate, HATE that one.

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**Author:** ![Tygr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/df788c/32.png) [@Tygr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tygr)\
**Post date:** [April 9, 2001, 12:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aural-displeasure-the-worst-all-time-songs/61284/24 "2001-04-09T12:57:48Z")

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… and that was to ask them to _please **not** _ play Bob Seger’s “Katmandu”.

_I think I’m going to Katmandu.  
I really think that’s where I’m going to._

Ya call those LYRICS?!?

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**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\
**Post date:** [April 9, 2001, 1:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aural-displeasure-the-worst-all-time-songs/61284/25 "2001-04-09T13:06:02Z")

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I once heard Buck Owens of _HeeHaw_ attempt “Bridge Over Troubled Water.”

Now, top that one.

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**Author:** ![vanilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/f19dbf/32.png) [@vanilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vanilla)\
**Post date:** [April 9, 2001, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aural-displeasure-the-worst-all-time-songs/61284/26 "2001-04-09T13:31:36Z")

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I [b/ liked\*\* My Way by Sid!

But, then again, my favorite song is ice Ice Baby.  
I hate Stairway to Heaven. i know its supposed to be the most popular song ever, but it sucks. It truly sucks. led Zeppelin sucks. hooooooooooooo. Hear that? thats them sucking.

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**Author:** ![tiggeril](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tiggeril/32/7234_2.png) [@tiggeril](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiggeril)\
**Post date:** [April 9, 2001, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aural-displeasure-the-worst-all-time-songs/61284/27 "2001-04-09T13:39:24Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Ice Wolf \*  
> \*\*“It’s a Beautiful Day” – by U2 \*\*

HEATHEN!! Begone with ye!

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**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\
**Post date:** [April 9, 2001, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aural-displeasure-the-worst-all-time-songs/61284/28 "2001-04-09T13:54:33Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> _D18 was asking about another version of the Buggles’ “Video Killed the Radio Star”:_  
> Yep. Heard the PUSA version, too. But that’s not the one I was talking about. At the time it went top 40, way back in the decade we sometimes call “the seventies”, there were actually two versions of the song getting airplay at the same time. Can’t think of another time that’s ever happened.

I think you’re thinking of Bruce Wooley and the Camera Club’s version. It was out at the same time as the Buggles’ version.

I’m not sure exactly, but I think Bruce Wooley’s version was intended for the UK while the Buggles’ was intended for North America. (Or vice versa.) Anyway, somehow the two versions ended up being heard in both places.

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**Author:** ![NothingMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b77776/32.png) [@NothingMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NothingMan)\
**Post date:** [April 9, 2001, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aural-displeasure-the-worst-all-time-songs/61284/29 "2001-04-09T14:02:49Z")

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Well I’ll be, a thread almost custom made for moi.

I work in radio, so pretty much any song that you think **you** are sick of hearing, **I** am ready to toss myself off a water tower over.

There are a few, however, that stick out :

Beth Hart “LA Song” - oh make it stop, I have a 14 year old sister who can write better than this . . .

“and he lied and he lied and he lied and he lied,  
he lied like a saleman selling flys”

**what ??! who pays you to suck so bad ?**

Men At Work “Down Under” - no, wait . . .

“on a hippie trail, head full of zombies”

Or **“on a drug addled trip, head full of nonsense”**.

Duncan Sheik “Barely Breathing” - which would be how I feel when I have to play this for the one millionth time.  
BTW, of course he’s “barely breathing”, he’s from New Jersey.

Then of course there is Creed’s once decent song - “With Arms Wide Open” which was nice a long long time ago. Now with arms wide open is just the best way to slit my wrists.

Sadly I have only scratched the surface.

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**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\
**Post date:** [April 9, 2001, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aural-displeasure-the-worst-all-time-songs/61284/30 "2001-04-09T14:03:23Z")

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_Seasons in the Sun_ was by Terry Jacks. The recent cover version by Westlife was so insipid it made me nostalgic for the original.

My nomination for all-time worst song ever ever ever is _No Way No Way (M’nah M’nah)_ by Vanilla. If you haven’t heard it, well…consider yourself blessed. It’s essentially four trollops chanting vaguely over the “m’nah m’nah” song that was done much more successfully by the Muppets. There was even a video, overwhelmingly voted Worst Video Ever by The Chart Show (a former UK music video show) – staff reported rolling on the floor with their fingers in their ears every time it was played.

Trust me on this one – it’s **bad**.

Worse than _You Light Up My Life_.

Worse than _Billy Don’t Be A Hero_.

Worse than _Afternoon Delight_.

I’m not kidding here.

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**Author:** ![bdgr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a87d85/32.png) [@bdgr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bdgr)\
**Post date:** [April 9, 2001, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aural-displeasure-the-worst-all-time-songs/61284/31 "2001-04-09T15:09:30Z")

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The sequal to “Children of the sun”…I actually have this on vinal. I found it in a used record store, as said"Hey, I wonder why I never heard of this?". Took it home, and found out why(at least I only paid a buck for it…)

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**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\
**Post date:** [April 9, 2001, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aural-displeasure-the-worst-all-time-songs/61284/32 "2001-04-09T15:22:31Z")

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Took me a minute to think of the ones I’d include. I used to work in radio years ago, so like **NothingMan** , I know plenty of songs that I’d prefer to avoid if possible.

However, while I will admit to actually finding and listening to and nowadays liking some of the cheesy stuff we heard so much of in the past (nostalgia, don’tcha know), there are only a few that I consider to be among the worst ever recorded, and that I hope never to hear again:

**"Emotional Rescue" by the Rolling Stones.** C’mon, guys, what was this? A contractual obligation? Something to fill the spare hours? Fatigue? You’re capable of so much better.

**"Tainted Love" by Soft Cell.** A constant overwhelming monotonous beat that never stops–what a nice change from disco! Seriously, _overplayed tripe_ is the kindest term I can think of to describe it.

**"Ben" by Michael Jackson.** Somebody earlier mentioned “Timothy,” about cannibalism. Well, “Ben” is something just as off-putting: Michael Jackson sings a love song to a rat.

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**Author:** ![Albert\_Rose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9de053/32.png) [@Albert\_Rose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Albert_Rose)\
**Post date:** [April 9, 2001, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aural-displeasure-the-worst-all-time-songs/61284/33 "2001-04-09T15:35:12Z")

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**One More Try** by Georgie Michael. Melodramatic pablum.  
**Grandma Got Run Over By a Raindeer** is offensive to we Southerners who have good taste. All six of us.

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**Author:** ![lurkernomore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d6d6ee/32.png) [@lurkernomore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lurkernomore)\
**Post date:** [April 9, 2001, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aural-displeasure-the-worst-all-time-songs/61284/34 "2001-04-09T15:55:00Z")

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Madonna’s cover of “American Pie”. IMHO WORST REMAKE EVER!!

I don’t hate Madonna, but that is a sad dirge, no upbeat at all. McLean was perfect for it.

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**Author:** ![Fletch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/919ad9/32.png) [@Fletch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fletch)\
**Post date:** [April 9, 2001, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aural-displeasure-the-worst-all-time-songs/61284/35 "2001-04-09T16:35:51Z")

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Anything done by Green Day.

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**Author:** ![Tars\_Tarkas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Tars\_Tarkas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tars_Tarkas)\
**Post date:** [April 9, 2001, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aural-displeasure-the-worst-all-time-songs/61284/36 "2001-04-09T16:37:52Z")

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I hate “jack and diane” more than anything else in the world. There is just something about the guitar part i hate, and the lyrics stink as well. And, by default, I hate second much that teeny bopper song that sampled(stole) the guitar rift.

of course, I am not too fond of the teeny bopper songs anyway, where has talent gone?

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**Author:** ![slortar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6bbea6/32.png) [@slortar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slortar)\
**Post date:** [April 9, 2001, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aural-displeasure-the-worst-all-time-songs/61284/37 "2001-04-09T17:07:33Z")

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As much as it’s a cliche to say this…

I _really_ hate “Muskrat Love.”

My mother once bought the album just to inflict that song on me and I nearly clawed my way through the wall to get out of hearing range.

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**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\
**Post date:** [April 9, 2001, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aural-displeasure-the-worst-all-time-songs/61284/38 "2001-04-09T17:20:42Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Airman Doors, USAF \*  
> Don’t get me started on some of the stuff I grew up with (Soundgarden, REM, old school Metallica, etc.)

I don’t knock Soundgarden or old Metallica, and I don’t much care for the Stones myself, but the world would have been a better place had everyone involved with REM had hands and larynxes removed at birth. As Dennis Leary put it: “Pull this bus over to the side of the pretentiousness turnpike! I want the shiny people over _here_ and the happy people over **here**. I represent angry, gun-toting, meat-eating ^\*@#ing people.”

\<pant, pant, pant, slug of booze\>

And thankyewsomuch, **SilkyThreat** , for reopening the horrid gangrenous wound in my psyche that is “Achy Breaky Heart”. I had the misfortune to live in a hick town in Louisiana when this atrocity was at its pandemic height. There was nowhere to go to escape it–even the _rock_ station (which required careful antenna manipulation to receive) played the &@#% thing! I only recovered enough last year to appreciate Weird Al’s parody, which might have been channeled directly from my traumatized brain.

\<Sets up appointment with therapist\>

**lurkernomore** , you are absolutely correct. There are three ultimate rules of rock:

1. Don’t step on the blue suede shoes.
2. Don’t mess around with Jim.
3. Don’t _ever_ freakin’ cover _American Pie_!

\<Regains composure with an effort\>

**Tars** , “Jack and Diane” is one of the most miserable pieces of defeatist tripe ever inflicted on the airwaves. It deserves far more abuse than you heaped on it, but I have to get ready for that appointment…

\<Begins labelling bullets “Madonna”, “Billy Rae”, “Mellencamp”…\>

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**Author:** ![ThisYearsGirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/73ab20/32.png) [@ThisYearsGirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThisYearsGirl)\
**Post date:** [April 9, 2001, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aural-displeasure-the-worst-all-time-songs/61284/39 "2001-04-09T17:28:31Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Ice Wolf \*  
> “Lady in Red” by Chris deBurgh  
> \*\*

ACK! I hate this song so much–aaaah! Now it’s in my head!! The only possible worse fate would be to have either “Eve of Destruction” by Barry Maguire(?) or that “Pass the Dutchi on the left hand side” song in my head.

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**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\
**Post date:** [April 9, 2001, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aural-displeasure-the-worst-all-time-songs/61284/40 "2001-04-09T18:27:14Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by D18 \*  
> \*\*“I’ve never been to me” by some one-named babette in the 70s. (Charlene?).
> 
> “I’ve been undressed by kings,  
> And I’ve seen some things,  
> That a woman just ain’t s’possed to see,  
> I’ve been to paradise,  
> But I’ve never been to me”
> 
> Wish I could expunge that from my mind, but it’s burned in there.  
> \*\*

I do not have the same harsh feelings towards this song as others do, since I was not around in the 70s and never heard it until I saw _Priscilla, Queen of the Desert_. So I always associate the song with Terrence Stamp in drag. 🙂

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