# Aurelian's mindless poll - bumper stickers **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 28, 2001, 7:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aurelians-mindless-poll-bumper-stickers/74066 "2001-07-28T07:29:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![City\_Gent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a87d85/32.png) [@City\_Gent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/City_Gent)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2001, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aurelians-mindless-poll-bumper-stickers/74066/21 "2001-07-30T04:20:49Z")
My all-time favorite: “For a Small Town, This One Sure Has Lots Of Assholes”, written in weird, sloping block letters. ---
**Author:** ![Labdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/439d5e/32.png) [@Labdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Labdad)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2001, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aurelians-mindless-poll-bumper-stickers/74066/22 "2001-07-30T15:43:00Z")
In the what would Jesus do vein, I saw a bumper sticker last year that said “Jesus Would Use His Turn Signal” Along the same line, I saw another one reading, “Forget World Peace - Visualize Using Your Turn Signal!” ---
**Author:** ![Medicinal\_Herb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9a140/32.png) [@Medicinal\_Herb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Medicinal_Herb)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2001, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aurelians-mindless-poll-bumper-stickers/74066/23 "2001-07-30T17:32:13Z")
A few from my Native American friends: “My heroes have always killed cowboys” (next to a picture of Geronimo" “Custer got Siouxed” “Now you’ve seen The New World - Go Home” “America - Love it or give it back” “Custer died for your sins” ---
**Author:** ![armedmonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2001, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aurelians-mindless-poll-bumper-stickers/74066/24 "2001-07-30T18:20:13Z")
(small, red, and official looking) AUTHORIZATION for PARKING Class C Area 51, Groom Lake Facility USAF ---
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2001, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aurelians-mindless-poll-bumper-stickers/74066/25 "2001-07-30T20:08:17Z")
“Musicians Duet Better” “Your College Sucks” DoctorJ, I saw an old one that yours reminded me of: “Go Braves-and take the Hawks with you” ---
**Author:** ![Kakkerlak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/bb73d2/32.png) [@Kakkerlak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kakkerlak)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2001, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aurelians-mindless-poll-bumper-stickers/74066/26 "2001-07-30T22:44:25Z")
I realize that the “peeing Calvin” window stickers don’t really count as sloganizing, but one I saw while driving through Calumet City struck me as funny a couple of weeks ago. The vehicle was a newer Mazda light pickup truck, dark blue, with tinted windows, driving aggressively through Wednesday rush hour traffic on Route 355. The Calvin sticker was peeing on the text “Ford Trucks”. Mazda pickups are Ford Rangers. Mazda SUV’s are Ford Explorers. ---
**Author:** ![Saint\_Zero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c4cdca/32.png) [@Saint\_Zero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saint_Zero)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2001, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aurelians-mindless-poll-bumper-stickers/74066/27 "2001-07-30T23:13:59Z")
How could you forget the world famous “Chtulhu for President! [sub]Why vote for the lesser of two evils?[/sub]” ---
**Author:** ![Beltane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/aca169/32.png) [@Beltane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beltane)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2001, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aurelians-mindless-poll-bumper-stickers/74066/28 "2001-07-31T22:34:35Z")
I really like my “eschew obfuscation” sticker. ---
**Author:** ![MonkeyMensch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/82dd89/32.png) [@MonkeyMensch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MonkeyMensch)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2001, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aurelians-mindless-poll-bumper-stickers/74066/29 "2001-08-01T05:29:25Z")
My buddy used to have a “Mean People Suck” sticker where a hood ornament would be. The punch was that on the back was the “Nice People Swallow” sticker… ---
**Author:** ![darian00](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/dfb087/32.png) [@darian00](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/darian00)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2001, 5:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aurelians-mindless-poll-bumper-stickers/74066/30 "2001-08-01T05:38:48Z")
I saw one with some deformed yellow smiley faces that said “Stop inbreeding-Ban Country Music” that made me laugh for quite a while. I saw another one that said “I love cats-they taste just like chicken” that I really liked. And I would love to see that one with the darwin fish humping the Jesus fish. [sub]OK, now I KNOW I’m going to hell…[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![shell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/46a35a/32.png) [@shell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shell)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2001, 6:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aurelians-mindless-poll-bumper-stickers/74066/31 "2001-08-01T06:03:48Z")
“This too shall pass” seen on a well-used but still spunky ford during an hour long traffic jam. Yes, the traffic jam passed, so did the ford for that matter. I’m now convinced that that particular sticker can be applied to any situation involving vehicular movement. ---
**Author:** ![Jeannie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e480ec/32.png) [@Jeannie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jeannie)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2001, 6:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aurelians-mindless-poll-bumper-stickers/74066/32 "2001-08-01T06:14:51Z")
I have one on my car that says, “DO NOT WASH: This car is undergoing a scientific dirt test” I got it because my dad was forever complaining that my car was so dirty. The day I got it, he was looking at my car, and I said, “So, how do you like the sticker?” I haven’t heard a word about it since. One that I really liked and would love to get: “Humpty Dumpty Was Pushed” I have no idea why, but it totally cracks me up. ---
**Author:** ![DarkPrince](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce73a5/32.png) [@DarkPrince](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DarkPrince)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2001, 7:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aurelians-mindless-poll-bumper-stickers/74066/33 "2001-08-01T07:12:12Z")
The best one I ever saw was like one of those Darwin or Jesus fishes, except it said Cthulhu and had wierd fins and four or five eyes on tentacles coming out of the head. ---
**Author:** ![Danimal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bb73d2/32.png) [@Danimal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Danimal)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2001, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aurelians-mindless-poll-bumper-stickers/74066/34 "2001-08-01T13:51:06Z")
My favorite bumper sticker ever has to be, “I eat the flesh of the living - and I vote!” ---
**Author:** ![Gregor\_Samsa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a6a055/32.png) [@Gregor\_Samsa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gregor_Samsa)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2001, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aurelians-mindless-poll-bumper-stickers/74066/35 "2001-08-01T16:14:47Z")
“If going to church makes you a Christian, does going to the garage make you a car?” “Honk if you’re Jesus” still cracks me up. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Cynical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee59a6/32.png) [@Mr.Cynical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Cynical)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2001, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aurelians-mindless-poll-bumper-stickers/74066/36 "2001-08-01T16:21:08Z")
On the back of my truck: “Hug your kid. Spank the sound barrier.” Awwwwwwwwwww yeah. ---
**Author:** ![Yersinia\_Pestis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/ccd318/32.png) [@Yersinia\_Pestis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yersinia_Pestis)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2001, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aurelians-mindless-poll-bumper-stickers/74066/37 "2001-08-01T16:28:29Z")
Up here in Vermont, we had a rash of “Take back Vermont” signs and bumper stickers in response to the Civil Unions bill. The obvious response was stickers that read “Take Vermont forward.” Much funnier, however, were ones saying “Take Vermont from behind.” And I don’t get “Hug your kid. Spank the sound barrier.” ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2001, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aurelians-mindless-poll-bumper-stickers/74066/38 "2001-08-01T17:44:34Z")
I’m sure I’ve posted this here before, but I still get a kick out of this pair of bumper stickers, from the car of my junior-year English teacher: On the left: TEACHERS DO MORE THAN TEACH On the right: ASK ME ABOUT MARY KAY COSMETICS ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2001, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aurelians-mindless-poll-bumper-stickers/74066/39 "2001-08-01T17:48:05Z")
Thought y’all might be interested in this: [Bumper Sticker Wisdom : America’s Pulpit Above the Tailpipe](http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/188522317X/qid=996687578/sr=1-3/ref=sc_b_3/107-0064207-0213373) by Carol Gardner ---
**Author:** ![Chas.E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e99b99/32.png) [@Chas.E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chas.E)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2001, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aurelians-mindless-poll-bumper-stickers/74066/40 "2001-08-01T17:53:20Z")
My favorite bumper sticker was a generic sticker. I mean, it was just a sticker with the word “Sticker” written on it, with those blue stripes they used to mark generic products. I bought it at a record store, it was an accessory to the PiL album which used the same generic packaging, on vinyl it was “Album” and on cassette it was labeled “Cassette.” A promo bumper sticker came out so it was “Sticker.” It had a small PiL logo but nobody knew what it meant. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aurelians-mindless-poll-bumper-stickers/74066.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aurelians-mindless-poll-bumper-stickers/74066.md?page=3)