Hard to go wrong with Victorian Bitter (VB) as your brew.
For variety my preference goes to the out-of-staters eg James Squires (Sydney), Coopers (Adelaide) and Boags (Tasmania)
Footy is a bit more complicated. The choices are:
Collingwood
St Kilda
Footscray (Western Bulldogs)
Hawthorn
North Melbourne (Kangaroos)
Carlton
Melbourne
Richmond
Essendon
The general rule of thumb is that three colours are inappropriate on a proper footy jumper.
My recomendation would be to pick from Melbourne, North Melbourne and Footscray, and presuming they aren’t living in the West, then Melbourne is likely your best bet. The “I’m an American, I’m living in Melbourne, I’m barracking for Melbourne” has an authentic ring to it. As distinct from “I’m new here from the States and I barrack for Carlton”, unless they’re from Dallas. Collingwood … no. Just no. By the end of the two year stint your cousins will viscerally hate Eddie McGuire just like everybody else does. Trust me. St Kilda Have had arguably the best squad for a couple of years but the window is closing, or more accurately they slammed it on their own heads. Hawthorn cultivate the “happy, family values” club image whilst being the competion trogs. Arguably wear the worst jumper in world professional sport. Carlton … no. Just No. Ego. Money. Showponies. Politics. Cheats. (K)nobs. Run a crap football department. Barrack for their opponent every week. Richmond & Essendon are former powers brought down by hubris … but not far enough, nor for long enough yet.
I don’t follow it, don’t care about it and resent the time it spends on free-to-air tv that could otherwise be used to show something I am actually interested in, but I find life is easier if I answer the question “Which footy team do you barrack for?” with “Essendon. Carn the bombers.” They seem to have a lot of supporters (around these parts anyway), and don’t seem to do well enough for anyone to want to rehash their last few games. I think. My comprehension of all matters football is hazy with disinterest and avoidance.
Tigers, great history and best theme song of all. You will be required to sing the song if we win a game, it is incredibly daggy but very cool.
Do not drink Fosters EOS. Try Coopers, nice real beer.
Now I have kids the same age and older and the list to do is as follows.
Puffing Billy, great day out in the Victorian rain forests. Just great gotta do it.
Museum, free for kids under 12, usual stuff but still pretty cool
National Gallery, take the kids to see a grand master or modern arts
See a show at the performing arts centre, everything from ballet to rock
Spiegel tent, google it I can not do it justice, but mandatory
Trams, love 'em even the tramcar rest
Aquarium, not my cup of tea but kids seem to love it
Try and get to an ANZAC day footy match, Essendon vs Collingwood, 100,000 people going off and no fights! Audience can be 50% female
Festivals, Moomba etc are fun
Southbank is commercial but fun,
Melbourne Sports & Aquatic Centre [MSAC] for a swim is nice
Albert Park Lake to feed the ducks and lye about on the grass with a nice little picinic
Boat trip up the yarra
Hopetoun Tea Rooms, established 1882. Just old skool cakes and tea.
Chinatown for Yum Cha also Chinese Musuem is cool
You have to realize that we are from Detroit. ( Well, Michigan. No one is actually from Detroit, anymore.) Where we have the Lions. A team that went 0-16 just a few seasons ago and has scarcely improved since then, so anything else (Handicapped Nuns Vs. Blind One Legged Men) would be an improvement in skills and talent. ( Yet, we watch week after week so we can throw things at the screen and practice our foul language and obscene gestures.)
I’ve sent my cousin the linkage for this thread, if he shows up, I dunno. But if he does, I have this to say:
