# Australia Day (Jan 26th) check list **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 25, 2013, 10:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/australia-day-jan-26th-check-list/648309 "2013-01-25T10:55:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![penultima\_thule](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/penultima_thule/32/3833_2.png) [@penultima\_thule](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/penultima_thule)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2013, 10:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/australia-day-jan-26th-check-list/648309/1 "2013-01-25T10:55:29Z")
With our National Day imminent and millions of lamb cutlets being prepared for the ritual BBQ it’s a reasonable time to indulge in some understated smugness of just how clever we are. But of course we don’t want to blow our own trumpets … that would be skiting. None-the-less any objective reflection of little old Oz against it’s peers in comparative econometric terms shows we’re doing OK, to wit the latest OECD assessment: > [@](#): > > “Australia’s long period of uninterrupted economic growth makes it the Iron Man among the OECD countries,” OECD Secretary-General Angel Gurría 14/12/2012. Which frankly is getting a bit embarrassing and runs the risk of attracting unwanted attention. I mean we’ve only just recovered from that influx of Oprah’s apostles and now we hear Ellen DeGeneres’ hordes are heading this way as well. So just a quick reference list for any locals who want to check the _bona fides_ of any suspected blow-ins. > [@](#): > > You know you’re Australian if … > > 1. You know the meaning of the word “girt”. > 2. You believe that stubbies can be either drunk or worn. > 3. You think it’s normal to have a Treasurer called Wayne. > 4. You waddle when you walk due to the 53 expired petrol discount vouchers stuffed in your wallet or purse. > 5. You’ve made a bong out of your garden hose rather than use it for something illegal such as watering the garden. > 6. You believe it is appropriate to put a rubber in your son’s pencil case when he first attends school. > 7. When you hear that an American “roots for his team” you wonder how often and with whom. > 8. You understand that the phrase “a group of women wearing black thongs” refers to footwear and may be less alluring than it sounds. > 9. You pronounce Melbourne as “Mel-bin”. > 10. You pronounce Penrith as “Pen-riff”. > 11. You believe the “l” in the word “Australia” is optional. > 12. You can translate: “Dazza and Shazza played Acca Dacca on the way to Maccas.” > 13. You believe it makes perfect sense for a nation to decorate its highways with large fibreglass bananas, prawns and sheep. > 14. You call your best friend “a total bastard” but someone you really, truly despise is just “a bit of a bastard”. > 15. You think “Woolloomooloo” is a perfectly reasonable name for a place. > 16. You’re secretly proud of our killer wildlife. > 17. You believe it makes sense for a country to have a $1 coin that’s twice as big as its $2 coin. > 18. You understand that “Wagga Wagga” can be abbreviated to “Wagga” but “Woy Woy” can’t be called “Woy”. > 19. You believe that cooked-down axlegrease makes a good breakfast spread. > 20. You believe all famous Kiwis are actually Australian, until they stuff up, at which point they again become Kiwis. > 21. Hamburger. Beetroot. Of course. > 22. You know that certain words must, by law, be shouted out during any rendition of the Angels’ song Am I Ever Gonna See Your Face Again. > 23. You believe, as an article of faith, that the confectionary known as the Wagon Wheel has become smaller with every passing year. > 24. You still don’t get why the “Labor” in “Australian Labor Party” is not spelt with a “u”. > 25. You wear ugh boots outside the house. > 26. You believe, as an article of faith, that every important discovery in the world was made by an Australian but then sold off to the Yanks for a pittance. > 27. You believe that the more you shorten someone’s name the more you like them. > 28. Whatever your linguistic skills, you find yourself able to order takeaway fluently in every Asian language. > 29. You understand that “excuse me” can sound rude, while “scuse me” is always polite. > 30. You know what it’s like to swallow a fly, on occasion via your nose. > 31. You understand that “you” has a plural and that it’s “youse”. > 32. You know it’s not summer until the steering wheel is too hot to handle. > 33. Your biggest family argument over the summer concerned the rules for beach cricket. > 34. You shake your head in horror when companies try to market what they call “Anzac cookies”. > 35. You still think of Kylie as “that girl off Neighbours”. > 36. When returning home from overseas, you expect to be brutally strip-searched by Customs - just in case you’re trying to sneak in fruit. > 37. You believe the phrase “smart casual” refers to a pair of black tracky-daks, suitably laundered. > 38. You understand that all train timetables are works of fiction. > 39. When working on a bar, you understand male customers will feel the need to offer an excuse whenever they order low-alcohol beer. > 40. You get choked up with emotion by the first verse of the national anthem and then have trouble remembering the second. > 41. You find yourself ignorant of nearly all the facts deemed essential in the government’s new test for migrants. > 42. You know, whatever the tourist books say, that no one says “cobber”. > 43. And you will immediately forward this list to other Australians, here and overseas, realising that only they will understand. > > _First published in the Sydney Morning Herald, January 26, 2008._ ---
**Author:** ![jabiru](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/bbce88/32.png) [@jabiru](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jabiru)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2013, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/australia-day-jan-26th-check-list/648309/2 "2013-01-25T13:25:51Z")
Bewdy bottler. ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2013, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/australia-day-jan-26th-check-list/648309/3 "2013-01-25T13:37:24Z")
Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaate. ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2013, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/australia-day-jan-26th-check-list/648309/4 "2013-01-25T21:06:25Z")
Geez yer’ a dag **Thulie.** It’s _UGG_ boots, not ugh. 😃 Happy Australia Day everyone. May youse getting a good drenching up north be safe, and may those others of youse still fighting fires down south get some relief today as well. I love Australia. How can you NOT love a country that gives you a two-fer when Aus Day falls on a weekend?? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![penultima\_thule](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/penultima_thule/32/3833_2.png) [@penultima\_thule](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/penultima_thule)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2013, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/australia-day-jan-26th-check-list/648309/5 "2013-01-25T21:27:49Z")
> [@kambuckta](#): > > Geez yer’ a dag **Thulie.** > > It’s _UGG_ boots, not ugh. 😃 Well, indeed, and I readilly defer to your expertise in _haute couture_, but, you see I’m quoting (Richard Glover drive time DJ on Radio702) not the author. Personally I pronounce Melbourne as Mel-bun and never watched Kylie on Neighbours but hell 40/43 isn’t bad. ---
**Author:** ![stui\_magpie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stui_magpie/32/11010_2.png) [@stui\_magpie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stui_magpie)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2013, 7:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/australia-day-jan-26th-check-list/648309/6 "2013-01-26T07:17:21Z")
Bewdy mate, Didn’t see your thread before I put mine up. Love the list, how I pronounce Melbourne depends on my state of sobriety. Sober, it’s Mel Burn. After a few beers it’s Melbn.🆒😃 ---
**Author:** ![Essured](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/278dde/32.png) [@Essured](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Essured)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2013, 9:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/australia-day-jan-26th-check-list/648309/7 "2013-01-26T09:28:08Z")
Ken Oath maaaaaate. Raising a beer to youse all! ---
**Author:** ![Aspidistra](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aspidistra/32/3894_2.png) [@Aspidistra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aspidistra)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2013, 9:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/australia-day-jan-26th-check-list/648309/8 "2013-01-26T09:33:39Z")
I was in trouble at question 1… ---
**Author:** ![Sierra\_Indigo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f0a364/32.png) [@Sierra\_Indigo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sierra_Indigo)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2013, 9:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/australia-day-jan-26th-check-list/648309/9 "2013-01-26T09:59:33Z")
> [@penultima\_thule](#): > > 1. You know that certain words must, by law, be shouted out during any rendition of the Angels’ song Am I Ever Gonna See Your Face Again. ♫ _No way, get fucked, fuck off_ ♫ 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Snerky\_Snerk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6bbea6/32.png) [@Snerky\_Snerk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snerky_Snerk)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2013, 10:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/australia-day-jan-26th-check-list/648309/10 "2013-01-26T10:18:20Z")
Aussie! Aussie! Aussie! ---
**Author:** ![resting](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/258eb7/32.png) [@resting](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/resting)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2013, 1:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/australia-day-jan-26th-check-list/648309/11 "2013-01-26T13:01:38Z")
Happy Invasion Day ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2013, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/australia-day-jan-26th-check-list/648309/12 "2013-01-26T13:23:04Z")
> [@Sierra\_Indigo](#): > > ♫ _No way, get fucked, fuck off_ ♫ 😉 That clever little musical notation you put in there was totally inappropriate. If you are singing it, you are doing it wrong. ---
**Author:** ![Sierra\_Indigo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f0a364/32.png) [@Sierra\_Indigo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sierra_Indigo)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2013, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/australia-day-jan-26th-check-list/648309/13 "2013-01-26T15:37:21Z")
> [@Princhester](#): > > That clever little musical notation you put in there was totally inappropriate. If you are singing it, you are doing it wrong. The notation is so some jumped-up mod doesn’t get all buttmad for telling someone to “fuck off”. I thought it was best to make it adequately clear it was a line intended for the song. ---
**Author:** ![Motorgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e36b37/32.png) [@Motorgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Motorgirl)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2013, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/australia-day-jan-26th-check-list/648309/14 "2013-01-26T15:56:39Z")
IANAA but a good friend is. We’re hitting a local butcher today who is making “beef snags” for Australia Day. I didn’t know what they were but was informed they are beef sausages. Should be interesting. ETA: Also the package of Tim Tams I have been hoarding will come out of the freezer today. ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Nader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Darth\_Nader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Nader)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2013, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/australia-day-jan-26th-check-list/648309/15 "2013-01-26T19:54:49Z")
1. You believe that cooked-down axlegrease makes a good breakfast spread. At one point, I had to beg for it online. Never understood those pink musk lifesavers, though. Cheers! ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2013, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/australia-day-jan-26th-check-list/648309/16 "2013-01-27T01:13:43Z")
Funny the list doesn’t mention the only thing I have associated with Australia Day for many years now, the _JJJ Hottest 100_. And I guess Sam Kekovich lamb ads and dickheads with _Aussie Pride_ emblazoned on cars or clothing. ---
**Author:** ![China\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/779978/32.png) [@China\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/China_Guy)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2013, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/australia-day-jan-26th-check-list/648309/17 "2013-01-27T01:45:06Z")
Digger, help a Seppo out, translate this from 'strain please: 1. You can translate: “Dazza and Shazza played Acca Dacca on the way to Maccas.” ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2013, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/australia-day-jan-26th-check-list/648309/18 "2013-01-27T01:55:51Z")
Darren and Sharon played [AC/DC](http://www.acdc.com/us/home) on their way to McDonalds. ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2013, 5:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/australia-day-jan-26th-check-list/648309/19 "2013-01-27T05:35:54Z")
> [@don\_t\_ask](#): > > Darren and Sharon played [AC/DC](http://www.acdc.com/us/home) on their way to McDonalds. Could be Daryl (take your pick of spellings) and Sharon too of course. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2013, 5:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/australia-day-jan-26th-check-list/648309/20 "2013-01-27T05:38:41Z")
> [@China\_Guy](#): > > Digger, help a Seppo out, translate this from 'strain please: Oh, and just to be of even more assistance, it’s called STRINE, not 'strain. Strain is what you do on the dunny. 😉 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/australia-day-jan-26th-check-list/648309.md?page=2)