# Australia to Obama: Free crocodile insurance **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 16, 2011, 7:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/australia-to-obama-free-crocodile-insurance/603099 "2011-11-16T07:15:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![armedmonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2011, 7:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/australia-to-obama-free-crocodile-insurance/603099/1 "2011-11-16T07:15:24Z")
Are you, like most Americans, concerned how Michelle Obama would cover the funeral expenses if her husband was eaten by a crocodile? Now you can breathe a little easier knowing Australia is there in these uncertain times. [The Northern Territory Government has announced its insurance company will pay the president’s family $50,000 if he gets attacked by a crocodile.](http://www.abc.net.au/news/2011-11-15/obama-given-croc-insurance/3673476) ---
**Author:** ![MEBuckner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mebuckner/32/2896_2.png) [@MEBuckner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MEBuckner)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2011, 7:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/australia-to-obama-free-crocodile-insurance/603099/2 "2011-11-16T07:31:58Z")
It says the First Family will receive $50,000 if the POTUS is “attacked” by a crocodile. Is that specifically if he’s _killed_ by one? What if he’s just maimed a bit–is there some lesser pay-out? What if a crocodile attacks him, but he wrestles it into submission, Teddy Roosevelt-style? ---
**Author:** ![Isamu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7c8e57/32.png) [@Isamu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isamu)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2011, 7:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/australia-to-obama-free-crocodile-insurance/603099/3 "2011-11-16T07:53:57Z")
> [@MEBuckner](#): > > What if a crocodile attacks him, but he wrestles it into submission, Teddy Roosevelt-style? In that case, as clichéd as it is to say it … everybody wins. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Rachellelogram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rachellelogram/32/8689_2.png) [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2011, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/australia-to-obama-free-crocodile-insurance/603099/4 "2011-11-16T16:23:26Z")
Hmm, I’ve been LOOKING for someone to buy this volcano insurance… ---
**Author:** ![muldoonthief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muldoonthief/32/3188_2.png) [@muldoonthief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/muldoonthief)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2011, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/australia-to-obama-free-crocodile-insurance/603099/5 "2011-11-16T16:31:12Z")
Yeah, like crocodiles are all you have to worry about in Australia. How about all the venomous snakes? Cane toads? Boxing kangaroos? Cassowaries & emus? ---
**Author:** ![Rachellelogram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rachellelogram/32/8689_2.png) [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2011, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/australia-to-obama-free-crocodile-insurance/603099/6 "2011-11-16T17:40:45Z")
And the dingoes. They’ll eat your baby. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2011, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/australia-to-obama-free-crocodile-insurance/603099/7 "2011-11-16T18:13:27Z")
Hey, that kangaroo has a gun. ---
**Author:** ![Giles](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giles/32/60_2.png) [@Giles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giles)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2011, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/australia-to-obama-free-crocodile-insurance/603099/8 "2011-11-16T18:18:49Z")
> [@muldoonthief](#): > > Yeah, like crocodiles are all you have to worry about in Australia. How about all the venomous snakes? Cane toads? Boxing kangaroos? Cassowaries & emus? You forgot the spiders. I trust that Obama’s security personnel make sure that there are no [redbacks on Obama’s toilet seats](http://www.mp3lyrics.org/s/slim-newton/redback/). ---
**Author:** ![Encinitas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@Encinitas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Encinitas)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2011, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/australia-to-obama-free-crocodile-insurance/603099/9 "2011-11-16T18:22:20Z")
Don’t forget the platypus! ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2011, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/australia-to-obama-free-crocodile-insurance/603099/10 "2011-11-16T18:22:44Z")
I was amused by this sentence in the article, “‘For Michelle and the kids they can be comforted if a terrible event did occur then $50,000 would be payed out by TIO to help support them,’ he said.” So even Australians manage to mess up the past tense of the verb “to pay” (it should be “paid out”). ---
**Author:** ![muldoonthief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muldoonthief/32/3188_2.png) [@muldoonthief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/muldoonthief)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2011, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/australia-to-obama-free-crocodile-insurance/603099/11 "2011-11-16T18:29:19Z")
> [@Giles](#): > > You forgot the spiders. I trust that Obama’s security personnel make sure that there are no [redbacks on Obama’s toilet seats](http://www.mp3lyrics.org/s/slim-newton/redback/). Goddamn - spiders, box jellyfish, sharks, monitor lizards, Tasmanian devils, fucking koalas, - why aren’t you all dead? Amusingly, when my wife and I honeymooned in Australia, our most disturbing animal encounter was at a wildlife encounter/petting zoo type place, when a koala dropped a eucalyptus scented turd on my shoulder. ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2011, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/australia-to-obama-free-crocodile-insurance/603099/12 "2011-11-16T19:08:29Z")
Great. So if it’s an alligator he gets nothing? ---
**Author:** ![Rachellelogram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rachellelogram/32/8689_2.png) [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2011, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/australia-to-obama-free-crocodile-insurance/603099/13 "2011-11-16T19:58:13Z")
> [@muldoonthief](#): > > Goddamn - spiders, box jellyfish, sharks, monitor lizards, Tasmanian devils, fucking koalas, - why aren’t you all dead? > > Amusingly, when my wife and I honeymooned in Australia, our most disturbing animal encounter was at a wildlife encounter/petting zoo type place, when a koala dropped a eucalyptus scented turd on my shoulder. bahaha, what does eucalyptus smell like? ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2011, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/australia-to-obama-free-crocodile-insurance/603099/14 "2011-11-16T20:03:17Z")
> [@muldoonthief](#): > > Goddamn - spiders, box jellyfish, sharks, monitor lizards, Tasmanian devils, fucking koalas, - why aren’t you all dead? You forgot blue-ringed octopuses. ---
**Author:** ![armedmonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2011, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/australia-to-obama-free-crocodile-insurance/603099/15 "2011-11-16T20:56:59Z")
The crocodile insurance is probably a good thing. Just look at [the reptillian eyes and sharp teeth](http://thumbs.dreamstime.com/thumblarge_463/1261719495Jo4J5c.jpg) those things have. You can tell that if your hand gets anywhere near one of those things, it will [try to bite your fingers off](http://blog.timesunion.com/opinion/files/2011/04/0418_WVBachmann.jpg). I apologize for linking to the same picture twice ---
**Author:** ![Grumman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/43a26b/32.png) [@Grumman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grumman)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2011, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/australia-to-obama-free-crocodile-insurance/603099/16 "2011-11-16T22:11:02Z")
So NT government basically said “Hey, Obama! I’ll give you fifty grand if you taunt that crocodile!” ---
**Author:** ![Simplicio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c37758/32.png) [@Simplicio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simplicio)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2011, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/australia-to-obama-free-crocodile-insurance/603099/17 "2011-11-16T22:14:27Z")
> [@Grumman](#): > > So NT government basically said “Hey, Obama! I’ll give you fifty grand if you taunt that crocodile!” Now we’ll see how far he’s really willing to go to cut down the National deficit. Though didn’t “black people being eaten by alligators” used to be some weird racist trope back during Jim Crowe? (not that I think the Aussie gov’t would be aware of that) ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2011, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/australia-to-obama-free-crocodile-insurance/603099/18 "2011-11-16T22:19:11Z")
> [@Simplicio](#): > > Now we’ll see how far he’s really willing to go to cut down the National deficit. > > Though didn’t “black people being eaten by alligators” used to be some weird racist trope back during Jim Crowe? (not that I think the Aussie gov’t would be aware of that) It did. At antiques shows, you can sometimes find pens with that theme. A black pen with a pickaninny style head sits in the mouth of of a gator pen-holder. ---
**Author:** ![engineer\_comp\_geek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/engineer_comp_geek/32/504_2.png) [@engineer\_comp\_geek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/engineer_comp_geek)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2011, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/australia-to-obama-free-crocodile-insurance/603099/19 "2011-11-16T22:35:25Z")
This thread is reminding me of this song: [Deadly Animals (Come to Australia) - YouTube](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wy_TB6onHVE) For those who don’t want to click, it’s “Come to Australia” by the Scared Weird Little Guys. ---
**Author:** ![Death\_of\_Rats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a6a055/32.png) [@Death\_of\_Rats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Death_of_Rats)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2011, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/australia-to-obama-free-crocodile-insurance/603099/20 "2011-11-16T22:48:54Z")
> [@MEBuckner](#): > > What if a crocodile attacks him, but he wrestles it into submission, Teddy Roosevelt-style? After what he did to that fly during an interview a few years ago, this is a very believable outcome. Let us not forget the gravest threat Down Under… Australians! They are all desended from criminals! and eat Vegemite! and get all Hal Briston-esque with sheep! God only knows what they may do to an unsupecting US President! 😃 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/australia-to-obama-free-crocodile-insurance/603099.md?page=2)