# Authors/Writers/Creators that Should Lose the Right to Write **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 13, 2004, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/authors-writers-creators-that-should-lose-the-right-to-write/244993 "2004-05-13T18:38:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2004, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/authors-writers-creators-that-should-lose-the-right-to-write/244993/61 "2004-05-14T15:27:50Z")
> [@TellMeI'mNotCrazy](#): > > Straight from the horse’s er… [website](http://www.stephenrdonaldson.com)… Heh, I like how the cover of the first book says “The Most Important Fantasy Event Of The Century”. I know the century is young and all, but there were those Tolkein movies, too… ---
**Author:** ![TellMeI\_mNotCrazy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tellmei_mnotcrazy/32/3419_2.png) [@TellMeI\_mNotCrazy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TellMeI_mNotCrazy)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2004, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/authors-writers-creators-that-should-lose-the-right-to-write/244993/62 "2004-05-14T15:41:16Z")
> [@Revtim](#): > > Heh, I like how the cover of the first book says “The Most Important Fantasy Event Of The Century”. I know the century is young and all, but there were those Tolkein movies, too… Yeah I saw that too, couldn’t help but :rolleyes: I wonder if that will actually make the printed edition. At least he says the Chronicles are not likely to ever be made into movies… I just don’t see it working. I really enjoyed Mordant’s Need as well - much more accessibly written than the Covenant books. I just wish I understood how I can love something so much, and yet find it really just horrible at the same time… Hmm… This might explain my ex-husband… _runs off to reflect_ ---
**Author:** ![LibrarySpy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f9ae1b/32.png) [@LibrarySpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LibrarySpy)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2004, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/authors-writers-creators-that-should-lose-the-right-to-write/244993/63 "2004-05-14T15:44:22Z")
**Robert B. Parker** Created: Spenser Crimes: Jesse Stone, Sunny Randall Punishment: To be locked in a small room with a baseball-bat-wielding Avery Brooks. “The ways of the Lord are often dark, but never pleasant.” **Orson Scott Card** Created: Ender’s Game, Shadow of the Hegemon, Shadow Puppets Crimes: His attempts at fantasy and spirituality (including Ender sequels and Ender parents), the character “Bean.” Punishment: To be forced to write only near-future but taking-place-in-the-Cold-War political yarns. Which he seems to be doing at present, so…er…he’s on probation. ---
**Author:** ![Mullinator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@Mullinator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mullinator)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2004, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/authors-writers-creators-that-should-lose-the-right-to-write/244993/64 "2004-05-14T16:12:59Z")
Good Lord, page 2 of this thread and still no mention of the dreaded **Clive Cussler** Wrote: A pile of crap Offense: Above noted pile of crap This “writer” takes some grade D action hero concept, vaguely reworks it to set it in water, throws in pathetic sketches of characters, adds more water, creates bad guys that would be laughed out of an Archie and Jughead comic, adds more water, wraps up his plot in thoroughly impossible and unlikely ways, adds more water, writes himself in as a convenient cameo figure that randomly has the one item that makes everything OK again, and then coats the whole thing in a thick layer of ice which will eventually melt into even more water for the “plot”. ---
**Author:** ![Yamirskoonir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/c0e974/32.png) [@Yamirskoonir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yamirskoonir)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2004, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/authors-writers-creators-that-should-lose-the-right-to-write/244993/65 "2004-05-14T17:03:24Z")
> [@tomndebb](#): > > Gee, all the fantasy titles/authors in this thread and no one has mentioned Terry Brooks? Gee, all the fantasy titles/authors in this thread and no one has mentioned _Piers f’n Anthony?!?!_ The sad part was that it took me about 20 books into the Xanth series to realize that the whole thing was going absolutely nowhere (I was young and inexperienced). Reading his work for literary satisfaction is analogous to eating air and expecting to become full. Moving away from the sci-fi/fantasy genre a little, **Mary Higgins Clark** Wrote: a lot of books with the same f’n plot Punishment: Make her daughter, who might have actaully had a career, write the same kind of mechanical mindless drivel…oh, wait. Only book of hers I ever truly enjoyed was _While MY Pretty One Sleeps_. Everything after that was just a re-hash or a variation of the same plot with static, wooden characters. I understand the woman had a similar real-life traumatic event, but c’mon already-! ---
**Author:** ![CandidGamera](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/candidgamera/32/2878_2.png) [@CandidGamera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CandidGamera)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2004, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/authors-writers-creators-that-should-lose-the-right-to-write/244993/66 "2004-05-14T17:12:50Z")
Yeah, okay, I’ll do it… **Piers Anthony** Writes : Lotsa stuff. Xanth. Crime : 26 counts of ‘blatantly setting up sequels’ “Gee, NewPerson certainly has an interesting problem, doesn’t s/he, CurrentProtagonist? I hope that works out for him/her.” Punishment : 72 hour marathon of the Scorpion King, on endless repeat. ---
**Author:** ![rjung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/45deac/32.png) [@rjung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjung)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2004, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/authors-writers-creators-that-should-lose-the-right-to-write/244993/67 "2004-05-14T19:56:28Z")
**Arthur C. Clarke** Wrote: _2001: A Space Odyssey, 2010, 2061: Odyssey’s End, Rendezvous With Rama, Rama II,_ lotsa others. Crime: Lots, but _Rendezvous With Rama_ get the brunt of the blame – one-dimensional characters, lots of teasing ideas, and a plot that ultimately goes nowhere. The only thing I got out of _Rama_ was the realization that I’ve just lost six days of my life which I’ll never get back. Punishment: Force to watch _Spaceballs_ for eternity. ---
**Author:** ![CandidGamera](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/candidgamera/32/2878_2.png) [@CandidGamera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CandidGamera)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2004, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/authors-writers-creators-that-should-lose-the-right-to-write/244993/68 "2004-05-14T20:09:15Z")
> [@Master Wang-Ka](#): > > **David and Leigh Eddings** : Well, I liked the _Belgariad_. It wasn’t bad. It was different. It wasn’t a \*Lord Of The Rings \* ripoff. Then, when I read the _Malloreon_, I thought, “Gee, aren’t we just kind of retelling the same basic story, here, with a few new characters and a coupla plot twists?” And then, I read the Sparhawk books, and thought, “Gee, this reads quite a bit like The Malloreon…” …and about then, I discovered \*Belgarath The Sorcerer \* and _Polgara The Sorceress_, in which they retell the _Belgariad_ all over again from two other points of view… > > …and I thought, “Why am I reading this crap over and over again? Someone fill me in, here…” > > _Anne Rice_: See the entry for **David and Leigh Eddings** … By the way? Subtle. I like. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2004, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/authors-writers-creators-that-should-lose-the-right-to-write/244993/69 "2004-05-14T20:10:32Z")
Let’s not forget Albert Camus. I had to read that man’s drivel when I was in college. His punishment? I don’t think we have one severe enough for him. ---
**Author:** ![Eutychus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Eutychus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eutychus)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2004, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/authors-writers-creators-that-should-lose-the-right-to-write/244993/70 "2004-05-14T20:22:06Z")
> [@Clothahump](#): > > Let’s not forget Albert Camus. I had to read that man’s drivel when I was in college. > > His punishment? I don’t think we have one severe enough for him. Isn’t it obvious? The Plague. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2004, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/authors-writers-creators-that-should-lose-the-right-to-write/244993/71 "2004-05-14T21:21:19Z")
**Sue Grafton.** She stole the idea from Ed McBain about writing a series of mystery books with alphabetical titles, and wrote absolute unreadable crap. I tried to read one of them. There is very little I cannot at least finish, but she holds the prize! I bought the book at a thrift store for 25 cents. I was overcharged. ---
**Author:** ![HPL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3da27b/32.png) [@HPL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HPL)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2004, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/authors-writers-creators-that-should-lose-the-right-to-write/244993/72 "2004-05-14T21:43:09Z")
> [@rjung](#): > > **Arthur C. Clarke** > > Wrote: _2001: A Space Odyssey, 2010, 2061: Odyssey’s End, Rendezvous With Rama, Rama II,_ lotsa others. > > Crime: Lots, but _Rendezvous With Rama_ get the brunt of the blame – one-dimensional characters, lots of teasing ideas, and a plot that ultimately goes nowhere. The only thing I got out of _Rama_ was the realization that I’ve just lost six days of my life which I’ll never get back. > > Punishment: Force to watch _Spaceballs_ for eternity. I have to disagree with you. R w/ Rama was probably the best Rama Book. The rest went from good to eh… I blame Gently’s Lee’s co-authoring. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2004, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/authors-writers-creators-that-should-lose-the-right-to-write/244993/73 "2004-05-14T22:08:04Z")
> [@Master Wang-Ka](#): > > **L. Ron Hubbard** : A not-bad writer of pulp fiction, he found religion but lost his talent. You mean, he found **ed** religion. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2004, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/authors-writers-creators-that-should-lose-the-right-to-write/244993/74 "2004-05-14T23:30:33Z")
> [@JerH](#): > > Not many non-authors seem to have made it onto this list… > > **Richard Linklater** > Responsible for: _Dazed and Confused_,\* Before Sunrise\* > Unforgiveable crime: _Waking Life_ > Punishment: Being required to watch every single student film that features college students evaluating their life (in other words, every student film ever made) Speaking as a sometime film student, this is incorrect. In my experience, 90% of all student films currently being produced are _Pulp Fiction_ pastiches. ---
**Author:** ![ITR\_champion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c67d28/32.png) [@ITR\_champion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ITR_champion)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2004, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/authors-writers-creators-that-should-lose-the-right-to-write/244993/75 "2004-05-15T03:17:04Z")
> [@rjung](#): > > **Arthur C. Clarke** > Crime: Lots, but _Rendezvous With Rama_ get the brunt of the blame … a plot A plot? What page was that on? ---
**Author:** ![Kyla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/eada6e/32.png) [@Kyla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyla)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2004, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/authors-writers-creators-that-should-lose-the-right-to-write/244993/76 "2004-05-15T03:39:54Z")
> [@flight](#): > > Terry Goodkind was mentiond in passing as punishment for someone else, but he definitely deserves his own. > > Created: The Sword of Truth Series > > Crime: The Sword of Truth Series > > The first book wasn’t amazingly bad, though it wasn’t well written. Contained a little too much rape and torture for me, but I figured he was just trying to be gritty. Next book had a little more rape and torture… until he gets to the book that is entirely about a group of evil red leather wearing dominatrix women who’s entire purpose for being is rape and torture. No more than three pages between torture scenes. More explicit than The Passion. > > Punishment: I would say rape and torture him, but I honestly think he would enjoy it. This guy has serious issues with women. Man, you stopped before it really got bad and the story became one loooong diabtribe against communism, of all things. Because I know that’s why I read fantasy novels - to learn about the author’s political views. Hilariously, one of the novels is even dedicated to the CIA. Punishment: enforced exposure to Air America. ---
**Author:** ![TVeblen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4bbf92/32.png) [@TVeblen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TVeblen)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2004, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/authors-writers-creators-that-should-lose-the-right-to-write/244993/77 "2004-05-15T03:46:55Z")
I’d never quite gotten with the flow of science fiction so somebody recommended her years back. The dragon stuff was pretty good for casual reading; the dragons were cool, the plots moved right on along, everything copecetic: perfectly okay brain- in-house slippers reading. Then the series started cloying badly, like Swiss Family Robinson crossed with the Von Trapps, only obsessed with pregnancy. And her other series…well, they started out okay but plummeted right down the crapper. Entire worlds and the people in them behaved inexplicably _by their own rules_. I’ve long since branched out to much better SF writers. My first love is still murder mysteries, though. My nominee in that category: **Patricia Cornwell**. What a damned waste of natural resources. She’s managed to make forensics and paranoia _boring_. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2004, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/authors-writers-creators-that-should-lose-the-right-to-write/244993/78 "2004-05-15T04:33:36Z")
> [@Yamirskoonir](#): > > Gee, all the fantasy titles/authors in this thread and no one has mentioned _Piers f’n Anthony?!?!_ > > The sad part was that it took me about 20 books into the Xanth series to realize that the whole thing was going absolutely nowhere (I was young and inexperienced). And fucking slow! I figured that out ten pages into the first book I tried. You want crappy fantasy? Try **Andre Norton**. Dull and pointless, and I get enough of that in REAL life. ---
**Author:** ![RobuSensei](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/919ad9/32.png) [@RobuSensei](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RobuSensei)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2004, 7:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/authors-writers-creators-that-should-lose-the-right-to-write/244993/79 "2004-05-15T07:30:11Z")
**Timothy LaHaye** and **Jerry B. Jenkins** Created: the **Left Behind** series Crime: the **Left Behind** series Setting aside the questionable theology for a moment, the Left Behind books are just poorly written. I’d estimate the first four or five books (all I’ve read, and all somewhat under duress) to be at about the fifth or sixth grade reading level. And then, they released a “Left Behind: For Kids” series! A plot that probably could have been a tightly written five or six book series is stretched thin enough to last for twelve. Foreshadowing is laid on with a trowel, then molded into shape with a sledgehammer. Vaguely interesting characters are created, but then become “Christian,” and just a clone of every other Christian character. And then they die. As for the theology…well, they took what was a radical interpretation of Revelations that was accepted only by a small minority of Christians, and are presenting it to the public as what Christianity is. Suffice to say, I don’t agree… ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Cheatem\_Undhow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/13edae/32.png) [@Dewey\_Cheatem\_Undhow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Cheatem_Undhow)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2004, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/authors-writers-creators-that-should-lose-the-right-to-write/244993/80 "2004-05-15T14:24:38Z")
> [@sevastopol](#): > > Justice Antonin Scalia :rolleyes: You may disagree with Scalia’s conclusions, but his writing is excellent, particularly by the standards of the legal writing genre (I am unaware of any fiction written by the man). More to the point, why on earth would you want to politicize this thread? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/authors-writers-creators-that-should-lose-the-right-to-write/244993.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/authors-writers-creators-that-should-lose-the-right-to-write/244993.md?page=5)