# Auto Fellatio - A guy at work said he can. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 11, 2002, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/auto-fellatio-a-guy-at-work-said-he-can/123445 "2002-08-11T23:30:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2002, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/auto-fellatio-a-guy-at-work-said-he-can/123445/21 "2002-08-12T04:15:19Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mudshark \* > \*\*Auto fellatio? What kind of person gives head to a car? \*\* > [@](#): > > \*\*A curious doper might type “auto fellatio” in Google and see what kind of sites come up. > > Your question might be answered. Your appetite for dinner might be curbed. > > \*\* An even curiouser doper might type “sex with a car” in Google and see what kind of sites come up. :eek: Happy ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2002, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/auto-fellatio-a-guy-at-work-said-he-can/123445/22 "2002-08-12T04:19:13Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by AmbushBug \* > \*\* > > Therefore, that member of your staff, must have a staff for a member. > > -AmbushBug > [sub]raising the tone of the board since 1969[/sub] \*\* You get the best sig award for tonight bug boy. > [@](#): > > -AmbushBug > raising the tone of the board since 1969 ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2002, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/auto-fellatio-a-guy-at-work-said-he-can/123445/23 "2002-08-12T04:27:38Z")
Oh… and here is the link [Is It Possible To Give Yourself Oral Sex?](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=99254&highlight=autofellatio) ---
**Author:** ![Skeezix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/839c29/32.png) [@Skeezix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skeezix)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2002, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/auto-fellatio-a-guy-at-work-said-he-can/123445/24 "2002-08-12T04:33:49Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by **cykrider** _ > **A guy at a party did it as a “party trick”…** and then… > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by **TVGuy** _ > **in my, um, experience, it’s really been a matter of a very flexible back and … er … how do you say this politely … um, "magnitude"** [Dr. Klan] We were honored by his presence. He was a party guest of extra-ordinary magnitude… [/Dr. Klan] [sub]Sorry. Couldn’t stop that one from slipping out…[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![stofsky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dfb087/32.png) [@stofsky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stofsky)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2002, 11:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/auto-fellatio-a-guy-at-work-said-he-can/123445/25 "2002-08-12T11:35:09Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Cartooniverse \* > \*\* > > \*\*The reports were reliable. > > He was just that pliable. > > His length was undeniable. > > His position was unassailable, > > He is clearly self-impaleable. > > However-being married- he was unavailable.\*\* > > 😃 > > Cartooniverse \*\* And if you sing this to the tune of Robert Palmer’s “Simply Irresistable,” make sure you have the Brillo & Clorox to scrub it from your brain. ---
**Author:** ![Koffing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/898d66/32.png) [@Koffing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Koffing)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2002, 11:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/auto-fellatio-a-guy-at-work-said-he-can/123445/26 "2002-08-12T11:43:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ezra\_brooks \* > \*\*If he can, why does he leave home? \*\* I’ve said this repeatedly. If I could that, I’d never leave the house again. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2002, 11:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/auto-fellatio-a-guy-at-work-said-he-can/123445/27 "2002-08-12T11:47:41Z")
If he swallows, is that considered recycling? ---
**Author:** ![Feynn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ecb155/32.png) [@Feynn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Feynn)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2002, 12:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/auto-fellatio-a-guy-at-work-said-he-can/123445/28 "2002-08-12T12:39:37Z")
I thik it’s a nasty rumour, if the guy was able to do you you think he’d ever leave the house? Damn you Stofsky… I’m out of Clorox. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2002, 12:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/auto-fellatio-a-guy-at-work-said-he-can/123445/29 "2002-08-12T12:59:58Z")
Okay, time for a \*\* Mad About You \*\* moment: Paul has to go to Fran’s kid’s school recital cause Fran is his wife’s best friend. As Paul is waiting to leave, Murray the dog starts licking himself. The studio audience goes nuts, Paul Reisser stares at the dog with huge eyes, looks around, then turns back into Paul Buchman as he delivers the perfect line: \*\* If I could do what you’re doing, I wouldn’t have to go out tonight. \*\* ---
**Author:** ![Martiju](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e8c25b/32.png) [@Martiju](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martiju)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2002, 1:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/auto-fellatio-a-guy-at-work-said-he-can/123445/30 "2002-08-12T13:12:09Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Annie-Xmas \* > \*\*Okay, time for a \*\* Mad About You \*\* moment: Paul has to go to Fran’s kid’s school recital cause Fran is his wife’s best friend. As Paul is waiting to leave, Murray the dog starts licking himself. The studio audience goes nuts, Paul Reisser stares at the dog with huge eyes, looks around, then turns back into Paul Buchman as he delivers the perfect line: > > \*\* If I could do what you’re doing, I wouldn’t have to go out tonight. \*\* \*\* I guess the dog wouldn’t let him then…? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Corrvin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bbce88/32.png) [@Corrvin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Corrvin)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2002, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/auto-fellatio-a-guy-at-work-said-he-can/123445/31 "2002-08-12T16:57:02Z")
> [@](#): > > …he then walked into the bedroom with 2 [women]… > [@](#): > > Why would a straight male (and not presuming the guy you know is) want to do this? The general reaction I’ve seen is along the lines of “because he can.” I direct you to the above answer, which is NOT “because he can”…c’mon, now, you KNEW the answer was really “because chicks dig it.” Or something. Uhm. Pay no attention to the Polaroids in the locked case… Corr (who has nothing to reciprocate with but the ability to lick her own nipples) ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2002, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/auto-fellatio-a-guy-at-work-said-he-can/123445/32 "2002-08-12T17:20:41Z")
Why would chicks dig this? It completely removes them from the equation! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Clever\_Hans](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a9a28c/32.png) [@Clever\_Hans](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clever_Hans)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2002, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/auto-fellatio-a-guy-at-work-said-he-can/123445/33 "2002-08-12T17:51:41Z")
Maybe that is exactly why. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2002, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/auto-fellatio-a-guy-at-work-said-he-can/123445/34 "2002-08-12T18:09:12Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Corrvin_ > **lick her own nipples** The four magic words. Happy, 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Kal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9de053/32.png) [@Kal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kal)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2002, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/auto-fellatio-a-guy-at-work-said-he-can/123445/35 "2002-08-12T18:42:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by dantheman \* > **Why would chicks dig this?** Being able to lick your own eyebrows, now _that’s_ a talent that’ll get you some action! ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2002, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/auto-fellatio-a-guy-at-work-said-he-can/123445/36 "2002-08-12T18:52:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Clever Hans \* > \*\*Maybe that is exactly why. \*\* Ah! So if a guy tells a girl, “hey, I can fellate myself!” the girl’s natural reaction might be, “Ooooooh! Let me see! Sure beats doing it myself!” Quick poll of the ladies: If a guy told you this, would you be intrigued (sexually or not), or would you run away screaming in terror? 😃 **Kal** : > [@](#): > > Being able to lick your own eyebrows, now that’s a talent that’ll get you some action! So would breathing through your ears. 🙂 Then again, if he had the ability to lick his own eyebrows and was trying to impress the women, I’d think he’d be more likely to just lick his own eyebrows, as opposed to fellating himself… ---
**Author:** ![Kal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9de053/32.png) [@Kal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kal)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2002, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/auto-fellatio-a-guy-at-work-said-he-can/123445/37 "2002-08-12T20:15:55Z")
**Dan** : That’s what I was kinda getting at 🙂 To quote the joke: > [@](#): > > "I dont know what it was about the guy - he just sat in the corner licking his eyebrows and women were hanging off him… ---
**Author:** ![slortar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6bbea6/32.png) [@slortar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slortar)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2002, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/auto-fellatio-a-guy-at-work-said-he-can/123445/38 "2002-08-12T20:20:07Z")
Not surprising. I tell my coworkers they can do that all the time. ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2002, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/auto-fellatio-a-guy-at-work-said-he-can/123445/39 "2002-08-12T20:51:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Happy Lendervedder \* > :eek: > > Happy I’m hoping you signed with your name here… ---
**Author:** ![handy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2002, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/auto-fellatio-a-guy-at-work-said-he-can/123445/40 "2002-08-12T22:28:30Z")
Hmmm, I once tried Auto Fellatio, but burned my lips on the exhaust pipe. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/auto-fellatio-a-guy-at-work-said-he-can/123445.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/auto-fellatio-a-guy-at-work-said-he-can/123445.md?page=3)