# Auto Fellatio - A guy at work said he can. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 11, 2002, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/auto-fellatio-a-guy-at-work-said-he-can/123445 "2002-08-11T23:30:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2002, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/auto-fellatio-a-guy-at-work-said-he-can/123445/41 "2002-08-12T23:19:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by iampunha \* > > ## [sub]quote:[/sub] > > _Originally posted by Happy Lendervedder_ > > :eek: > > ## Happy > > \*\*I’m hoping you signed with your name here… \*\* As opposed to a self-portrait of me attempting to self-fellate? No, that would look more like this: :o 😛 ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Horseflesh](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/horseflesh/32/7502_2.png) [@Horseflesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horseflesh)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2002, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/auto-fellatio-a-guy-at-work-said-he-can/123445/42 "2002-08-13T00:24:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Annie-Xmas \* > \*\*Okay, time for a \*\* Mad About You \*\* moment: Paul has to go to Fran’s kid’s school recital cause Fran is his wife’s best friend. As Paul is waiting to leave, Murray the dog starts licking himself. The studio audience goes nuts, Paul Reisser stares at the dog with huge eyes, looks around, then turns back into Paul Buchman as he delivers the perfect line: > > \*\* If I could do what you’re doing, I wouldn’t have to go out tonight. \*\* \*\* I think I first heard George Carlin in one of his early HBO specials use this line. I once told a friend that he had a spot of mustard right about where his cheekbone was. He then stuck his tongue out lizard-like and _licked_ it off (the mustard). It was apparent he could reach farther than that if he wanted to. Another friend and I just looked at each other for about five minutes after witnessing this. Isn’t there a fairly amusing scene in _Clerks_ where Randall gets Dante to admit he’s tried self-fellatio? I think Randall details a story about a guy that broke his back trying it. ---
**Author:** ![SmackFu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/53a042/32.png) [@SmackFu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmackFu)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2002, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/auto-fellatio-a-guy-at-work-said-he-can/123445/43 "2002-08-13T01:11:43Z")
DANTE: I could never reach. RANDAL: Reach what? DANTE: You know. RANDAL: What, your dick? DANTE: Yeah. Like you said, you know. I guess everyone tries it, sooner of later. RANDAL: I never tried it. DANTE glares at RANDAL. Silence. Then… RANDAL: Fucking pervert. ---
**Author:** ![Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c77e96/32.png) [@Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Speaker_for_the_Dead)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2002, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/auto-fellatio-a-guy-at-work-said-he-can/123445/44 "2002-08-13T01:42:38Z")
**Lendervedder** , that portrait was disturbingly accurate :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2002, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/auto-fellatio-a-guy-at-work-said-he-can/123445/45 "2002-08-13T03:18:18Z")
Well, I would think that licking one’s eyebrows would demonstrate the length and flexibility of one’s tongue, soooo… Anyhoo, self-fellatio sounds dangerous to me. A good way to throw your back out, or give yourself whiplash, etc. ---
**Author:** ![Krisfer\_the\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Krisfer\_the\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Krisfer_the_Cat)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2002, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/auto-fellatio-a-guy-at-work-said-he-can/123445/46 "2002-08-13T04:11:59Z")
Am I the only one who thinks fellate sounds just wee to close to fillet… especially when pronounced by my redneck relations…:eek: ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2002, 12:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/auto-fellatio-a-guy-at-work-said-he-can/123445/47 "2002-08-13T12:51:07Z")
WHAT? AND NOBODY HAS COME UP WITH THE CLASSIC YET?? Q: Why do dogs lick their balls? A: Because they can ---
**Author:** ![handy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2002, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/auto-fellatio-a-guy-at-work-said-he-can/123445/48 "2002-08-13T15:00:34Z")
Tastes like chicken. Don’t ask my how I know that. But aren’t there any women who can do this to themselves? I have seen women doing yoga & it would seem to be possible. ---
**Author:** ![Judith\_Prietht](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b19c9b/32.png) [@Judith\_Prietht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Judith_Prietht)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2002, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/auto-fellatio-a-guy-at-work-said-he-can/123445/49 "2002-08-13T18:54:30Z")
In response to the poll, I would be totally intrigued if a guy informed me they possessed this skill of skills. I can also stand by to perform the Heimlich maneuver if he chokes. "Don’t you know that you are a shooting star Don’t you know Don’t you know that you are a shooting star And all the world will love you Just as long, as long as you are . . . " ---
**Author:** ![Morgainelf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Morgainelf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgainelf)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2002, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/auto-fellatio-a-guy-at-work-said-he-can/123445/50 "2002-08-13T19:50:16Z")
**SmackFu** beat me to it! Actually, I have witnessed this first hand. It is strangely hot. **TVGuy** is right - flexible back, rather well endowed, and not much distance between head and…um…head. ---
**Author:** ![\_etalhea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/_/779978/32.png) [@\_etalhea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/_etalhea)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2002, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/auto-fellatio-a-guy-at-work-said-he-can/123445/51 "2002-08-13T20:12:54Z")
I have a massive porn collection, and I’m always looking for weird stuff to add. I have several pictures of this particular act. One guy is using a staircase to help him acheive the desired position. Another guy is just sitting in a regular office chair, he looks like he’s made of rubber or something. Incidently, these are NOT fakes. I’ve had considerable experince spotting fakes, and these are genuine. I’ve thrown out several that were obviously doctored. Curiously, the only picture of a woman attempting auto-fellatio WAS a fake. I guess it’s just not anatomically possible. ---
**Author:** ![handy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2002, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/auto-fellatio-a-guy-at-work-said-he-can/123445/52 "2002-08-13T23:02:06Z")
It’s pretty easy to do. I read recently in some women’s magazine (Cosmo Jr?) that about 28% of the guys have tried to do it. ---
**Author:** ![amarone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e0b2c6/32.png) [@amarone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amarone)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2002, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/auto-fellatio-a-guy-at-work-said-he-can/123445/53 "2002-08-14T03:34:38Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by //\etalhea|) \* > \*\*Curiously, the only picture of a woman attempting auto-fellatio WAS a fake. I guess it’s just not anatomically possible. \*\* Sure isn’t. Auto-cunnilingus might be, though. ---
**Author:** ![Darkrabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3be4f8/32.png) [@Darkrabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darkrabbit)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2002, 5:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/auto-fellatio-a-guy-at-work-said-he-can/123445/54 "2002-08-14T05:38:03Z")
I could do this in High School … difficult to enjoy myself since I couldn’t breathe while doing it. **darkrabbit** ---
**Author:** ![Blalron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/35a633/32.png) [@Blalron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blalron)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2002, 6:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/auto-fellatio-a-guy-at-work-said-he-can/123445/55 "2002-08-14T06:23:19Z")
> [@](#): > > guys, if you could blow yourselves, ladies, you’d be in this room alone right now. Watching an empty stage. Nope. I used to be one of those lucky 3% in my younger more flexible days. You know how when you try to tickle yourself it’s just not the same experience as when someone else is tickling you? The same principle works here. ---
**Author:** ![parameciumcilia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7c8e57/32.png) [@parameciumcilia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/parameciumcilia)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2018, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/auto-fellatio-a-guy-at-work-said-he-can/123445/56 "2018-08-23T14:12:00Z")
The last post on this thread was from '02. I tried to suck myself when I was a teen. Almost made it, I could get the tip between my teeth, but the strain on my lower back was too much to take, so I gave up. I fantasize about it a lot, would love to get my cock in my mouth. I am not attracted to men. I love femininity. I love watching the Trans Women on Chaturbate. A girl cock would be great! It would be so easy to suck a girl cock! ---
**Author:** ![Projammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/projammer/32/559_2.png) [@Projammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Projammer)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2018, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/auto-fellatio-a-guy-at-work-said-he-can/123445/57 "2018-08-23T14:38:09Z")
Zombie fellatio. Nothing like it. Fortunately. ---
**Author:** ![BobLibDem](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/boblibdem/32/3149_2.png) [@BobLibDem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobLibDem)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2018, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/auto-fellatio-a-guy-at-work-said-he-can/123445/58 "2018-08-23T15:01:49Z")
Does he lie to himself and say he won’t come in his mouth? ---
**Author:** ![Slash1972](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slash1972/32/6461_2.png) [@Slash1972](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slash1972)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2018, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/auto-fellatio-a-guy-at-work-said-he-can/123445/59 "2018-08-23T16:40:08Z")
> [@parameciumcilia](#): > > The last post on this thread was from '02. I tried to suck myself when I was a teen. Almost made it, I could get the tip between my teeth, but the strain on my lower back was too much to take, so I gave up. I fantasize about it a lot, would love to get my cock in my mouth. I am not attracted to men. I love femininity. I love watching the Trans Women on Chaturbate. A girl cock would be great! It would be so easy to suck a girl cock! I would say “Damn, that escalated quickly” but it was 16 years in coming. ---
**Author:** ![Sunny\_Daze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunny_daze/32/438_2.png) [@Sunny\_Daze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunny_Daze)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2018, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/auto-fellatio-a-guy-at-work-said-he-can/123445/60 "2018-08-23T16:49:26Z")
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