# Avast me hearties! Prepare for boarding! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 23, 2005, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/avast-me-hearties-prepare-for-boarding/323047 "2005-09-23T13:59:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Draelin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce73a5/32.png) [@Draelin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Draelin)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2005, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/avast-me-hearties-prepare-for-boarding/323047/21 "2005-09-23T14:52:26Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > What else? Ooo! A name for our ship! Suggestions? Something about Water Nymphs. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2005, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/avast-me-hearties-prepare-for-boarding/323047/22 "2005-09-23T14:53:36Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > **Malacandra** , we’re a bunch of hot female pirates! We be havin’ all the luck we need! Just as ye like! \*paddles determinedly out of harbour in a small rowing boat, intermittently baling with an old saucepan and wagging his head dubiously. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2005, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/avast-me-hearties-prepare-for-boarding/323047/23 "2005-09-23T14:55:21Z")
How about “The Bloody Rag” ---
**Author:** ![SnakesCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4af34b/32.png) [@SnakesCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SnakesCatLady)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2005, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/avast-me-hearties-prepare-for-boarding/323047/24 "2005-09-23T15:01:37Z")
Can I be Second Mate? I volunteer to truss **Inigo Montoya** to keelhaul him for that last comment. I’ll also take care of the ship’s cat. There has to be a ship’s cat. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2005, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/avast-me-hearties-prepare-for-boarding/323047/25 "2005-09-23T15:04:29Z")
\*drops a large cannonball into \*_Malacandra’s \*\* boat, causing a huge hole_ Right! Now that that’s done, on to business! Second Mate **Snakescatlady** , no keelhauling our concubines! But truss him up, we’ll come up with an alternate punishment for him. _evil grin_ And we can have a cat, but arrr, I want a bird! A great big parrot! Aye! We needs us a WeaponsMaster! Volunteers? ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2005, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/avast-me-hearties-prepare-for-boarding/323047/26 "2005-09-23T15:07:52Z")
Heh… \*recovers from his brief astonishment at seeing **Anaamika** manage to pick up a _large_ cannonball, grabs the brace and bit, and swims underneath the ship of fools… ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2005, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/avast-me-hearties-prepare-for-boarding/323047/27 "2005-09-23T15:08:11Z")
> [@Draelin](#): > > Something about Water Nymphs. 😃 \*The Moist Tart (with a Sword). \* 😃 > [@anaamika](#): > > Quickie, we don’t have time for you! \ Didn’t want to play your stupid game anyway… \ ☹ ---
**Author:** ![SnakesCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4af34b/32.png) [@SnakesCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SnakesCatLady)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2005, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/avast-me-hearties-prepare-for-boarding/323047/28 "2005-09-23T15:09:22Z")
Rats. I never get to have any fun. ::finishes trussing **Inigo Montoya**. Do you have a color or species preference for your parrot, Captain Ma’am? ---
**Author:** ![Draelin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce73a5/32.png) [@Draelin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Draelin)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2005, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/avast-me-hearties-prepare-for-boarding/323047/29 "2005-09-23T15:11:53Z")
> [@QuickSilver](#): > > \ Didn’t want to play your stupid game anyway… \ ☹ Well, I wouldn’t mind a look at the booty, but I’m sure as hell not going to ask politely. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2005, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/avast-me-hearties-prepare-for-boarding/323047/30 "2005-09-23T15:13:02Z")
I wants me a whole aviary so I can choose every day. Second Mate, feel free to keelhaul **Malacandra** , if you can catch that flighty little bird. **Quickie** , no prima donnas! You can only board as our servant. ---
**Author:** ![Elza\_B](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Elza\_B](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elza_B)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2005, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/avast-me-hearties-prepare-for-boarding/323047/31 "2005-09-23T15:15:53Z")
> [@QuickSilver](#): > > \ Didn’t want to play your stupid game anyway… \ ☹ Can you sing? Give me a quick rendition of “Climb Ev’ry Mountain”, and a kick-step-turn-shuffle, and we’ll see if you’re good enough for the Matey Chorus Line. E. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2005, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/avast-me-hearties-prepare-for-boarding/323047/32 "2005-09-23T15:16:41Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > **Quickie** , no prima donnas! You can only board as our servant. 😃 Kewl!!! Can I wear my kilt? ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2005, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/avast-me-hearties-prepare-for-boarding/323047/33 "2005-09-23T15:17:54Z")
\*underneath the hull, briskly boring a hole below the waterline, and figuring on not being especially easy to catch. You could have been nice about this, ye know… ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2005, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/avast-me-hearties-prepare-for-boarding/323047/34 "2005-09-23T15:19:44Z")
> [@QuickSilver](#): > > 😃 Kewl!!! > > Can I wear my kilt? Hell yeah. Add another to the concubine list! What the HELL is Malacandra doing down there? STOP HIM! ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2005, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/avast-me-hearties-prepare-for-boarding/323047/35 "2005-09-23T15:20:37Z")
> [@Elza B](#): > > Can you sing? > > Give me a quick rendition of “Climb Ev’ry Mountain”, and a kick-step-turn-shuffle, and we’ll see if you’re good enough for the Matey Chorus Line. > > E. I’m a little foggy on that one, but I know every word to “I’m a lumberjack”. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Greenback](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/2bfe46/32.png) [@Greenback](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Greenback)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2005, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/avast-me-hearties-prepare-for-boarding/323047/36 "2005-09-23T15:24:22Z")
I hear say that women in power prefer to be controlled sexually. I volunteer to take the cap’n over my knee… Don’t worry, I won’t bite…unless you want me to. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2005, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/avast-me-hearties-prepare-for-boarding/323047/37 "2005-09-23T15:24:56Z")
:: lurking below decks, finds huge, wet hole in the hull below the waterline, looks over each shoulder, plugs hole, sighs :: ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2005, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/avast-me-hearties-prepare-for-boarding/323047/38 "2005-09-23T15:26:15Z")
\*surfaces under the upturned shell of his holed and sinking rowing boat, and peers out from his place of concealment as the Good Ship Whateverthegirliesweregoingtocallit begins to settle in the water. ---
**Author:** ![Draelin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce73a5/32.png) [@Draelin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Draelin)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2005, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/avast-me-hearties-prepare-for-boarding/323047/39 "2005-09-23T15:30:33Z")
_magically fixes the ship_ This is what sorceresses do. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2005, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/avast-me-hearties-prepare-for-boarding/323047/40 "2005-09-23T15:35:28Z")
:: From below decks :: YYYYYEEEEEEOOOOOOWWWWW!!! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/avast-me-hearties-prepare-for-boarding/323047.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/avast-me-hearties-prepare-for-boarding/323047.md?page=3)