# Avatards **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 5, 2010, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/avatards/556161 "2010-10-05T19:22:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 13
**Author:** ![FoieGrasIsEvil](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foiegrasisevil/32/16638_2.png) [@FoieGrasIsEvil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FoieGrasIsEvil)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2010, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/avatards/556161/241 "2010-10-07T23:22:33Z")
> [@bucketybuck](#): > > Christ on a floor mounted dildo I want this as my avatar if we ever get them. Anyone have a link? ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2010, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/avatards/556161/242 "2010-10-07T23:28:21Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#): > > > [@jsgoddess](#): > > > > But some of you people clutch the board to your breasties like anti-vaxxer mommies protecting their children. > > In the interest of maintaining an accurate vilification chart, are these anti-vaxxers the same posters who’d deny gays the right to marry and women the right to vote, or a different group? I just find it rather funny that when it comes to what happens on this board, all of a sudden your gut reaction and Starving Artist-like dedication to tradition trumps all. It’s extraordinarily like talking about gay marriage. Somehow, in some mysterious way, Something Bad Will Happen. There is reliance on tradition, on elevating gut feelings above reason, on ignoring evidence, etc. There’s an end result you want, so you scrape around for reasons to justify it and end up sounding more than slightly demented and desperate. There is nothing special about tradition. _Tradition isn’t an argument_. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2010, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/avatards/556161/243 "2010-10-07T23:32:38Z")
> [@Tibbytoes](#): > > Think of the anticipatory thrill of lurking in your avatar assignment thread, anxiously awaiting the various avatars your peers offer up for you. Sure, you can champion some, discourage others, but in the end, your pleas will carry little sway—if a majority of Dopers think, say, a wilted penis represents you most accurately, a wilted penis avatar you will be assigned. It’s downright democratic. You fuckers would give me a kitten when I wanted the wilted penis, wouldn’t you? ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2010, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/avatards/556161/244 "2010-10-07T23:34:22Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#): > > > [@Tibbytoes](#): > > > > Well….no, but I thought it would be advantageous for me to at least give the appearance of benevolence and let you believe you have a say in the matter (I am,after all,campaigning for a Mother Theresa-ish type avatar). > > I actually somewhat prefer your idea, because there’s at least a chance it would lead to a “mutually assured destruction” scenario where nobody would post anything too cutesy or obnoxious for fear of instantaneous and catastrophic reprisal. Yes, because when I think of catastrophic reprisals, I immediately think of someone giving me an avatar I don’t like. You… you FIENDS. ---
**Author:** ![Tibby](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tibby/32/17030_2.png) [@Tibby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tibby)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2010, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/avatards/556161/245 "2010-10-07T23:34:52Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#): > > > [@Tibbytoes](#): > > > > Well….no, but I thought it would be advantageous for me to at least give the appearance of benevolence and let you believe you have a say in the matter (I am,after all,campaigning for a Mother Theresa-ish type avatar). > > I actually somewhat prefer your idea, because there’s at least a chance it would lead to a “mutually assured destruction” scenario where nobody would post anything too cutesy or obnoxious for fear of instantaneous and catastrophic reprisal. **Vinyl Turnip** , by agreeing with me, you demonstrate exceptional foresight and state-of-the-art cogitative ability—I therefore submit [this](http://blogs.edweek.org/edweek/thisweekineducation/upload/2007/10/the_genius_behind_teach_for_am/genius.gif) avatar to be considered for assignment to you. You’re welcome ---
**Author:** ![begbert2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/begbert2/32/3357_2.png) [@begbert2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/begbert2)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2010, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/avatards/556161/246 "2010-10-07T23:37:31Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#): > > > [@Tibbytoes](#): > > > > Well….no, but I thought it would be advantageous for me to at least give the appearance of benevolence and let you believe you have a say in the matter (I am,after all,campaigning for a Mother Theresa-ish type avatar). > > I actually somewhat prefer your idea, because there’s at least a chance it would lead to a “mutually assured destruction” scenario where nobody would post anything too cutesy or obnoxious for fear of instantaneous and catastrophic reprisal. It’d be like being able to pit people in every forum! Except the pitting would be permanent! About the only thing the plan is missing is to make it impossible for anyone to disable their view of the avatars. Well, that and mandating that all the avatars would have to be work-inappropriate. That would be good too. (Not that a mandate would likely be necessary.) ---
**Author:** ![Tibby](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tibby/32/17030_2.png) [@Tibby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tibby)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2010, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/avatards/556161/247 "2010-10-07T23:45:37Z")
> [@begbert2](#): > > > [@VinylTurnip](#): > > > > I actually somewhat prefer your idea, because there’s at least a chance it would lead to a “mutually assured destruction” scenario where nobody would post anything too cutesy or obnoxious for fear of instantaneous and catastrophic reprisal. > > It’d be like being able to pit people in every forum! Except the pitting would be permanent! \ You’re beginning to see the light! Welcome aboard, friend. ---
**Author:** ![Tibby](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tibby/32/17030_2.png) [@Tibby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tibby)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2010, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/avatards/556161/248 "2010-10-07T23:50:05Z")
> [@jsgoddess](#): > > > [@Tibbytoes](#): > > > > Think of the anticipatory thrill of lurking in your avatar assignment thread, anxiously awaiting the various avatars your peers offer up for you. Sure, you can champion some, discourage others, but in the end, your pleas will carry little sway—if a majority of Dopers think, say, a wilted penis represents you most accurately, a wilted penis avatar you will be assigned. It’s downright democratic. > > You fuckers would give me a kitten when I wanted the wilted penis, wouldn’t you? So…how YOU doin’ ? ---
**Author:** ![begbert2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/begbert2/32/3357_2.png) [@begbert2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/begbert2)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2010, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/avatards/556161/249 "2010-10-07T23:50:51Z")
> [@Tibbytoes](#): > > > [@begbert2](#): > > > > It’d be like being able to pit people in every forum! Except the pitting would be permanent! > > \ > > You’re beginning to see the light! Welcome aboard, friend. Aside from recognizing that that’s a really stupid plan, sure, I’m totally with you. I mean, it’s not like the real dicks and idiots around here don’t already _get_ reputations. All you’re doing is allowing the avatar-charged dicks and idiots to get all second-grader on other people, who are just as likely to be contributors as detractors. After all it’s not like we could trust the judgement of the avatar-charged dicks and idiots who would bother to get all into the catastrophic reprisal thing. ---
**Author:** ![SmartAleq](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smartaleq/32/163_2.png) [@SmartAleq](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmartAleq)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2010, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/avatards/556161/250 "2010-10-08T00:01:09Z")
> [@FoieGrasIsEvil](#): > > > [@bucketybuck](#): > > > > Christ on a floor mounted dildo > > I want this as my avatar if we ever get them. Anyone have a link? Well shit, go do a google dude! Go on, you can do it–and remember that safe search is for PUSSIES. ---
**Author:** ![Tibby](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tibby/32/17030_2.png) [@Tibby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tibby)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2010, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/avatards/556161/251 "2010-10-08T00:10:59Z")
> [@begbert2](#): > > > [@Tibbytoes](#): > > > > \ > > > > You’re beginning to see the light! Welcome aboard, friend. > > blah, blah, blah,… sure, I’m totally with you…blah, blah, blah [**begbert2**](http://www.thebcclan.com/forums/Smileys/default/PANTIES_IN_A_BUNCH.jpg), you’re over-thinking things. I get it…you’re on-board, but you feel like you should contribute something of substance in order to justify your inclusion. No need, really! Best for you to just…you know…be seen and not heard…and leave the thinking to people like me. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2010, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/avatards/556161/252 "2010-10-08T01:40:54Z")
> [@jsgoddess](#): > > > [@Tibbytoes](#): > > > > Think of the anticipatory thrill of lurking in your avatar assignment thread, anxiously awaiting the various avatars your peers offer up for you. Sure, you can champion some, discourage others, but in the end, your pleas will carry little sway—if a majority of Dopers think, say, a wilted penis represents you most accurately, a wilted penis avatar you will be assigned. It’s downright democratic. > > You fuckers would give me a kitten when I wanted the wilted penis, wouldn’t you? What about a kitten with a wilted penis? ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2010, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/avatards/556161/253 "2010-10-08T01:54:10Z")
I like the idea of assigning avatars to people (especially the people who are dead set against them). ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2010, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/avatards/556161/254 "2010-10-08T02:04:05Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > > [@jsgoddess](#): > > > > You fuckers would give me a kitten when I wanted the wilted penis, wouldn’t you? > > What about a kitten with a wilted penis? That’s just perverse. ---
**Author:** ![Peeta\_Mellark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/bc8723/32.png) [@Peeta\_Mellark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peeta_Mellark)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2010, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/avatards/556161/255 "2010-10-08T02:27:14Z")
> [@jsgoddess](#): > > > [@Guinastasia](#): > > > > What about a kitten with a wilted penis? > > That’s just perverse. It is. It’s perfect for **Guinastasia**. ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2010, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/avatards/556161/256 "2010-10-08T02:33:43Z")
> [@conway](#): > > > [@Inner\_Stickler](#): > > > > I apologize for my fucked up Kindergarten Cop movie analogy. It was offensive and inappropriate and I apologize. Please feel free to substitute Labyrinth and David Bowie’s Package. > > Too late. Your avatar will now be Arnold denying the existence of a tumor. Since Inner Stickler won’t be using it, can I have David Bowie’s package? ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2010, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/avatards/556161/257 "2010-10-08T03:00:48Z")
IF I CAN’T HAVE DAVID BOWIE’S PACKAGE NO ONE CAN _sets it on fire_ ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2010, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/avatards/556161/258 "2010-10-08T03:02:37Z")
> [@Inner\_Stickler](#): > > IF I CAN’T HAVE DAVID BOWIE’S PACKAGE NO ONE CAN > > _sets it on fire_ Y’all can fight over the package. I get the music. HAHA! ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2010, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/avatards/556161/259 "2010-10-08T03:37:03Z")
> [@Inner\_Stickler](#): > > IF I CAN’T HAVE DAVID BOWIE’S PACKAGE NO ONE CAN > > _sets it on fire_ I wonder if [this avatar](http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v220/Guinastasia/478331.jpg)would count as wishing death on people? (I predict a high number of LOTR icons) ---
**Author:** ![Quint](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/76d3ee/32.png) [@Quint](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quint)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2010, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/avatards/556161/260 "2010-10-08T04:57:24Z")
> [@Bosstone](#): > > > [@blondebear](#): > > > > I call dibs on Number 6. > > Number 6? I’m afraid I’m not familiar with that one. Not gonna read this whole tread, sorry if I’m fucking this up. “Well, that’s where we go a-ridin’ into town, a-whompin’ and a-whumpin’ every livin’ thing that moves within an inch of its life. Except the women folks, of course.” “You spare the women?” “Naw, we rape the shit out of them at the Number Six Dance later on.” “Marvelous!” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/avatards/556161.md?page=12) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/avatards/556161.md?page=14)