# AVN Awards! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 16, 2013, 5:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/avn-awards/674048 "2013-11-16T05:34:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![crypto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b3f665/32.png) [@crypto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/crypto)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2013, 5:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/avn-awards/674048/1 "2013-11-16T05:34:26Z")
So, i was flipping through the cable channels last night, and I stumbled on the AVN (Adult Video News) Awards. It is basically the “Oscars” for adult movies. The categories are a bit different, though. I didn’t watch too long, but I did happen to catch the announcement for “Best Anal Sex Scene”. After they listed the nominees, the winners were announced (sorry, didn’t catch the names), and the man and woman who performed the anal sex scene came up on stage for their award and to give their speech. The woman said something I never imagined I would hear, but in retrospect, it was spot on. She said “I would like to thank my asshole!..” She said something else, but i was laughing so hard, I missed it. So, in case you see this show in your cable line-up, you may want to watch it for a few moments. You never know what kind of classic speech you will hear! ---
**Author:** ![SandyHook](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dec6dc/32.png) [@SandyHook](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SandyHook)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2013, 6:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/avn-awards/674048/2 "2013-11-16T06:26:28Z")
Thanks for the heads up. I’ll be watching for the AVNs next year for sure. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2013, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/avn-awards/674048/3 "2013-11-16T16:27:08Z")
I watched one several years ago. They had one girl up there for best whatever scene. When she was giving her speech, she started to tear up “OMG this means so much to me…” I found that rather amusing. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2013, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/avn-awards/674048/4 "2013-11-16T19:02:57Z")
I know I am going to be sorry for asking - what were the categories? Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2013, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/avn-awards/674048/5 "2013-11-16T19:23:57Z")
> [@Shodan](#): > > I know I am going to be sorry for asking - what were the categories? > > Regards, > Shodan [Wiki link](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/AVN_Award) There’s a lot. To me, the most comical ones were “Best actor” and “Best supporting actor”. ---
**Author:** ![Shalmanese](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shalmanese](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shalmanese)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2013, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/avn-awards/674048/6 "2013-11-16T21:13:49Z")
It may disappoint you to know the AVN awards are widely considered to be rigged. ---
**Author:** ![TBG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c89c15/32.png) [@TBG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TBG)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2013, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/avn-awards/674048/7 "2013-11-16T23:54:15Z")
I misinterpreted the topic title, and now after reading the OP, I’m imagining the Angry Video Game Nerd hosting the porn awards. ---
**Author:** ![It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/it_s_not_rocket_surgery/32/312_2.png) [@It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/It_s_Not_Rocket_Surgery)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2013, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/avn-awards/674048/8 "2013-11-17T00:01:59Z")
> [@Shalmanese](#): > > It may disappoint you to know the AVN awards are widely considered to be rigged. Damn! Stiffed again! ---
**Author:** ![crypto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b3f665/32.png) [@crypto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/crypto)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2013, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/avn-awards/674048/9 "2013-11-17T00:06:22Z")
> [@Shalmanese](#): > > It may disappoint you to know the AVN awards are widely considered to be rigged. How so? > [@It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](#): > > Damn! Stiffed again! Rim shot! (Uh… No, wait.) ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2013, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/avn-awards/674048/10 "2013-11-17T01:37:04Z")
> [@Stink Fish Pot](#): > > “Best Anal Sex Scene” One wonders how this is determined. 😕 What channel was this on, anyway? Not that I get it, or would want to watch it if I did; I’m just curious. ---
**Author:** ![Esox\_Lucius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/848f3c/32.png) [@Esox\_Lucius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esox_Lucius)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2013, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/avn-awards/674048/11 "2013-11-17T02:23:14Z")
> [@Stink Fish Pot](#): > > She said “I would like to thank my asshole!..” You can’t teach that kind of talent. You have to be born with it. ---
**Author:** ![crypto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b3f665/32.png) [@crypto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/crypto)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2013, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/avn-awards/674048/12 "2013-11-17T02:45:14Z")
> [@nearwildheaven](#): > > One wonders how this is determined. 😕 > > What channel was this on, anyway? Not that I get it, or would want to watch it if I did; I’m just curious. I believe it was Showtime. It was a pay movie channel, and it was uncensored as far as i could tell. I didn’t watch it too long, not because I objected to the program, but because it was both funny and sad at the same time listening to people accept their awards. They seriously think that this show is the porn equivalent to the Oscars. Which, i guess awards-wise, it is. But the production value of the show is similar to what you’d expect in a porn movie. And the people who win are so overcome with emotion sometimes it’s impossible to take it seriously. ---
**Author:** ![installLSC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/54ee81/32.png) [@installLSC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/installLSC)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2013, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/avn-awards/674048/13 "2013-11-17T04:48:43Z")
For an absolutely hysterical breakdown of the 2010 AVN awards, [check out sitcom writer Ken Levine’s blog.](http://kenlevine.blogspot.com/2013/11/a-look-back-at-great-awards-show.html) (Do I need to mention it’s very NSFW?) ---
**Author:** ![Fubaya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c2a13f/32.png) [@Fubaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fubaya)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2013, 5:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/avn-awards/674048/14 "2013-11-17T05:05:36Z")
I hope the winner of this years Best Double Anal isn’t as shitty as last year’s ---
**Author:** ![Happyasaclam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/7c8e57/32.png) [@Happyasaclam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happyasaclam)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2013, 6:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/avn-awards/674048/15 "2013-11-17T06:08:13Z")
> [@Fubaya](#): > > I hope the winner of this years Best Double Anal isn’t as shitty as last year’s (Winner, Winner, Chicken Dinner) 😃 ---
**Author:** ![\_Undecided\_Adrian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/_/eada6e/32.png) [@\_Undecided\_Adrian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/_Undecided_Adrian)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2013, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/avn-awards/674048/16 "2013-11-17T22:43:57Z")
I happen to be a fan of the Best Anal girl (non-porn work too!). Her name’s Asa Akira, and she is pretty hilarious on twitter [[QUOTE=twitter.com/AsaAkira](http://QUOTE=twitter.com/AsaAkira)] Google-imaged me Most photos are of my face What the fuck is this #haiku [/QUOTE] For an introduction, there’s [this podcast](http://www.deathsquad.tv/xxxsquad-11/), and she also has her own podcast together with facebook-artist millionaire David Choe [dvdasa.com](http://www.dvdasa.com/) ---
**Author:** ![actualliberalnotoneofthose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e79b87/32.png) [@actualliberalnotoneofthose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/actualliberalnotoneofthose)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2013, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/avn-awards/674048/17 "2013-11-18T05:10:08Z")
I think I’ve only read one thing written by David Foster Wallace, and it was an article about attending the AVn awards. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2013, 5:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/avn-awards/674048/18 "2013-11-18T05:42:56Z")
Winner for Best Midget Porn: “I’d like to thank all the little people.” ---
**Author:** ![aceplace57](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aceplace57/32/3500_2.png) [@aceplace57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aceplace57)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2013, 7:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/avn-awards/674048/19 "2013-11-18T07:42:44Z")
The better performers have basic acting skills. Porn isn’t just about the sex. Anybody can just lie there while some stud gets busy. A great performance makes the viewers think this girl wants sex more than anything else in the world. The guy plugging her is the greatest lover ever. She always climaxs. That acting performance isn’t easy to do lying on a nasty mattress with a film crew standing around chewing gum and belching. Some triva. Why did early porn stars keep their socks on? The floors and carpets on the set were filthy. No one wanted to walk around barefoot. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2013, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/avn-awards/674048/20 "2013-11-18T15:38:17Z")
> [@Stink Fish Pot](#): > > She said “I would like to thank my asshole!..” Agents get mentioned in every acceptance speech, don’t they? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/avn-awards/674048.md?page=2)