# Avoiding a monkey's-paw-type wishing scenario. **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 30, 2017, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/avoiding-a-monkeys-paw-type-wishing-scenario/803182 "2017-11-30T20:28:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![md2000](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/73ab20/32.png) [@md2000](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/md2000)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2017, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/avoiding-a-monkeys-paw-type-wishing-scenario/803182/21 "2017-12-01T02:17:41Z")
There’s the joke about how twisted and jealous the Russian mindset can be… cannot let the neighbours get ahead of them. God appears to Ivan, says “Ivan, you have been a good and faithful servant to me all these years, so I am going to grant you one wish. But know that Boris next door has been a faithful servant too, so whatever you wish for, I will give him double.” Ivan thinks for a while, then says “O lord, take away one of my testicles!” ---
**Author:** ![wolfman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a8b319/32.png) [@wolfman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfman)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2017, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/avoiding-a-monkeys-paw-type-wishing-scenario/803182/22 "2017-12-01T03:03:33Z")
> [@Trinopus](#): > > My b.i.l. wasted several hours crafting an “unbreakable” contract for use in a D&D game. He was absolutely convinced that he had covered every possible loophole. One of my favorite things in D&D was to make benevolent wish granter. Everybody would go through an hour of lawyering the wish, and after it was granted be paranoid looking for the catch that didn’t exist. ---
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2017, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/avoiding-a-monkeys-paw-type-wishing-scenario/803182/23 "2017-12-01T03:47:17Z")
> [@OldGuy](#): > > I wish to be happy? [Oh?](http://www.smbc-comics.com/comic/happy) ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2017, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/avoiding-a-monkeys-paw-type-wishing-scenario/803182/24 "2017-12-01T03:52:24Z")
Why is it called “monkey’s paw”? ---
**Author:** ![snfaulkner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snfaulkner/32/433_2.png) [@snfaulkner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snfaulkner)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2017, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/avoiding-a-monkeys-paw-type-wishing-scenario/803182/25 "2017-12-01T03:54:03Z")
> [@Senegoid](#): > > Why is it called “monkey’s paw”? Based on the [short story](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Monkey%27s_Paw). ---
**Author:** ![Arkcon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/96bed5/32.png) [@Arkcon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arkcon)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2017, 10:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/avoiding-a-monkeys-paw-type-wishing-scenario/803182/26 "2017-12-01T10:55:06Z")
> [@md2000](#): > > There’s the joke about how twisted and jealous the Russian mindset can be… cannot let the neighbours get ahead of them. Or how petty divorcee’s can get – “Your ex-wife gets twice what you do” “Beat me half to death” ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2017, 12:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/avoiding-a-monkeys-paw-type-wishing-scenario/803182/27 "2017-12-01T12:30:19Z")
> [@Senegoid](#): > > Why is it called “monkey’s paw”? Not familiar with the short story, I can forgive. Not familiar with the [Simpsons](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sImvm5zJtLY) [skit](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CS5NkTR-JNU)? Never! ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2017, 1:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/avoiding-a-monkeys-paw-type-wishing-scenario/803182/28 "2017-12-01T13:27:10Z")
Then there was the stoner who asked the genie to roll him a joint of the best weed ever, that would replace itself as it was being burned. He took a single hit from the joint, was stoned af, yet the joint remained whole. When asked his second wish, of course the stoner asked for another magic joint. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2017, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/avoiding-a-monkeys-paw-type-wishing-scenario/803182/29 "2017-12-01T13:28:15Z")
> [@Arkcon](#): > > What’d the demon do? > > Or you know, tell me where I can read your story. It’s in a magazine you’d have a hard time finding. Contact me and I can send you a copy ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Miskatonic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mr.miskatonic/32/310_2.png) [@Mr.Miskatonic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Miskatonic)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2017, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/avoiding-a-monkeys-paw-type-wishing-scenario/803182/30 "2017-12-01T13:39:36Z")
This is why I throw away the Monkeys Paw and get myself a good old Bottle Imp. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2017, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/avoiding-a-monkeys-paw-type-wishing-scenario/803182/31 "2017-12-01T16:12:15Z")
> [@Darren\_Garrison](#): > > Not familiar with the short story, I can forgive. Not familiar with the [Simpsons](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sImvm5zJtLY) [skit](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CS5NkTR-JNU)? Never! Better sit down. That episode was broadcast twenty-six years ago. ---
**Author:** ![Buck\_Godot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/buck_godot/32/6573_2.png) [@Buck\_Godot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Buck_Godot)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2017, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/avoiding-a-monkeys-paw-type-wishing-scenario/803182/32 "2017-12-01T17:30:46Z")
Given my thirst for knowledge I’ve thought that this is probably how my 3 wishes would go. Wish 1: I wish for complete omniscient knowledge of everything in the universe. Wish 2: Oh my god its too much my mind can’t handle it, I wish to forget everything I learned since I started making wishes. Wish 3: 3rd Wish? What happened to the other two? Oh well my final wish will figure it out for me. I wish for complete omniscient knowledge of everything in the universe. ---
**Author:** ![A\_Dodgy\_Dude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a87d85/32.png) [@A\_Dodgy\_Dude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/A_Dodgy_Dude)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2017, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/avoiding-a-monkeys-paw-type-wishing-scenario/803182/33 "2017-12-01T19:40:47Z")
> [@Napier](#): > > If you like, there’s an old X Files episode partly about trying to write a wish to a genie whose wishers wind up regretting it. Scully enters. SCULLY What’s new? MULDER You don’t remember vanishing from the face of the earth for about 90 minutes this morning, do you? SCULLY (baffled) No. Mulder considers that answer for a few seconds. MULDER Well, then, I guess everything is okay. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2017, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/avoiding-a-monkeys-paw-type-wishing-scenario/803182/34 "2017-12-01T20:06:39Z")
> [@wolfman](#): > > One of my favorite things in D&D was to make benevolent wish granter. Everybody would go through an hour of lawyering the wish, and after it was granted be paranoid looking for the catch that didn’t exist. That’s pretty! I wish I’d thought of that! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2017, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/avoiding-a-monkeys-paw-type-wishing-scenario/803182/35 "2017-12-01T20:42:18Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > Better sit down. That episode was broadcast twenty-six years ago. Exactly–so everyone should have seen it at least 10-15 times by now! ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2017, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/avoiding-a-monkeys-paw-type-wishing-scenario/803182/36 "2017-12-02T00:40:39Z")
> [@brossa](#): > > I don’t mind the move or the inventive wishes of others, but I was actually looking for a factual answer to the question, which is whether wish-granting interactions, or any sort of interaction with a sufficiently powerful agent, are a problem that is considered in some established field, outside of fiction. Not that I know of, although that doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s not. But I think you’d need a more specific situation with clearer rules for how the wish-granter operates before it could be tackled as some sort of logical problem. Just speaking clearly and using plain, straightforward language might be enough to get what you want from a genie who’s hard of hearing (as is presumably the case in the 12-inch pianist joke) or a sort of Amelia Bedlia type genie who has a limited vocabulary and doesn’t understand idioms. But there’s probably no reasoning your way around a malicious supernatural entity that’s deliberately trying to screw you over. ---
**Author:** ![snfaulkner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snfaulkner/32/433_2.png) [@snfaulkner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snfaulkner)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2017, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/avoiding-a-monkeys-paw-type-wishing-scenario/803182/37 "2017-12-02T00:44:19Z")
> [@Darren\_Garrison](#): > > Exactly–so everyone should have seen it at least 10-15 times by now! 10-15 times _per year_ ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2017, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/avoiding-a-monkeys-paw-type-wishing-scenario/803182/38 "2017-12-02T02:43:44Z")
I think it was…Frederic Brown?..who wrote the short story where the woman wished that the wish-granting demon would fall hopelessly, deeply, and unselfishly, in love with her. That turned out pretty good for her. ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2017, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/avoiding-a-monkeys-paw-type-wishing-scenario/803182/39 "2017-12-02T02:44:55Z")
> [@Mr.Miskatonic](#): > > This is why I throw away the Monkeys Paw and get myself a good old Bottle Imp. Nice Imp you have there. I’ll give you two cents for him. ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2017, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/avoiding-a-monkeys-paw-type-wishing-scenario/803182/40 "2017-12-02T03:14:30Z")
I used to play this game ad infinitum with my cousins. I would be the leprechaun, and they would try to come up with a wish I couldn’t turn around on them. The only one I couldn’t skip was “Make my life better.” I could do it in an infinitesimal way “OK, here’s a piece of your favorite chewing gum” But I never found a way to really twist that one. My favorite was probably granting all the knowledge - with no comprehension. Rote knowledge only. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/avoiding-a-monkeys-paw-type-wishing-scenario/803182.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/avoiding-a-monkeys-paw-type-wishing-scenario/803182.md?page=3)