# AvP sucks. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [August 13, 2004, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/avp-sucks/259757 "2004-08-13T22:34:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2004, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/avp-sucks/259757/41 "2004-08-16T02:47:55Z")
> [@GuanoLad](#): > > But that’s what should happen. We want people to realise that backing movies made by talentless hacks should be discouraged, as they will not recoup your investment. One man with a sniper rifle can be a _lot_ more effective in a shorter period of time. ---
**Author:** ![Muad\_Dib](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/35a633/32.png) [@Muad\_Dib](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muad_Dib)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2004, 7:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/avp-sucks/259757/42 "2004-08-16T07:17:53Z")
> [@Tuckerfan](#): > > One man with a sniper rifle can be a _lot_ more effective in a shorter period of time. Don’t be stupid and crazy. I have been fantasizing more about a beating and carving a scarlet “H” in Anderson’s forehead. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2004, 7:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/avp-sucks/259757/43 "2004-08-16T07:33:25Z")
> [@GuanoLad](#): > > We want people to realise that backing movies made by talentless hacks should be discouraged, as they will not recoup your investment. The only way people will ‘realize’ that is if it stops being true. Which at least some of the time, it is. If the system didn’t work (for their aim), they wouldn’t stick with it. ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Carnage](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/max_carnage/32/12775_2.png) [@Max\_Carnage](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Carnage)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2004, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/avp-sucks/259757/44 "2004-08-16T15:57:07Z")
I thoroughly enjoyed it (despite the annoying humans in the way) and I’m going to go see it again tomorrow to make up for one of you who isn’t seeing it the first time. Then again I also liked the first Mortal Kombat, Resident Evil, and Event Horizon, so take that as you will. ---
**Author:** ![Mollie\_Magill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mollie_magill/32/20882_2.png) [@Mollie\_Magill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mollie_Magill)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2004, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/avp-sucks/259757/45 "2004-08-16T16:21:55Z")
Antarctic? But… but… I thought Predators liked heat. Ah well, I guess it’s a good thing I had no desire what so ever to see it. ---
**Author:** ![Scupper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Scupper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scupper)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2004, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/avp-sucks/259757/46 "2004-08-16T16:27:54Z")
This movie was stupid and goofy, but it was still better than _ **I, Robot** _. It had some great bits in it, even though it was extremely lacking overall. I was irritated by the fact that they could simply have lifted the plot of the comics with no effort and had a MUCH better story. Hell, they could have lifted the plot of AvP2 (the video game) and had a better film yet, but it would not have been cheap to make. Some parts of this, though, were surprisingly good (or at least entertainingly bad): You have to give them credit for the marvelous “HOLY S–T” expression on the predator’s face when the queen alien burst out of the ice. It was hysterical. The animation of the queen’s tail when she was about to skewer the predator was very good, as was the animation of the aliens when they climbed up the queen to free her. Anyone who complains about the aliens’ life cycle being sped up to a ridculous degree just doesn’t understand the situation. This is essentially a professional sport for the Predators. They’re obviously using some kind of Alien Doping. It’s a sad commentary on Predator society, but they obviously have no interest in the non-violent aspects of the alien life cycle. At least it didn’t open with a 2-minute commercial for JVC, Converse, and Federal Express, like _ **I, Robought** _. That was more excruciating and disgusting than any chestbursting/spineripping scene in any conceivable Predalien film. ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Lance\_Murdoch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/47e85d/32.png) [@Captain\_Lance\_Murdoch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Lance_Murdoch)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2004, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/avp-sucks/259757/47 "2004-08-16T16:37:57Z")
AvP sucks? Come on, next thing you’ll be telling me Yu-Gi-Oh is no good either. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2004, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/avp-sucks/259757/48 "2004-08-16T17:22:13Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > The bad reviews and word-of-mouth start catching up after the first weekend and the movie will probably make about half as much during the second weekend as it did the first. For the comparative record, box office for M. Night Shyamalan’s _The Sewage_ dropped by an analyst-stunning **67%** from first weekend to second. Now **that’s** bad word of mouth. ---
**Author:** ![stpauler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9d8465/32.png) [@stpauler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stpauler)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2004, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/avp-sucks/259757/49 "2004-08-16T17:33:47Z")
> [@MidnightRadio](#): > > You know, the other night, that movie was on one of the many HBOs we get on digital cable. I considered watching it out of morbid curiosity, but there was something else on that I was actually looking forward to seeing, so I didn’t. Has anyone seen it? What’s it like (as if I don’t already know)? I took a nap and woke up with it on HBO. (That’s not an excuse, it’s just what happened, I had the full power within me to change the channel at any point but didn’t). It was devestatingly dull. I watched it in hopes of making some good MST3K riffs off of it but it was rather impregnable. I blame that on the fact that the movie wasn’t bad, it was just extremely lame. To understand the difference, you’d have to suffer the movie. (Misery loves company 😉 )When the credits came, a great wave of shame sucked me out to sea. ---
**Author:** ![Muad\_Dib](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/35a633/32.png) [@Muad\_Dib](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muad_Dib)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2004, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/avp-sucks/259757/50 "2004-08-16T18:41:07Z")
> [@Max Carnage](#): > > I thoroughly enjoyed it (despite the annoying humans in the way) and I’m going to go see it again tomorrow to make up for one of you who isn’t seeing it the first time. > > Then again I also liked the first Mortal Kombat, Resident Evil, and Event Horizon, so take that as you will. You go to hell. You go to hell and die. ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2004, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/avp-sucks/259757/51 "2004-08-16T19:03:48Z")
> [@](#): > > This could have been so awesome! It should have been Aliens vs. Predators vs. Space Marines! That is what we all expected. I hadn’t quite thought of it in that way, but it could have sorta been _Starcraft: the Movie_, couldn’t it? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![slortar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6bbea6/32.png) [@slortar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slortar)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2004, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/avp-sucks/259757/52 "2004-08-16T20:01:00Z")
I walked in and expected to hate it. I was mildly entertained. No strong feelings either way. I kinda wanted the director to mess with more of the backstory, if only to torture the nerds. Like have a scene where the Millenium Flacon blows up the Enterprise. ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Carnage](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/max_carnage/32/12775_2.png) [@Max\_Carnage](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Carnage)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2004, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/avp-sucks/259757/53 "2004-08-16T20:37:49Z")
> [@Muad'Dib](#): > > You go to hell. > > You go to hell and die. Just for that I’m writing your name on my free AvP movie pass and seeing it in YOUR honor! ---
**Author:** ![1010011010](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/1/ea666f/32.png) [@1010011010](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/1010011010)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2004, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/avp-sucks/259757/54 "2004-08-16T23:19:39Z")
It really depends how you look at it. With no expectations beyond a PG-13 SciFi/Action flick, it’s actually not that bad. It’s not that good, but it’s not that bad. However, from the angle of “YES! THEY’RE FINALLY MAKING ALIENS V. PREDATOR!!! YES! YES! YES!” it’s… blasphemy. I can only hope they bring in someone who doesn’t suck for the sequel. ---
**Author:** ![Electronic\_Chaos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Electronic\_Chaos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Electronic_Chaos)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2004, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/avp-sucks/259757/55 "2004-08-16T23:41:16Z")
My thoughts: Not enough Alien vs. Predator action. Wayyyy too much humans trying to figure out what’s going. Oh and they needed to put the Predator chest burster in earlier. Imagine how cool that thing would’ve been. _drools_ But, alas, looks like they had to just throw that in so people would think “Oh boy a sequel!” ---
**Author:** ![Incubus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c68b51/32.png) [@Incubus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Incubus)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2004, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/avp-sucks/259757/56 "2004-08-17T00:09:26Z")
[spoiler] The thing I was disappointed about was how quickly the first two Predators got killed off. I know its a ‘rite of passage’ and that these Predators are neophytes in a sense, but even still its kind of anticlimactic to have the first one get killed 2 minutes into the pyramid. More points for the peeps who were rooting for the Aliens, I guess. Predator #2 (the one with the cool looking helmet) had a good run, but he probably would have survived if he didn’t drag the whole thing out so darn much. Yeah, I know they didn’t have their guns, and that probably put them at some disadvantage, but even still! ---
**Author:** ![El\_Elvis\_Rojo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/898d66/32.png) [@El\_Elvis\_Rojo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Elvis_Rojo)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2004, 6:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/avp-sucks/259757/57 "2004-08-17T06:04:29Z")
> [@slortar](#): > > I kinda wanted the director to mess with more of the backstory… Messed _MORE_ with the backstory? Unboxed spoilers ahead, because I’m about to rant… HE HAD THE PREDATORS ESSENTIALLY CREATE HUMAN CIVILIZATION!!! He killed off a character that’s alive in **Alien 3** , after rewritting him to be some dumb-ass philanthropist instead of the creator of a highly advanced android. The big underlying theme/fear of the **Alien** franchise is “What happens if these things ever make it to Earth?”, and he goes and claims that they’ve been on our planet once every hundred years for several thousand years!! And then leaves a QUEEN alive at the bottom of the ocean (the things can survive in space, I don’t think they drown, and there’s no way that chain is going to keep her tied down for long). This fucking movie sucked!!! I was horribly offended by this film and what it did with both franchises, and would gladly pay someone to beat Anderson’s teeth in with a brick. I will admit, there were some pretty cool visual aspects (the victory cry of the grid alien after killing the second pred; the alien face falling off; the queen hauling ass through the cavern; the laser sights passing through the pred), but there were so many other horrible moments that it just wasn’t worth it. The predators got taken out way too quickly, for starters. Two taken down by ONE xenomorph…I don’t think so. Even without their blasters, one alien would have been toast. The suped up life cycle of the aliens…what the fuck was up with THAT? (I agree with your first two points, **Scupper** , but that was bullshit). Charles Bishop Weyland…nuff said. And the worst…the absolute WORST!!! The xenomorph head shield. What the FUCK? That was the dumbest ass fuck out of everything. The bad writting, the bad dialogue, not a single good one liner, no good action involving the humans…and a fucking XENOMORPH HEAD SHIELD!!! The “Oh Shit” look on the predator’s face was pretty classic, but with all the “extra effort” put in to making the predator’s faces better, I thought it was the worst one I’d ever seen. The teeth and gums looked plastic, and the mandibles pulled open way too fast and straight. The original predator mask was fucking incredible, and the one from the second movie was even better. This face was a friggin’ let down. The only thing I liked about this one in the grand scheme of things was that the xenomorphs didn’t kill any of the humans. They captured them all, caccooned them, and let the face huggers do their work. It never really made sense to me for them to kill humans when, obviously, they don’t eat meat (what they do eat, I don’t think anyone has any idea). The scene with the queen being freed was pretty cool, too, but I don’t think that the drones would have harmed the queen. They’d either spit acid or bleed themselves, but whatever, the scene was still pretty cool. Overall, this movie was a let down, but I kinda suspected that. All I gotta say is that Bill Paxton had better be in the sequel (he was in **Aliens** and **Predator 2** , it’s only natural). ---
**Author:** ![slortar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6bbea6/32.png) [@slortar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slortar)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2004, 1:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/avp-sucks/259757/58 "2004-08-17T13:02:51Z")
> [@slortar](#): > > I kinda wanted the director to mess with more of the backstory, **if only to torture the nerds.** Like have a scene where the Millenium Flacon blows up the Enterprise. Feel tortured, Elvis? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Scupper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Scupper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scupper)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2004, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/avp-sucks/259757/59 "2004-08-17T17:50:43Z")
> [@El Elvis Rojo](#): > > The predators got taken out way too quickly, for starters. Two taken down by ONE xenomorph…I don’t think so. Even without their blasters, one alien would have been toast. The suped up life cycle of the aliens…what the fuck was up with THAT? (I agree with your first two points, **Scupper** , but that was bullshit). I should have put sarcastic smilies around that life cycle comment. I thought it was pretty stupid, too, but we were joking about it being like blood doping in sports. ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Carnage](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/max_carnage/32/12775_2.png) [@Max\_Carnage](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Carnage)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2004, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/avp-sucks/259757/60 "2004-08-19T15:06:17Z")
> [@El Elvis Rojo](#): > > He killed off a character that’s alive in **Alien 3** , after rewritting him to be some dumb-ass philanthropist instead of the creator of a highly advanced android. Bishop in Alien^3 was an android, too, if you’ll remember his ear coming off after getting hit. But that does bring up a good point. If Charles Bishop Weyland was the original and the face behind the androids, why would Ripley be tricked into thinking that he was alive and well? I wonder… Oh well. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/avp-sucks/259757.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/avp-sucks/259757.md?page=4)