# Awesome restaurant review **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [July 21, 2011, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awesome-restaurant-review/589849 "2011-07-21T14:18:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Mighty\_Girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7bcc69/32.png) [@Mighty\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mighty_Girl)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2011, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awesome-restaurant-review/589849/1 "2011-07-21T14:18:36Z")
The author practically eviscerates the restaurant and its employees. Very well-written and funny ([link](http://www.vanityfair.com/culture/features/2011/04/lami-louis-201104)). > [@](#): > > From Bill Clinton to Woody Allen, it seems every American (or Brit) visiting Paris on an expense account has the same favorite “Please don’t write about it” bistro: L’Ami Louis. Given its colonic décor, surly service, unbelievable food, and hefty bill, the restaurant is a true Gallic triumph. Yeah, expensive restaurants are not necessarily good. I have been a victim of that. ---
**Author:** ![Biffer\_Spice\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7ea924/32.png) [@Biffer\_Spice\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffer_Spice_1)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2011, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awesome-restaurant-review/589849/2 "2011-07-21T14:30:28Z")
that’s brilliant 🙂 i love the line where she doesn’t know which side of her meat to complain about 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Swords\_to\_Plowshares](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b38774/32.png) [@Swords\_to\_Plowshares](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swords_to_Plowshares)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2011, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awesome-restaurant-review/589849/3 "2011-07-21T15:06:58Z")
My favorite restaurant review is still Sam Sifton’s review of [Nello](http://www.nytimes.com/2010/04/14/dining/reviews/14rest.html) in NYC. > [@](#): > > Rage can overtake a person at Nello: the place is what used to be called a rip. (And the desserts are stale to boot.) But if $32 means nothing to you, if it is the equivalent of the dollar the rest of us can spend on a slice of pizza off Times Square, the restaurant is welcoming and the people-watching is nonpareil. There is nothing snobby about it at all, least of all the food. I was going to add some more quotes, but then realized I would have ended up quoting the whole review. ---
**Author:** ![I\_Know\_Nothing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/f04885/32.png) [@I\_Know\_Nothing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/I_Know_Nothing)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2011, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awesome-restaurant-review/589849/4 "2011-07-21T16:18:34Z")
My favorite: Snails=Dinosaur boogers. ---
**Author:** ![corkboard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@corkboard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/corkboard)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2011, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awesome-restaurant-review/589849/5 "2011-07-21T16:36:10Z")
This scatological passage alone sets the tone for what is evidently the shittiest restaurant in the city: > [@](#): > > It’s painted a shiny, distressed dung brown. The cramped tables are set with labially pink cloths, which give it a colonic appeal and the awkward sense that you might be a suppository. In the middle of the room is a stubby stove that also looks vaguely proctological. ---
**Author:** ![Infovore](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/infovore/32/420_2.png) [@Infovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infovore)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2011, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awesome-restaurant-review/589849/6 "2011-07-21T16:54:18Z")
I love this! 😃 > [@](#): > > Nothing I have eaten or heard of being eaten here prepared me for the arrival of the veal kidneys en brochette. Somehow the heat had welded them together into a gray, suppurating renal brick. It could be the result of an accident involving rat babies in a nuclear reactor. They don’t taste as nice as they sound. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2011, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awesome-restaurant-review/589849/7 "2011-07-21T17:33:06Z")
> [@](#): > > roast chicken like Bridget Bardot’s tits 😃 The entire 2nd paragraph is gold. If you ever happen to find yourself in Paris, indeed. “Hey, I’m trying to find Budapest. Can I take a shortcut through that city over there? Any good places for lunch there?” ---
**Author:** ![Ibanez](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a4c791/32.png) [@Ibanez](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ibanez)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2011, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awesome-restaurant-review/589849/8 "2011-07-22T00:14:26Z")
I love these types of reviews. I once had a bad experience in an up scale restaurant in Mt. Tremblant. A 40$ plate of bolognese, plate full of spaghetti with a ladel of bolognese sauce on it that disappeared into my spaghetti with two twists of the fork. Then I was basically eating a 40$ plate of spaghetti. The sauce tasted a week old and was bland no flavour at all and nothing close to a bolognese sauce. It was awful. Finest Italian eating my ass. ---
**Author:** ![Mighty\_Girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7bcc69/32.png) [@Mighty\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mighty_Girl)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2011, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awesome-restaurant-review/589849/9 "2011-07-23T03:02:45Z")
My favorite part: > [@](#): > > At the end of the dining room is the tiny kitchen and an even tinier bar, where the waiters lurk like extras for a Gallic version of The Sopranos. The staff are an essential part of Louis’s mystique. Paunchy, combative, surly men, bulging out of their white jackets with the meaty malevolence of gouty buffalo.\*\* They may well be related by blood—theirs or other people’s.\*\* (Bolding mine). ---
**Author:** ![SeaDragonTattoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@SeaDragonTattoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SeaDragonTattoo)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2011, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awesome-restaurant-review/589849/10 "2011-07-23T04:12:09Z")
I have to remember never to eat a snail that won’t fit up my nose. Good tip. ---
**Author:** ![Stoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stoid/32/272_2.png) [@Stoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoid)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2011, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awesome-restaurant-review/589849/11 "2011-07-23T04:42:50Z")
> [@Ibanez](#): > > I love these types of reviews. > > I once had a bad experience in an up scale restaurant in Mt. Tremblant. A 40$ plate of bolognese, plate full of spaghetti with a ladel of bolognese sauce on it that disappeared into my spaghetti with two twists of the fork. Then I was basically eating a 40$ plate of spaghetti. > > The sauce tasted a week old and was bland no flavour at all and nothing close to a bolognese sauce. It was awful. > > Finest Italian eating my ass. Well, with all due respect, it is beyond imagining how anyone would choose the $40 bolognese to begin with. If I had $40 for my entree, it sure as hell wouldn’t be a pile of pasta with red sauce on it, and if that was the only thing on the menu that I could afford, I’d get the hell out of there and go to a restaurant where my $40 would buy me a beautiful piece of meat or fish or something exotic and unusual that I’d never had before. ---
**Author:** ![Arrendajo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Arrendajo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arrendajo)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2011, 5:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awesome-restaurant-review/589849/12 "2011-07-23T05:27:06Z")
I’m trying to decide between the dinosaur booger snails and the suppurating renal brick. ---
**Author:** ![mac\_bolan00](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b3f665/32.png) [@mac\_bolan00](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mac_bolan00)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2011, 5:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awesome-restaurant-review/589849/13 "2011-07-23T05:52:42Z")
labially pink cloths. you feel like a suppository. paris has no superpowers and parisians are not supermen. and no superman would work as a chef. people just expect too much out of restaurants. it’s a law in business: good products and services raise sales but poor ones maximize profits. don’t expect quality to be sustained even with regular price adjustments. if you want quality for every bite, do it yourself, or be nice to your partner. ---
**Author:** ![Carnacki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b5e925/32.png) [@Carnacki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Carnacki)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2011, 6:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awesome-restaurant-review/589849/14 "2011-07-23T06:07:50Z")
> [@Stoid](#): > > Well, with all due respect, it is beyond imagining how anyone would choose the $40 bolognese to begin with. If I had $40 for my entree, it sure as hell wouldn’t be a pile of pasta with red sauce on it, and if that was the only thing on the menu that I could afford, I’d get the hell out of there and go to a restaurant where my $40 would buy me a beautiful piece of meat or fish or something exotic and unusual that I’d never had before. So… shame on **Ibanez** for ordering something on the menu that he thought he’d like? Or shame on the restaurant for having that on the menu? Or shame on me for misunderstanding your point? ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2011, 6:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awesome-restaurant-review/589849/15 "2011-07-23T06:09:50Z")
> [@Stoid](#): > > Well, with all due respect, it is beyond imagining how anyone would choose the $40 bolognese to begin with. If I had $40 for my entree, it sure as hell wouldn’t be a pile of pasta with red sauce on it, and if that was the only thing on the menu that I could afford, I’d get the hell out of there and go to a restaurant where my $40 would buy me a beautiful piece of meat or fish or something exotic and unusual that I’d never had before. True. But bolognese is also not really supposed to be a red sauce, as that term is commonly used. It’s really mostly just ground beef with a little bit of tomato concentrate in it. It should mostly be meat and not very sauce-like at all. It’s actually not supposed to have a lot of ragú in it, if it’s trying to conform to the classic preparation ([which looks like this](http://www.mondodelgusto.it/2008/02/23/ragu-alla-bolognese-per-i-cent-anni-di-zia-jolanda/) or perhaps like [this](http://www.stockfood.co.uk/image-picture-Spaghetti-con-rag%C3%B9-alla-bolognese-(Spaghetti-with-meat-sauce-859032.html).) Problem is, bolognese means so many things to so many different people, and American interpretations of Italian dishes are usually sauced much more liberally than in the homeland versions, so people here are much more used to there being tons of sauce on their pasta. Still, I wouldn’t pay $40 for a plate of bolognese. ---
**Author:** ![guizot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guizot/32/3636_2.png) [@guizot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/guizot)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2011, 6:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awesome-restaurant-review/589849/16 "2011-07-23T06:19:06Z")
> [@Stoid](#): > > If I had $40 for my entree, it sure as hell wouldn’t be a pile of pasta with red sauce on it, and if that was the only thing on the menu that I could afford, I’d get the hell out of there and go to a restaurant where my $40 would buy me a beautiful piece of meat or fish or something exotic and unusual that I’d never had before. I think that’s the implicit point to this kind of review–that is, to point out how mindless the political economy of restaurants can be. Wouldn’t you say a similar review could be written for Musso and Franks? ---
**Author:** ![salinqmind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3ec8ea/32.png) [@salinqmind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/salinqmind)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2011, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awesome-restaurant-review/589849/17 "2011-07-23T16:36:10Z")
Home town red sauce italiano restaurant, great review in the paper. not a small hole in the wall. But being heartily sick of yet another serving of spaghets and meat-a-balls, I ordered shrimp scampi. Very disappointing! An extensive menu, they put all their time, money and energy into their spaghetti “specialty”. They didn’t even TRY. I actually wrote to the restaurant reviewer and got back, “well, maybe it was an off night for the kitchen”. No, it was off for me! ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2011, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awesome-restaurant-review/589849/18 "2011-07-23T17:27:46Z")
I ordered seafood risotto in a new Italian restaurant in town once. It was very undercooked. I complained to the waitress who snottily told me that it was not undercooked and that risotto is meant to be served al dente. I told her that I knew very well how risotto was supposed to be prepared and that al dente didn’t mean crunchy. The place only lasted a couple of months. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2011, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awesome-restaurant-review/589849/19 "2011-07-23T17:43:53Z")
Ah, welcome to the work of AA Gill. He’s a brilliant writer and reviewer. Very intelligent and thoughtful. Incisive, honest and cutting. One of the best in the UK. Which is a shame because he’s [an absolute shit](http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2009/oct/26/aa-gill-shot-baboon). ---
**Author:** ![Oslo\_Ostragoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/a9a28c/32.png) [@Oslo\_Ostragoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oslo_Ostragoth)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2011, 5:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awesome-restaurant-review/589849/20 "2011-07-24T05:46:50Z")
Epic: “It is, all things considered, entre nous, the worst restaurant in the world.” [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awesome-restaurant-review/589849.md?page=2)