# Awesome typos. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 3, 2009, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awesome-typos/512467 "2009-10-03T18:21:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2009, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awesome-typos/512467/21 "2009-10-04T04:27:54Z")
> [@Rysdad](#): > > In the patient history part of the order for a hip x-ray, the reason given for requesting the pictures was: > > Osteopenis Heh. Boner. ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2009, 5:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awesome-typos/512467/22 "2009-10-04T05:23:25Z")
Once on another forum, during a debate about abortion, a poster wrote that he believed “life begins at contraception.” ---
**Author:** ![Runs\_With\_Scissors](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/278dde/32.png) [@Runs\_With\_Scissors](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Runs_With_Scissors)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2009, 5:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awesome-typos/512467/23 "2009-10-04T05:31:10Z")
A fellow teacher was dealing with frantic parents emailing him the night before a week-long trip near Mt. St. Helens. He was replying back as fast as he could. The mom in charge of food purchasing asked if he wanted her to buy hot cocoa. He typed back: “Yes. Lots and lots of hot coc.” ---
**Author:** ![mhendo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mhendo/32/3159_2.png) [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2009, 5:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awesome-typos/512467/24 "2009-10-04T05:58:21Z")
I’ve been grading undergrad papers this week. That’s always good for some laughs. One student, describing the influx of gold and silver into Europe during the early period of Spanish rule in the Americas, wrote: “The flood of bouillon and a large increase in population brought on what is known as the Price Revolution.” Yeah, you gotta watch out for that flood of bouillon. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Chicken\_Fingers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Chicken\_Fingers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chicken_Fingers)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2009, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awesome-typos/512467/25 "2009-10-04T13:43:58Z")
When you mean “inconvenience” but spellchecker has other ideas. A business once sent “We apologize for the incontinence.” ---
**Author:** ![Unauthorized\_Cinnamon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/bc8723/32.png) [@Unauthorized\_Cinnamon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unauthorized_Cinnamon)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2009, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awesome-typos/512467/26 "2009-10-04T22:58:34Z")
> [@Chicken\_Fingers](#): > > When you mean “inconvenience” but spellchecker has other ideas. > > A business once sent “We apologize for the incontinence.” There is a town nearby called Fuquay-Varina. I know what you’re thinking, but the first part wasn’t the problem (pronounced “fyoo-quay” btw). The thing is, Word’s spellchecker would always try to change the second part to “Vagina.” I hope to Og I never sent out any legal correspondence referring to “Fuquay-Vagina!” ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Zappa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Mama\_Zappa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Zappa)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2009, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awesome-typos/512467/27 "2009-10-05T01:35:14Z")
I came in to mention my spouse… [sup][1][/sup] but I think I’ll leave with a memory of a document that nearly went out the door to a client at the US Department of Housing and Urban Development. They do not, in fact, have a division that deals with PUBIC housing :smack: 1: username Typo Knig ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Zappa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Mama\_Zappa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Zappa)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2009, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awesome-typos/512467/28 "2009-10-05T01:44:12Z")
> [@Unauthorized\_Cinnamon](#): > > There is a town nearby called Fuquay-Varina. I know what you’re thinking, but the first part wasn’t the problem (pronounced “fyoo-quay” btw). The thing is, Word’s spellchecker would always try to change the second part to “Vagina.” I hope to Og I never sent out any legal correspondence referring to “Fuquay-Vagina!” :::snerk::: - I lived in the Triangle area before the advent of spell-checkers… too bad, that would have been fun. It’s always entertaining to spellcheck a list of names. Imagine my delight when it offered to change one colleague’s name to “Kaput” and another to “Swindler”. :eek: 😉 ---
**Author:** ![njtt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ecd19e/32.png) [@njtt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/njtt)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2009, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awesome-typos/512467/29 "2009-10-05T03:36:19Z")
I had been explaining to my students that paper had not yet been invented in ancient times, and that one type of writing surface that was used was a wooden board spread with a thin layer of beeswax, which could then be marked with a stylus. A student later handed in an essay containing the sentence: “The ancient Greeks did not have paper, so instead they had to writhe on waxed boards.” I can just picture it! ---
**Author:** ![njtt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ecd19e/32.png) [@njtt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/njtt)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2009, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awesome-typos/512467/30 "2009-10-05T03:47:58Z")
Oh, and in response to **Mama Zappa** ’s last post, there is a well known cognitive psychologist named Ulric Neisser. I believe his last name is pronounced the same as “nicer”. However, the spellchecker for the old WordPerfect 5.1 (I am not sure about later versions) wanted to correct it to “Nastier”. 😃 I wonder if the spellcheck program was a written by a disgruntled former student. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2009, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awesome-typos/512467/31 "2009-10-05T04:34:36Z")
Ethnic restaurants are good for a chuckle every now and then with their Human Pork, grilled lamp, and crapmeat (apparently Greeks are prone to confuse b’s with p’s). Then there was the rookie reporter who included [“wonton assault”](http://www.mentalfloss.com/blogs/archives/7867#comment-23798) in the day’s police blotter. The next day his editor bought him Chinese carryout. ---
**Author:** ![fubbleskag](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c2a13f/32.png) [@fubbleskag](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fubbleskag)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2009, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awesome-typos/512467/32 "2009-10-05T04:39:46Z")
When I was still in the newsroom, we had a very dim office assistant. One of our head hunting firms sent us an invite to a luncheon, so we sent her to take notes as both myself and the VP were too busy. In the notes that she sent around, a link to a website was included: [www.rapemyemployer.com](http://www.rapemyemployer.com) (rate, rape, whatever, right?). As a bonus, when I brought it to her attention, she didn’t understand the problem. She said that the speaker had “pacifically” spelled out the web address for everyone. Last I heard, she’d quit in pursuit of a career in holistic healing. ---
**Author:** ![Kobal2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kobal2/32/20_2.png) [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2009, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awesome-typos/512467/33 "2009-10-05T05:10:07Z")
> [@mnemosyne](#): > > It wasn’t my typo! I just remember the thread, because apparently, I’ve been here forever! Heh, amusing post/username combo. ---
**Author:** ![BobArrgh](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bobarrgh/32/2881_2.png) [@BobArrgh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobArrgh)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2009, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awesome-typos/512467/34 "2009-10-05T21:43:16Z")
> [@Beware\_of\_Doug](#): > > Ethnic restaurants are good for a chuckle every now and then with their Human Pork, grilled lamp, and crapmeat (apparently Greeks are prone to confuse b’s with p’s). Not just Greeks. I have the same dysgraphia problem, and constantly write “p” instead of “b” (except in my own name). In all of my science notes from school, I would write “test tupe” and then scratch it out and replace it with “test tube”. Sooo … in college, I worked for a lawyer named “Crabtree”. He was notoriously cheap, and did not have pre-printed envelopes with the name of the firm on it. So, when I sent out letters, I had to type his name. I swear I didn’t do it on purpose, but there were some times I wasn’t very careful in my proof-reading. I also had a friend who sent out an email about the “pubic applications folder” (instead of “public applications”). He was brought up on charges by a complaint to Human Resources, and was within a whisker of being fired for sexual harassment. The company president raked him over the coals and told him that he had to spellcheck every single email he sent. My friend told him that he had, and that “pubic” was a perfectly-spelled word. **That** led to him being put on probation for insubordination. ---
**Author:** ![Sir\_Meatloaf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Sir\_Meatloaf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sir_Meatloaf)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2009, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awesome-typos/512467/35 "2009-10-07T16:25:50Z")
Okay, I gotta delurk for one other. A friend of mine, typing online about a frightening experience: **J:** i creamed like a little girl **J:** oh my god **J:** SCREAMED **J:** i meant SCREAMED He still hasn’t lived that one down. ---
**Author:** ![Icarus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/icarus/32/72_2.png) [@Icarus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Icarus)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2009, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awesome-typos/512467/36 "2009-10-07T19:28:18Z")
Early in my HR career I produced the Headcount report. Somehow, I had misplaced an “o” along the way. This report went out so labeled for a few years before it was discovered. Some wondered if it was a Freudian reference to the VP of HR. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2009, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awesome-typos/512467/37 "2009-10-07T20:21:06Z")
> [@stpauler](#): > > In response to my boss asking if I got the email attachment: > > “Go tit!” > > :smack: :smack: I’ve caught myself on that one many a time. Also, today I manage to catch “Could you send me a screenshit?” before hitting Send. ---
**Author:** ![Tranquilis](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tranquilis/32/3639_2.png) [@Tranquilis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tranquilis)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2009, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awesome-typos/512467/38 "2009-10-07T20:42:11Z")
> [@Mama\_Zappa](#): > > Imagine my delight when it offered to change one colleague’s name to “Kaput” and another to “Swindler”. :eek: 😉 I know a family by the last name of Swindler. Not a lawyer amongst them. ---
**Author:** ![borschevsky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/97f17d/32.png) [@borschevsky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/borschevsky)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2009, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awesome-typos/512467/39 "2009-10-07T20:48:19Z")
A recent email: "Don’t you all think the meeting should be rescheduled to a later time? Retards, -Name-" ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2009, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awesome-typos/512467/40 "2009-10-07T20:52:00Z")
> [@borschevsky](#): > > A recent email: > > "Don’t you all think the meeting should be rescheduled to a later time? > > Retards, > > -Name-" 😃 Does s/he really respect your opinions about the meeting or not? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awesome-typos/512467.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awesome-typos/512467.md?page=3)