# Awful but successful movies **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 13, 2001, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awful-but-successful-movies/49924 "2001-01-13T23:46:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![flodnak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/838e76/32.png) [@flodnak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flodnak)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2001, 7:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awful-but-successful-movies/49924/41 "2001-01-15T07:10:34Z")
Any movie Julia Roberts ever touched. ---
**Author:** ![Sublight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2001, 8:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awful-but-successful-movies/49924/42 "2001-01-15T08:18:42Z")
I may get flamed for this, but I absolutely loathed _Dancer in the Dark_. The music was ok, but everything else (especially Bjork’s singing and acting) was perfectly atrocious. –sublight. ---
**Author:** ![Danimal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bb73d2/32.png) [@Danimal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Danimal)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2001, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awful-but-successful-movies/49924/43 "2001-01-15T14:35:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Anamorphic \* > \*\*\*\* Mission Incomprehesible \*\* > > Um, I mean, Mission \* Impossible \*. > > Over-directed, over-acted, under-scripted piece of crap. The worst big-budget film of all time, IMO. Still made lots of money, though. Did anyone enjoy this festering waste of celluoid? \*\* I did. It was one of the best one-dimensional action flicks I’ve ever seen. The cinematic equivalent of a sweet light snack. And it was much more original, less stupid, and better paced than the sequel. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2001, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awful-but-successful-movies/49924/44 "2001-01-15T15:54:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by kellibelli \* > \*\ ***Random Hearts** Oh GOD it was BAD!!! \*\* Boy, a big thumbs up (down?) to that. I watched Random Hearts on Spectravision and after an hour and a half with no plot in sight I wanted to cut off my own head in despair, but there weren’t any swords around. If there was any discernible story in that movie, I missed it. I’d also like to throw **Highlander II** into the mix. I don’t know how much money it’s made but since it probably only cost them fifty bucks to make it, it turned a profit. The worst movie of all time. Also, I’d like to nominate **Sleepy Hollow.** Big hit last year. What a horrifyingly terrible movie. When I saw it, the whole audience was jeering and hooting at the general suckiness of it. The line where Johnny Depp tells Forehead Girl she must be a witch because “you have bewitched me” had us rolling in the aisles. Another one: **Deep Blue Sea.** Biggest turkey of 1999, hands down. Bad effects, bad story, bad pacing, and more howler scenes and lines than I could name. Saffron Burrows put on one of the worst acting jobs I’ve seen since Christmas pageants in elementary school. And how did everyone forget the Stallone-Stone laugher **The Specialist?** What a stinker. ---
**Author:** ![sulawesi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbe5ce/32.png) [@sulawesi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sulawesi)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2001, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awful-but-successful-movies/49924/45 "2001-01-15T16:44:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by aha \* > \*\*Weekend at Bernies gets my vote. Both of them. \*\* There was more than one??? :eek: And even though it’s already been mentioned many, many times, I must emphasize that _The Blair Witch Project_ was one of the worst movies I’ve ever seen. I had a really hard time staying awake through that. ---
**Author:** ![egkelly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/db5fbb/32.png) [@egkelly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/egkelly)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2001, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awful-but-successful-movies/49924/46 "2001-01-15T17:31:41Z")
I’d like to modify this thread a bit…what about those movies that the critics consider classics… like: -CITIZEN KANE: the most boring piece of crap I ever had to sit through -TRON: the first full length movie with computer-generated animation: horribly long and boring to boot! -Any kevin Costner movie: (like FIELD OF DREAMS): “…if you build it, he will come…” ---
**Author:** ![BobSchroeck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/13edae/32.png) [@BobSchroeck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobSchroeck)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2001, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awful-but-successful-movies/49924/47 "2001-01-15T18:26:36Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by egkelly \* > **-TRON: the first full length movie with computer-generated animation: horribly long and boring to boot!** Ah, well, that was your problem. You’re supposed to watch it _after_ it boots. \ More seriously, I suppose it would pain you to learn that they’re making “Tron 2.0”… – Bob ---
**Author:** ![Clucky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/977dab/32.png) [@Clucky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clucky)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2001, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awful-but-successful-movies/49924/48 "2001-01-15T18:33:25Z")
I must defend American Beauty and Forest Gump, if for no other reason than because we don’t have many disagreements here. Granted, American Beauty is a different type of movie, and you have to be in the right frame of mind to watch it. It’s not what you want to watch if you want a conventional storyline with conventional character growth. These were some screwed-up people, but that didn’t preclude them from being interesting. Plus, I, for one, liked the symbolism portrayed by the bag blowing in the wind. I can also seen how Gump could be construed as tripe, but I thought it was filled with clever whimsy, and gosh-dernit, Clucky liked it. Now, for crappy blockbusters … Scary Movie … had about five laughs, tops. Somebody stop the Wayans brothers before they kill (brain cells) again. The English Patient … huh? I forced myself to watch the entire crap-fest, and for what, because it won the Oscar? I’ll never trust the Academy again. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2001, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awful-but-successful-movies/49924/49 "2001-01-15T19:13:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by egkelly \* > \*\*I’d like to modify this thread a bit…what about those movies that the critics consider classics… > like: > -CITIZEN KANE: the most boring piece of crap I ever had to sit through > \*\* I second that emotion. I watched it a few years ago (because it’s the best film ever made, doncha know), and it was dark, gloomy, weird, and boring. IMO, unless you’re making an instructional video, the purpose of a movie is to entertain in whatever way is appropriate for the type of movie it is. No matter how brilliant your movie is, if it doesn’t entertain, it’s crap. My vote is for The Piano. All I can say about that movie is a great big “HUH?!?” ---
**Author:** ![Wildest\_Bill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Wildest\_Bill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wildest_Bill)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2001, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awful-but-successful-movies/49924/50 "2001-01-15T19:24:37Z")
“Scary Movie” sucked sucked and sucked(it sucked alot inotherwords.) only wasted 30 minutes of my life kellibelli 😉 “Little Nicky” I wish I could get my dollar back from the dollar cinema. One thing I can’t believe is how some of ya’ll didn’t like “Forrest Gump”. That movie was great and very entertaining. How come some of ya’ll didn’t like it? ---
**Author:** ![rjung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/45deac/32.png) [@rjung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjung)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2001, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awful-but-successful-movies/49924/51 "2001-01-15T19:26:36Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by egkelly \* > \*\*I’d like to modify this thread a bit…what about those movies that the critics consider classics… > like: > > -TRON: the first full length movie with computer-generated animation: horribly long and boring to boot!\*\* Where did you **find** a critivc who considered _Tron_ to be a classic? Sure, it was a technological first and eye-candy geekfest, but I don’t know anyone who considers it a _Citizen Kane_ or _Gone With the Wind_-style “classic”. (Hey! _Gone With the Wind_! Another overblown “classic” right there! 🙂 ) Can’t wait to see _Tron 2.0,_ but I don’t expect that to be a classic either… ---
**Author:** ![Kilt-wearin\_man](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/82dd89/32.png) [@Kilt-wearin\_man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kilt-wearin_man)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2001, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awful-but-successful-movies/49924/52 "2001-01-15T19:35:53Z")
“Very Bad Things” - this piece of crap is physically painful to watch. I don’t know if it was commerically successful, but whatever you do DO NOT WATCH THIS MOVIE! “Mystery Men” - I could only stand about 45 minutes of this one. Every time something amusing happens, it’s immediately eclipsed by STUPIDITY! “Lord of the Rings” - the animated one from the late seventies. Yeesh. Its plot, as near as I can tell, summarizes a book report written from the Cliffs Notes of the original novel. And the animation SUCKED. Even by the standards of the time. ---
**Author:** ![Spoke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e57/32.png) [@Spoke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoke)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2001, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awful-but-successful-movies/49924/53 "2001-01-15T20:18:58Z")
Can’t believe no one’s mentioned **Batman**. Visually interesting, but the dialogue was just painful. ---
**Author:** ![Anamorphic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/anamorphic/32/3057_2.png) [@Anamorphic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anamorphic)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2001, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awful-but-successful-movies/49924/54 "2001-01-15T20:27:36Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by featherlou \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by egkelly \* > > \*\*I’d like to modify this thread a bit…what about those movies that the critics consider classics… > > like: > > -CITIZEN KANE: the most boring piece of crap I ever had to sit through > > \*\* > > I second that emotion. I watched it a few years ago (because it’s the best film ever made, doncha know), and it was dark, gloomy, weird, and boring. > IMO, unless you’re making an instructional video, the purpose of a movie is to entertain in whatever way is appropriate for the type of movie it is. No matter how brilliant your movie is, if it doesn’t entertain, it’s crap. > My vote is for The Piano. All I can say about that movie is a great big “HUH?!?” \*\* ::Anamorphic’s head explodes upon realizing that not everyone thinks Citizen Kane is one of the greatest films of all time:: Watch it again! Watch it again! Please! Citizen Kane is mind-boggling great. It deserves every bit of praise heaped upon it. ::Anamorphic’s head magically re-assembles upon realizing that these same people think The Piano is crap:: Yeah, gotta agree with you there. ---
**Author:** ![labdude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/5fc32e/32.png) [@labdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/labdude)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2001, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awful-but-successful-movies/49924/55 "2001-01-15T22:25:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Clucky \* > \*\* Plus, I, for one, liked the symbolism portrayed by the bag blowing in the wind. > \*\* Dude! That was one of the main reasons the movie sucked! Bag blowing in the wind! ---
**Author:** ![KJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b2d939/32.png) [@KJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KJ)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2001, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awful-but-successful-movies/49924/56 "2001-01-15T23:04:57Z")
Was _Tron_ really the first feature-length movie to use CGI? According to a book I have, “Industrial Light & Magic; Into The Digital Realm” the first computer-generated effect to be used in a movie was The Genesis Effect in _Star Trek III_ (III?) I never saw _Deep Blue Sea_, but it looked like the most horrible piece of crap imaginable. Genetic engineers make sharks with giant brains, who then go on to kill a bunch of people. (The sharks, not the engineers…though it would’ve probably been more interesting had it been the other way around.) If I just gave away the entire plot (plot?) don’t blame me, I got all that from the commercials. But the worst part was the bit of dialogue they put into the commercial; “Something’s wrong. We genetically engineered sharks to have bigger brains. As a result, the sharks got smarter.” Well, **DUH**. Do they even explain in the movie why they decided to use sharks for their experiments, rather than, say, rats? My vote for worst movie goes to _Pulp Fiction_. Yell at me all you like, that movie SUCKED. I still have not been able to watch this movie all the way through, without either leaving the room out of boredom, or falling asleep. There’s no point to the movie. It’s just a bunch of guys running around, doing drugs, shooting things, and cussing up a storm. Somebody please tell me what the point of that movie was. Oh, and also, I have to disagree with _The Lion King_. That’s my all-time favorite Disney movie! It was great! And the sequel wasn’t terrible either (not very _good_, either, but not horrible, like most Disney sequels. And it had some pretty good songs in it.) ---
**Author:** ![obfusciatrist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/4af34b/32.png) [@obfusciatrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/obfusciatrist)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2001, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awful-but-successful-movies/49924/57 "2001-01-15T23:09:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Wildest Bill \* > **One thing I can’t believe is how some of ya’ll didn’t like “Forrest Gump”. That movie was great and very entertaining. How come some of ya’ll didn’t like it?** For me it was the message that it doesn’t take any intellect to get ahead in this world, just a combination of blind luck and athletic ability. ---
**Author:** ![Lizard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@Lizard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lizard)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2001, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awful-but-successful-movies/49924/58 "2001-01-15T23:31:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by obfusciatrist \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by Wildest Bill \* > > **One thing I can’t believe is how some of ya’ll didn’t like “Forrest Gump”. That movie was great and very entertaining. How come some of ya’ll didn’t like it?** > > For me it was the message that it doesn’t take any intellect to get ahead in this world, just a combination of blind luck and athletic ability. \*\* Well, that seems to work for just about every pro athlete out there.😃 My nominations for this category are the three sequels to the original _Batman_. The first movie wasn’t great, but it was by far the best of the four, and passable in its own right (mostly because of Nicholson’s Joker). The rest just sucked. Mediocre acting, bad scripts, stupidly-realized villains, predictable plots, etc. I agree with someone who mentiond Star Trek V, too. What the hell was _that_?? ---
**Author:** ![Tzel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Tzel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tzel)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2001, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awful-but-successful-movies/49924/59 "2001-01-15T23:53:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tsugumo \* > \*\*Event Horizon. > > I didn’t get why it was supposed to be so amazingly freaky…ah well. > \*\* The movie as a whole may not have been that scary, but there are a couple of parts where the demon, or whatever (haven’t seen the movie in quite a while) shows the captain visions of “hell.” (“Hell is just an idea. The reality is _much worse_.”) Those quickly flashed images constitute the fucking scariest 3 seconds or so in moviemaking history. I would put the movie in a 4-head VCR and pause during those scenes to see exactly what they are. except I’m pretty sure I’ll have nightmares. And I normally don’t find any TV show or movie scary in the least. ---
**Author:** ![ThisYearsGirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/73ab20/32.png) [@ThisYearsGirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThisYearsGirl)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2001, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awful-but-successful-movies/49924/60 "2001-01-16T00:07:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Clucky \* > \*\*I must defend American Beauty and Forest Gump, if for no other reason than because we don’t have many disagreements here. > > Granted, American Beauty is a different type of movie, and you have to be in the right frame of mind to watch it. It’s not what you want to watch if you want a conventional storyline with conventional character growth. These were some screwed-up people, but that didn’t preclude them from being interesting. Plus, I, for one, liked the symbolism portrayed by the bag blowing in the wind. > \*\* First of all, I thought it was a rather conventional movie. The characters (especially the female characters) were giant cliches. Much more than that, they weren’t even consistent cliches. The entire movie, for me, can me summed up in one scene–Kevin Spacey’s daughter as a cheerleader. It made no sense, it didn’t fight with her character at all, and it was never mentioned again. It was a dumb thing thrown in to move the plot along, which was what the entire movie was like. Also (SPOILERSPOILERSPOILER, as if everyone in the world hasn’t seen this movie already), the big surprises of the ending were so obvious! Not just the blonde girl being a virgin, but the neighbor being gay. When he first appeared on screen, I thought “I bet he’s gay. OH NO WAIT! That’s way too obvious. No decent filmmaker would do that!” And guess what!? He is gay! And “the symbolism portrayed by the bag blowing in the wind”–first of all, not only is it completely ripped off from a Talking Heads concert film, but I don’t think it’s symbolism when the main character narrates its meaning over it!!! Geez, I’m sorry. I didn’t want to do this, but, damn! This is such an overrated movie. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awful-but-successful-movies/49924.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awful-but-successful-movies/49924.md?page=4)