# Awkward erections **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 10, 2013, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awkward-erections/663131 "2013-07-10T13:03:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Longshanks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Longshanks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Longshanks)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2013, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awkward-erections/663131/1 "2013-07-10T13:03:04Z")
Give your stories ---
**Author:** ![DrFidelius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drfidelius/32/3447_2.png) [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2013, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awkward-erections/663131/2 "2013-07-10T13:08:22Z")
Nothing awkward about any I have had. I am well-balanced and aesthetically pleasing. ---
**Author:** ![Longshanks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Longshanks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Longshanks)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2013, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awkward-erections/663131/3 "2013-07-10T13:31:53Z")
I meant situations like when holding a baby or something. ---
**Author:** ![DrFidelius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drfidelius/32/3447_2.png) [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2013, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awkward-erections/663131/4 "2013-07-10T13:38:11Z")
I’m afraid I am still not following you. It is only a penis. It becomes erect. ??? ---
**Author:** ![Longshanks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Longshanks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Longshanks)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2013, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awkward-erections/663131/5 "2013-07-10T13:44:07Z")
I know it is only a penis, but in certain situations by it becoming erect it can lead to awkwardness. ---
**Author:** ![Jragon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e19b73/32.png) [@Jragon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jragon)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2013, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awkward-erections/663131/6 "2013-07-10T13:46:13Z")
Well, there was that one time after I murdered a preschool after setting an apartment on fire. Everybody looked so mad, I can only assume it was because I had a half-erection at the time, I’m not even sure how they could tell! ---
**Author:** ![Hermitian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hermitian/32/470_2.png) [@Hermitian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hermitian)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2013, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awkward-erections/663131/7 "2013-07-10T13:46:25Z")
I feel awkward already, and all I did was read this thread. ---
**Author:** ![DrFidelius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drfidelius/32/3447_2.png) [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2013, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awkward-erections/663131/8 "2013-07-10T13:48:31Z")
> [@Longshanks](#): > > I know it is only a penis, but in certain situations by it becoming erect it can lead to awkwardness. Why? Are the people you associate with afraid you are going to begin raping them? ---
**Author:** ![Longshanks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Longshanks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Longshanks)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2013, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awkward-erections/663131/9 "2013-07-10T13:48:47Z")
> [@Hermitian](#): > > I feel awkward already, and all I did was read this thread. It really isn’t all that strange. ---
**Author:** ![Longshanks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Longshanks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Longshanks)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2013, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awkward-erections/663131/10 "2013-07-10T13:49:51Z")
> [@DrFidelius](#): > > Why? Are the people you associate with afraid you are going to begin raping them? Depends. ---
**Author:** ![DrFidelius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drfidelius/32/3447_2.png) [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2013, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awkward-erections/663131/11 "2013-07-10T13:54:20Z")
Here, sit down. We are going to talk a little and try to find out why you feel uncomfortable about a perfectly normal function of the male body. How long have you had this problem? ---
**Author:** ![Longshanks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Longshanks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Longshanks)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2013, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awkward-erections/663131/12 "2013-07-10T14:00:49Z")
Before we get this started I just want to get it verified that you are a qualified doctor. ---
**Author:** ![DrFidelius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drfidelius/32/3447_2.png) [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2013, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awkward-erections/663131/13 "2013-07-10T14:05:58Z")
We’ll get to your trust issues later, but I will make sure Lori gives you a HCFA to submit to your carrier for fee reimbursement. What state are you in? We may not have reciprocity. ---
**Author:** ![Longshanks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Longshanks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Longshanks)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2013, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awkward-erections/663131/14 "2013-07-10T14:10:14Z")
Speak English man. Dammit! I am struggling to make out what your meaning. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2013, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awkward-erections/663131/15 "2013-07-10T15:18:02Z")
One time my dick was hanging out with one ball and bumped into the other one. AWK-ward! ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2013, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awkward-erections/663131/16 "2013-07-10T15:25:46Z")
I’ve had angry erections but never any awkward ones. or My erections are either windward or leeward but never awkward. ---
**Author:** ![Longshanks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Longshanks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Longshanks)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2013, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awkward-erections/663131/17 "2013-07-10T15:26:17Z")
Seems pretty run of the mill. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2013, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awkward-erections/663131/18 "2013-07-10T15:36:21Z")
You mean like the ones that would come out of nowhere in 7th grade, usually about 4 seconds before the bell rang for class change? And then you’d have to worm your way down a crowded hallway trying not to bump it into people and oh there’s that cute girl from math class Oh My God it’s starting throb now! WTF!..you mean like those moments? Beause that’s never happened to anyone. Just you. 🙂 I will no refer you back to DrFidelius regarding your trust issues. ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2013, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awkward-erections/663131/19 "2013-07-10T15:40:32Z")
There’s a song about _exactly_ what you’re looking for, however, I’m not going to going trying to find it until there’s no one within earshot of my computer. ---
**Author:** ![aNewLeaf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ac91a4/32.png) [@aNewLeaf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aNewLeaf)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2013, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awkward-erections/663131/20 "2013-07-10T15:42:47Z")
> [@Loach](#): > > I’ve had angry erections but never any awkward ones. I’ve never had an angry erection. Some are impatient, but all are cheery and enthusiastic. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awkward-erections/663131.md?page=2)