# Awkward erections **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 10, 2013, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awkward-erections/663131 "2013-07-10T13:03:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2013, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awkward-erections/663131/21 "2013-07-10T15:47:31Z")
> [@Longshanks](#): > > I meant situations like when holding a baby or something. Some people dress babies like they’re three year olds. Just sayin. ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2013, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awkward-erections/663131/22 "2013-07-10T15:52:41Z")
[![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/TCNdXE1UMLk/hqdefault.jpg "The Whitest Kids You Know-Boner Song") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TCNdXE1UMLk) ---
**Author:** ![GrandWino](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grandwino/32/67_2.png) [@GrandWino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandWino)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2013, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awkward-erections/663131/23 "2013-07-10T15:53:44Z")
This was just a fairly popular thread topic on Reddit. I guess OP thought he’d be able to get some upvotes or karma here or something. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2013, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awkward-erections/663131/24 "2013-07-10T15:54:42Z")
> [@Longshanks](#): > > Give your stories Do you have any stories? ---
**Author:** ![Hampshire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hampshire/32/4887_2.png) [@Hampshire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hampshire)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2013, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awkward-erections/663131/25 "2013-07-10T15:57:56Z")
This one time we were putting together a temporary billboard on top of a building advertising for a traveling circus. It said “Come and see the elephants and hippos!!” The buidling we were putting this on top of was a Weight Watchers location. Talk about your awkward erections. ---
**Author:** ![Longshanks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Longshanks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Longshanks)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2013, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awkward-erections/663131/26 "2013-07-10T16:21:26Z")
> [@Bob Ducca](#): > > This was just a fairly popular thread topic on Reddit. I guess OP thought he’d be able to get some upvotes or karma here or something. Don’t go on Reddit so not really. Anyway I feel most people have misconstrued my question. I wasn’t asking about your dick so to speak, but more about situations when it erected and may have not been the most appropriate of times for it to do so. ---
**Author:** ![GrandWino](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grandwino/32/67_2.png) [@GrandWino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandWino)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2013, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awkward-erections/663131/27 "2013-07-10T16:34:11Z")
While reading this thread. ---
**Author:** ![Longshanks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Longshanks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Longshanks)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2013, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awkward-erections/663131/28 "2013-07-10T16:36:35Z")
I’m flattered. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2013, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awkward-erections/663131/29 "2013-07-10T16:36:53Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#): > > One time my dick was hanging out with one ball and bumped into the other one. AWK-ward! You have two dicks?:eek: ---
**Author:** ![ducati](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/cc9497/32.png) [@ducati](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ducati)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2013, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awkward-erections/663131/30 "2013-07-10T16:44:22Z")
I had an erection from age 15 until maybe 22. While I never exposed myself fully, my wardrobe selection made sure there were no unanswered questions.😉 Like a girl with an awesome body or big boobs, I say “If you’ve got it, flaunt it.” It stood me well, and garnered many “connections” I may otherwise have missed. Plus working in a strip club never hurt either. 😃 I suppose in that time I attended church and a funeral or two, but I don’t think anyone noticed… ---
**Author:** ![Longshanks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Longshanks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Longshanks)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2013, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awkward-erections/663131/31 "2013-07-10T16:52:21Z")
> [@ducati](#): > > I had an erection from age 15 until maybe 22. While I never exposed myself fully, my wardrobe selection made sure there were no unanswered questions.😉 > > Like a girl with an awesome body or big boobs, I say “If you’ve got it, flaunt it.” > > It stood me well, and garnered many “connections” I may otherwise have missed. Plus working in a strip club never hurt either. 😃 > > I suppose in that time I attended church and a funeral or two, but I don’t think anyone noticed… 7 year erection, must be some kind of record. ---
**Author:** ![aceplace57](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aceplace57/32/3500_2.png) [@aceplace57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aceplace57)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2013, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awkward-erections/663131/32 "2013-07-10T16:57:04Z")
I got an erection during a prostate examination once. My patient was rather embarrassed. My wife asked this morning, “How come you don’t wake up with an erection?” I replied, “Because you’re the woman of my dreams.” ---
**Author:** ![LMarie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c68b51/32.png) [@LMarie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LMarie)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2013, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awkward-erections/663131/33 "2013-07-10T18:12:27Z")
Seriously, I think Oprah did a show on this topic once. Or at least this topic was explored even if it wasn’t the main point of the show. I recall one woman insisting that her husband go to a therapist as he was rough-housing with a little girl (one of their daughters?) and got an erection. The man was terribly embarrassed and ashamed, but then found out that it was a common reaction and didn’t mean he was a pervert. On that same show, several other men came forward and copped to other awkward erections and the assumptions/accusations that sometimes accompanied them. Was an interesting show. Certainly, I’m not the only one who watched it. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2013, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awkward-erections/663131/34 "2013-07-10T18:17:21Z")
> [@Longshanks](#): > > 7 year erection, must be some kind of record. Stop playing with it. You’ll shoot your eye out with that thing, kid. ---
**Author:** ![Kinthalis](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kinthalis/32/16084_2.png) [@Kinthalis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kinthalis)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2013, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awkward-erections/663131/35 "2013-07-10T18:57:40Z")
> [@Jragon](#): > > Well, there was that one time after I murdered a preschool after setting an apartment on fire. Everybody looked so mad, I can only assume it was because I had a half-erection at the time, I’m not even sure how they could tell! Careful. Unfortunately, in this day and age, all it takes is some bozo thinking this is some sort of threat for you to spend 5 months in jail and face possibly years in one. > **[Texas teen jailed after League of Legends argument](https://www.gamespot.com/articles/texas-teen-jailed-after-league-of-legends-argument/1100-6410871/)** > > In-game dispute led to Facebook comments from 18-year-old referencing school shooting. ---
**Author:** ![BubbaDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bubbadog/32/333_2.png) [@BubbaDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BubbaDog)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2013, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awkward-erections/663131/36 "2013-07-10T19:09:59Z")
Well I thought nominating Sarah Palin for the VP slot kind of made that election a bit Awkward. For example when she… …What? … …Erection!?.. never mind ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2013, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awkward-erections/663131/37 "2013-07-10T21:10:10Z")
It’s actually a thing in the “legitimate” massage profession. In “legitimate” massage, the client is always covered with a sheet, and only the parts of the body being massaged at any moment are uncovered. Genitalia, butts, and boobs are off-limits. ☹ Nevertheless, there’s nothing uncommon about male clients getting a hard-on during a massage, and drapery notwithstanding, it’s obvious. In professional massage classes, the student are explicitly taught to simply ignore it. Seems kinda silly. I mean, isn’t the whole idea of massage, to massage any stiff body parts until they aren’t stiff anymore? – Senegoid, CMT (yes, really) ---
**Author:** ![John\_DiFool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_difool/32/19543_2.png) [@John\_DiFool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_DiFool)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2013, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awkward-erections/663131/38 "2013-07-11T00:37:26Z")
Best OP title/user name combo of the month. ---
**Author:** ![jz78817](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jz78817/32/1028_2.png) [@jz78817](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jz78817)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2013, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awkward-erections/663131/39 "2013-07-11T00:55:33Z")
it’s why I can’t wear boxers most of the time. too much movement/friction, and “surprise tent” is an affliction I thought I had left behind in middle school. ---
**Author:** ![Accidental\_Martyr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ce7236/32.png) [@Accidental\_Martyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Accidental_Martyr)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2013, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awkward-erections/663131/40 "2013-07-11T03:00:16Z")
> [@Longshanks](#): > > 7 year erection, must be some kind of record. Yeah, and those commercials say to seek medical attention if you have one that lasts four hours. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awkward-erections/663131.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awkward-erections/663131.md?page=3)