# Awkward erections **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 10, 2013, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awkward-erections/663131 "2013-07-10T13:03:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Machine\_Elf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/82dd89/32.png) [@Machine\_Elf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Machine_Elf)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2013, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awkward-erections/663131/61 "2013-07-11T14:20:49Z")
Do women ever suffer the analogous condition, i.e. arousal in a public setting that results in a glistening wet spot on their pants/shorts? ---
**Author:** ![DrFidelius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drfidelius/32/3447_2.png) [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2013, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awkward-erections/663131/62 "2013-07-11T14:20:56Z")
> [@Shakes](#): > > What’s awkward, is the OP wants us to tell him our penis stories, yet he gives none of his own. It kind of makes my wary of why he started this thread. I’ve been noticing a troublesome trend lately of posters who are oddly obsessed with their own or other person’s penises. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2013, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awkward-erections/663131/63 "2013-07-11T14:23:14Z")
> [@Machine\_Elf](#): > > Do women ever suffer the analogous condition, i.e. arousal in a public setting that results in a glistening wet spot on their pants/shorts? Hang on, I’ll call my mom. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2013, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awkward-erections/663131/64 "2013-07-11T15:43:01Z")
> [@Locrian](#): > > It hasn’t happened yet, but I work in captions/subtitles/localization. Mostly it’s TV broadcast in any genre, major (theatrical) film reformats, I’ve done 100 different films a month consistently. > > I’ve only worked on soft porn-- meaning, just consensual sex or self-pleasuring-- about twice every three months. Hey, it pays the office electricity, I suppose. You know, drunk/drugged girl, 19-20, gets on bus, bed, in shower, sometimes takes off clothes, sometimes masturbates, sometimes hooks up with BFF, etc. And it’s SOOOO fucking annoying to caption, because of the dumb-ass cameramen who feel the need to repeat everything the girl says, which causes every girl to repeat the cameraman! (1,200 captions? Really??) > > Still, there’s a few minutes each file where there’s no dialogue other than " ( moaning, panting, loud moaning )", and here I am at my comfy desk, and POP! There he is! 😃 > > **With my luck, I’m expecting the fire alarm to blare whenever I get something like this to work on. I’ll hear, “Locrian! We gotta get outta here! Quick! Stand up and run outside!” and then everyone will notice Mr. Happy trying to break free of my Levis. I’ll probably run into the nearest girl and accidentally poke her leg with Locrianpenis and get a sex harassment write-up, having to unsuccessfully claim that loud ringing bells is what turned me on.** If someone happened to film that, it sounds like it might be a good one for you to caption. ---
**Author:** ![Alba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ea666f/32.png) [@Alba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alba)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2013, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awkward-erections/663131/65 "2013-07-11T15:56:14Z")
I get unprovoked erections when I’m hungover. Now imagine being a student where you had to stand up when answering questions… ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2013, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awkward-erections/663131/66 "2013-07-11T15:57:03Z")
> [@Longshanks](#): > > I meant situations like when holding a baby or something. …yes. Stupid haywire teenage hormones. ---
**Author:** ![Ellen\_Cherry](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellen_cherry/32/3600_2.png) [@Ellen\_Cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellen_Cherry)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2013, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awkward-erections/663131/67 "2013-07-11T16:01:39Z")
> [@Machine\_Elf](#): > > Do women ever suffer the analogous condition, i.e. arousal in a public setting that results in a glistening wet spot on their pants/shorts? Let’s take care not to devolve into Penthouse Forum territory, shall we? ---
**Author:** ![corkboard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@corkboard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/corkboard)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2013, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awkward-erections/663131/68 "2013-07-11T17:12:53Z")
My family went on a ski trip. One morning before breakfast I was sitting in the living room of the place we had rented, everyone was milling about prepping their gear and what-not. I was wearing sweatpants with boxers underneath. My 4-year old nephew came over and sat on my lap and asked me to read him a book. About half-way through, Mr. Happy noticed contact, and woke up. It was morning, after all. I quickly suggested we both sit on the floor, criss-cross-applesauce style, next to each other. I finished the book that way. I do not, and never have, become aroused at the thought of young boys, related to me or otherwise. It was just the circumstances of clothing and time of day that brought it on. I’m the only one that was aware of it, but it was awkward. ---
**Author:** ![Ellen\_Cherry](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellen_cherry/32/3600_2.png) [@Ellen\_Cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellen_Cherry)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2013, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awkward-erections/663131/69 "2013-07-11T17:40:40Z")
> [@Machine\_Elf](#): > > Do women ever suffer the analogous condition, i.e. arousal in a public setting that results in a glistening wet spot on their pants/shorts? Since there’s been some spotlight on this question, I’ll go ahead and give a sort-of answer, speaking as a woman (and not as a moderator!) And that is, for women, a much more real concern in the spotting department is the failure of feminine protection products, which can cause a way more visible spot, and in way more volume. I can honestly say that whatever might be going on down there when I see something sexy would never actually be of enough volume to stain or dampen clothing visibly. Fighting ignorance! ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2013, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awkward-erections/663131/70 "2013-07-11T17:52:06Z")
So it’s preferable to be tumescent than endometreotic? (I learned early that the nuns are less likely to slap potty-mouths if they have a grudging respect for breadth of vocabulary) ---
**Author:** ![Machine\_Elf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/82dd89/32.png) [@Machine\_Elf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Machine_Elf)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2013, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awkward-erections/663131/71 "2013-07-11T17:53:55Z")
> [@Ellen\_Cherry](#): > > Let’s take care not to devolve into Penthouse Forum territory, shall we? Sorry if my language seemed salacious; I suppose I could have left the word “glistening” out of it. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2013, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awkward-erections/663131/72 "2013-07-11T20:41:31Z")
> [@corkboard](#): > > , criss-cross-applesauce style, I have never heard this before so I googled it and and the first hit was urban dictionary. It has three entries. The first two say it’s another term for sitting indian style. The third says it means crossing the streams into water so the water turns yellow and churns like applesauce. ---
**Author:** ![Curiosity\_Kills\_Her](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8c91f0/32.png) [@Curiosity\_Kills\_Her](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Curiosity_Kills_Her)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2013, 5:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awkward-erections/663131/73 "2013-07-12T05:24:16Z")
> [@Siam\_Sam](#): > > We’ll assume this was not a lap-dance situation. Most assuredly not. ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2013, 6:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awkward-erections/663131/74 "2013-07-12T06:33:48Z")
Not me, but Anthony Wiener did. OP, is that you? 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Enkel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/df705f/32.png) [@Enkel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enkel)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2013, 11:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awkward-erections/663131/75 "2013-07-12T11:00:26Z")
> [@BubbaDog](#): > > Well I thought nominating Sarah Palin for the VP slot kind of made that election a bit Awkward. For example when she… > > …What? … > > …Erection!?.. > > never mind Is that you Senator McCain? ---
**Author:** ![11811](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/1/9d8465/32.png) [@11811](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/11811)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2013, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awkward-erections/663131/76 "2013-07-12T18:53:59Z")
I once put up a building on property I did not own. **Awk** ward! ---
**Author:** ![EmilyG](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/emilyg/32/364_2.png) [@EmilyG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EmilyG)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2013, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awkward-erections/663131/77 "2013-07-12T18:56:30Z")
> [@Ellen\_Cherry](#): > > Since there’s been some spotlight on this question, I’ll go ahead and give a sort-of answer, speaking as a woman (and not as a moderator!) And that is, for women, a much more real concern in the spotting department is the failure of feminine protection products, which can cause a way more visible spot, and in way more volume. I can honestly say that whatever might be going on down there when I see something sexy would never actually be of enough volume to stain or dampen clothing visibly. > > Fighting ignorance! Hmm, I wonder how a thread on awkward, umm, hygiene product failures would fare on this board… On second thought, maybe I don’t wanna know. 😛 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awkward-erections/663131.md?page=3)