# AWKWARD...facebook friend request from wierd girl at work with crush on me... **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 10, 2009, 6:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awkward-facebook-friend-request-from-wierd-girl-at-work-with-crush-on-me/485195 "2009-02-10T06:51:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 8\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![phouka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c5a1d2/32.png) [@phouka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phouka)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2009, 7:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awkward-facebook-friend-request-from-wierd-girl-at-work-with-crush-on-me/485195/41 "2009-02-11T07:16:47Z")
“I got your friend request, but I decided not to accept it because I don’t want to send you any mixed signals. I think it’s best if I behave in a professional-only manner towards you so that there aren’t any misunderstandings.” ---
**Author:** ![Lizard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@Lizard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lizard)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2009, 7:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awkward-facebook-friend-request-from-wierd-girl-at-work-with-crush-on-me/485195/42 "2009-02-11T07:53:57Z")
I have not read this entire thread. But from personal experience, I can tell the OP that this girl fits into a distinct type I have seen before, the Delusional Young Woman. A DYW fits exactly the details provide: She thinks you’re into her when you’re not, she interprets all your actions in this light, and she usually starts to act weird for inexplicable reasons as a result. She might be nasty and rude, to show you she’s “not interested.” I must say, what the girl in the OP has done is a variation I’ve never seen before. She might genuinely like the OP but these situations can get ugly fast, and if it’s someone you work with, a guy should be VERY careful and cover his ass at all times. She has the means to seriously damage you if you cross her, and one of the hallmarks of the DYW is their ability and willingness to do just that. I think the OP should absolutely NOT friend this woman on Facebook, nor should he keep associating with her outside of work. For good measure, he should not even be in a room alone with her for at least the next two years. Be perfectly civil to her in person, perhaps even extra civil, but don’t provide any explanation. If she asks, don’t say you want to be “friends.” (Do you really want/need a friend who acts weird and makes you feel awkward?) Say you work together, and don’t want your personal life to interfere with your job (which is or should be true anyway). Then, refuse to discuss the matter ever again. And be glad you are no longer in the same department. I’ve seen the careers and reputations of guys who really did very little to deserve it get ruined in situations like this. Seriously, don’t be stupid: Keep this chick at arm’s length. ---
**Author:** ![BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bcef8e/32.png) [@BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2009, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awkward-facebook-friend-request-from-wierd-girl-at-work-with-crush-on-me/485195/43 "2009-02-15T04:53:37Z")
What’s the good word, **ready**? ---
**Author:** ![An\_Gadai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@An\_Gadai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Gadai)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2009, 5:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awkward-facebook-friend-request-from-wierd-girl-at-work-with-crush-on-me/485195/44 "2009-02-15T05:01:45Z")
Show her this thread. ---
**Author:** ![Bolt\_the\_Nut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@Bolt\_the\_Nut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bolt_the_Nut)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2009, 6:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awkward-facebook-friend-request-from-wierd-girl-at-work-with-crush-on-me/485195/45 "2009-02-15T06:13:38Z")
Might this girl’s name be Kelly Kapor? ---
**Author:** ![Quartz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quartz/32/267_2.png) [@Quartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quartz)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2009, 8:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awkward-facebook-friend-request-from-wierd-girl-at-work-with-crush-on-me/485195/46 "2009-02-15T08:46:24Z")
Just a thought, but you might want to advise your manager at work about the situation, just in case she takes things further. Just keep things simple: “I’ve just found out that X in Department Y has a crush on me. I’ve told her I’m not interested and would like to keep things professional.” ---
**Author:** ![Huerta88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/82dd89/32.png) [@Huerta88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Huerta88)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2009, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awkward-facebook-friend-request-from-wierd-girl-at-work-with-crush-on-me/485195/47 "2009-02-15T17:54:08Z")
> [@Lizard](#): > > I have not read this entire thread. But from personal experience, I can tell the OP that this girl fits into a distinct type I have seen before, the Delusional Young Woman. A DYW fits exactly the details provide: She thinks you’re into her when you’re not, she interprets all your actions in this light, and she usually starts to act weird for inexplicable reasons as a result. She might be nasty and rude, to show you she’s “not interested.” I must say, what the girl in the OP has done is a variation I’ve never seen before. She might genuinely like the OP but these situations can get ugly fast, and if it’s someone you work with, a guy should be VERY careful and cover his ass at all times. She has the means to seriously damage you if you cross her, and one of the hallmarks of the DYW is their ability and willingness to do just that. > > I think the OP should absolutely NOT friend this woman on Facebook, nor should he keep associating with her outside of work. For good measure, he should not even be in a room alone with her for at least the next two years. Be perfectly civil to her in person, perhaps even extra civil, but don’t provide any explanation. If she asks, don’t say you want to be “friends.” (Do you really want/need a friend who acts weird and makes you feel awkward?) Say you work together, and don’t want your personal life to interfere with your job (which is or should be true anyway). Then, refuse to discuss the matter ever again. > > And be glad you are no longer in the same department. I’ve seen the careers and reputations of guys who really did very little to deserve it get ruined in situations like this. Seriously, don’t be stupid: Keep this chick at arm’s length. Much to be said for this. “I like you a whole lot” is an infinitessimal distance away from “I hate you for not liking me back.” ---
**Author:** ![Ice\_Cream\_Man](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9f8e36/32.png) [@Ice\_Cream\_Man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ice_Cream_Man)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2009, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awkward-facebook-friend-request-from-wierd-girl-at-work-with-crush-on-me/485195/48 "2009-02-15T19:15:19Z")
I agree with those that said to say you don’t friend coworkers. It’s a good idea regardless of the particular situation you’re in. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/awkward-facebook-friend-request-from-wierd-girl-at-work-with-crush-on-me/485195.md?page=2)