# Babies are cute! Spring is nice!
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/babies-are-cute-spring-is-nice/231893
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [March 1, 2004, 12:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/babies-are-cute-spring-is-nice/231893 "2004-03-01T12:48:09Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Rue\_DeDay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rue_DeDay)
#### Post date: [March 1, 2004, 12:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/babies-are-cute-spring-is-nice/231893/1 "2004-03-01T12:48:09Z")
Sometimes I think about what to write. Sometimes the writing just springs out by itself. And then gets Spell Checked and I add some Random Big Letters and call it the MMP. (Monday Morning Post, ya newbie!) And _sometimes_ the writing just springs out by itself and I read it and say “Whoa! Ain’t gonna post _that_!” Not even with Random Big Letters. This is one of those “Option 3” weeks. I have something I wrote, but you don’t get to see it. It’s a little too dark. And a little twisted. There’s death, destruction and Muppets. You don’t need to be seeing that sort of thing. So instead you get this Much Safer thread. Because I don’t want to be hauled off and thrown in a padded cell and have my children taken away and my Permanent Record marked up with red, permanent marker: “Icky. Keep this one away from a computer!” That would suck.
This weekend we went and saw our Best Friends in the Whole World. They just had a baby and we had to go look at her. By “just had” I mean “the day after Christmas”. But it wasn’t our fault! The kids were sick. All of them. Our two and then their two. (Now three, but I didn’t count the baby because we were worried about getting her sick, not getting sick from her. I mean she’s just a baby, how sick could we get?) But we finally got to see the little bug. Wow is she cute. She slept a lot. Then she woke up, looked around and went back to sleep. Well, she didn’t go right back to sleep. First she vomited on me. That was nice.
You know what? I don’t want another baby. (Not that it’s really an option unless we get a store-bought kid.) They are cute and all, but I’ve done my time. Been there, done that, have the puke-stained t-shirt. There’s no going back for me. Nuh-uh. But other people’s kids are cute. But then so are puppies. And puppies housebreak easier. Did you ever see a dog with braces? (The teeth braces, not any other kind.) I didn’t think so. But I did see a cat with earrings once. That was a little weird.
That was Saturday. Sunday I abandoned my wife and children and went walking around. It was such a nice day and everything. I played “Find the Trail” in Yellow Springs, Ohio. “Why does that sound familiar?” you ask. Because that’s where I tried to have the failed Fall Hike. Even though I printed up signs and everything. But we had our hot chocolate and that had to be good enough. But that was then, yesterday was very nice. Even if it was a little muddy. I walked around until I found half a bridge. Really, it was only half a bridge. There used to be the whole covered bridge, but when they made a lake they had to move the bridge and the new place only needed half of it. Actually it didn’t _need_ any of it since there was a perfectly good concrete bridge there already. But they saved half of the hundred year old bridge anyway. It gave the local kids something to spray paint. And the local kids with spray paint aren’t very clever. Although Kelly apparently is a bitch. I can’t say myself since Kelly wasn’t there when I was. But someone felt strongly enough to spray paint it on the bridge. So I’m thinking she must not be very nice.
Before I was done walking I found the Grotto. It was special. It was, as one child so delightfully called it, “a cave with water!” I think that sums the whole Grotto experience up nicely.
So remember: Babies are cute and spring is nice. That’s the Official MMP. So don’t even be wondering about that other thing. And if you e-mail me asking for the other thing, don’t be surprised if I ignore you and don’t send it to you. And if I do send it to you, don’t even read it. And if you read it don’t blame me. I warned you.
-Rue.
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### Author:  [@Exgineer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exgineer)
#### Post date: [March 1, 2004, 1:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/babies-are-cute-spring-is-nice/231893/2 "2004-03-01T13:00:53Z")
“I mean she’s just a baby, how sick could we get?”
Look, buddy, the only time I got sick this winter was when I caught something from my sister’s kid when she sneezed in my eye. It was some kind of nasty ick that her Dad brought back from China and passed on to her. So I got nasty Chinese ick. From a baby.
As far as the bit about Spring goes, I don’t like to get too optimistic until the end of March but things sure got all melty around here this weekend.
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### Author:  [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)
#### Post date: [March 1, 2004, 1:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/babies-are-cute-spring-is-nice/231893/3 "2004-03-01T13:07:34Z")
Aw, geez, **Rue** , you’ve really sunk low this time. What a cheezy way to get email. I’m so embarrassed for you… :o
Babies are cute - especially other people’s. My future grandchildren will be adorable, especially if they don’t come till after my kid finishes college. They will, of course, be **ThePerfectGrandchildren[sup]TM[/sup]** and they won’t puke or anything.
It was springlike here yesterday also - I had the windows open to let spring in. I also noticed that there are weeds a’plenty in my garden. But by the end of this month, it won’t be my garden any more, so that’s good. I’ll yank the biggest, meanest ones, but it’ll be up to Sam and Sarah, the new owners, to deal with them at that point. Yay.
I found 5 tissues under my monitor. Apparently, when I grab one to daintily dab my nose, I set it down on the desk in front of my monitor. Then it migrates. Others follow. Hence the 5 lightly dabbed tissues crumpled beneath my monitor. Maybe I should wear long sleeves instead.
Happy March to all MMPers! 😃
[sub]PS - I know you have my email address. hint hint[/sub]
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### Author:  [@Rue\_DeDay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rue_DeDay)
#### Post date: [March 1, 2004, 1:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/babies-are-cute-spring-is-nice/231893/4 "2004-03-01T13:20:51Z")
Oh yeah! And the one time I want to remember to put up my (currently mysterious yet soon to make some sort of sense) sig, I forget.
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### Author:  [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)
#### Post date: [March 1, 2004, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/babies-are-cute-spring-is-nice/231893/5 "2004-03-01T14:34:38Z")
Well, it’s a good thing you went hiking yesterday since today the weather’s looking more like our last failed attempt. Just not as cold. I need to go out in it and run some errands, but The Boy was sick on Saturday (his birthday, poor little guy), and then a bit yesterday and just on the edge of danger today so I decided to keep him home. Never send a six year old to school with not-quite-resolved diarroeha, I always say. At least the vomiting was short lived. We did have cake and ice cream and presents yesterday, which may have been pushing it, but he was not to be denied.
On Friday I drove back from Atlanta again, having met **Labdad** who is such a cool guy I just can’t say enough. Drove right past the Stuckeys stores this time though, since I was keen to get home.
And best yet, in April I get to meet **FairyChatMom** , which will be an experience unrivaled in the history of meeting up with Dopers! (There I go, building up the high expectations again). It will be her “Farewell from Florida” Dopefest, but also, sort of, if she doesn’t mind, my “Hello (again) to Florida” Dopefest. Maybe even **Misstee** will be there. And there are others, but then you have to check out the other thread to see all of the surprises in store.
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### Author:  [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)
#### Post date: [March 1, 2004, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/babies-are-cute-spring-is-nice/231893/6 "2004-03-01T14:39:57Z")
Okay, here’s a [link to the thread about **FairyChatMom** ’s going away Dopefest and General Good Times-a-thon](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=240695) to be held on April 24th at Rainbow Springs (near Ocala) Florida. I think the illustrious **Swampbear** is going to show hisself there, too, so it’s really heavy on the MMPers participation points. All the cool kids are going to be there.
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### Author:  [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)
#### Post date: [March 1, 2004, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/babies-are-cute-spring-is-nice/231893/7 "2004-03-01T14:42:31Z")
> [@ShibbOleth](#):
>
> And best yet, in April I get to meet **FairyChatMom** , which will be an experience unrivaled in the history of meeting up with Dopers! (There I go, building up the high expectations again).
Dang, **Shibb** , nothing like building yourself up for major disappointments!! You’ve already met **Rue** - how can I possibly compare? OK, I probably look better in an evening gown, but that would be it. Unless **Rue** scores a really hot gown…
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### Author:  [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)
#### Post date: [March 1, 2004, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/babies-are-cute-spring-is-nice/231893/8 "2004-03-01T14:47:53Z")
He looks okay in the simple stuff from Vera Wang, but he really can’t pull off the more trendy stuff by Versace or Chanel. Simple, elegant lines is always the way for **Rue** to go. Of course, what he loses in the evening gown he makes up in the talent part of the competition.
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### Author:  [@Krisfer\_the\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Krisfer_the_Cat)
#### Post date: [March 1, 2004, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/babies-are-cute-spring-is-nice/231893/9 "2004-03-01T17:17:47Z")
Spring?
_looks out window_ Nope 6 inches of snow from the weekend (well 3 inches of it is ice) and another storm later this week…
I’m sorry Spring has been cancelled this year…
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### Author:  [@Kallessa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kallessa)
#### Post date: [March 1, 2004, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/babies-are-cute-spring-is-nice/231893/10 "2004-03-01T17:58:15Z")
> [@FairyChatMom](#):
>
> Babies are cute - especially other people’s. My future grandchildren will be adorable, especially if they don’t come till after my kid finishes college. They will, of course, be **ThePerfectGrandchildren[sup]TM[/sup]** and they won’t puke or anything.
My neice and her husband are planning are having this same **PerfectKid**. According to them, their child will: sleep through the night right away, learn to read immediately, never want the same book read to them more than once, never cry, never get whiny, always have perfect manners, instinctively hate Disney movies and never want to watch TV. It’s just a matter of good parenting, you know. I’m hoping they have twins. Evil twins.
Simple elegance does suit **Rue** , but in a deep, backless dress he would really stand out. Give the man his due, he can pull off a really daring style and still be elegant. It’s his bone structure, I think.
Spring in the Pacific Northwest means that the sun shines long enough for you to dare to think the whole day will be sunny, so you leave the house without a coat, and then, in the short time it takes to run into the dry cleaners, it starts to pour down rain. With half the sky still without a cloud, no less. Great rainbows, though.
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### Author:  [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)
#### Post date: [March 1, 2004, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/babies-are-cute-spring-is-nice/231893/11 "2004-03-01T18:42:11Z")
Yep, **Shibb** my illustrious self does intend to show up at **FairyChatMom’s** goodbye soiree. After all us MMP cool kids must see and be seen.
I’m glad **Rue** can do backless. I can’t. Too much back hair. Same with plunging necklines. Too much chest hair. So the best I can do is a scoop neck. I can, however, pull off sequins.
I have an almost one year old great puke factory… err… nephew. I have two great nieces and three other great nephews but they’re kinda outta the puke factory stage.
It’s 75 degrees and sorta sunny here right now. The weather people call it partly cloudy but I like sorta sunny better. They also say partly sunny, but if there’s clouds at night they don’t say partly moony. Wonder why that is? Any meteorologists out there care to explain it?
Oh, before I forget, I’m running away again. I’m leaving Wednesday for Michigan for two days then to Tucson, AZ over the weekend for some indoctrination, also know as continuing education. I won’t be back til Tuesday next week. I tell y’all this cause I know I get missed somethin’ terrible when I don’t post. Maybe **FCM** can find some more tissues under her monitor to give everybody who’s gonna get all sniffly when I’m not here. Ask nice and she might.
-swampbear (ramblin’ on and on today)
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### Author:  [@Rue\_DeDay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rue_DeDay)
#### Post date: [March 1, 2004, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/babies-are-cute-spring-is-nice/231893/12 "2004-03-01T19:55:38Z")
You must be proud of your sibling’s progeny **Swampy** , saying how “great” they are and all. But do you have any “merely adequate” neices or nephews? I don’t. My siblings refuse to reproduce. It’s because they’ve seen my kids. They know they can’t measure up.
And quit pulling off the sequins. The clothes are supposed to be sparkley. If you pull them all off, the clothes will just look a little nubby. No one wants that.
Sorry to hear about your weather woes **Krisfer**. Spring got recalled here too. It’s back in the shop getting some work done. I hope they paint flames on the sides. That would be so cool. Just about anything looks better with flames on the sides.
**Ex** , there’s a simple rule you don’t seem to quite grasp. When something is flying towards your face, close your eyes. Even if that something is baby propelled mucous. _Especially_ if it’s baby propelled mucous.
-Rue. (with flames painted on my sides)
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### Author:  [@lightingtool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lightingtool)
#### Post date: [March 1, 2004, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/babies-are-cute-spring-is-nice/231893/13 "2004-03-01T20:07:18Z")
I like spring too, but it’s kind of hard to tell when it happens out here in (not so) Sunny California. Um, babies … Oh! A good friend of mine just had one of those! He sent me pictures and everything. It’s a girl (his second) and I was informed by the gf that it’s a cute baby, although it looks a little weird to me. Evidently, it also follows the sleep/puke schedule. It’s kind of weird to see all my drinkin’ buddies from college getting hitched and having kids. We’re all only around 27 years old, fer cryin out loud.
I wish I could go to Florida for the big Fest. Everybody who goes has to have some sort of tropical fruity drink for me, or maybe just a beer.
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### Author:  [@Ashes\_Ashes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ashes_Ashes)
#### Post date: [March 1, 2004, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/babies-are-cute-spring-is-nice/231893/14 "2004-03-01T20:18:48Z")
Spring sprung out, off and on, around here all winter. Last weekend was freezy rain non-stop and this weekend was so perfect it was declared illegal to be inside. I flaunted the law (which is why my right foot is sore) and went to a twelve hour baby shower for my cousin. I was glad there was alcohol, lemmee tellya, cause that’s a lot more baby junk than I’m used to. There was only one baby at the shower though, and it was fresh out of the box with creases on it’s face from being cooped up inside mom, practically. The baby wore a fetching green beanie and barfed on no one.
What flavor is your darkness **Rue**? Mine is a sort of chalky papaya. Which is surprising because I was expecting bitter and definitely nothing tropical.
**Swampbear** , when you’re in Tucson you have to say hi to my mom. Just sort of shout it out at random, I’m sure she’ll hear you. Be careful about which cute boys you might kiss, my cousin has mono, we just found out. Not to imply that you go around smootching folks at random, though maybe the world would be a more joyful place if we did. You first though.
Anyway, you hardly hear about people getting mono these days, or is it because I’m not a teenager anymore? Nasty stuff that, it’s only redeeming quality is weight loss and I’d rather just cut out sweets or something instead.
I’ll stop now. What is it about MMPs that encourage me to prattle like a goofus?
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### Author:  [@scout1222](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scout1222)
#### Post date: [March 1, 2004, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/babies-are-cute-spring-is-nice/231893/15 "2004-03-01T20:28:29Z")
A 12 hour baby shower? Oh my God, that may well be my own personal version of hell. Except mine would probably include a swarm of angry bees.
And snakes. There’d probably be snakes.
And a continuous loop of “Lovin’ You”, “Macarena” and “Who Let the Dogs Out?” playing in the background.
And maybe some mushrooms, too…
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### Author:  [@Exgineer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exgineer)
#### Post date: [March 1, 2004, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/babies-are-cute-spring-is-nice/231893/16 "2004-03-01T20:45:01Z")
All right **Rue**. I’m a big man and I’m willing to admit that I share at least some responsibility in the sneezing incident.
That does NOT change the fact that I had BABY SNOT on my EYEBALL!!!
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### Author:  [@The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Devil_s_Grandmother)
#### Post date: [March 2, 2004, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/babies-are-cute-spring-is-nice/231893/17 "2004-03-02T00:31:54Z")
> [@Rue DeDay](#):
>
> … But do you have any “merely adequate” neices or nephews? I don’t.
I do! Is there anyway to trade up?
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### Author:  [@Kallessa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kallessa)
#### Post date: [March 2, 2004, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/babies-are-cute-spring-is-nice/231893/18 "2004-03-02T00:50:09Z")
> [@Exgineer](#):
>
> That does NOT change the fact that I had BABY SNOT on my EYEBALL!!!
Another way to avoid this situation is the wear glasses. I, for example, have never had baby snot in my eye, although my glasses have been sprayed. My eye remeined inviolated.
I was once a a baby showere where the mom-to-be and her (domineering) sister got into a shouting match over whether or not it was “proper” to paint the baby’s room green. Sister was quite emphatic that only pink or blue were acceptable, and that, not only would the baby fail to thrive if put into a green (or anyother non-pink or blue color) room, heaven forbid that a boy baby is given a pink room or vice versa! These women were in their 20s and the sister really seemed to believe that there was some scientific reason for the pink/blue designations!
The fight was fun, but we had to wait for the crying mom-to-be to get her act together and freshen up before the cake was served (and I sure wasn’t going to leave before the cake!).
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### Author:  [@Bumbazine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bumbazine)
#### Post date: [March 2, 2004, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/babies-are-cute-spring-is-nice/231893/19 "2004-03-02T01:02:56Z")
We had dinner at the GirlChild and Hubby’s place last night and got to play with the Grandbaby, A.K.A. number 2 Grandson. He’s 10 months old now and starting to display some personality, outside of being a processing facility for various fluids.
He’s definately big on throwing up on people. And other things too. But he’s kinda cute.
The (big) kids are on the Atkins diet though, so all we had was boneless, skinless chicken breasts and a green salad w/ shrimps and semi-hard boiled eggs. The GirlChild has never really gotten this cooking thing down as well as she should have. But it’s okay. They had asparagus also, but if it doesn’t have cheese sauce, I pretend it doesn’t exist.
Oh and **Ashes[sup]2[/sup]**, prattling like a goofus is sorta the point of the MMP, don’t ya know?
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### Author:  [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)
#### Post date: [March 2, 2004, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/babies-are-cute-spring-is-nice/231893/20 "2004-03-02T01:31:54Z")
> [@Rue DeDay](#):
>
> I have something I wrote, but you don’t get to see it. It’s a little too dark. And a little twisted. There’s death, destruction and Muppets. You don’t need to be seeing that sort of thing. So instead you get this Much Safer thread. Because I don’t want to be hauled off and thrown in a padded cell and have my children taken away and my Permanent Record marked up with red, permanent marker: “Icky. Keep this one away from a computer!” That would suck.
You’ve got to take some risks, Rue. Besides, even if you do post you death muppets story, they’re still going to hunt me down and take me away first for yesterday’s LJ entry [http://www.livejournal.com/users/elfkin477/](http://www.livejournal.com/users/elfkin477/) so that should give you time to run away whilst they’re busy.
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