# Babies in microwaves **URL:** \ **Category:** Cecil's Columns/Staff Reports\ **Created:** [November 19, 2009, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/babies-in-microwaves/518194 "2009-11-19T20:30:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2009, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/babies-in-microwaves/518194/1 "2009-11-19T20:30:01Z")
The column: [Did a stoned babysitter once microwave a baby? - The Straight Dope](http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/194/did-a-stoned-babysitter-once-microwave-a-baby) It happened in Ohio four years ago, too, alas: [404 Not Found | wkyc.com](http://www.wkyc.com/news/news_article.aspx?storyid=124017) ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2009, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/babies-in-microwaves/518194/2 "2009-11-20T16:15:01Z")
Babies. The OTHER white meat. ---
**Author:** ![bibliophage](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bibliophage/32/7615_2.png) [@bibliophage](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bibliophage)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2009, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/babies-in-microwaves/518194/3 "2009-11-20T17:12:40Z")
Not a microwave, but in Auburn, Maine, in 1984, a man named John Lane cooked to death his girlfriend’s four-year-old daughter in an electric oven. He has claimed he was under the influence of drugs and was convinced the girl had to be thrown into “the lake of fire” to exorcise her of demonic possession. He was convicted of murder and sentenced to life without parole. The mother was tried for manslaughter for her role in the death, but she was acquitted. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2009, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/babies-in-microwaves/518194/4 "2009-11-20T17:23:32Z")
[Happened in Texas too](http://news.sky.com/skynews/Home/World-News/Father-Sentenced-For-Microwaving-Daughter-In-Galveston-Texas/Article/20080341310880?lpos=World_News_Article_Related_Content_Region_5&lid=ARTICLE_1310880_Father_Sentenced_For_Microwaving_Daughter_In_Galveston,_Texas). The baby didn’t die but was badly injured. ---
**Author:** ![Bootis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e8c25b/32.png) [@Bootis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bootis)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2009, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/babies-in-microwaves/518194/5 "2009-11-20T17:54:16Z")
Thankfully this wont be an issue in the future. I recall reading that all microwaves made since 2003 have some sort of fail safe mechanism that prevents human babies from being microwaved on any power level higher than defrost ---
**Author:** ![Canadjun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/76d3ee/32.png) [@Canadjun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Canadjun)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2009, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/babies-in-microwaves/518194/6 "2009-11-20T21:20:20Z")
> [@Bootis](#): > > Thankfully this wont be an issue in the future. I recall reading that all microwaves made since 2003 have some sort of fail safe mechanism that prevents human babies from being microwaved on any power level higher than defrost I suspect that is a whoosh, but on the chance it isn’t, how is a microwave going to be able to detect the difference between a baby and a roast? ---
**Author:** ![gazpacho](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/6f9a4e/32.png) [@gazpacho](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gazpacho)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2009, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/babies-in-microwaves/518194/7 "2009-11-20T23:26:36Z")
> [@Canadjun](#): > > I suspect that is a whoosh, but on the chance it isn’t, how is a microwave going to be able to detect the difference between a baby and a roast? Obviously it has a sensor to detect the baby crying. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2009, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/babies-in-microwaves/518194/8 "2009-11-21T01:26:59Z")
> [@Bootis](#): > > Thankfully this wont be an issue in the future. I recall reading that all microwaves made since 2003 have some sort of fail safe mechanism that prevents human babies from being microwaved on any power level higher than defrost That should come in handy in Alaska. ---
**Author:** ![rivermystic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/71c47a/32.png) [@rivermystic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rivermystic)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2009, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/babies-in-microwaves/518194/9 "2009-11-24T20:55:26Z")
There is one movie you do not want to see, and that is _**Philosophy of a Knife (2008)**_. It is a based-on-reality “documentary” of how the japanese experimented on the Russians during the Second World War. Seriously though, don’t watch it, its pretty gruesome, brings to mind the horrors of the Nazis. And then I went to the hospital and saw that most of the X-Ray and other radiation machines are made by the Japanese, makes me wonder how they figured out how much people can be exposed to. We all know the Nazis advanced medical knowledge due to their experiments. Anyways, don’t download it (it’s available in torrent form) and most important of all - don’t watch it, cuz it’ll give you nightmares. ---
**Author:** ![Kenyth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/c68b51/32.png) [@Kenyth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kenyth)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2009, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/babies-in-microwaves/518194/10 "2009-11-25T14:27:52Z")
The horrors some people subject children to make me sick and furious. It brings tears to the eye. I just don’t understand it. ---
**Author:** ![SiXSwordS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/49beb7/32.png) [@SiXSwordS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SiXSwordS)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2009, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/babies-in-microwaves/518194/11 "2009-11-25T23:15:02Z")
> [@gazpacho](#): > > Obviously it has a sensor to detect the baby crying. It’s very similar to the temperature probe. ---
**Author:** ![outlierrn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/outlierrn/32/3005_2.png) [@outlierrn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/outlierrn)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2009, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/babies-in-microwaves/518194/12 "2009-11-26T02:40:16Z")
> [@rivermystic](#): > > We all know the Nazis advanced medical knowledge due to their experiments. . Do we? I remember a thread awhile back on that very subject and there didn’t seem to be any actual useful results. I’d say it’s correct to call them experiments, because they tested actual hypothesis\* but I don’t know if there are any advances because of them. Just askin’ \*Albeit stupid ones. ---
**Author:** ![Irishman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b487fb/32.png) [@Irishman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Irishman)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2009, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/babies-in-microwaves/518194/13 "2009-11-27T16:41:13Z")
According to these sites there was useful medical knowledge gained, though some of it was rather specific. [http://www.shoah.dk/doctors/experiments.htm](http://www.shoah.dk/doctors/experiments.htm) This site briefly summarizes experiments, including altitude simulations using pressure chambers, how long people live and how they die during freezing, and methods to rewarm someone nearly frozen. Also, treatment methods for mustard gas injuries and incendiary bomb wounds from phosphorous, tests of the effectiveness of sulfanilamide on infected wounds, and malaria drugs. All of these were tested by inflicted the injuries/infections deliberately and then testing the medications/treatments. Apparently they also studied the effects of various poisons on the body by feeding them to victims. > **[Medical Experiments of the Holocaust and Nazi Medicine - The Holocaust History...](http://remember.org/educate/medexp)** > > The Nazi doctors who conducted medical experiments of the Holocaust violated the trust placed in them. The truth is the doctors escaped their crimes. This site gives a bit more detail on the freezing experiments and experiments performed on twins. In particular, it describes various methods for rewarming frozen people and that the most successful was a slow warming bath rather than rapid heating. Also, body heat was used with some success (including sex), but wasn’t as successful as the warm baths. So yes, there was useful medical data gathered. ---
**Author:** ![Sloane\_Cabot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc8723/32.png) [@Sloane\_Cabot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sloane_Cabot)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2009, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/babies-in-microwaves/518194/14 "2009-11-27T16:48:34Z")
> [@](#): > > The conviction came during a second trial; the first ended in a mistrial. Are you kidding me. The lady almost got away with it! Ide be interested in knowing more facts of the case. Any help out there… ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2009, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/babies-in-microwaves/518194/15 "2009-11-27T16:56:14Z")
Whenever I hear about a baby-in-a-microwave-oven story, I can’t help but think of a recipe in a cookbook I got in the '80s – for [Roastit [sic] Bubbly Jock](http://www.rampantscotland.com/recipes/blrecipe_bubblyjock.htm). It’s just the name, you know? ---
**Author:** ![md2000](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/73ab20/32.png) [@md2000](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/md2000)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2009, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/babies-in-microwaves/518194/16 "2009-11-27T18:53:17Z")
I think one of Robin Williams’ earliest records had the Mister Rogers parody: “Let’s put mister hamster in the microwave… Pop goes the weasel! That’s severe radiation, boys and girls. Can you say ‘Severe Radiation’?” (some drunk in the front row gives it a try…) “Ah knew you could.”