# Baby I want you in the worst way possible... **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 17, 2002, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baby-i-want-you-in-the-worst-way-possible/109491 "2002-05-17T03:49:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![racer72](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/racer72/32/3075_2.png) [@racer72](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racer72)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2002, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baby-i-want-you-in-the-worst-way-possible/109491/41 "2002-05-19T04:03:02Z")
Having sex with Sandpaper Sally. There was a girl in my high school nicknamed Sandpaper Sally. She was known as the easiest girl in school. A nerdy new kid transferred to the school and we set up a date with Sally and him. The next day we asked him how the date went and he said fine. They went to a movie then had something to eat. Then they went to her house because no one was home. They started kissing and pretty soon they both knew where it was heading. She excused herself and told him to take off his clothes. 5 minutes, 10 minutes, 15 minutes passed and she was still in the bathroom. Finally after 20 minutes she came back to her bedroom and told him she had a surprise for him. Because he was such a nice guy she wanted to do something special for him. She said that she spent all the time in the bathroom picking all her scabs and draining the puss from honey hole so she would not hurt him. šŸ˜ƒ ---
**Author:** ![The\_Mermaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@The\_Mermaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mermaid)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2002, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baby-i-want-you-in-the-worst-way-possible/109491/42 "2002-05-19T04:45:01Z")
ewww gross and an old joke. I heard it as ā€œcorncobā€ Sally because she used a corncob to clean and sand uhm area. ---
**Author:** ![Cosmopolitan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/94ad74/32.png) [@Cosmopolitan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cosmopolitan)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2002, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baby-i-want-you-in-the-worst-way-possible/109491/43 "2002-05-19T21:23:24Z")
**racer72** , that is hideous. Thank you for that imagery. As for the question posed in the OP; I suspect my wheelchair would be a pretty sucky place to attempt copulation. ---
**Author:** ![Daowajan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3bc359/32.png) [@Daowajan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daowajan)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2002, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baby-i-want-you-in-the-worst-way-possible/109491/44 "2002-05-19T21:55:32Z")
COVERED IN BEES!!! ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2002, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baby-i-want-you-in-the-worst-way-possible/109491/45 "2002-05-19T22:48:33Z")
with that hairy oily guy in _Austin Powers 3_. ---
**Author:** ![Minor\_Irritant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e495f1/32.png) [@Minor\_Irritant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Minor_Irritant)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2002, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baby-i-want-you-in-the-worst-way-possible/109491/46 "2002-05-20T00:23:49Z")
I canā€™t believe nobodyā€™s mentioned this yetā€¦ ā€œThatā€™d be in the butt, Bob.ā€ ---
**Author:** ![HerMajestyLorna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/7cd45c/32.png) [@HerMajestyLorna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HerMajestyLorna)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2002, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baby-i-want-you-in-the-worst-way-possible/109491/47 "2002-05-20T00:41:59Z")
With Fat Bastard. In a vat of live worms. ---
**Author:** ![fish\_in\_the\_sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/7ba0ec/32.png) [@fish\_in\_the\_sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fish_in_the_sky)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2002, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baby-i-want-you-in-the-worst-way-possible/109491/48 "2002-05-20T01:07:18Z")
in a barrel full of Icy Hot in the mall during Chirstmas season with a rabid grizzely bear. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2002, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baby-i-want-you-in-the-worst-way-possible/109491/49 "2002-05-20T01:12:00Z")
With Englebert Humperdinck!!! šŸ˜› ---
**Author:** ![nashiitashii](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/7c8e57/32.png) [@nashiitashii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nashiitashii)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2002, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baby-i-want-you-in-the-worst-way-possible/109491/50 "2002-05-20T01:20:34Z")
with a mace covered in the most painful spikes ever invented, and a few fish hooks embedded in it- barbs outā€¦ covered in hot sauceā€¦ after youā€™ve been thoroughly sandpapered raw. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Mermaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@The\_Mermaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mermaid)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2002, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baby-i-want-you-in-the-worst-way-possible/109491/51 "2002-05-20T03:04:52Z")
I want the man that could still maintain interest after being subjected to the Mirrored Indingo Shadows treatment, cause _that_ would be one hell of a man. ---
**Author:** ![Opengrave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/919ad9/32.png) [@Opengrave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Opengrave)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2002, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baby-i-want-you-in-the-worst-way-possible/109491/52 "2002-05-20T15:20:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Snooooopy \* > \*\*Iā€™m not sure Smoove B would approve of any of this. \*\* That was exactly my though. I mean if Iā€™m going to freak someone nasty there better be corn served! ---
**Author:** ![white-tigeress](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f475e1/32.png) [@white-tigeress](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/white-tigeress)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2002, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baby-i-want-you-in-the-worst-way-possible/109491/53 "2002-05-20T23:15:30Z")
U dreaming Austin Power 3!!! Where when and how ?? ;\_) ---
**Author:** ![white-tigeress](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f475e1/32.png) [@white-tigeress](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/white-tigeress)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2002, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baby-i-want-you-in-the-worst-way-possible/109491/54 "2002-05-20T23:15:30Z")
U dreaming Austin Powesr 3!!! Where when and how ?? šŸ˜‰ ---
**Author:** ![Koxinga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/4af34b/32.png) [@Koxinga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Koxinga)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2002, 10:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baby-i-want-you-in-the-worst-way-possible/109491/55 "2002-05-21T10:40:47Z")
In a threesome with T. Herman Zweibel. ---
**Author:** ![thinksnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thinksnow/32/2849_2.png) [@thinksnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thinksnow)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2002, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baby-i-want-you-in-the-worst-way-possible/109491/56 "2002-05-21T13:56:55Z")
With **JDT** supervising. In **PRISM02** s [store](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=30135). For that matter, **[Arnold](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=30135&perpage=50&pagenumber=4)** store wouldnā€™t be much better! With **[heatherlee](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=15773)**. _edited by UB to fix URL tags_ ---
**Author:** ![The\_Mermaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@The\_Mermaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mermaid)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2002, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baby-i-want-you-in-the-worst-way-possible/109491/57 "2002-05-22T00:47:22Z")
LMAO think, I had forgotten all about that thread and Arnoldā€™s skillful hijacling thereof. Too funny. But as for heatherleeā€“Iā€™ll never know. The link doesnā€™t work. And JDTā€“he knows things, thatā€™s all Iā€™ll say. He knows things. ---
**Author:** ![SpartanDC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b2d939/32.png) [@SpartanDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SpartanDC)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2002, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baby-i-want-you-in-the-worst-way-possible/109491/58 "2002-05-22T00:54:29Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Snooooopy \* > \*\*Iā€™m not sure Smoove B would approve of any of this. \*\* _Also_ my thoughts exactly. šŸ˜ƒ > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Cervaise_ > **Itā€™s one thing to be confronted with a floating sphere of Tang; itā€™s another thing entirely to expect your crewmates to duck the drifting spunk.** LOL!! Can I _please_ have permission to use this as a sig? ---
**Author:** ![The\_Mermaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@The\_Mermaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mermaid)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2002, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baby-i-want-you-in-the-worst-way-possible/109491/59 "2002-05-22T02:42:11Z")
Ok I give up, who or what the hell is Smoove B??? ---
**Author:** ![SpartanDC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b2d939/32.png) [@SpartanDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SpartanDC)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2002, 6:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baby-i-want-you-in-the-worst-way-possible/109491/60 "2002-05-22T06:22:29Z")
lolā€¦ **Mermaid** , Smoove B is one of the many regular columnists for The Onion. He tries to come off as a total playa/ladies man, but in reality heā€™s a very low budget and long-winded playa-wannabe. If you go to the Onionā€™s archives you can read most of his columns. Theyā€™re quite, quite funny. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baby-i-want-you-in-the-worst-way-possible/109491.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baby-i-want-you-in-the-worst-way-possible/109491.md?page=4)