# Baby I want you in the worst way possible... **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 17, 2002, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baby-i-want-you-in-the-worst-way-possible/109491 "2002-05-17T03:49:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Opengrave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/919ad9/32.png) [@Opengrave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Opengrave)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2002, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baby-i-want-you-in-the-worst-way-possible/109491/61 "2002-05-22T13:24:17Z")
[Smoove B](http://www.theonion.com/archive/archive_smooveb.html) ---
**Author:** ![Kiki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/dc4da7/32.png) [@Kiki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kiki)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2002, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baby-i-want-you-in-the-worst-way-possible/109491/62 "2002-05-22T13:31:54Z")
On the roof of a high rise that’s been freshly tarred on a hot hot hot July day! ---
**Author:** ![cmkeller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmkeller/32/118_2.png) [@cmkeller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmkeller)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2002, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baby-i-want-you-in-the-worst-way-possible/109491/63 "2002-05-22T15:16:37Z")
[weird al]In a swimming pool full of double-edged razor blades…[/weird al] ---
**Author:** ![The\_Mermaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@The\_Mermaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mermaid)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2002, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baby-i-want-you-in-the-worst-way-possible/109491/64 "2002-05-22T17:40:28Z")
It was with a little fear and trepidation that I started out to find out who is Smooove B really. I felt a stir of excitement when he informed me that he did indeed [got what I need](http://www.theonion.com/onion3408/gotwhatyouneed.html). All I gotta say is Smoove, you had me at cloth napkins. Why do I get the feeling that letting Mr. B. “stick it in me in most romantic way possible” could turn out to be the ultimate worst way possible? ---
**Author:** ![robinh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b77776/32.png) [@robinh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robinh)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2002, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baby-i-want-you-in-the-worst-way-possible/109491/65 "2002-05-22T17:40:59Z")
How about a real-life scenario? (…happened to a friend of ours…) On your wedding night while in the throes of a full-body attack of poison ivy. ---
**Author:** ![Broodha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7c8e57/32.png) [@Broodha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broodha)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2002, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baby-i-want-you-in-the-worst-way-possible/109491/66 "2002-06-27T15:21:46Z")
Inside of a giant fig newton. Damn fig newtons… ---
**Author:** ![Canyon\_Surfer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Canyon\_Surfer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Canyon_Surfer)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2002, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baby-i-want-you-in-the-worst-way-possible/109491/67 "2002-06-27T16:41:54Z")
In absentia 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Kaotic\_Newtral](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/71e660/32.png) [@Kaotic\_Newtral](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kaotic_Newtral)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2002, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baby-i-want-you-in-the-worst-way-possible/109491/68 "2002-06-27T17:11:22Z")
On a floor full of broken lightbulbs and thumbtacks. ---
**Author:** ![IcicleFuzz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/ba8739/32.png) [@IcicleFuzz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IcicleFuzz)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2002, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baby-i-want-you-in-the-worst-way-possible/109491/69 "2002-06-28T04:25:23Z")
In an iron maiden, covered in lemon juice. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2002, 4:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baby-i-want-you-in-the-worst-way-possible/109491/70 "2002-06-28T04:43:28Z")
Hehehe…that’s some funny shit! Although after reading his columns, I have an enormous urge to scrub myself with industrial strength Clorox and a brillo pad. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2002, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baby-i-want-you-in-the-worst-way-possible/109491/71 "2002-06-28T04:45:48Z")
am i the only one who is rhyming these to Green Eggs and Ham??? ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2002, 6:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baby-i-want-you-in-the-worst-way-possible/109491/72 "2002-06-28T06:07:07Z")
_snicker_ BTW, I noticed, Smooove B seems to have an obsession with corn. What’s up with that? ---
**Author:** ![The\_Mermaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@The\_Mermaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mermaid)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2002, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baby-i-want-you-in-the-worst-way-possible/109491/73 "2002-06-29T01:13:40Z")
How about on top of the torch on the Statue of Liberty?😃 Perched on the edge of the Grand Canyon?:eek: On top of the Golden gate Bridge?:o On top of the Gateway Arch in St Louis? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Nightsong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nightsong/32/3083_2.png) [@Nightsong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nightsong)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2002, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baby-i-want-you-in-the-worst-way-possible/109491/74 "2002-06-29T02:06:12Z")
Against an electric fence… :eek:! In a patch of aloe… In a room with a mic attached to a public address system, and not knowing the mic was ‘live’… …and having your maiden Aunt/Grandparents/Parents/current SO/or friends who would never let you forget about this listening… In a vat full of menthol shaving cream… After peeling a lot of hot peppers with your bare hands… * * * \<\< “My classmates would copulate with anything that moved, but I never saw any reason to limit myself.” — Emo Philips \>\> ---
**Author:** ![11811](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/1/9d8465/32.png) [@11811](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/11811)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2002, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baby-i-want-you-in-the-worst-way-possible/109491/75 "2002-06-29T02:08:55Z")
on a pile of rusty carpet-tacks while wearing my Dick Cheyney mask ---
**Author:** ![The\_Mermaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@The\_Mermaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mermaid)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2002, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baby-i-want-you-in-the-worst-way-possible/109491/76 "2002-06-29T14:05:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Nightsong \* > \*\* > In a room with a mic attached to a public address system, and not knowing the mic was ‘live’… > > In a vat full of menthol shaving cream… > \*\* I dunno these two ways, although kinky would definitely be doable. (just keep that menthol away from the pink parts.) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baby-i-want-you-in-the-worst-way-possible/109491.md?page=3)