# Baby It's Cold Outside - date rapey? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 12, 2016, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baby-its-cold-outside-date-rapey/774546 "2016-12-12T20:04:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Dinsdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/97f17d/32.png) [@Dinsdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dinsdale)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2016, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baby-its-cold-outside-date-rapey/774546/1 "2016-12-12T20:04:29Z")
Sorry if this is discussed elsewhere, but search was being uncooperative. Saw an article in the paper the other day about some folk who wrote new lyrics to the song **Baby It’s Cold Outside** to remove the “date-rapey” elements. Characterized the original as simply unacceptable today. Never crossed my mind. So whaddya think? I think such an attitude is silly. What next - **Deck the Halls** is about some homosexual named Donald? 😉 Also sorry if this is better suited somewhere other than CS. I thought that since it concerned a song… ---
**Author:** ![Skammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skammer/32/143_2.png) [@Skammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skammer)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2016, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baby-its-cold-outside-date-rapey/774546/2 "2016-12-12T20:13:51Z")
Yes, it’s been discussed here before, and I agree with those who say that the song has not aged well. I love the song, mind you, but it definitely doesn’t play as well in the 2010s as it did in the 1960s. Here’s a funny attempt to make it a little less creepy to modern sensibilities: [- YouTube](https://youtu.be/ZSf6DughV3A) _I really can’t stay_ Baby, I’m fine with that _I’ve got to go 'way_ Baby I’m cool with that … _I wish I new how to break this spell_ I don’t know what you’re talking about … _The neighbors might think_ That you’re a real nice girl _Say, what’s in this drink?_ Pomegranate La Croix ---
**Author:** ![Jophiel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jophiel/32/66_2.png) [@Jophiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jophiel)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2016, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baby-its-cold-outside-date-rapey/774546/3 "2016-12-12T20:14:52Z")
No. It’s obviously just fun play with plausible deniability (“At least I tried…”) She wants to nail him as much as he wants to nail her but the morals of the day prevent her from saying “Yeah, let’s screw” so they play this little game and use the weather as an excuse for her to overnight at his house. People today have too much time on their hands. ---
**Author:** ![Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df705f/32.png) [@Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maggie_the_Ocelot)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2016, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baby-its-cold-outside-date-rapey/774546/4 "2016-12-12T20:23:38Z")
It has not aged well. I’m not a fan. ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2016, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baby-its-cold-outside-date-rapey/774546/5 "2016-12-12T20:25:07Z")
The only problem I have with the song is that the core idea here is that a woman’s protestations don’t need to be taken seriously as they don’t actually mean them. The song itself is playful banter but it normalizes in a small way bad social behavior. That being said, I think the reversioning that is making waves right now is terrible. ---
**Author:** ![Skammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skammer/32/143_2.png) [@Skammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skammer)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2016, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baby-its-cold-outside-date-rapey/774546/6 "2016-12-12T20:38:10Z")
> [@Inner\_Stickler](#): > > That being said, I think the reversioning that is making waves right now is terrible. Terrible if you take it seriously. I didn’t think it was really meant to be taken seriously. And in that case, it’s pretty funny. ---
**Author:** ![WOOKINPANUB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wookinpanub/32/132_2.png) [@WOOKINPANUB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WOOKINPANUB)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2016, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baby-its-cold-outside-date-rapey/774546/7 "2016-12-12T20:39:01Z")
> [@Jophiel](#): > > No. It’s obviously just fun play with plausible deniability (“At least I tried…”) > > She wants to nail him as much as he wants to nail her but the morals of the day prevent her from saying “Yeah, let’s screw” so they play this little game and use the weather as an excuse for her to overnight at his house. > > People today have too much time on their hands. Right. How this seems to go over peoples’ heads is beyond me. It’s one of my favorites and I pray I never have the misfortune to hear whatever pussified (yep, I said it) version some idiot came up with. ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2016, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baby-its-cold-outside-date-rapey/774546/8 "2016-12-12T20:40:14Z")
[An earlier thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=544168). ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2016, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baby-its-cold-outside-date-rapey/774546/9 "2016-12-12T20:40:59Z")
Perhaps if more singers covered it (and this song seems to be the most covered Christmas song in recent years) [with reversed gender roles](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_hEJQbEYjRg) it might again be perceived as the playful back-and-forth it once was. FTR, I have no problem with the song as it is, but I do see how it could be taken the wrong way in certain light with a bit of squinting. ---
**Author:** ![Dinsdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/97f17d/32.png) [@Dinsdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dinsdale)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2016, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baby-its-cold-outside-date-rapey/774546/10 "2016-12-12T20:43:15Z")
Yeah **Skammer** , that’s the version they referred to in the story. I guess my opinion all along was same as **Joph’s** [ she wanted it as badly as he did - or, at the very least, she required very little persuading. I guess this old fogey would use the term “date rape” in far more limited instances than some folk. If someone can search better than my machine is allowing right now, I’d appreciate reading what other have said in the past. ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2016, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baby-its-cold-outside-date-rapey/774546/11 "2016-12-12T21:00:09Z")
It used to be you could tell when the Christmas season was here by the Salad Shooter and Singing Santa commercials. Now it’s when the discussion of this song reappears on the Dope. ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2016, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baby-its-cold-outside-date-rapey/774546/12 "2016-12-12T21:04:00Z")
To me, it’s the line “Say, what’s in this drink?” that really opens the song to a creepy, “date-rapey” interpretation in today’s post-roofie, post-Cosby society. ---
**Author:** ![Dinsdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/97f17d/32.png) [@Dinsdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dinsdale)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2016, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baby-its-cold-outside-date-rapey/774546/13 "2016-12-12T21:09:07Z")
**Thelma** I hadn’t heard of it before the article in the paper the other day, nor had any of the 5 people I mentioned it to. ---
**Author:** ![bump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7c8e57/32.png) [@bump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bump)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2016, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baby-its-cold-outside-date-rapey/774546/14 "2016-12-12T21:17:51Z")
> [@Inner\_Stickler](#): > > The only problem I have with the song is that the core idea here is that a woman’s protestations don’t need to be taken seriously as they don’t actually mean them. The song itself is playful banter but it normalizes in a small way bad social behavior. The song’s harmless. It’s just trying to portray exactly what \*\*Jophiel \*\*says, in a sort of cheeky way, and the protestations are meant to be cheeky as well. Not in a “don’t take no for an answer” kind of way, but in a playful banter kind of way. Today’s PC crowd make it sound like people are expected to go out on dates, go back to someone’s apartment and the following happens: Man: “My dear, would you like to engage in coitus?” Woman: “Why, indeed I do! Let me fellate you with great alacrity first!” \ as if there’s no ambiguity, or wooing/winning to be done, just clear, concise unsexy language. ---
**Author:** ![somepumpkin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7feea3/32.png) [@somepumpkin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/somepumpkin)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2016, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baby-its-cold-outside-date-rapey/774546/15 "2016-12-12T21:18:43Z")
> [@Jophiel](#): > > \ > She wants to nail him as much as he wants to nail her but the morals of the day prevent her from saying “Yeah, let’s screw” so they play this little game and use the weather as an excuse for her to overnight at his house. > \ This is how I’ve always understood it. ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2016, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baby-its-cold-outside-date-rapey/774546/16 "2016-12-12T21:28:29Z")
A few days back I was shopping in a local non-chain grocery store that always plays Christian music over the sound system. They played _Baby It’s Cold Outside_. I thought it was pretty funny–like the people who play _Born in the USA_ as a patriotic song. ---
**Author:** ![Skammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skammer/32/143_2.png) [@Skammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skammer)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2016, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baby-its-cold-outside-date-rapey/774546/17 "2016-12-12T21:33:42Z")
Well, yes, of course the original song is supposed to be playful and coy. That’s why it’s so charming. I don’t think anyone misunderstands the intent. No one is saying “boy, they were a lot more tolerant of date rape back then!” (Maybe they were, but that’s not what’s going on in the song as has been correctly pointed out). But, a dry reading of the lyrics today - out of the context of the time in which it was written - contains certain unintentional triggers. The “what’s in this drink” is one, but so is the man’s constant attempts to redirect the conversation from her leaving to her staying. When I say “date-rapey” I want to emphasize that I know it’s not really a date rape song. It’s fun and charming. But if that song originally appeared in 2014 instead of 1944 (I just looked it up), it would raise a few eyebrows. I think the “updated” version I linked to above is funny the same way that it’s funny to take profanity-laden clips from move and replace all the swear words with cheesy G-rated euphemisms. Not because there was something wrong with the original, but because the cleaned-up version is so hilariously earnest. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2016, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baby-its-cold-outside-date-rapey/774546/18 "2016-12-12T21:37:31Z")
> [@Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](#): > > It has not aged well. I’m not a fan. Eh, just give it a few more years. “Mommy, what’s ‘cold’?” “Quiet, child! We must hurry to reach the Underground before the dust storms come.” ---
**Author:** ![Junior\_Spaceman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/eb8c5e/32.png) [@Junior\_Spaceman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Junior_Spaceman)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2016, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baby-its-cold-outside-date-rapey/774546/19 "2016-12-12T21:42:24Z")
This song is one for the list of works of art that have changed their meaning irrevocably through time passing and events intervening, so even though it was an innocent song about flirting when it was written, it isn’t that anymore. Another example is the [Marx Brothers book burning scene](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UoUgF4oB4qk), which at the time was just meant to evoke a gleeful anti-establishment attitude, but in the wake of events of only a few years later, it’s almost impossible now to not be jolted out of the comedy. ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2016, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baby-its-cold-outside-date-rapey/774546/20 "2016-12-12T21:44:27Z")
> [@bump](#): > > Today’s PC crowd make it sound like people are expected to go out on dates, go back to someone’s apartment and the following happens: > > Man: “My dear, would you like to engage in coitus?” > Woman: “Why, indeed I do! Let me fellate you with great alacrity first!” > \ This reminds me of an old SNL skit. There doesn’t seem to be a clip available, but there is [a transcript](http://snltranscripts.jt.org/93/93bdaterape.phtml). ([Context](http://snltranscripts.jt.org/93/93bdaterape.phtml).) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baby-its-cold-outside-date-rapey/774546.md?page=2)