# Baby Jesus Goes On a Bender
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baby-jesus-goes-on-a-bender/221584
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [December 29, 2003, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baby-jesus-goes-on-a-bender/221584 "2003-12-29T14:36:23Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)
#### Post date: [December 29, 2003, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baby-jesus-goes-on-a-bender/221584/1 "2003-12-29T14:36:23Z")
(1010 WINS) (Plainview) A statue of the Baby Jesus has been returned to a Plainview, Long Island church after it was missing for part of the weekend. The statue was reported missing from the Nativity scene at Saint Pius The Tenth Roman Catholic Church after the five pm mass on Saturday. Monsignor Domenick Graziadio says a parishioner who was bike riding saw the statue in a gutter on Washington Avenue, about one block from the church on Sunday morning. Graziadio says the statue had a scrape on the head and the knee.
—Jesus, Jesus, Jesus. It’s those shepherds he’s been hanging around with. Bad influence.
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### Author:  [@plnnr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/plnnr)
#### Post date: [December 29, 2003, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baby-jesus-goes-on-a-bender/221584/2 "2003-12-29T14:46:42Z")
“Drink ye all of this; for this is my Blood of the New Testament, which is shed for you, and for many, for the remission of sins. Do this, as oft as ye shall drink it, in remembrance of me, but only if you were born before this date in 1982 and have proper ID.”
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### Author:  [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)
#### Post date: [December 29, 2003, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baby-jesus-goes-on-a-bender/221584/3 "2003-12-29T14:55:42Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by plnnr \*
> \*\*“Drink ye all of this; for this is my Blood of the New Testament, which is shed for you, and for many, for the remission of sins. Do this, as oft as ye shall drink it, in remembrance of me, but only if you were born before this date in 1982 and have proper ID.” \*\*
SPLORK!!
Gee, thanks. I just nased Coke all over my keyboard when I read that. When will I ever learn to not read STMB while drinking?
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### Author:  [@liirogue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/liirogue)
#### Post date: [December 29, 2003, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baby-jesus-goes-on-a-bender/221584/4 "2003-12-29T15:19:03Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by plnnr \*
> \*\*“Drink ye all of this; for this is my Blood of the New Testament, which is shed for you, and for many, for the remission of sins. Do this, as oft as ye shall drink it, in remembrance of me, but only if you were born before this date in 1982 and have proper ID.” \*\*
😃 hehe I didn’t see that coming (and neither did my monitor) :o
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### Author:  [@TheLoadedDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheLoadedDog)
#### Post date: [December 29, 2003, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baby-jesus-goes-on-a-bender/221584/5 "2003-12-29T16:43:58Z")
> [@](#):
>
> When will I ever learn to not read STMB while drinking?
Heh. 😃
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### Author:  [@if6was9](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/if6was9)
#### Post date: [December 29, 2003, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baby-jesus-goes-on-a-bender/221584/6 "2003-12-29T16:47:06Z")
Why doesn’t that baby Jesus call? For all we know he could be face-down in a gutter somewhere.
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### Author:  [@Casey1505](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Casey1505)
#### Post date: [December 29, 2003, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baby-jesus-goes-on-a-bender/221584/7 "2003-12-29T16:55:41Z")
Ah, the scourge of alcoholism. I guess this is Jesus’ cross to bear.
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### Author:  [@Francesca](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Francesca)
#### Post date: [December 29, 2003, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baby-jesus-goes-on-a-bender/221584/8 "2003-12-29T19:53:59Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Casey1505 \*
> \*\*Ah, the scourge of alcoholism. I guess this is Jesus’ cross to bear. \*\*
I hear he’s a martyr to it.
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### Author:  [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)
#### Post date: [December 29, 2003, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baby-jesus-goes-on-a-bender/221584/9 "2003-12-29T20:26:45Z")
I’d preferred not to think of the Blood of Christ as having come from a kneecap.
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### Author:  [@Already\_in\_Use](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Already_in_Use)
#### Post date: [December 29, 2003, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baby-jesus-goes-on-a-bender/221584/10 "2003-12-29T21:34:51Z")
So THAT’S what he was doing between the ages of twelve and thirty! Guess the partying is plentiful when you can turn water into booze at will.
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### Author:  [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)
#### Post date: [December 29, 2003, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baby-jesus-goes-on-a-bender/221584/11 "2003-12-29T22:04:09Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by lieu \*
> \*\*I’d preferred not to think of the Blood of Christ as having come from a kneecap. \*\*
_Dominus meniscus…_
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### Author:  [@BarnOwl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BarnOwl)
#### Post date: [December 29, 2003, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baby-jesus-goes-on-a-bender/221584/12 "2003-12-29T22:24:57Z")
Shame on you, Eve, for mocking Jesus. And shame on the rest of you, as well.
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### Author:  [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)
#### Post date: [December 29, 2003, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baby-jesus-goes-on-a-bender/221584/13 "2003-12-29T23:13:11Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Antiochus \*
> \*\*Shame on you, Eve, for mocking Jesus. And shame on the rest of you, as well. \*\*
Well, we’re not the ones who got him drunk and told him he could get a cheap squeeze from his date by hiding his dong in a bag of popcorn.
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### Author:  [@raz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/raz)
#### Post date: [December 29, 2003, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baby-jesus-goes-on-a-bender/221584/14 "2003-12-29T23:26:47Z")
Oh hell, **Antiochus** , lighten up. What do you really expect from the fine people that frequent these message boards?
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### Author:  [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)
#### Post date: [December 30, 2003, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baby-jesus-goes-on-a-bender/221584/15 "2003-12-30T00:27:30Z")
Surely **Antiochus** is just joking with us right? Just a big ‘whoosh’ 🙂
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### Author:  [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)
#### Post date: [December 30, 2003, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baby-jesus-goes-on-a-bender/221584/16 "2003-12-30T01:06:02Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Antiochus \*
> \*\*Shame on you, Eve, for mocking Jesus. And shame on the rest of you, as well. \*\*
Oh, please. It would be just as funny if it were a statue of Santy Claus or the Easter Bunny or Buddha.
OK, well, maybe not _just_ as funny . . .
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### Author:  [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)
#### Post date: [December 30, 2003, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baby-jesus-goes-on-a-bender/221584/17 "2003-12-30T01:13:12Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Eve \*
> \*\*Monsignor Domenick Graziadio says a parishioner who was bike riding saw the statue in a gutter on Washington Avenue, about one block from the church on Sunday morning. \*\*
So now we know the answer to that eternal question, WWJV?
Answer: In the gutter
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### Author:  [@Horseflesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horseflesh)
#### Post date: [December 30, 2003, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baby-jesus-goes-on-a-bender/221584/18 "2003-12-30T04:05:30Z")
I’ll bet he was crying, got lost, and tripped over a leper.
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### Author:  [@Already\_in\_Use](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Already_in_Use)
#### Post date: [December 30, 2003, 7:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baby-jesus-goes-on-a-bender/221584/19 "2003-12-30T07:14:43Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Antiochus \*
> \*\*Shame on you, Eve, for mocking Jesus. And shame on the rest of you, as well. \*\*
OK, since the Jeez is apparently off limits, guess it’s time to mock **Antiochus**!
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### Author:  [@Terrorcotta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terrorcotta)
#### Post date: [December 30, 2003, 12:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baby-jesus-goes-on-a-bender/221584/20 "2003-12-30T12:49:41Z")
Oh. I thought the title of this thread was “Baby Jesus goes in a blender.”
Never mind.
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