# Baby Jesus Goes On a Bender **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 29, 2003, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baby-jesus-goes-on-a-bender/221584 "2003-12-29T14:36:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2003, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baby-jesus-goes-on-a-bender/221584/21 "2003-12-30T13:59:02Z")
I’ve heard that reformed sinners make the best Christians. **Antiochus** : There was an old Saturday Night Live bit where Lorne Michael’s was told “You can’t give noogies to the Virgin Marry.” He replied: That’s not the Virgin Mary. That’s Gilda Radner playing Lisa Looger playing the Virgin Mary with a pie plate on her head. ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2003, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baby-jesus-goes-on-a-bender/221584/22 "2003-12-30T16:31:29Z")
[http://www.toledoblade.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20031230/NEWS10/112300066](http://www.toledoblade.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20031230/NEWS10/112300066) ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2003, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baby-jesus-goes-on-a-bender/221584/23 "2003-12-30T16:49:13Z")
“Sorry I took your baby Jesus. It was a childish prank,” the perpetrator said in a handwritten note. “As far as his new color, I thought I would point out that Jesus was not an Aryan but actually a man of color. Although you probably knew this but would rather not be reminded.” The thief added that the paint job was “not some sort of racial thing … actually I’m white. But I know what color Jesus was.” —It wasn’t so much the paint job they minded, but he was now rigged up to get down on one knee and sing “Mammy” . . . ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2003, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baby-jesus-goes-on-a-bender/221584/24 "2003-12-30T16:50:03Z")
I thought you were suppossed to shellac _after_ the staining. ---
**Author:** ![gobear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2003, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baby-jesus-goes-on-a-bender/221584/25 "2003-12-30T16:56:27Z")
Does this mean that Jesus has to sit at the back of the church now? And if **Antiochus** was serious . . Puh_leeze_, sugar. Aftger all the crap you Jeezers inflict on others, you can jolly well take a little ribbing. ---
**Author:** ![Uvula\_Donor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/e19adc/32.png) [@Uvula\_Donor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uvula_Donor)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2003, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baby-jesus-goes-on-a-bender/221584/26 "2003-12-30T17:58:29Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Eve \* > **"Sorry I took your baby Jesus. It was a childish prank," the perpetrator said in a handwritten note. “As far as his new color, I thought I would point out that Jesus was not an Aryan but actually a man of color. Although you probably knew this but would rather not be reminded.” The thief added that the paint job was "not some sort of racial thing … actually I’m white. But I know what color Jesus was."** He replaced the Baby Jesus with \*a lawn jockey[/1]??! :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2003, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baby-jesus-goes-on-a-bender/221584/27 "2003-12-30T17:59:49Z")
Why is that plaster Jesus dressed up as a jockey? A reference to that “White Horse” bit from Revelation? ---
**Author:** ![Uvula\_Donor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/e19adc/32.png) [@Uvula\_Donor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uvula_Donor)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2003, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baby-jesus-goes-on-a-bender/221584/28 "2003-12-30T17:59:57Z")
Crap. Way to screw up a post. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2003, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baby-jesus-goes-on-a-bender/221584/29 "2003-12-30T18:02:49Z")
Steal my thunder, will you, **Uvula**? Stop that, lest I smite thee. ---
**Author:** ![Uvula\_Donor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/e19adc/32.png) [@Uvula\_Donor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uvula_Donor)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2003, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baby-jesus-goes-on-a-bender/221584/30 "2003-12-30T20:09:40Z")
Verily, thou hast smote me already, **Larry** , forcing my fingers to mistype my italics! I am in awe of thy craft! ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2003, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baby-jesus-goes-on-a-bender/221584/31 "2003-12-31T17:58:29Z")
Around here, vandals have the decency to replace the purloined Baby Jesus with a bathroom scale. Even though the Kid is gone, you can still **get a weigh in a manger.** ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2003, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baby-jesus-goes-on-a-bender/221584/32 "2003-12-31T18:07:58Z")
Bend It With Bejeezus? ---
**Author:** ![Ponder\_Stibbons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponder_stibbons/32/343_2.png) [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2003, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baby-jesus-goes-on-a-bender/221584/33 "2003-12-31T18:08:12Z")
Ouch! That’s gotta be better than getting **a whey in the manger**. Unless, of course, you’re a Kurd. (Where’s that wincing smiley?) ---
**Author:** ![Casey1505](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dc4da7/32.png) [@Casey1505](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Casey1505)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2003, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baby-jesus-goes-on-a-bender/221584/34 "2003-12-31T18:32:56Z")
The Bible did say he was visited by [Three Wise Men.](http://www.drinksmixer.com/drink1521.html) ---
**Author:** ![DaveX](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/96bed5/32.png) [@DaveX](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DaveX)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2003, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baby-jesus-goes-on-a-bender/221584/35 "2003-12-31T20:51:13Z")
“Is this really the blood of Christ? Man, this guy must have been tanked 24-7…” - The Family Guy ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2004, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baby-jesus-goes-on-a-bender/221584/36 "2004-01-01T03:34:08Z")
And I thought it was funny when my dad said some little boy at church tried to take Baby Jesus home with him! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baby-jesus-goes-on-a-bender/221584.md?page=1)