# Baby Jesus Wept **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 10, 2004, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baby-jesus-wept/279118 "2004-12-10T13:53:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Catamount](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/catamount/32/2840_2.png) [@Catamount](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catamount)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2004, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baby-jesus-wept/279118/1 "2004-12-10T13:53:17Z")
We’ve often spoken of doing it, and now it has been done. You bad people have made the [baby Jesus cry.](http://objective.jesussave.us/babyj.html) Just in time for his birthday, too. I hope you’re all proud of yourselves. ---
**Author:** ![Antigen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/848f3c/32.png) [@Antigen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antigen)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2004, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baby-jesus-wept/279118/2 "2004-12-10T13:59:19Z")
If my savior is _that_ creepy, I’m converting. Besides, I can’t make him cry. He just looks at me funny for a while. So I guess I’m not evil after all. Nyah nyah! ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2004, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baby-jesus-wept/279118/3 "2004-12-10T14:00:13Z")
Apparently, the Baby Jesus: Likes – having his chin tickled. Dislikes – a mouse pointer to the eyeball. Guess I really can’t say I blame him, though. ---
**Author:** ![Genghis\_Bob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/45deac/32.png) [@Genghis\_Bob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Genghis_Bob)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2004, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baby-jesus-wept/279118/4 "2004-12-10T14:01:47Z")
Hah! I \*knew \* it! Jesus has blue eyes! ---
**Author:** ![JeffB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jeffb/32/188_2.png) [@JeffB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JeffB)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2004, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baby-jesus-wept/279118/5 "2004-12-10T14:08:02Z")
At first I thought the ad at the bottom had an amusing link name: [useabeliever.com](http://www.useabeliever.com/). Then I saw their slogan: > [@](#): > > Because I don’t want my money supporting non-Christians Boy, that’s sure the Christian spirit! ---
**Author:** ![welby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/d78d45/32.png) [@welby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/welby)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2004, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baby-jesus-wept/279118/6 "2004-12-10T14:17:41Z")
I think it’s only fair that I make baby jebus cry, especially since he’s hawking stuff like [this.](http://www.cafepress.com/babyjesushead.12089894?) I mean damn, all that work finding a nice Christian girl, getting her drunk, and then discovering she’s wearing something like that. ---
**Author:** ![the\_Lady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bb73d2/32.png) [@the\_Lady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the_Lady)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2004, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baby-jesus-wept/279118/7 "2004-12-10T14:18:14Z")
Baby Jesus also doesn’t like a mouse pointer up the nose. ---
**Author:** ![phall0106](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/phall0106/32/5934_2.png) [@phall0106](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phall0106)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2004, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baby-jesus-wept/279118/8 "2004-12-10T14:23:44Z")
How creepy. His eyes are _following me!!!_ ---
**Author:** ![PinkMarabou](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ec9cab/32.png) [@PinkMarabou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PinkMarabou)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2004, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baby-jesus-wept/279118/9 "2004-12-10T15:42:46Z")
That has to be the creepiest thing I’ve seen in a while. The loud whispering “WHY?” just freaked me out, I thought someone was behind me. ---
**Author:** ![velvetjones](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/5f9b8f/32.png) [@velvetjones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/velvetjones)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2004, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baby-jesus-wept/279118/10 "2004-12-10T15:54:41Z")
I think Baby Jesus is stuck on auto pilot, he laughed when I poked him in the eye and stuck the mouse pointer up his nose. Then he cried when I tickled his chin and patted his head then that big WHY … Why on earth would anyone think this sort of web site was a good thing? Is this really supposed to convert non-believers? ---
**Author:** ![Jenaroph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e8c25b/32.png) [@Jenaroph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jenaroph)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2004, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baby-jesus-wept/279118/11 "2004-12-10T16:32:28Z")
If you poke him in the eyes a lot in rapid succession, it sounds like a kid’s toy laser gun. This site is hysterical - did you read the product description on the Anti-Fornication Thong? “These thongs are made for strutting!” Bwah hahaha! ---
**Author:** ![EmeraldGrue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dc4da7/32.png) [@EmeraldGrue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EmeraldGrue)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2004, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baby-jesus-wept/279118/12 "2004-12-10T18:58:54Z")
> [@velvetjones](#): > > Why on earth would anyone think this sort of web site was a good thing? Is this really supposed to convert non-believers? Erm, it’s a spoof - a really, really good one. BTW can anyone actually make him cry, or does he just make those little “ow” noises? I want tears dammit. ---
**Author:** ![MLS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/919ad9/32.png) [@MLS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MLS)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2004, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baby-jesus-wept/279118/13 "2004-12-10T23:46:13Z")
> [@EmeraldGrue](#): > > Erm, it’s a spoof - a really, really good one. > > BTW can anyone actually make him cry, or does he just make those little “ow” noises? I want tears dammit. No, I am sure it is not a spoof. Follow some of the links. They’re serious, all right. But it sure is creeeeepppy. I didn’t get tears, either, but after a while he just scrinched his eyes up real tight. ---
**Author:** ![screech-owl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@screech-owl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/screech-owl)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2004, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baby-jesus-wept/279118/14 "2004-12-10T23:58:13Z")
Could be my speakers, but I’m getting just a “beedoop” for the laughing and a “pshooo” for the crying, not “Why?” anywhere (just like **Jenaroph** ’s laser . Overall, it looks like a bad rendition of the “Teletubbies” sunbaby. ---
**Author:** ![EmeraldGrue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dc4da7/32.png) [@EmeraldGrue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EmeraldGrue)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2004, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baby-jesus-wept/279118/15 "2004-12-11T01:28:35Z")
> [@MLS](#): > > No, I am sure it is not a spoof. Follow some of the links. They’re serious, all right. > > But it sure is creeeeepppy. > > I didn’t get tears, either, but after a while he just scrinched his eyes up real tight. No. Really. I swear that site is a spoof. It may link to legit fundie sites but _it’s_ not the real thing. See [Macs](http://objective.jesussave.us/propaganda.html), [Hinduism](http://objective.jesussave.us/kidz.html) for starters. ---
**Author:** ![betenoir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2004, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baby-jesus-wept/279118/16 "2004-12-11T02:29:52Z")
> [@MLS](#): > > No, I am sure it is not a spoof. Follow some of the links. They’re serious, all right. Well yeah. And on the serious site that’s linked there’s a disclaimer saying they’re not affiliated with “Baby Jesus” and they in no way support the distastful parody material on that website. So…spoof. ---
**Author:** ![Standup\_Karmic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac91a4/32.png) [@Standup\_Karmic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Standup_Karmic)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2004, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baby-jesus-wept/279118/17 "2004-12-11T02:46:24Z")
Spoof proof: Every one of the “members” has something to do with “Fellowship”. They attend or teach at Fellowship University, went to Fellowship High School, are pastor at Fellowship Baptist Church, etc. One member, Fred “Skeek” Hoskins is in charge of Zounds Youth Rock Ministry. The Zounds page lists upcoming concerts (crap! I missed the Hanukkah Hoedown. > [@](#): > > Join our Jewish friends to celebrate the rootingest-tootingest Festival of Lights ever! Featuring the Country-Western-Yiddish stylings of Dwight “Billy-Bob” Liebowitz. Special lasso performances by the Cowboys for Christ team. No address anywhere for Fellowship University, Fellowship High or Mt. Fellowship Baptist Church, the church whose auditorium is the location for all Zounds performances. Spoof. Damn elaborate one, though! Well done. ---
**Author:** ![Loopydude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e56c9b/32.png) [@Loopydude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopydude)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2004, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baby-jesus-wept/279118/18 "2004-12-11T03:02:04Z")
I find if I put the mouse next to Baby Jesus’ forehead, and then swipe it quickly across his brow, I can get the disturbing “Why?” whisper to happen every time. Actually, it works no matter what part of his head you start on, with further experimentaition; just as long as you swipe quickly from one side to the other… You have to start fresh, though. If you click on him somewhere, the “Why?” seems to shut off, and you need to reload the page to get it back. ---
**Author:** ![Farmwoman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8dc957/32.png) [@Farmwoman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Farmwoman)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2004, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baby-jesus-wept/279118/19 "2004-12-11T03:49:24Z")
hmmm. this from the 'anti-fornication thong page: > [@](#): > > He is watching, always watching. Now, can anyone help me erase the image of Roz from _Montsers Inc._ sporting a baby Jesus thong? How a slug gets into a thong can be your image to wrestle. ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2004, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baby-jesus-wept/279118/20 "2004-12-11T04:09:45Z")
> [@welby](#): > > I think it’s only fair that I make baby jebus cry, especially since he’s hawking stuff like [this.](http://www.cafepress.com/babyjesushead.12089894?) I mean damn, all that work finding a nice Christian girl, getting her drunk, and then discovering she’s wearing something like that. From that website: “This undergarment will remind anyone who is tempted to fornicate to not forsake the Baby Jesus… He is watching, always watching.” Given the placement of the picture, it appears that if a girl wore that thong, Baby Jesus would be staring at her snatch all day long. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baby-jesus-wept/279118.md?page=2)