To answer your breastfeeding question might require a trip to Great Debates, but for now you can learn a little bit by checking out what Amazon has to say about the book Milk, Money, and Madness. The short answer is, formula companies have hosptials and doctors in their back pockets.
And I was 17 when my sisters were born! The little ladies are now juniors in college. <sniff sniff>
Well we just had our first July 18th…so I would second many of the suggestions. My wife has a Maya Wrap, loves it. She also has a Baby Bjorn carrier…loves it as well (stay away from the Snugli crap IMHO, you get what you pay for).
Have you check out Baby Center? They have lists of this sort of thing.
For example, here
and here
You can also try StorkNet on the web, or is you like Usenet, check our misc.kids.pregnancy
Btw, diaper pail debates are like Mac vs. PC debates…but IMHO the Diaper Champ rocks (no stinkiness at all…and it uses regular kitchen garbage bags)…stay away from the Diaper Genie.
If you want LOTS of consumer opinions…check out Epinions
As mentioned by another poster…this is a Great Debates topic. However, it’s probably not correct to say that the “medical establishment” does not support breast feeding. It is perhaps more correct to say that it you value breast feeding, you may have to “shop around” for bf friendly health care providers. It’s not going to be enough to have a bf “neutral” or “tolerant” health care provider.
We asked our midwife (CNM) for suggestions. Maeve’s pediatrician is part of a 4 doc group…but he seems to be the one who is the most bf savvy and supportive.
And really, this is one of those things that is highly dependent on where you live. I live in the midwest U.S., where the rates of bottle feeding, circumcision, and edpidural use during labor are higher , than say the coasts.
My advice is to get only what you absolutely need right away. Then, when you’ve met your baby and have a better idea of his/her temperment, you’ll have a better idea of what extras will be most useful.
Obviously, you need a carseat. Get one now and make sure it fits well in your car. Not all seats fit all cars. Then, stop by your local police department or fire station. They will be glad to check out your seat and make sure that it is installed properly. Also, do not use a second-hand seat that is more than a few years old. Car seats now come with expiration dates, because after 6 years or so the plastic will begin to degrade and it will no longer be as safe.
Babies can live in onesies (when it is warm) and footed sleepers (when it is cold). A couple cute dress-up outfits for showing off are nice. I much prefer all-cotton, no lace or scratchy stuff, and I think babies do too.
I like the kitchen sink for baby baths until they outgrow it. You don’t have to stoop over and strain your back trying to hold on to a slippery infant. Put a hand towel down first (right in the water) to make the sink less slippery.
I happened to have four babies who much preferred being held to lying down. A swing would have been useless. A simple bouncy seat was helpful once in a while, but even that didn’t get much use. They also disliked the stroller until they could sit up and look around. (So an expensive carriage-type buggy would have been useless.) My youngest was particularly high-need this way. My sling saved my life with her. I literally wore her all day until she was 6 months or so. She also never liked her crib, even though the other three used one. She just slept with us until she moved into a regular bed with her big sister.
But every baby is different. You might get one that loves the swing, in which case a more expensive one, that will stand up to lots of use, would be worth the money. I’ve known babies that hated to be in a sling. You never know.
Good luck!
Beagledave, I live in Raleigh, NC. I admit to a huge gaping hole where knowledge should be in this matter. I haven’t really talked to any medical people as to their opinions on whether ot not to breast feed. I just feel that passing on my meds would be a bad thing, other than that, I’d not mind at all. I never knew such a topic could get so contraversial.
The one I keep hearing about is whether or not to have ‘natural childbirth’ or not. This is also something I’m just learning about.
Just so you know, I’m not entirely uneducated, it’s just that for the past umpteen years, whenever the subject of pregnancy, and childbirth, and tiny infants came up, I left the room. I was the one hanging out in the garage or whatever with the guys, while all the girls chatted. So I just dunno these things.
Toys R Us has a slanted net thing that fits in a baby tub. It looks like a slide, but it’s made to support an infant that cannot sit up by themselves. I found it invaluable with both of our children.
If you need advice, I would suggest an expecting parents group on either Parents Place or BabyCenter. Parents Place was a big help when we had our son.
if you are in the store looking at all those carseats with your eyes spinning, here is an interesting tip. call on your friendly state police. most will suggest carseats and even help you with install if you are at all leary. the car seat is the most important thing you will get for your tyke after a good ped. do research and check the recall lists.
of course, i would be remiss if i didn’t recommend buying a nice rocker or glider.
We didn’t get the baby monitor (small house), or the bassinet. When MilliCal was newborn to three months old we used the port-a-crib. It had a removable section about 12" down from the top made for newborns. Saved a little bit of money that way. It was made by Graco.
Oneies are great! used them by themselves in the summer and under clothing and PJ’s in the winter. Port a crib is a must. Great for when you go the family or traveling. I wouldn’t trust the cribs that motels have. Most are old and in ill-repair. We used ours until MilliCal was two.
Actually the notion that “breastfeeding is best” in most situations is really not that controversial (the American Pediatrics Association says it) As for your medication, there are resources that can help you (and your health care provider of course) determine whether it works with breastfeeding. Especially check out Thomas Hale who is the “guru” of breastfeeding pharmacology. (please don’t interpret my post to say that you should or should not breastfeed…just that there good resources out there to help you if you decide to do that).
Another kettle o’ fish altogether ;). I posted a thread in IMHO a few months back. Long story short for mrs beagledave: no drugs for her delivery 4 weeks ago.
If you do decide to go this route…do your homework, ask questions…probably the biggest determinant in this kind of thing is who you choose as your health care provider for delivery.
I would suggest taking a look at the Sears Books on pregnancy and birth. IMHO, they cover all the important bases on pregnancy and delivery options.
Hell we’re all rookies…but it sounds like you’re getting some nice opnions here.
I find that one parents junk is often another parents dream. It really depends a lot on your lifestyle, and what your baby prefers. Having said that, I found life easier with:
A portable bassinet. I had this Fisher Price model, with the vibrations but without the sounds. The reason I loved it? I could take it from room to room, and keep the baby with me. Having coffee? Put it beside the table. Watching a movie? Put it beside the couch. Cleaning upstairs? Guess what - baby bed comes with me. I also put it beside the bed for the first few months. My baby was too small to sleep alone in her crib, and I thought it was too cramped to have her sleep with me. Beside me on the floor was perfect. I adored it. When your baby gets a little bigger than newborn, it sits up and you can put their play gym in front. It also packed up and went with me when we visited elsewhere.
Pacifier. Not needed for some babies. Mine loved them! My babies preferred Nuk, but again, YMMV.
Sling. I had a Kindersling, but I imagine most of them are similar. They do take a while to get used to, especially for infants, but are well worthwhile once you are. My 19 month old and 3 year old still go in it when we’re walking around.
Motion sensitive baby moniter. I had an AngelCare baby moniter. It has a pad that goes under the crib mattress and is so sensitive to motion that an alarm will go off if your child quits breathing. This happened to a friend of mine. When the alarm went off, she found out her child wasn’t breathing, and revived him. Although my alarm has never sounded, the peace of mind it brought was well worth it!
Exersaucer. Looks like a walker without the wheels, and tons of toys attached.
Playtex bottle feeding system. No bottle brushes, only nipples to sterilize (rather than whole bottles), and a fresh, sterilized liner with every feeding. They also advertise less air swallowed, therefore less gas for baby. I loved them, and used the system with all four kids. I breastfed, but gave them one bottle of breastmilk a day (opinions on that may vary, but it worked well for me).
Medela Breast Pump, if you do decide to breastfeed. From my time at the breastfeeding forum, I understood that Medela and Avent were the two best brands. I really got a lot of use out of mine.
A good high chair. I used a good high chair for two babies, and a cheap one for two babies. There is a difference. A sturdy base, removable parts for washing, one handed tray removal and all those other goodies do make a difference. Remember how many meals a child will eat in one, and how much work you’d like that meal to be for you. You want it to be as easy as possible to get the child in and out, and as easy as possible to remove the inevitable food stains. I’ve seen a variety of excellent high chairs made by all brands.
Almost the same thing can be said about the car seat. The more you use one, the nicer you may want it to be. One thing I cheaped out on (and spent a lot of time wishing I hadn’t!) was an infant seat with a removable base. Also, a comfortable handle if you think you’re going to be carrying it much.
I also cheaped out on every stroller I bought, and they all fell apart after relatively little use. Go at least mid-price if you plan on using one. Spare no expense if you plan on walking a lot. If a lot of your walking is outdoor, you can also use a wagon (with seatbelts) for toddler aged children, which is what I went to after the last stroller bit the dust.
E-Opinions has parent ratings on all kinds of kids products. Might be worth a look. Not all brands are created equal.
What didn’t I use? Snugli. Owned three of them at one time, and hated them. During the infant stage, it didn’t seem to have enough head support. During the big kid stage, the childs legs seemed uncomfortably far apart. Inbetween? The Snugli didn’t fit at all.
Infant shoes. Where are they walking??
Changing table. Got used twice, IIRC. I’m not the sort of person who delicately excuses themselves to change the baby privately. Throw a pad on the floor, and change them where I am. That’s me.
Good luck!
PS. I wanted to stay out of it, but I really wanted to mention that not ALL of the medical community everywhere is unsupportive of breastfeeding. I haven’t met a doctor yet (in central Alberta) that doesn’t whole heartedly approve, to the point of giving you a really hard time if you choose to bottle feed, or choose to quit breastfeeding early. ALL of the medical professionals I was in contact with during my last two pregnancies not only stressed breastfeeding, but breastfeeding for the first two years! YMMV, but don’t lump the entire medical community together in one sweeping statement.
Almost forgot…there are diaper bags, and there are diaper bags. We like the Do-It-All from Lands End. You’re gonna be carting that sucker around everywhere…cute rubber duckies are not as important as luggage grade 210 denier nylon construction. It’s a bit pricier than others…but will last.
I am due January 5.
My first was born September 17, 1995. Its been a while, and while I checked a few baby sites, I really didn’t think of all the new things that might have come out, and what others might have thought of them.
I’ve expanded my list of needs, as well as crossed out some things I had forgotten I had no use for.
Some days I feel as though my head may come off as I forget things so easily…
congrats aenea 
IMO it would be a seriously good idea to check out bf’ing and the compatibility of your meds. What’s the heritability of Crohns? A quick google search shows that breastfeeding decreases the chance of Crohns in later life. If there’s any chance the baby might have a pre-disposition to Crohns, then the choice might need to be between the transmission of some meds or the risk of formula.
Making a truly informed choice about formula and breastfeeding makes the longterm consequences of whatever decision you make, easier to live with IME.
My sister got me the land’s end diaper bag, and I love it! I loved our Boppy pillow, too. Great for breastfeeding, but also for bottle feeding (saves the back, and your grip on the little bundle of joy feels much more secure.)
The vibrating bouncy chair was awesome! My little love tended to wake up and fuss just as I put her down, the vibrating function “fooled” her (yes, I am wicked) into thinking someone was still holding her…she slept like a baby, the good kind! (more wickedness, sorry. I’ll stop.) I wish I had had the fisher price vibrating mat (available at target.com for $20…called fisher price soothe and snuggle, I think).
I wish I had spent the $130 or so on the nice wooden high chair instead of the $60 plastic one. I hate looking at that darn thing.
Baby gowns are much more practical when they are tiny than the footie pyjamas, you will be too brain dead to line up the 1,000 tiny snaps a dozen times a day (and several at night).
Good luck!
Before our first was born, we had a midwife say to us that “All you really need are a carseat, clothes and diapers. You can make do for everything else. Actually you can make do for everything but the carseat if you have to.” The moral is that 99% of the baby gear on the market is for the parents’ sake. If you don’t think an item will fit into your lifestyle, remember, you are not depriving your baby if you don’t buy it!
We never had, and never felt the need for, a monitor, a baby swing, or a walker/exersaucer (and probably a dozen other items I’ve forgotten at the moment). I know there are other parents who wouldn’t have wanted to contemplate life without one or more of these. On the other hand, don’t take away my changing table! I’d never be able to find anything at diaper-changing time if I didn’t have all those nifty shelves to store it on.
About the carseat: If you can fit it into your budget, a rear-facing infant only seat will fit a newborn, even a big newborn, better than a convertible infant/toddler seat. Whichever way you go, get a five-point belt, not an overhead shield or a T shield. Beyond that, any carseat that fits your car and that you will use correctly every time is close enough to The Best Carseat that it is not (imho) worth driving yourself nuts over details.
I’ve been through two rounds of atopic eczema now, so I’m a bit obsessed about skin care. Those baby toiletries are not especially good for the skin. A good unscented liquid soap and a perfume- and dye-free moisturizing lotion will do the job just as well and cost less. Same thing with laundry detergent, don’t bother with the special baby stuff if you don’t want to. I find that doing the whole family’s laundry with allergy-safe products is easier.
If you’re considering cloth diapers, let me know and I can share what I’ve learned. And if you’re looking for a front carrier, let me put in a plug for the Baby Bjorn - far and away the best of the lot, I think. Snugglis don’t even look comfortable to me.
Oh, and if you do bottlefeed (or even if you breastfeed and just have bottles for Dad or the babysitter to cover for you now and then) and if you have a dishwasher, get one of those little covered baskets that allows you to wash everything in the dishwasher. No sterilizing. End of transmission 
I have friends who loved slings. I tried four different ones and never felt that the baby was safe. My advice, borrow before you buy.
Find a friend with a baby. Swings, bouncy seats, exerscaucers, all have a limited life. If you can find a friend or relative with a baby six months older than yours, she can pass down as hers gets out. My son hated the bouncy seat, and my daughter wasn’t too impressed by it either. She perfered her infant car seat/carrier (which weren’t meant to carry babies in).
You don’t need much. Diapers, bottles and formula if you aren’t b/fing (not a bad idea to have something on hand if you are - just in case - my milk didn’t come in for seven days and my baby nearly ended up in the hospital), baby blankets, baby clothes. Bibs and burp cloths (cloth diapers work really well). Someplace safe for baby to sleep and sheets for that (for the first couple months mine spit up so much that we used towels under her instead of sheets). A carseat (if you think your baby will be big, skip the infant seat. Mine lasted six months until my daughter was too big, a girlfriends son outgrew his is four). Infant drops for fever and cold.
For mom, if you deliver vaginally, you’ll want Tucks, for the hemmoroids, and a couple big packs of the biggest maxipads on the market. You’ll likely spend a lot of time in the tub healing any rips, cuts, or incisions - so invest in something that makes the tub a nice place to be (bath salts, candles, soothing music - but talk to your doctor about anything you put in the water.) And for most women I know, their good intentions about getting things done on maternity leave are the subject of much laughter after they come back - you want movies, lots of stupid movies for laying on the couch with the baby. Books take too much effort for someone who doesn’t sleep.
A glider rocker is great.
I’ll second the boppy. I never had one, but I borrowed a friends to feed with when I was breastfeeding. It was wonderful.
On strollers, if you are planning a second quickly (withing two or three years), just buy a double now. The other seat can be used to hold the diaper bag and other junk.
Hunter/Gatherers raised their kids with much less. Don’t fret. Target (or your local discount retailer) isn’t that far away.
I teach natural childbirth (Bradley Method) and I would be happy to give you an overview of it and other methods. I won’t hijack this thread, but if you are interested, please email me.
aenea, I love you for starting this thread! Now I don’t have to.
This is great advice for us first-time moms-to-be. I’m printing this off before I go shopping again!
Diapers, diapers, diapers. In all sizes. You cannot have too many diapers. Stock up now, while you’re still comfortable walking.
I found that Target brand diapers were just as good as (and significantly cheaper than) Pampers or any other name brand.
Wipes, wipes, wipes. More wipes than diapers. Sometimes you can get away with using just a couple, but those times are few and far between. And you’ll come to use them for washing faces, hands, cleaning up spills, and all kinds of things. I love wipes. Once my son gets out of diapers, I’ll probably keep buying them.
CVS drugstores has a really good brand of wipes, called Soft Cloth. They’re soft like the Pampers wipes, but WAY cheaper. I like them a lot.
Yep, get a LOT of these. Your kids will live in them. I also second the drawstring gown recommendation. It’s SO much easier to change a baby in the middle of the night (and you WILL learn to change a baby in complete darkness) when said baby is wearing a drawstring gown.
This book made me laugh my ass off. And while you’re pregnant and feeling it, you’ll need to laugh.
The sink will work great, until they grow out of it. After that, you’ll need something else. I used a Rubbermaid storage tub. $5 at K Mart. And when they grew out of that, voila! Instant toybox.
My personal recommendation is to ask your friends/relatives if they’ve got any hand-me-downs they want to offload. Babies & little kids really don’t care what they’re wearing, and they’ll mess it up as quickly as possible anyway. Don’t spend tons of money on clothes unless a) you’re rich and you can, or b) you really enjoy doing laundry every twenty minutes. If you don’t care for hand-me-downs (and that’s perfectly okay to not like them), Mervyn’s has great kids’ clothes and they’re perpetually on sale. Kids R Us is pretty good for that, too. But babies really don’t need a whole lot in the way of clothes.
What? You don’t know what this is? Heh. It’s one of those bulbs that sucks boogers from babies’ noses when they get congested. And yes, you need one, because babies can’t blow their noses. The hospital may provide you with one, but it can’t hurt to buy one just in case. A word of warning, though–babies hate them. Oh boy, do they hate those things.
Other stuff that’s cool to have:
A Graco Pack-N-Play. They really are great.
Teething rings (although my own children didn’t start teething until they were nearly two, but my kids aren’t normal–yours probably will be :D)
Books (Dr. Seuss RULES, and you can never start reading to your child too early)
Stuff that plays music
Baby Einstein/Baby Mozart videos (you will hate them, but children are utterly captivated by them)
Oh, I almost forgot–a night out. Line up a sitter, and get out of the house for an evening. You’ll need it. Believe me, you’ll need it.
Aenea, I don’t have any practical advice, having never slung out a young’un myself, but I do want to say congratulations! To you, and to the baking bun, 'cause they’re gonna have the coolest, most fine Mama in the universe.