# Backseat Drivers **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 20, 2013, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/backseat-drivers/674378 "2013-11-20T21:27:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Grapefruit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/73ab20/32.png) [@Grapefruit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grapefruit)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2013, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/backseat-drivers/674378/22 "2013-11-21T17:10:57Z")
> [@andros](#): > > Hate to be that guy, but…have you told _them_ this? Sorry, my post-road ragey brain shut this out the first time. This was a co-worker and we were going to another office to get some stuff sorted out and transferred over. We’d never been in the same car together before. I’m sure she thought she was trying to be helpful but as I kept saying “I know where I’m going” and “Could you quiet down? I’m trying to concentrate” she still kept going. About 3/4 of the way in, I stopped responding at all. Then she got upset at my silent treatment “Can you hear me? I said blah blah blah.” After the first leg of the trip, I told her “I really don’t like it when people try to give me directions from the back seat. It diverts my attention from the driving and is dangerous.” She made some scoffing noise and on our return trip got entirely sarcastic. “Watch out for the pedestrian! Oh right, Grapefruit is SO independent. She doesn’t want anyone’s help.” After some of those, I turned the music up to drown her out. Third co-worker in the car, the one in the passenger seat, was shifting uncomfortably the whole time. > [@obfusciatrist](#): > > Here’s my problem: You know all of those really bad drivers out there on the road? Most of them think they’re really good drivers and I wish they had someone in the car with them pointing out that they’re not. I don’t think bad drivers will really listen to the nagging. My brother is a terrible driver and his wife keeps telling him to slow down, quit cutting people off and all that, but he insists what he does keeps traffic smooth. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2013, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/backseat-drivers/674378/23 "2013-11-21T17:28:34Z")
My mother would sometimes talk about how “your father would yell so much when we were travelling”. I’d point out “but he didn’t yell, he talked through gritted teeth, and it was only to you, because you never seemed to understand ‘not NOW’”. The last time she came up with that particular gripe was during a family lunch. There was a moment of silence, and then three voices started to say “but he…”. We looked at each other and continued “he didn’t yell, he talked through gritted teeth, and it was only to you…” My sister in law says she was thinking “and me without a camera”. FTR, Mom has never had a license; the most frequent triggers for “not NOW” when she’s in the car are “talking about whatthefuckever when we’re trying to join traffic” and “telling us ‘oh oh there’s a spot there!’ when we’re looking for a parking space and the spot she points is either motorcycle-sized or illegal”. Apparently the notion that red and white bands on a sloping curb might be something other than decoration is lost on her. ---
**Author:** ![percypercy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8baadc/32.png) [@percypercy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/percypercy)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2013, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/backseat-drivers/674378/24 "2013-11-25T01:40:55Z")
From painful experience I’ve learned that most members of my family are backseat drivers. I’d much rather be the passenger. They also have difficulty with guiding others places. If there is a yellow light, you shouldn’t blast through it! ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2013, 5:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/backseat-drivers/674378/25 "2013-11-25T05:13:29Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > My sister in law says she was thinking “and me without a camera”. FTR, Mom has never had a license; the most frequent triggers for “not NOW” when she’s in the car are “talking about whatthefuckever when we’re trying to join traffic” and “telling us ‘oh oh there’s a spot there!’ when we’re looking for a parking space and the spot she points is either motorcycle-sized or illegal”. **Apparently the notion that red and white bands on a sloping curb might be something other than decoration is lost on her.** Wait, they DON’T mean “You’re parking in front of a barber shop”? ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2013, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/backseat-drivers/674378/26 "2013-11-25T05:28:18Z")
> [@Rachellelogram](#): > > We each have our own car, but he was driving my car while I was the passenger one day and brake-checked a tailgater. Brake-checked a tailgater? Sorry, what does that mean? ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2013, 5:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/backseat-drivers/674378/27 "2013-11-25T05:30:30Z")
Probably means he tapped the brake pedal enough to make his brake lights flash (and potentially give the tailgater a heart attack) but not enough to slow himself down. ---
**Author:** ![campp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@campp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/campp)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2013, 12:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/backseat-drivers/674378/28 "2013-11-25T12:28:33Z")
My wife decided it was OK to honk the horn from the passenger seat. Twice. The second time, I blew a gasket, because she just about got me into a fight with some biker. After that, we had a little talk. It doesn’t happen anymore. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2013, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/backseat-drivers/674378/29 "2013-11-25T15:04:59Z")
My SO can be a bit of a backseat driver. Nothing like Missy’s husband, thankfully, but it is super annoying, and we’ve had fights over it. It is better now, but you know, I’m the one with the perfect driving record, not him! ---
**Author:** ![brad\_d](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/50afbb/32.png) [@brad\_d](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brad_d)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2013, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/backseat-drivers/674378/30 "2013-11-25T15:20:25Z")
> [@kaylasdad99](#): > > Probably means he tapped the brake pedal enough to make his brake lights flash (and potentially give the tailgater a heart attack) **but not enough to slow himself down.** Maybe, maybe not on the part I’ve bolded - [Brake check](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brake_test): > [@](#): > > A driver is said to (brake check) another driver when the two are driving very close together and the front driver deliberately brakes very hard, causing the second driver to have to do likewise and often make an evasive maneuver to avoid an accident. ---
**Author:** ![all\_timestamps\_displayed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/958977/32.png) [@all\_timestamps\_displayed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/all_timestamps_displayed)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2013, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/backseat-drivers/674378/31 "2013-11-25T16:24:02Z")
> [@Missy2U](#): > > \ > So yeah. I can relate, **Grapefruit.** Fuck yeah! Would read again. Fuck passenger seat flinchers, you’re going to cause an accident with that gasping and sudden move shit! If you can’t handle traffic, withdraw to your happy place for the duration! BTW, fuck brake checks too! Dangerous, irresponsible bullshit. Honesty time, I used to do brake checks too, like some kind of asshole (and I was). Now I just let tailgaters pass if possible. I just pretend that they’re rushing to the hospital or some other emergency. ---
**Author:** ![Seanette](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/seanette/32/9139_2.png) [@Seanette](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seanette)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2013, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/backseat-drivers/674378/32 "2013-12-02T00:19:12Z")
I do tend to co-pilot for my husband, at his request. We’re used to each other enough it works pretty smoothly. I’m the “nervous passenger” type (DH is worse), even with drivers I completely trust. I do let people know it’s my neurosis and try to not get noisy or otherwise distracting about it. ---
**Author:** ![DummyGladHands](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/49beb7/32.png) [@DummyGladHands](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DummyGladHands)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2013, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/backseat-drivers/674378/33 "2013-12-02T02:57:07Z")
My late husband, if I would point out where he needed to make a turn, would always snap “Who’s driving this car?” Once we got on I-10 and he turned towards El Paso rather than the correct route to Phoenix. After about 40 miles, he said, “I think I made a wrong turn.” Yep. “Why didn’t you say anything?” All together now… WHO’S DRIVING THIS CAR? ---
**Author:** ![AnaMen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/dfb087/32.png) [@AnaMen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AnaMen)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2013, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/backseat-drivers/674378/34 "2013-12-02T23:01:30Z")
A passenger should speak up only if they have genuine reason to believe someone is at immediate risk of bodily harm or to give directions upon request. You can offer to drive or request to be let out, and that’s it! ---
**Author:** ![Rocketeer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rocketeer/32/4437_2.png) [@Rocketeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rocketeer)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2013, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/backseat-drivers/674378/35 "2013-12-03T17:03:05Z")
…and keep your mitts off the heater controls! ---
**Author:** ![SteveG1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@SteveG1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SteveG1)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2013, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/backseat-drivers/674378/36 "2013-12-03T18:44:51Z")
I used to just tell them to STFU and start walking. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2013, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/backseat-drivers/674378/37 "2013-12-03T19:10:05Z")
I’ve found that saying “If you wanna drive, get in the back seat” usually shuts people up. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/backseat-drivers/674378.md?page=1)