# Bacon-Grease-In-A-Tube®! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 22, 2001, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bacon-grease-in-a-tube/59057 "2001-03-22T21:25:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Sweet\_Walter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7cd45c/32.png) [@Sweet\_Walter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sweet_Walter)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2001, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bacon-grease-in-a-tube/59057/1 "2001-03-22T21:25:00Z")
Bacon-Grease-In-A-Tube®!! It’s for vegetarians who have no source for their oh so handy bacon grease. Have any of your selfish meat eating friends ever offered you any of their bacon grease for those around the house chores? How many times today have you said “Hmmm… this needs a little bacon grease.” From squeaky screen doors to polishing your church shoes, it is the product for you. We haven’t forgotten you carnivorous folks either. Just imagine… Dinner is coming up quick and your significant other has used this mornings fresh grease winterizing his/her shotgun. What to do? Never fear homemaker, reach for your tube of Bacon-Grease-In-A-Tube®!!! Tastes great in beans, greens and all that’s in between. Replace that old fashion mayo in your BLT with modern Bacon-Grease-In-A-Tube®. For our up-scale shopper. Tired of Sundried-Tomatoes-In-A-Tube®? Is Anchovies-In-A-Tube® just too provincial? Step out of the box! Try Bacon-Grease-In-A-Tube® on your next alfalfa and tuna lip sandwich!! You will thank your self! ---
**Author:** ![UncleBill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/d26b3c/32.png) [@UncleBill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBill)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2001, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bacon-grease-in-a-tube/59057/2 "2001-03-22T21:42:53Z")
A few things: 1. Welcome and salutations, enjoy the boards, the folks, the stories and the flirts. Always nice to have a newcomer. 2. Now about that Name, there is one and only one Wally of any kind, WallyM7. There are many of the Teeming Millions who may take offense at your name, and you should not be blamed. WallyM7 was the heart and soul of the SDMB, touched hearts and lives, and was universally loved. He passed away several months ago, and is still referred to in reverence and love on a daily basis. Please consider changing your name. I say this in all seriousness. 3. Hi Opal! 4. As for content of OP, I must say “WTF?” ---
**Author:** ![Mnementh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/898d66/32.png) [@Mnementh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mnementh)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2001, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bacon-grease-in-a-tube/59057/3 "2001-03-22T21:42:56Z")
You’re a very, very odd newbie. You’ll do well here, I think. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![voguevixen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5ac83/32.png) [@voguevixen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/voguevixen)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2001, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bacon-grease-in-a-tube/59057/4 "2001-03-22T21:59:21Z")
Um…you can already buy bacon grease at the store. It’s called “LARD.” Right next to the Crisco. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2001, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bacon-grease-in-a-tube/59057/5 "2001-03-22T22:01:56Z")
Wally’s been reincarnated already? ---
**Author:** ![Sweet\_Walter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7cd45c/32.png) [@Sweet\_Walter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sweet_Walter)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2001, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bacon-grease-in-a-tube/59057/6 "2001-03-22T22:04:35Z")
UncleBill I’m sorry that I’ve never met Wally. Whenever his name is mentioned it is with much love and loss, I will respect that. At your request I will cook up a new moniker. The SDMB looks like a great community. Yours, Walter ---
**Author:** ![Inky\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7feea3/32.png) [@Inky\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inky_1)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2001, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bacon-grease-in-a-tube/59057/7 "2001-03-22T22:50:36Z")
And for those carnivores who lack a vegetarian in their lives it’s… **Flatulence-In-A-Can[sup]TM[/sup]!!** Yes, now even those don’t have the pleasure of a self-rightious sprout-eater in their homes can enjoy the truly _unique_ ambience that only a diet of lentils and chick peas provides! Never again be subjected to tall people sitting in front of you in theaters. One puff of the patented **Methane-A-Matic** [sup]TM[/sup] nozzle guarantees you a comfy Zone of Alone in all directions! Better than mace for repelling assailants, bears or unwanted guests! ---
**Author:** ![Chef\_Troy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Chef\_Troy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chef_Troy)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2001, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bacon-grease-in-a-tube/59057/8 "2001-03-22T22:54:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by voguevixen \* > \*\*Um…you can already buy bacon grease at the store. It’s called “LARD.” Right next to the Crisco. \*\* come on, VV, lard and bacon grease aren’t the same thing at all. Lard is pure, white, fresh pork fat that’s rendered. It doesn’t have all the little brown bits and scrapings that give bacon grease its character, nor has the fat itself been smoked. ---
**Author:** ![Shayna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shayna/32/17976_2.png) [@Shayna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shayna)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2001, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bacon-grease-in-a-tube/59057/9 "2001-03-22T23:23:38Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Sweet Wally \* > \*\*UncleBill > I’m sorry that I’ve never met Wally. Whenever his name is mentioned it is with much love and loss, I will respect that. At your request I will cook up a new moniker. The SDMB looks like a great community. > Yours, > Walter \*\* Welcome aboard, **Walter**. Thanks for the consideration regarding your username. I assure you it will be much appreciated all around. Just email [tubadiva@aol.com](mailto:tubadiva@aol.com) and tell her you want to change usernames (whatever you do, don’t re-register under a different name). I cast my vote for **Sweet Walter**. Again, welcome, and I hope you have fun here! * * * Definitely the luckiest woman in the world! [Click here](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?postid=1207530#post1207530) to find out why. ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2001, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bacon-grease-in-a-tube/59057/10 "2001-03-23T00:09:45Z")
**Sweet Wally** welcome aboard. About your user name: from someone who knew **WallyM7** I see nothing wrong with it. I have a differing viewpoint than **UncleBill**. There will not be “only one Wally of any kind.” You are not trying to impersonate anyone else. Sure there was only one **WallyM7** , who is loved and respected, and the likes of him will not be matched on these boards again. However, I don’t see why that should mean no one else can have the name “Wally” in their username, especially if it happens to be their real name. If the mods and admins don’t have a problem with your name, I don’t see why anyone else should. Anyway, enjoy your stay. ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2001, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bacon-grease-in-a-tube/59057/11 "2001-03-23T00:13:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Sweet Wally \* > \*\*UncleBill > I’m sorry that I’ve never met Wally. Whenever his name is mentioned it is with much love and loss, I will respect that. At your request I will cook up a new moniker. The SDMB looks like a great community. > Yours, > Walter \*\* Names are a hot topic around SDMB lately per this thread [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=64019&pagenumber=1](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=64019&pagenumber=1) Be careful, per CrankyAsAnOldMan’s observation in that thread make sure you don’t choose something like “BustyJuggs” or “Cutie” or “TotalBabe” or “HeadGiver Extraordinaire” etc." and assuming you’re a guy per the “Wally” portion of your name you should never, ever consider names like “Mr. Hard Body, The Human Piston, Little Head Thinker, Tumescent4U, Pink Snuffalufagus, Lonely Chippendale, Dr. SinglePorsche, JewelsforSex” etc. as these could be considered “distracting” from the sacred purity of your words. ---
**Author:** ![Ad\_Noctum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b19c9b/32.png) [@Ad\_Noctum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ad_Noctum)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2001, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bacon-grease-in-a-tube/59057/12 "2001-03-23T00:45:22Z")
I must cast my vote with UncleBeer nothing against you, but there can only be One Wally. > [@](#): > > Mnementh > You’re a very, very odd newbie. > > You’ll do well here, I think. Fuckin’ Right 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![UncleBill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/d26b3c/32.png) [@UncleBill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBill)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2001, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bacon-grease-in-a-tube/59057/13 "2001-03-23T00:55:32Z")
Because that’s all it was. I don’t disagree with you **Crunchy** , you are just wrong. 😛 And it was **UncleBill** , not **UncleBeer**. Get your I’m-so-full-of-myself-I-speak-for-everyone jerks straight, please. ---
**Author:** ![Ad\_Noctum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b19c9b/32.png) [@Ad\_Noctum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ad_Noctum)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2001, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bacon-grease-in-a-tube/59057/14 "2001-03-23T01:00:10Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by UncleBill \* > \*\*Because that’s all it was. I don’t disagree with you **Crunchy** , you are just wrong. 😛 > > And it was **UncleBill** , not **UncleBeer**. Get your I’m-so-full-of-myself-I-speak-for-everyone jerks straight, please. \*\* excuse me, Unclebill. I’m still not used to typing or seeing your name. I don’t feel as I am a I’m-so-full-of-myself-I-speak-for-everyone jerk , I made a mistake I’m sorry. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2001, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bacon-grease-in-a-tube/59057/15 "2001-03-23T01:02:19Z")
I’m with Crunchy. It’s a name, folks. I didn’t know Wally well-I think he died only a month after I came here-but I think he’d probably say you’re all being putzes over a name. (Can you say, Putzes, btw?) ---
**Author:** ![rjk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ed655f/32.png) [@rjk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjk)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2001, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bacon-grease-in-a-tube/59057/16 "2001-03-23T01:03:28Z")
Thanks, Chef! Lard is just an ingredient, bacon fat is food! (I don’t know how some of these people survive without wasting away!) ---
**Author:** ![Ad\_Noctum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b19c9b/32.png) [@Ad\_Noctum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ad_Noctum)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2001, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bacon-grease-in-a-tube/59057/17 "2001-03-23T01:06:08Z")
it’s more of a sentimental thing, Guin. and Guin, I think he’d be laughing at us for this. ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2001, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bacon-grease-in-a-tube/59057/18 "2001-03-23T01:07:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by UncleBill \* > **I don’t disagree with you Crunchy, you are just wrong. 😛** First of all, 😛 back at ya. I appreciate the sentiment, **UncleBill** (at least I know which Uncle I’m talking to), but I don’t think it’s very realistic or practical suggestion that no one can have the name “Wally” in their username in any way at all. Second of all, before everyone starts suggesting that **Sweet Wally** change his name, we should stops to think for a minute that the name **Wally** has not been trademarked, has not been retired, and is not forbidden from use by the membership agreement. I liked **WallyM7** as much as anyone else here, but **Sweet Wally** has every right to choose that username. I don’t see what right we have to suggest he change it simply because it reminds us of someone else. We can’t ban all usernames with the name “Wally” in them. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2001, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bacon-grease-in-a-tube/59057/19 "2001-03-23T01:10:03Z")
I know. And that’s what I mean-he’d be laughing about this. ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2001, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bacon-grease-in-a-tube/59057/20 "2001-03-23T01:11:37Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ad Noctum \* > **it’s more of a sentimental thing, Guin.** Then what else is it? And I believe **UncleBill** was referring to himself in a self-depricationg way with the “Get your I’m-so-full-of-myself-I-speak-for-everyone jerks straight, please.” **UncleBeer** being one jerk, and **Bill** being the other. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bacon-grease-in-a-tube/59057.md?page=2)