# Bad bad bad Bats in the Belfry. (What the heck is a belfry!) **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 30, 2021, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-bad-bad-bats-in-the-belfry-what-the-heck-is-a-belfry/955179 "2021-11-30T03:14:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2021, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-bad-bad-bats-in-the-belfry-what-the-heck-is-a-belfry/955179/21 "2021-11-30T19:28:31Z")
A cutist ever flying squirrel landed virtually at my feet while walking one day. At the the time I had a Rat Terrier and she grabbed any small beast she could sink her teeth into. So I had to be quick. I got it in hand just in the nick of time. I was holding it over my head because the terror of terriers was jumping up trying to get it. The big eyed baby flying squirrel had sunk its own teeth into my pinky finger. Saving it’s widdle life was beginning to be painful. I was dodging a jumping dog who could clear at least 4 feet with every leap, wiggling my finger trying to dislodge the teeth of a probably rabid wild, but totally adorbs widdle flying squirrel-y. I determined I wasn’t gonna come from this experience unscathed. It wasn’t biting me any more. I got my other hand on the terriers collar and stiff armed her to my side. I brought my hand down and the thing was dead. Either I squeezed the life out of it or it commited some form of squirrel-y hari-kari. I sweated it out for weeks thinking I had rabies. But I lived.🤭 ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2021, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-bad-bad-bats-in-the-belfry-what-the-heck-is-a-belfry/955179/22 "2021-11-30T19:59:02Z")
Likely story.🙄 I hear you’re the reason they salt roads in winter. ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2021, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-bad-bad-bats-in-the-belfry-what-the-heck-is-a-belfry/955179/23 "2021-11-30T20:01:21Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > I hear you’re the reason they salt roads in winter. Well, they tried using @VOW’s excess puzzle books, but tires just slipped on the paper. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2021, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-bad-bad-bats-in-the-belfry-what-the-heck-is-a-belfry/955179/24 "2021-11-30T21:01:19Z")
In the same rural state as Beck, I opened the door one Passover to welcome Elijah, and welcomed a very large raccoon sitting on the porch. ---
**Author:** ![mbh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a6a055/32.png) [@mbh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mbh)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2021, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-bad-bad-bats-in-the-belfry-what-the-heck-is-a-belfry/955179/25 "2021-11-30T21:04:55Z")
Was he circumcised? ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2021, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-bad-bad-bats-in-the-belfry-what-the-heck-is-a-belfry/955179/26 "2021-11-30T22:04:51Z")
As raccoons don’t chew the cud, and don’t have cloven hoofs, they should be OK. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![VOW](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/vow/32/3043_2.png) [@VOW](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VOW)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2021, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-bad-bad-bats-in-the-belfry-what-the-heck-is-a-belfry/955179/27 "2021-11-30T22:25:14Z")
[hangs head in shame] Pay attention! The story will only be told once! We left SCal after Christmas, en route to Sgt VOW’s new duty station: he was going to be an Army Recruiter in Wisconsin! (insignificant true fact: Wisconsin was the furthest West available.) For Christmas, my aunt had given us a fistful of McDonald’s coupon books. Keep this in mind throughout the story! We got as far as Tucson for the first stop. My husband’s teen sister lived with us, and the whole car was worn out when we finally found a place to stay. And we went to McDonald’s. Of course. All night long, Sgt VOW moaned and groaned in my ear, he tossed and turned, and he tangled all the covers. And he said over and over “I can’t sleep. How am I going to drive if I can’t sleep?” Finally, about 2 AM, he admitted the Secret Sauce in his Big Mac had probably been bad, and he was actually sick with food poisoning. Atvthat time, all the nastiness in his body was making an appearance from one orifice or another. Once he was sufficiently purged, I gave him Tylenol and said, none too gently “I’ll drive. But you have to SHUT UP so I can sleep!” We left Tucson about 9: 30 AM, with me behind the wheel. Teen sis sat in the front seat with me, and the invalid made a hospital ward in the backmseat with pillows and blankies, and slept like the proverbial baby. I don’t remember where we spent the next night, but the following two nights were at my granparents’ house in the middle of Missouri. It snowed for those two nights. We left the grandparents in the morning and the sky was cloudless and BLUE. The blueness was so intense, it had to be described in capital letters. We timed our departure just right, so we hit “going-to-work” traffic in St Louis. The center of Illinois had cleared, dry roads, but it was freezing cold. All three of us engaged in verbal combat, complete with name calling, over the heater controls. As Fate would have it, we timed it just right AGAIN and hit “coming-home” traffic in Chicago. Chicago roads were wet and nasty, and we were trying to read signs in the twilight. We finally located Ft Sheridan, where we had reservations at the guest house. In the process of moving stuff from the car to our room, I got stuck inside with an automatic locking door, while Sgt VOW and his sister were outside. I could NOT get the lock open. I’m quite infamous for locking myself out of cars and houses worldwide. Ft Sheridan was probably built the same time as the Crusader castles in Europe, and everything is big, heavy, and sturdy. Sgt VOW gets an idea: shove the key under the door? The big, heavy, sturdy door had inches and inches of weatherstripping. I don’t think a molecule of AIR could be squeezed underneath! I sat on the floor and cried. The general rule in most marriages is that anything that goes wrong IS THE WIFE’S FAULT. I had been listening to the bitching since we pulled out of my parents’ driveway in SCal. One of Sgt VOW’s many rants was on the road conditions in Illinois–specifically the use of salt. Cars in that part of the country display horrendous rust splotches from salt damage. Sgt VOW bitched that IIllinois would do better to follow the example if Oregon, “where they don’t throw salt around tontear up people’s cars.” As we hit the traffic in Chicago, the bitch and moan chorus gained a new voice as Teen Sis complained about “too much McDonald’s.” So that’s why I cried. After venting a bit, I got up from the floor and tried YET AGAIN to get the damned door open. Maybe my tears had lubricated the locking mechanism, because I did get it open. I then cried all over the front of Sgt VOW and said the constant complaining had felt like it was directed at ME, even to the point of blaming me for the salt on the roads in Illinois. He was so sorry. He comforted and patted me, and said everything was okay. Then he and his sister went to McDonald’s to get us some dinner. ~VOW ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2021, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-bad-bad-bats-in-the-belfry-what-the-heck-is-a-belfry/955179/28 "2021-11-30T22:49:47Z")
Sweet.🤭 ---
**Author:** ![carnut](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnut/32/3531_2.png) [@carnut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnut)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2021, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-bad-bad-bats-in-the-belfry-what-the-heck-is-a-belfry/955179/29 "2021-11-30T23:00:24Z")
> [@DesertDog](#): > > A belfry is the part of a bell tower where they actually put the bells. Belfrys are great bat hangouts. So are the thin spaces between the old house and new addition section. I wouldnt’ be scared of a bat. But squirrels can do huge amounts of damage, so I’m glad the little one is back outdoors where he belongs. Another great story by the master storyteller. Becks, we salute you. Honorable Mention goes to VOW who tells a darn good tale herself. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2021, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-bad-bad-bats-in-the-belfry-what-the-heck-is-a-belfry/955179/30 "2021-12-01T17:23:28Z")
> [@Guest-starring\_Id](#): > > Good thing it didn’t bite at your ear or claw the side of your face or an eye. Ha! Good one! What more could it do??? ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2021, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-bad-bad-bats-in-the-belfry-what-the-heck-is-a-belfry/955179/31 "2021-12-01T17:28:10Z")
> [@carnut](#): > > But squirrels can do huge amounts of damage Just ask [this guy](https://lifeisaroad.com/stories/2004/10/29/neighborhoodHazardorWhyTheCopsWontPatrolBriceStreet.html). ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2021, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-bad-bad-bats-in-the-belfry-what-the-heck-is-a-belfry/955179/32 "2021-12-01T17:30:43Z")
Whatchu talkin’ 'bout, Fishface!! ---
**Author:** ![Morgyn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morgyn/32/3041_2.png) [@Morgyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgyn)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2021, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-bad-bad-bats-in-the-belfry-what-the-heck-is-a-belfry/955179/33 "2021-12-01T20:55:17Z")
If you hadn’t posted that story, I would have. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2021, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-bad-bad-bats-in-the-belfry-what-the-heck-is-a-belfry/955179/34 "2021-12-01T21:19:23Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > It’s never safe to touch a wild Raccoon, especially in the . Never safe to touch a wild raccoon in the _what?_ Need answer fast! ---
**Author:** ![mbh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a6a055/32.png) [@mbh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mbh)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2021, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-bad-bad-bats-in-the-belfry-what-the-heck-is-a-belfry/955179/35 "2021-12-01T21:43:41Z")
Now, Rocky, tell us where the bad human touched you . . . ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2021, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-bad-bad-bats-in-the-belfry-what-the-heck-is-a-belfry/955179/36 "2021-12-01T21:54:35Z")
The South. Sorry. I have no excuse. ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2021, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-bad-bad-bats-in-the-belfry-what-the-heck-is-a-belfry/955179/37 "2021-12-01T22:16:22Z")
That could be a country song: “Never Touch the South End of a Northbound Raccoon.” ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2021, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-bad-bad-bats-in-the-belfry-what-the-heck-is-a-belfry/955179/38 "2021-12-14T16:14:27Z")
When I was rudely awakened by dogs cutting up in my bedroom, I got up and walked over and looked out the window. I was surprised to see a rather large raccoon hanging on to the small area of first story roofing. It’s a metal roof. First: How did he get up there? Second: How is he not sliding down, to his splatter death on the driveway below? I’m more worried about the second one. That’s seems like it would be a serious clean up. Of course I’d have to do it, All these lazy bums around here wouldn’t dare 🤗 or care 🙄 I walked down stairs to start breakfast. Expecting a dark critter to fly by my window and end up with a satisfying (😳) splat!! Different day different drama!! ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2021, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-bad-bad-bats-in-the-belfry-what-the-heck-is-a-belfry/955179/39 "2021-12-21T02:17:55Z")
As you all know I have adopted vet-checked and fed for several months, Clarence the 'possum As it’s gotten cooler I have moved his bucket home into the garage. He owns a cat who undoubtedly keeps him warm in the the shared bucket home. So I put a cat box for Ms. Haricot ( who has been vet-checked as well. She’s surgically altered too, didn’t want Cat/opossum halfbreeds running around.) Scary!! She is very fastidious in her toilette. As you’d expect because he’s male, Clarence is not. He does his business in the box or on the puppy tray. Poor Ms. Haricot. She spends half her day covering up poo that’s not hers. When she’s done with that she works very hard grooming Clarence. His fur is terminally sticking up in bad ways. Permanent bed-head is what I call it. I feel sorry for her. But she could run away, I guess. She was traveling when she stopped off here. Mr. Wrek says she’ll never leave on purpose. She hit the lottery when she turned down my driveway. ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2021, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-bad-bad-bats-in-the-belfry-what-the-heck-is-a-belfry/955179/40 "2021-12-21T17:15:47Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > She hit the lottery when she turned down my driveway. Same here. **DesertRoomie** dotes on our dogs – dare I say spoils them? – and they would never leave voluntarily. We’ve had a number of puppies over the years and you know how the first night, or even for a week or, so they’re pining for their mom and pack of siblings? That’s never happened with us. They are brought home and decide, “I think I like this.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-bad-bad-bats-in-the-belfry-what-the-heck-is-a-belfry/955179.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-bad-bad-bats-in-the-belfry-what-the-heck-is-a-belfry/955179.md?page=3)