# Bad, bad, bad Beck..."I will walk 500 miles, I will walk 500 more..." **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 12, 2023, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-bad-bad-beck-i-will-walk-500-miles-i-will-walk-500-more/979677 "2023-02-12T21:11:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2023, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-bad-bad-beck-i-will-walk-500-miles-i-will-walk-500-more/979677/1 "2023-02-12T21:11:08Z")
My lionhearted aide, Ivy insists. Seriously, she’s killing me. We’re in the early piglet making season so feral hogs are all hormoned up and careless. We’re seeing way too many for comfort. I’m always toting my trusty weapon, in case. Ivy does not carry anything but her countenance and a big mouth. I have long legs. I have to step bigger. Ivy is small. She flits allover the leaf litter like a dragonfly. It’s been muddy. Can’t wear Crocs or walking shoes. Has to be rubber boots. Clomp, clomp, clomp is how I go. She’s well fed and energetic, I’m in a continuous state of hunger and starvation. So I slow down, alot. Only to hear her barking like a D.I., to speed it up!!! We finally, finally get around to the drive-way and I swear she’d like me to run. Run!?? Are you on crack? I may need a lift. My fervent wish is Son-of-a-wrek will come to visit one day and pick me up. He’s usually already at the house. Alas. The dogs run. Alerting the house we’re on our way back. A nice cold bottle of water waiting, and an invite to sit on the deck, for me? Nope. They couldn’t care less. Finally get in the house. Un-trap myself of my carry-ons and muddy boots and get to my bed. Plop. I’m down. Ivy says, “You can rest an hour” The hell you say. I may rest for eternity, I tell you what! Ivy the Incorruptible! ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2023, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-bad-bad-beck-i-will-walk-500-miles-i-will-walk-500-more/979677/2 "2023-02-12T21:16:22Z")
I’m very happy to learn that you’re out taking walks! ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2023, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-bad-bad-beck-i-will-walk-500-miles-i-will-walk-500-more/979677/3 "2023-02-13T00:21:52Z")
She says we’re fixin’ to up our game. The woman is sadistic!! She’s enjoying her power over me alittle too much. I may have to can her. Maybe tomorrow. We’ll see… ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2023, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-bad-bad-beck-i-will-walk-500-miles-i-will-walk-500-more/979677/4 "2023-02-13T01:22:31Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > I may have to can her. > > Maybe tomorrow. “Good night, Ivy. Good work. Sleep well. I’ll most likely fire you in the morning.” [![](https://i.etsystatic.com/21154169/r/il/2a7a61/3045973392/il_fullxfull.3045973392_ly4r.jpg) ](https://i.etsystatic.com/21154169/r/il/2a7a61/3045973392/il_fullxfull.3045973392_ly4r.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![nelliebly](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nelliebly/32/5422_2.png) [@nelliebly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nelliebly)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2023, 7:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-bad-bad-beck-i-will-walk-500-miles-i-will-walk-500-more/979677/5 "2023-02-13T07:50:17Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > Ivy does not carry anything but her countenance and a big mouth. This had me laughing. > [@Beckdawrek](#): > > I may need a lift. Where’s Bigfoot when you need him? ---
**Author:** ![VOW](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/vow/32/3043_2.png) [@VOW](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VOW)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2023, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-bad-bad-beck-i-will-walk-500-miles-i-will-walk-500-more/979677/6 "2023-02-20T20:15:58Z")
@Beckdawrek Hey, after you’ve dispatched a half dozen feral pigs, Ivy will cower in fear! Go sit in your rocking chair with at least one cat in your lap. Cat purrs have the amazing ability to restore recuperative powers upon their humans. ~VOW ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2023, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-bad-bad-beck-i-will-walk-500-miles-i-will-walk-500-more/979677/7 "2023-02-20T20:41:21Z")
And just where have you been @VOW ---
**Author:** ![VOW](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/vow/32/3043_2.png) [@VOW](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VOW)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2023, 6:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-bad-bad-beck-i-will-walk-500-miles-i-will-walk-500-more/979677/8 "2023-02-21T06:05:11Z")
Actually, I was in the Twilight Zone. But I’m back, now. Apparently, I was neither mean enough or crazy enough to stay. ~VOW ---
**Author:** ![Bullitt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bullitt/32/5725_2.png) [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2023, 7:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-bad-bad-beck-i-will-walk-500-miles-i-will-walk-500-more/979677/9 "2023-02-21T07:27:55Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > I’m always toting my trusty weapon, in case. This gets me excited! 😜 ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2023, 7:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-bad-bad-beck-i-will-walk-500-miles-i-will-walk-500-more/979677/10 "2023-02-21T07:55:21Z")
We encountered a mama hog and a piglet Sunday, while walking. I could of shot one but never would’ve gotten a shot at a running behind of a pig or charging mama hog, so I resisted. I sent Son-of-a-wrek out and he got them both. That boy can shoot. Ivy has got to start carrying a gun. She says she can shoot. We’ll have to see.