# Bad, bad, bad Comatose mistaken ideas **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 10, 2022, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-bad-bad-comatose-mistaken-ideas/965984 "2022-06-10T17:36:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2022, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-bad-bad-comatose-mistaken-ideas/965984/1 "2022-06-10T17:36:07Z")
Yesterday, early AM, I woke up in a semi-coma, semi-aware, thoroughly confused state. I was alone in a pale blue room with a bright light to my left. I lay there trying to fathom what this was. My hands were bound. I heard ticking like a clock. I finally concluded I was dead. I just had so much time before I was ejected to heaven or hell. I swear I smelled sulpher. No angels, no buffet of sweets I could eat(my form of heaven). I had a sense of things going on around me, all of a sudden. I heard the Li’l wrekker speaking. She was talking to an old man. Someone else was speaking, I heard her. It was my loud mouth sister. She said “You’re not gonna tell us anything?” Yep, I’m dead. No doubt. Imagine my surprise when I woke up in a hospital room, Alive, this morning. 🤯 ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2022, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-bad-bad-comatose-mistaken-ideas/965984/2 "2022-06-10T17:37:46Z")
_hugs the Beck_ So, have they told _you_ anything about what is going on? ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2022, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-bad-bad-comatose-mistaken-ideas/965984/3 "2022-06-10T17:38:21Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > Alive, this morning. Good to hear. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2022, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-bad-bad-comatose-mistaken-ideas/965984/4 "2022-06-10T17:39:51Z")
I had a grand mal seizure fell down a flight of stairs, I’ve been told. I have bruised up, stitched up bottom lip. I was put in a medically induced coma to let my brain rest. ---
**Author:** ![SuntanLotion](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/suntanlotion/32/16165_2.png) [@SuntanLotion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuntanLotion)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2022, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-bad-bad-comatose-mistaken-ideas/965984/5 "2022-06-10T17:46:01Z")
Happy youre alive💙 i believe pale blue room is heaven,dark purple hell. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2022, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-bad-bad-comatose-mistaken-ideas/965984/6 "2022-06-10T17:46:55Z")
This morning after I ate a nasty breakfast (hey, I’m starved, I’ll eat anything), A man knocked on the door and walked right in. He gave me a basket of stuff and said it was a little gift they give out. I’m mute so I just looked at him and he left. Get this, the gift was from a local funeral home. It was, disturbingly, a telescoping fly swatter, a fan with their logo and some deadly(?) peppermint candy. Are they hinting? Or sure? What floors the morgue on? The fly swatter is cool, tho’ ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2022, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-bad-bad-comatose-mistaken-ideas/965984/7 "2022-06-10T17:48:43Z")
Beck, you are tougher than Death. Hope this time he waits a while before challenging you again. ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2022, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-bad-bad-comatose-mistaken-ideas/965984/8 "2022-06-10T17:49:26Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > A man knocked on the door and walked right in. He gave me a basket of stuff and said it was a little gift they give out. I’m mute so I just looked at him and he left. > > Get this, the gift was from a local funeral home. It was, disturbingly, a telescoping fly swatter, a fan with their logo and some deadly(?) peppermint candy. A gift basket. From a funeral home. Given to a very-much-alive hospital patient. Wowwwww. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2022, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-bad-bad-comatose-mistaken-ideas/965984/9 "2022-06-10T17:50:16Z")
Also, it’s good to hear from you, Beck. I’m sorry that the medical adventures are continuing. I swear, I’m driving down to Arkansas, and outfitting you with a bubble-wrap wardrobe. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2022, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-bad-bad-comatose-mistaken-ideas/965984/10 "2022-06-10T17:54:33Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > Get this, the gift was from a local funeral home. It was, disturbingly, a telescoping fly swatter, a fan with their logo and some deadly(?) peppermint candy. - Actually, that’s a game. Have someone put the fan at the foot of the bed and use the flyswatter like a tennis racquet to launch the peppermints at the fan. Fast healing. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2022, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-bad-bad-comatose-mistaken-ideas/965984/11 "2022-06-10T17:54:36Z")
Yeah, well the nurses are on me like too-tight jeans. I just noticed there is a huge picture window into my room. I see the nurses desk from my bed ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2022, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-bad-bad-comatose-mistaken-ideas/965984/12 "2022-06-10T17:55:24Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > I see the nurses desk from my bed More importantly: the nurses at their desk see _you_ without having to come to your room. Wave to them for us! ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2022, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-bad-bad-comatose-mistaken-ideas/965984/13 "2022-06-10T17:57:30Z")
Ha! I just did. Dang it, I might wanna do something private. No luck. Oooh. I need paper and sharpies. I can make notes and show them to passers by. Yep, this gonna be fun! ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2022, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-bad-bad-comatose-mistaken-ideas/965984/14 "2022-06-10T18:07:13Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > I can make notes and show them to passers by. “Help! I’m stuck in this hospital room! Please bring cats!” ---
**Author:** ![BippityBoppityBoo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bippityboppityboo/32/5745_2.png) [@BippityBoppityBoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BippityBoppityBoo)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2022, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-bad-bad-comatose-mistaken-ideas/965984/15 "2022-06-10T18:09:10Z")
> [@kenobi\_65](#): > > Help! I’m stuck in this hospital room! Please bring cats!” “……and coney dogs!” ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2022, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-bad-bad-comatose-mistaken-ideas/965984/16 "2022-06-10T18:29:30Z")
I’m thinking more sinister words: “I see you” or “Quick, look behind you” Or “I’m taking notes, I hope that candy bar you just ate was worth it” ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2022, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-bad-bad-comatose-mistaken-ideas/965984/17 "2022-06-10T19:27:25Z")
> [@kenobi\_65](#): > > I swear, I’m driving down to Arkansas, and outfitting you with a bubble-wrap wardrobe. You can bunk downstairs in the fish room, but don’t touch anything. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2022, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-bad-bad-comatose-mistaken-ideas/965984/18 "2022-06-10T19:28:35Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > I’m mute so I just looked at him and he left. Mute as in you can’t speak, or as in you didn’t want to speak to a Funeral Home Recruiter? ---
**Author:** ![OldGuy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/3bc359/32.png) [@OldGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OldGuy)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2022, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-bad-bad-comatose-mistaken-ideas/965984/19 "2022-06-10T19:48:49Z")
Beck, I must say you keep this cancer-ridden old man – I mean OldGuy laughing. No dying here; I need to follow your adventures. ---
**Author:** ![VOW](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/vow/32/3043_2.png) [@VOW](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VOW)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2022, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-bad-bad-comatose-mistaken-ideas/965984/20 "2022-06-10T19:56:52Z")
This could ONLY happen to our Beck! Really, _really_, REALLY! Back when I was a working mom and my kids were in grade school, and Mr VOW was using his GI Bill, I used to BEG for a coma so I could get some rest! The sign you need to make, actually several signs you need to make are “I’M NOT DEAD YET!” Tape them to the door, the window, the head and the foot of the bed. Then hold one under the covers for whoever marches in your room and throws back the blankets to poke you in your whatevers. Love you lots-n-lots! ~VOW [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-bad-bad-comatose-mistaken-ideas/965984.md?page=2)