# Bad, bad, bad 'spurtle' **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 22, 2021, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-bad-bad-spurtle/949299 "2021-08-22T03:21:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2021, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-bad-bad-spurtle/949299/1 "2021-08-22T03:21:24Z")
On Thursday I took a ride with Son-of-a-wrek and DIL. The trip was to the Airforce base to shop at the exchange for bulk items. And on to Sam’s Club. Son was on a roll during this drive. I laughed and laughed. We stop at a gas station for DIL to pee and I took a notion to nap a minute. When I woke up DIL was driving. I feel somewhat safer. 😳 We arrived early and it was determined we would eat luncheon first (I like the word ‘luncheon’ makes me feel all ‘Downton Abbey-ish’) Crackerbarrel is chosen. If you’ve never been in that place take it from me it’s always crowded. To get in or out you go through the gift shop. It’s way over merchandised and had narrow walking lanes and a gazillion people shopping. I may have bought a card once or twice but other than that I don’t think I’ve ever bought anything else. Now, I like Crackerbarrel. The food is decent. The tea is good. We are seated and place our order. Chicken fried steak and mashed potatoes all around. Son downs his tea and decided he must visit the little boys room. Like I said, he’s on a roll. He’s also kinda nuts. He took off ‘racewalking’ to the restroom. (He’s fascinated by the sport racewalking) I heard him say really loudly, twice, “Coming thru, stand aside” DIL was mortified. I nearly fell outta my chair. I was laughing so hard, tears were running down my cheeks. I glanced around the room and serveral people where aghast, most were laughing. One lady across from us had her face in her napkin convulsing with laughter. He got back to the table, took a bow to the room and sat down to eat. That boy just won’t do. We finished eating. Son has my card to pay(I assume that is why I was invited to go along). Me and DIL are looking around at the junk for sale while he waits in line to pay out. I’m looking at kitchen implements. I heard my darling Son say rather loudly: “The hell you say!” I rush over thinking there’s something wrong. The checker says a patron before us paid our ticket in a random act of kindness. It was $68. A very nice gesture. Wow! I’m fairly certain it was the lady laughing so hard she was quivering. Next thing outta Sons mouth was to me and DIL, he says “I’ll buy you 2 anything you want here in the gift shop” (He still has my card, btw) This is how I got a ‘spurtle’ ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2021, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-bad-bad-spurtle/949299/2 "2021-08-22T03:36:27Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > Next thing outta Sons mouth was to me and DIL, he says “I’ll buy you 2 anything you want here in the gift shop” > **(He still has my card, btw)** It was at this point that I had to racewalk to the toilet. (At my age, **any** trip to the toilet is a racewalk.) ---
**Author:** ![gnoitall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bb73d2/32.png) [@gnoitall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gnoitall)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2021, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-bad-bad-spurtle/949299/3 "2021-08-22T03:40:09Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > **any** trip to the toilet I remain intrigued by the possible connections between this topic and “_spurt_le”. 🤔 ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2021, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-bad-bad-spurtle/949299/4 "2021-08-22T03:41:41Z")
I have to admit I “spurtled” some tea outta my mouth when I was laughing so hard. ---
**Author:** ![Dag\_Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@Dag\_Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dag_Otto)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2021, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-bad-bad-spurtle/949299/5 "2021-08-22T04:02:43Z")
Got it. A spurtle is a wet chortle. That’s probably more than I ever wanted to know. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2021, 8:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-bad-bad-spurtle/949299/6 "2021-08-22T08:05:13Z")
A ‘spurtle’ is a wooden kitchen tool. ---
**Author:** ![Die\_Capacitrix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/die_capacitrix/32/9_2.png) [@Die\_Capacitrix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Die_Capacitrix)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2021, 9:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-bad-bad-spurtle/949299/7 "2021-08-22T09:20:51Z")
I bought my spurtle in Scotland and have actually used it for making porridge (well, oatmeal). I am not surprised that one can be acquired in Cracker Barrel. It’s been decades since I’ve been in one, but the giftshop usually has candy, especially that strange flavor “horehound”. And I just found out that [crackerbarrel.com](http://crackerbarrel.com) is blocked for me. Probably doesn’t want anybody from foreign countries looking at their shop. ---
**Author:** ![Dag\_Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@Dag\_Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dag_Otto)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2021, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-bad-bad-spurtle/949299/8 "2021-08-22T14:48:16Z")
Sure, but I find that a wet chortle as a secondary definition of spurtle is perfectly cromulent. Language evolves. You’re doing fine work here. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2021, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-bad-bad-spurtle/949299/9 "2021-08-22T14:50:31Z")
Just fighting all that ignorance. It’s a dirty job but someone has to do it! 🤭…it’s taking longer than I thought ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2021, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-bad-bad-spurtle/949299/10 "2021-08-22T14:58:41Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > A ‘spurtle’ is a wooden kitchen tool. For a moment there, I was thinking that it was a Pokemon. ---
**Author:** ![BippityBoppityBoo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bippityboppityboo/32/5745_2.png) [@BippityBoppityBoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BippityBoppityBoo)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2021, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-bad-bad-spurtle/949299/11 "2021-08-22T20:44:20Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > At my age, **any** trip to the toilet is a racewalk.) Me too. Nice to have company, though. I have a spurtle already, so I would have picked out something else. Probably a countrified cookbook I could give my sister. ---
**Author:** ![carnut](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnut/32/3531_2.png) [@carnut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnut)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2021, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-bad-bad-spurtle/949299/12 "2021-08-22T21:54:30Z")
> [@Die\_Capacitrix](#): > > especially that strange flavor “horehound”. Horehound is actually a licorice-like, bitter herb imported to the U.S. by some strange, self-flagellant, European martyr who felt they would never survive the new land if they didn’t have horrible-tasting medicines of their own making. Someone turned this into a poor-man’s candy. My dad could eat them by the bucket if he had a chance. Yuck! - said by someone who loves licorice. ---
**Author:** ![tim-n-va](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tim-n-va/32/3001_2.png) [@tim-n-va](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tim-n-va)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2021, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-bad-bad-spurtle/949299/13 "2021-08-22T23:08:53Z")
My grandparents kept horehound candy in cold season and used as you might a cough drop today. A neighbor refused to say it calling it “bad woman candy”. ---
**Author:** ![VOW](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/vow/32/3043_2.png) [@VOW](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VOW)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2021, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-bad-bad-spurtle/949299/14 "2021-08-23T01:52:00Z")
I hate licorice, but I love horehound. Who has the military ID card for Commissary and Exchange shopping? ~VOW ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2021, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-bad-bad-spurtle/949299/15 "2021-08-23T02:01:17Z")
I naturally assumed you added a new pet to the list\*. Some kind of screwed-up turtle. And, yes, it wouldn’t ‘be right’. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2021, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-bad-bad-spurtle/949299/16 "2021-08-23T02:07:44Z")
Son-of-a-wrek was/is a Marine. I still have a military ID card from my Daddy who was a career Marine. ---
**Author:** ![VOW](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/vow/32/3043_2.png) [@VOW](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VOW)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2021, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-bad-bad-spurtle/949299/17 "2021-08-23T19:40:06Z")
My beloved Beck, The card of yours authorized from your Daddy’s service expired when you were eighteen. Or twenty-one, if you were a full-time college student. My Daddy was retired Air Force, and I had a dependent’s ID card, too. Twenty-one is when Uncle Sam determines you are no longer a dependent. I married an active duty Army man at 21, and thus obtained a dependent ID card based on his service. After he retired, I had to renew the card every four years. Finally, at the last renewal, the clerk declared we were probably going to stay married. After forty-some years, my expiration date now reads: Indefinite. What fun! ~VOW ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2021, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-bad-bad-spurtle/949299/18 "2021-08-23T20:41:08Z")
My Daddy’s card is a keepsake basically. I love it. I’ll always keep it. ---
**Author:** ![VOW](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/vow/32/3043_2.png) [@VOW](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VOW)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2021, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-bad-bad-spurtle/949299/19 "2021-08-23T20:46:50Z")
I understand completely ~VOW