# Bad Biped! Bad! Bad! Bad! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 17, 2006, 6:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-biped-bad-bad-bad/384483 "2006-12-17T06:32:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2006, 6:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-biped-bad-bad-bad/384483/1 "2006-12-17T06:32:46Z")
I go to the fridge to get myself something to drink and [Squeaker](http://usera.imagecave.com/tuckerfan/squeaker.jpg) comes racing out of the bedroom and up to the Magical Foodbox of the Biped[sup]TM[/sup], since she knows that’s where the _good_ (i.e. biped) food is kept. Figuring that it’s been a while since she had a treat, I reach in to grab the package of turkey pepperoni to give her a couple of slices. As I’m pulling the bag out, it slips out of my fingers and _smack!_ hits poor Squeaker square in the noggin’. She let’s out an even more pathetic sounding wail than usual, and looks up at me with a, “What did I ever do to you?” expression on her face. After much petting and bribes with pepperoni slices and extra sharp cheddar cheese, all seems to have been forgiven. ---
**Author:** ![Khampelf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Khampelf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khampelf)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2006, 6:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-biped-bad-bad-bad/384483/2 "2006-12-17T06:39:49Z")
You know that was just a ploy to get extra peperoni and some cheese out of you, right? She knew it was an accident, played it up, and you fell for it. Gullible Biped. Gullible. Gullible. ---
**Author:** ![Buckler\_of\_Swashing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Buckler\_of\_Swashing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Buckler_of_Swashing)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2006, 6:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-biped-bad-bad-bad/384483/3 "2006-12-17T06:47:57Z")
Awwww. Cute cat. And don’t they all just seem to innately know how to pull the ‘You have hurt me on the inside’ face at you? The other night I called [my own cat](http://flickr.com/photos/therese_mccormick/58730507/) to the magical box of which you speak in order to commence the distribution of spicy chicken breast slices (One for kitty, three for me, one for kitty… ) And when I saw she had arrived in the kitchen with due speed I opened the fridge door. In her face. Yep, she ran smack bang into it. Even spiced chicken could not heal the rift that sprung up between us. I’m still working on it. [Kitty](http://flickr.com/photos/therese_mccormick/58726197/in/photostream/) ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2006, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-biped-bad-bad-bad/384483/4 "2006-12-17T16:01:40Z")
One of the Bodoni cats knows how to limp for sympathy. She learned to do this in the normal way…she did it ONCE when she was stepped on, noticed that she got attention when she limped, and ever since then if she’s feeling sorry for herself, she limps. She wants US to feel sorry for her too! It’s amazing how quickly she can recover if she gets a bit of a food treat. She has figured out that she can gently stroke a human’s arm or face with a front paw, and we’ll stroke her. She knows that when the Magical Foodbox is opened, generally something good comes out. If one of the humans is silly enough to want a pickle or carrot stick, well, she’ll just insist on a bit of ham or cheese anyway. She recognizes the shape of a whole chicken, even frozen, and places her order early and often. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2006, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-biped-bad-bad-bad/384483/5 "2006-12-17T16:14:42Z")
Wow! Squeaker looks exactly like my childhood cat, down to the oversized ears and the pattern of splotches on her face. You didn’t adopt her, did you? (Nah, Trissa would be way old by now.) The current WhyCats are pretty good about not begging, except when the Can o’ Heavenly Sea Creature is opened, and they come a runnin’ for tuna juice. The female also has a violent hunger for teriyaki beef jerky. Literally violent - she’ll jump up on the table (which she’s normally good at staying off of) and try to tear the jerky from my mouth with her teeth. Or use her claw to hook it out of my hand and run away with it. Weird cat. ---
**Author:** ![Marlitharn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/779978/32.png) [@Marlitharn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marlitharn)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2006, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-biped-bad-bad-bad/384483/6 "2006-12-17T17:44:24Z")
My [Luna](http://www.flickr.com/photos/70299961@N00/317306549/) is still a kitten, and doesn’t seem to know what human food is; in fact, my husband left a bucket of KFC chicken bones in the living room last night, and she has shown no interest in it whatsoever. But I look forward to the day when she races into the kitchen and skids headfirst across the linoleum into the fridge door, because after all, isn’t entertainment like that one of the main reason to have a cat? 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![SnakesCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4af34b/32.png) [@SnakesCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SnakesCatLady)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2006, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-biped-bad-bad-bad/384483/7 "2006-12-17T18:11:42Z")
[Mr. Spock](http://good-times.webshots.com/photo/2793445100092851307NnvXUn) has recently discovered tuna is available in pouches - _with no water_. He has made his displeasure known, since the water from canned tuna is one of the very few people food treats the fuzzbutts get. How do cats who have never eaten anything that comes from a can know to come running to the sound of a can opener? Even a hand-cranked can opener? One of the major mysteries of life. ---
**Author:** ![scareyfaerie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scareyfaerie/32/3135_2.png) [@scareyfaerie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scareyfaerie)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2006, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-biped-bad-bad-bad/384483/8 "2006-12-17T18:26:39Z")
The sound of a tin being opened can be heard from miles away by your cat, it’s a well-known fact. Even if the contents of the tin isn’t anything they’d ever want to eat, your [cat](http://public.fotki.com/mups/orly/smallorly.html) will come running to find out what sort of treats you have for her. Of course once you realise the immense importance of your cat taking time out of her busy day to see what you’re doing, you feel duty-bound to find her something tasty as a reward for granting you a few seconds of her precious time. What? ---
**Author:** ![freckafree](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/freckafree/32/3050_2.png) [@freckafree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/freckafree)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2006, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-biped-bad-bad-bad/384483/9 "2006-12-17T18:29:14Z")
AAAARGH! Too. Many. Cute. Kitty. Pictures! Y’all are kilin’ me! This is my friend’s cat, [Borbet](http://i102.photobucket.com/albums/m81/fwhited/IMG_0055.jpg) (my feet, though). Because said friend lives in two cities and is only here during the week, the Magical Foodbox is usally pretty devoid of interesting contents. Therefore, everytime the door opens, Borbet feels compelled to jump IN the Magical Foodbox. This is my cat, [Julian.](http://i102.photobucket.com/albums/m81/fwhited/widebody2.jpg) He clearly needs to miss a few trips to the MFB. ---
**Author:** ![SnakesCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4af34b/32.png) [@SnakesCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SnakesCatLady)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2006, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-biped-bad-bad-bad/384483/10 "2006-12-17T18:45:47Z")
Damn, **freckafree** , is that cat as big as he looks in that picture, or is it just the camera angle? How much does he weigh? ---
**Author:** ![freckafree](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/freckafree/32/3050_2.png) [@freckafree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/freckafree)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2006, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-biped-bad-bad-bad/384483/11 "2006-12-17T19:02:38Z")
[QUOTE=SnakesCatLady] Damn, **freckafree** , is that cat as big as he looks in that picture, or is it just the camera angle? How much does he weigh? [/QUOTE] It’s partly camera angle, but he’s pretty damned big. He was a stray kitten we picked up when we visited the Hanford Nuclear Reservation. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Hanna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b3f665/32.png) [@Hanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hanna)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2006, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-biped-bad-bad-bad/384483/12 "2006-12-17T19:32:48Z")
[QUOTE=Tuckerfan] I go to the fridge to get myself something to drink and [Squeaker](http://usera.imagecave.com/tuckerfan/squeaker.jpg) [/QUOTE] Aww, she’s a sweetie. I love torties. I have to say one thing, though. Will you tighten up her collar a bit? I know a girl whose cat choked to death when she got her jaw caught on a too loose collar. It happened to me with my first cat and luckily I was there to free him, but it gives me the shivers still when I see cats with loose collars on. Carry on. ---
**Author:** ![Hanna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b3f665/32.png) [@Hanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hanna)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2006, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-biped-bad-bad-bad/384483/13 "2006-12-17T19:37:38Z")
[QUOTE=SnakesCatLady] [Mr. Spock](http://good-times.webshots.com/photo/2793445100092851307NnvXUn) [/QUOTE] Spock looks like my [Bo](http://home.comcast.net/~ladidah1/allcats.jpg) (he’s the one in front). ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2006, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-biped-bad-bad-bad/384483/14 "2006-12-17T20:08:24Z")
[QUOTE=Boscibo] Aww, she’s a sweetie. I love torties. I have to say one thing, though. Will you tighten up her collar a bit? I know a girl whose cat choked to death when she got her jaw caught on a too loose collar. It happened to me with my first cat and luckily I was there to free him, but it gives me the shivers still when I see cats with loose collars on. Carry on. [/QUOTE] Squeaker’s less than a year old, so she’s still got some growing to do, and it’s a breakaway collar so there’s less of a risk of her choking. Finally, while Squeaker might be a love sponge, she most _definately_ does _not_ like the biped putting collars on her or adjusting them. ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2006, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-biped-bad-bad-bad/384483/15 "2006-12-17T20:29:39Z")
[QUOTE=Marlitharn] My [Luna](http://www.flickr.com/photos/70299961@N00/317306549/) is still a kitten, and doesn’t seem to know what human food is; in fact, my husband left a bucket of KFC chicken bones in the living room last night, and she has shown no interest in it whatsoever. But I look forward to the day when she races into the kitchen and skids headfirst across the linoleum into the fridge door, because after all, isn’t entertainment like that one of the main reason to have a cat? 🆒 [/QUOTE] It’s even more fun when they run on the linoleum, try to change course, and can’t get enough traction. Two of our cats frequently run in the kitchen/den, and we’ll hear a THONK when they slam into the dryer, having tried and failed to turn aside at the last minute. The third cat is much too smart to do anything like that twice. ---
**Author:** ![Scubaqueen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c0e974/32.png) [@Scubaqueen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scubaqueen)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2006, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-biped-bad-bad-bad/384483/16 "2006-12-18T18:01:43Z")
[QUOTE=Buckler of Swashing] Awwww. Cute cat. And don’t they all just seem to innately know how to pull the ‘You have hurt me on the inside’ face at you? The other night I called [my own cat](http://flickr.com/photos/therese_mccormick/58730507/) to the magical box of which you speak in order to commence the distribution of spicy chicken breast slices (One for kitty, three for me, one for kitty.. ) And when I saw she had arrived in the kitchen with due speed I opened the fridge door. In her face. Yep, she ran smack bang into it. Even spiced chicken could not heal the rift that sprung up between us. I’m still working on it. [Kitty](http://flickr.com/photos/therese_mccormick/58726197/in/photostream/) [/QUOTE] grovel. much. it’s the only way. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Lissa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/85f322/32.png) [@Lissa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissa)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2006, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-biped-bad-bad-bad/384483/17 "2006-12-18T19:50:56Z")
[QUOTE=Lynn Bodoni] One of the Bodoni cats knows how to limp for sympathy. She learned to do this in the normal way…she did it ONCE when she was stepped on, noticed that she got attention when she limped, and ever since then if she’s feeling sorry for herself, she limps. She wants US to feel sorry for her too! It’s amazing how quickly she can recover if she gets a bit of a food treat. [/QUOTE] I remember a Doper a few years back who posted about a similar thing that their cat did. The cat’s paw was injured at one point and therewafter, whenever the cat got into trouble, it would show the Doper its paw: “See the poor hurt kitty?” ---
**Author:** ![DeVena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/dec6dc/32.png) [@DeVena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeVena)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2006, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-biped-bad-bad-bad/384483/18 "2006-12-18T20:37:57Z")
[QUOTE=Lissa] I remember a Doper a few years back who posted about a similar thing that their cat did. The cat’s paw was injured at one point and therewafter, whenever the cat got into trouble, it would show the Doper its paw: “See the poor hurt kitty?” [/QUOTE] That’s my Boy kitty! He initially did it because of a bad de-claw job. (Note: Boy is a pound kitty. The humane shelter gave him to us so that we would pay to fix what his original owners did to him. We paid for his second declawing to clean out the infections.) But in the weeks of having his paws wrapped up, he started the big-eyed, raised-paw “owie” look when he wanted pity. Still does it. In fact, he did it this morning. We got a new kitten\* this weekend. Boy is 14 years old; New kitty is 14 weeks old. As we were leaving for work, Boy met us at the door with one paw raised pitifully. “Take me with you or take out his batteries!” Tres pathetique. \*If Santa loves me and I get a digital camera, I’ll post pics after christmas. Gatsby, the new kitty, is the exact color of dulce de leche ice cream with caramel swirls, I kid you not. He has brown eyes and 12 toes on his front paws. He’s got thumbs, baby! ---
**Author:** ![Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spectre_of_pithecanthropus/32/12343_2.png) [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spectre_of_Pithecanthropus)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2006, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-biped-bad-bad-bad/384483/19 "2006-12-18T20:56:57Z")
I’m fascinated by these stories. I’ve been living with three or four cats for 11 years, and they seem totally unaware that the MFB has anything to do with food at all. However, they do seem to understand that significance of the kitchen generally. Generally in the morning, when I give them a small bowl of Catsip (in lieu of the leftover regular milk from my cereal), they will all crowd in the passage to the kitchen. But they never come running if they hear the fridge being opened.