# Bad boys, bad boys, whatcha gonna do? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 15, 2010, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-boys-bad-boys-whatcha-gonna-do/532518 "2010-03-15T04:12:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2010, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-boys-bad-boys-whatcha-gonna-do/532518/61 "2010-03-16T02:21:25Z")
I see where you are going with this, but you could have been more polite. Imagine this. > [@](#): > > “My Grandma was suddenly diagnosed with cancer!” > > "I really don’t want to get involved in your soap opera but- > > Your grandma was sick for years. We’d get together from time to time, and now and then she’d vomit blood. Other times she’d be fine. The last time I saw her was a month and a half ago. She didn’t vomit blood that time. > > We were just casual friends. I really didn’t think about whether or not she might be deathly ill. > > Sorry you are going through this, it must be very painful. But if you thought your Grandmother wasn’t sick, you are wrong. And if you think she is going to get better, in my opinion, you are also wrong." All the detail is just painful and unnecessary It comes off a bit like “ha ha I screwed your boyfriend!” Giving all these dates and details is just rubbing in her face. All you had to do is say “I’m sorry you are going through this. JP and I have had a casual sexual relationship for quite some time. It was a casual thing and I had no idea he was involved in an exclusive relationship with anybody. I know this is probably a painful time for you, and I hope for the best for you in the future.” It doesn’t matter who a person is or what they are going through, if you have bad news to break to someone, do it in the least painful way you can think of. ---
**Author:** ![Zoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a4c791/32.png) [@Zoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zoe)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2010, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-boys-bad-boys-whatcha-gonna-do/532518/62 "2010-03-16T02:43:39Z")
_Black humor_ is a literary or theatrical device that is intended to reflect the cruelty of real life to the point of absurdity. It isn’t real life itself and real pain isn’t funny. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2010, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-boys-bad-boys-whatcha-gonna-do/532518/63 "2010-03-16T02:44:00Z")
If she didn’t want to know if JP and I have a sexual relationship, she shouldn’t’ve asked. ---
**Author:** ![Taomist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@Taomist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taomist)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2010, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-boys-bad-boys-whatcha-gonna-do/532518/64 "2010-03-16T02:44:07Z")
Probably because, as stated previously, Maria’s expecting drama where there won’t be any. Twixter replied straight to the point, with no emotions at all, and that’s good. I imagine it’d be much easier for someone truly ‘wronged’ to just get the facts and then deal with it on her own. Edit…that response was to a post so far gone now that I really need to pay attention and QUOTE folks instead of assuming my post will follow immediately. \>.\< ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2010, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-boys-bad-boys-whatcha-gonna-do/532518/65 "2010-03-16T02:48:09Z")
> [@twickster](#): > > If she didn’t want to know if JP and I have a sexual relationship, she shouldn’t’ve asked. That’s completely avoiding the point. No one’s saying you shouldn’t have told her the truth. You just could have been more tactful and less sneering. Do you not care at all whether the guys you sleep with are in ostensibly committed relationships? If a guy told you straight up he was married and cheating on his wife, would it bother you in the least? ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2010, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-boys-bad-boys-whatcha-gonna-do/532518/66 "2010-03-16T02:51:22Z")
> [@Taomist](#): > > Probably because, as stated previously, Maria’s expecting drama where there won’t be any. > Twixter replied straight to the point, with no emotions at all, and that’s good. I imagine it’d be much easier for someone truly ‘wronged’ to just get the facts and then deal with it on her own. It’s also pretty easy just to _give_ the facts without taking such obvious pleasure in informing the person that she slept with her bofriend, and then went off to laugh at her on a message board and declare that she intended to keep sleeping with the illiterate cheater. ---
**Author:** ![Savannah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@Savannah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Savannah)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2010, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-boys-bad-boys-whatcha-gonna-do/532518/67 "2010-03-16T02:51:25Z")
> [@Tom\_Tildrum](#): > > I didn’t really focus on this before, but to specify in her response that she was having sex with him does seem a bit like gratuitous territory-marking. I think it’s information Maria needs to know, with regards to sexually transmitted diseases. ---
**Author:** ![Taomist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@Taomist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taomist)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2010, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-boys-bad-boys-whatcha-gonna-do/532518/68 "2010-03-16T03:00:36Z")
> [@Savannah](#): > > I think it’s information Maria needs to know, with regards to sexually transmitted diseases. Yep. Plus, Maria asked. I don’t think Twixter gloated at all to Maria. Other people get that out of it, somehow. Wonder what Maria thought? ---
**Author:** ![Brynda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e79b87/32.png) [@Brynda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brynda)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2010, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-boys-bad-boys-whatcha-gonna-do/532518/69 "2010-03-16T03:02:00Z")
I admit that I am shocked that the OP is so callous, but I think I am more shocked that she would have sex with someone who can’t punctuate. Ick. ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2010, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-boys-bad-boys-whatcha-gonna-do/532518/70 "2010-03-16T03:05:48Z")
I’m not sure if I’m more disgusted by twickster’s complete and total lack of empathy for someone else’s personal suffering, or by the fact that she is having sex, and planning to continue to have sex, with someone who types like that. Yeah, I’m an elitist bitch, but the first time I saw that shit in an email would be the last time the person ever heard from me. I guess the barely-literate lying douchebag must be pretty damn good in bed. ETA: Jinx, **Brynda**. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2010, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-boys-bad-boys-whatcha-gonna-do/532518/71 "2010-03-16T03:06:49Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > … the illiterate cheater… FTR, he speaks four (or is it five?) languages fluently … English is the fourth one he learned. And no, he can’t spell worth shit, nor does he touch type. ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2010, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-boys-bad-boys-whatcha-gonna-do/532518/72 "2010-03-16T03:09:20Z")
Oh, do they not use punctuation or capital letters in his native language? I guess that would explain a lot. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2010, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-boys-bad-boys-whatcha-gonna-do/532518/73 "2010-03-16T03:11:08Z")
> [@MsWhatsit](#): > > Oh, do they not use punctuation or capital letters in his native language? I guess that would explain a lot. In Arabic? No, I don’t think they do. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2010, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-boys-bad-boys-whatcha-gonna-do/532518/74 "2010-03-16T03:12:01Z")
> [@twickster](#): > > If she didn’t want to know if JP and I have a sexual relationship, she shouldn’t’ve asked. Are you fucking serious? ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2010, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-boys-bad-boys-whatcha-gonna-do/532518/75 "2010-03-16T03:12:19Z")
There is no excuse for typing like that. ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2010, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-boys-bad-boys-whatcha-gonna-do/532518/76 "2010-03-16T03:14:19Z")
First, Arabic does actually use punctuation, and second, what **Dio** said, and third, the guy is a lying douchebag even if he writes like Hemingway. The fact that he comes across as a teenage l33tspeaker is just icing on the rancid cake. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2010, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-boys-bad-boys-whatcha-gonna-do/532518/77 "2010-03-16T03:24:27Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > There is no excuse for typing like that. To quote **MOL** – are you fucking serious? Y’all, having extracted every bit of outrage from the rest of the situation that you can, now have to resort to the fact that his written communication isn’t up to your standards, thereby proving that he’s a bad person (and, by extension, that I’m a bad person for fucking him)? Okey doke. Knock yourselves out. It helps clarify for me how little I need to take seriously any feedback you might have for me on this. ---
**Author:** ![tacoloco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7993a0/32.png) [@tacoloco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tacoloco)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2010, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-boys-bad-boys-whatcha-gonna-do/532518/78 "2010-03-16T03:29:02Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > You don’t see what fucking somebody else’s boyfriend has to do with you? You think it’s “funny” to hurt that person and jab her about not wanting to be involved with her 'soap opera," when you ARE the soap opera. This guy is a scumbag. don’t you care that you’re banging a scumbag, and helping to cause pain to somebody else? Do you bang married guys too? Arte you under the impression that anything that doesn’t hurt you personally is morally ok? > > Incidentally, the way this douchebag types is morally indefensible all by itself. For all we know Maria is a pain in the ass who thinks because JP is fucking her that he’s exclusive. Do you have actual facts about what JP did or didn’t tell this woman are are we just going to be subjected to more asinine Dio style hyperbole? I already know the answer, since you won’t be able to shut the fuck up about things you have absolutely no knowledge of. And how much MORE fucking petty can you be to pick on how the guy wrote that message? Don’t you have something else you can rage at? The way I see it is that Twickster handled it ok. More tact could have been used, sure, but she’s not the bad guy in this little drama. I also don’t see any problem with Twickster being amused at the situation. She didn’t say she was amused at this woman’s issue. There’s nothing to see here. Move along. ETA: > [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > No, his cheating on his SO makes him a bad person. His typing just show that he’s an idiot to boot. Just because she said she was, doesn’t mean she actually was. She could be a psycho for all you know. ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2010, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-boys-bad-boys-whatcha-gonna-do/532518/79 "2010-03-16T03:29:09Z")
You’re not a bad person for fucking someone who writes like a subliterate teenager (although I wouldn’t). You’re a bad person for thinking that it’s hilarious that your fuck-buddy told some other girl that they were in a monogamous relationship, but he’s NOT, because he’s fucking YOU. Haw, haw, haw! Well, maybe you’re not a bad person. I don’t like to make those kinds of value judgments about other people. But it’s not a very pleasant thing to have admitted to, and IMO makes you look like a tool. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2010, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-boys-bad-boys-whatcha-gonna-do/532518/80 "2010-03-16T03:29:38Z")
> [@Twickster](#): > > To quote MOL – are you fucking serious? Y’all, having extracted every bit of outrage from the rest of the situation that you can, now have to resort to the fact that his written communication isn’t up to your standards, thereby proving that he’s a bad person No, his cheating on his SO makes him a bad person. His typing just show that he’s an idiot to boot. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-boys-bad-boys-whatcha-gonna-do/532518.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-boys-bad-boys-whatcha-gonna-do/532518.md?page=5)