# Bad boys, bad boys, whatcha gonna do? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 15, 2010, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-boys-bad-boys-whatcha-gonna-do/532518 "2010-03-15T04:12:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2010, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-boys-bad-boys-whatcha-gonna-do/532518/81 "2010-03-16T03:31:32Z")
I think for some of you this has nothing to do with twickster, JD, or Maria. ---
**Author:** ![tacoloco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7993a0/32.png) [@tacoloco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tacoloco)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2010, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-boys-bad-boys-whatcha-gonna-do/532518/82 "2010-03-16T03:32:27Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > I think for some of you this has nothing to do with twickster, JD, or Maria. Oh no. It’s got everything to do with screwing Twickster to the wall for a few folks. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2010, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-boys-bad-boys-whatcha-gonna-do/532518/83 "2010-03-16T03:35:10Z")
> [@tacoloco](#): > > For all we know Maria is a pain in the ass who thinks because JP is fucking her that he’s exclusive. For all we know JP is in _al Qaeda_. Can you prove that JP is not in _Al Qaeda_? Pointless speculation about unsupported hypotheses gets us nowhere. For everything you can make up, I can make up something too. The decent thing to do is take somebody at her word when she says the guy you’re sleeping with is her boyfriend. If she turns out to be lying, so what? No harm done. I’m still curious whether **Twickster** would care even if she DID know that a guy was cheating on someone. She hasn’t answered that question. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2010, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-boys-bad-boys-whatcha-gonna-do/532518/84 "2010-03-16T03:37:51Z")
> [@tacoloco](#): > > Oh no. It’s got everything to do with screwing Twickster to the wall for a few folks. Not for me. I’ve never had anything against her at all. I’m actually kind of surprised by her callousness with this situation. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2010, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-boys-bad-boys-whatcha-gonna-do/532518/85 "2010-03-16T03:39:00Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > I’m still curious whether **Twickster** would care even if she DID know that a guy was cheating on someone. She hasn’t answered that question. Sorry – so much hyperbole and so many hypotheses flying around, I missed the question. I don’t fuck married men, or men who are in committed relationships with other women. Neither of those is the case in this situation. ---
**Author:** ![tacoloco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7993a0/32.png) [@tacoloco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tacoloco)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2010, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-boys-bad-boys-whatcha-gonna-do/532518/86 "2010-03-16T03:41:21Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > FThe decent thing to do is take somebody at her word when she says the guy you’re sleeping with is her boyfriend. If she turns out to be lying, so what? No harm done. Oh bullshit. You want to be naive and think that, you go right ahead. But in the absence of actual facts that this random stranger had any relationship with JP, there is no reason to assume that she’s telling the actual truth. As far as callousness is concerned, welcome to the real world, Dio. > [@twickster](#): > > Neither of those is the case in this situation. Don’t worry. Dr. Dio has it all figured out. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2010, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-boys-bad-boys-whatcha-gonna-do/532518/87 "2010-03-16T03:43:37Z")
> [@twickster](#): > > Sorry – so much hyperbole and so many hypotheses flying around, I missed the question. > > I don’t fuck married men, or men who are in committed relationships with other women. > > Neither of those is the case in this situation. Um…yes it is. ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2010, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-boys-bad-boys-whatcha-gonna-do/532518/88 "2010-03-16T03:44:44Z")
Considering that someone he supposedly hasn’t seen for two months “somehow got into his laptop,” I don’t really think JP is the believable one in this situation. But maybe that’s just me; maybe other people frequently give their laptop and all of their passwords to exes that they haven’t seen for two months. What do I know? Anyway. Good luck, twickster. I’ve said as much as I’m going to in this thread. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2010, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-boys-bad-boys-whatcha-gonna-do/532518/89 "2010-03-16T03:45:18Z")
> [@tacoloco](#): > > Oh bullshit. > > You want to be naive and think that, you go right ahead. But in the absence of actual facts that this random stranger had any relationship with JP, there is no reason to assume that she’s telling the actual truth. > > As far as callousness is concerned, welcome to the real world, Dio. The correct thing to do is assume she’s lying and ignore any possibility that you could be inflicting suffering? ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2010, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-boys-bad-boys-whatcha-gonna-do/532518/90 "2010-03-16T03:48:38Z")
> [@twickster](#): > > To quote **MOL** – are you fucking serious? Y’all, having extracted every bit of outrage from the rest of the situation that you can, now have to resort to the fact that his written communication isn’t up to your standards, thereby proving that he’s a bad person (and, by extension, that I’m a bad person for fucking him)? > > Okey doke. Knock yourselves out. It helps clarify for me how little I need to take seriously any feedback you might have for me on this. What the…? Man, sometimes I seriously don’t even know how to respond to the crazy shit I see on this board, so I just ignore it, but this is just hilarious. I don’t care about his punctuation, even though it would suggest he is clearly retarded, but good for you for being on board with that. Seriously, you think she asked for it, so she got it. That’s your final answer? You’ve never heard of a shocked and hurt person asking questions whose answers they’re quite ready for? Apparently not, so your solution is “Lol, I fucked yer dude” and if she didn’t wanna hear it, she wouldn’t have asked. No, it’s not your responsibility to coddle people’s feelings, but if you’re going to blink twice into the headlights and say “Whuh? I was just answerin’ questions,” I’m gonna go, “Well you are, at best, stupid, and at worst, a knife-twister-in-backer.” I’m not going to pretend I feel a load of outrage here (because I don’t), primarily because I can’t shake the feeling that you’re all a bunch of fucking losers, but still, in principle, you’re kinda fucked up **twixeater**. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2010, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-boys-bad-boys-whatcha-gonna-do/532518/91 "2010-03-16T03:50:29Z")
Um, no it isn’t. The fact that she thought it was an exclusive relationship doesn’t actually tell us anything except that that’s what she thought. She claimed to have met him around the same time I did, meaning there was not an existing relationship when he and I first hooked up (and, according to JP, she was lying about that, whatever relationship there was having started one year ago, not four). Also, she lives in Canada, where JP is for a week or ten days about every two months. Yes, I do understand that there are long-distance relationships – but there’s nothing on the surface of either of those facts that would lead me to think there was a serious monogamous relationship there, let alone that I should somehow have known that there was. Sorry, gang, my conscience continues to be completely untroubled by this. ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2010, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-boys-bad-boys-whatcha-gonna-do/532518/92 "2010-03-16T03:53:45Z")
JP wouldn’t be the first guy to stick his dick in the crazy. Seems to be a failing of certain men, and if the cc: list on Maria’s email of several women is any indication, he is playing the spread and pretty much guarenteed to hit the jackpot once in a while. ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2010, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-boys-bad-boys-whatcha-gonna-do/532518/93 "2010-03-16T04:19:33Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > I’m gonna go, “Well you are, at best, stupid, and at worst, a knife-twister-in-backer.” > > I’m not going to pretend I feel a load of outrage here (because I don’t), primarily because I can’t shake the feeling that you’re all a bunch of fucking losers, but still, in principle, you’re kinda fucked up **twixeater**. [Moderator Warning] **MeanOldLady** , this is MPSIMS, not the Pit, and insults are not permitted. Telling another poster they are “fucked up” is over the line. And I know you phrased your “stupid” remark as a kind-of-hypothetical, but that’s inappropriate as well. This is an official warning. Dial it back. This goes for the rest of the posters in this thread too. Colibri Moderator ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2010, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-boys-bad-boys-whatcha-gonna-do/532518/94 "2010-03-16T04:21:30Z")
I am the first one to have posted something negative here but I have to come to **twickster** ’s defense on a few items. Firstly, we actually do not know that JP is a douche, his poor syntax notwithstanding. It could well be that Maria is an insane stalker. Right after my divorce I saw a woman casually a couple of times. We were totally upfront and clear that things would be casual. I decided that I wasn’t interested in even something casual with her and told her. She went nuts. She said that she developed feelings for me. A year later she was still trying to maintain contact. She made fake myspace profiles and pretended to be someone different to see what I was up to. Yes, she even messaged every other female who I had on my friend list to “warn” them that I was a scumbag. She claimed that I was seeing her when I was still married even though I met her months after the divorce. I still get nightmares about that chick. Secondly, I get why **twickster** was amused about aspects of this event. I have a dark sense of humor too. Hell, I have been cheated on and found aspects of it amusing. The fact that Maria thought that she was dropping a big old stink bomb and totally missed the mark is funny. That fact that she is hurting is not. Finally, the idea that **twickster** should have thoroughly checked out the pedigree of the dude that she seeing casually is crazy. Who the hell has time for that. I have twice been with women who it turned out were in a relationship at the time. I cut it off as soon as I found out. I felt bad for the guy but didn’t feel guilty because I had no idea. I still maintain that answering Maria’s email was a terrible idea and lacking in class and common sense. She should have left that shit alone. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2010, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-boys-bad-boys-whatcha-gonna-do/532518/95 "2010-03-16T04:21:48Z")
> [@Colibri](#): > > [Moderator Warning] > > **Mean Old Lady** , this is MPSIMS, not the Pit, and insults are not permitted. Telling another poster they are “fucked up” is over the line. And I know you phrased your “stupid” remark as a kind-of-hypothetical, but that’s inappropriate as well. > > This is an official warning. Dial it back. This goes for the rest of the posters in this thread too. > > Colibri > Moderator _Are you fucking serious?!_ Not that I’ll lose any sleep over the warning, but this entire thread has consisted of people telling her that her actions are fucked up. Would the phrase “messed up” have made it less warn-worthy? Surely, you shit me. ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2010, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-boys-bad-boys-whatcha-gonna-do/532518/96 "2010-03-16T04:45:32Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > _Are you fucking serious?!_ Not that I’ll lose any sleep over the warning, but this entire thread has consisted of people telling her that her actions are fucked up. Would the phrase “messed up” have made it less warn-worthy? Surely, you shit me. Yes, I’m absolutely 100-percent fucking serious. You’ve been around around long enough to know that direct insults are not permitted outside the Pit. You’ve already had three moderator warnings in only a couple of months, and if you keep this kind of behavior up you’ll find your posting privileges in jeopardy very shortly. Any further discussion of my moderation should be taken to ATMB. Failure to do this will get you another warning. Colibri Moderator ---
**Author:** ![Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sleeps_With_Butterflies)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2010, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-boys-bad-boys-whatcha-gonna-do/532518/97 "2010-03-16T04:51:56Z")
> [@Colibri](#): > > You’ve already had three moderator warnings in only a couple of months, and if you keep this kind of behavior up you’ll find your posting privileges in jeopardy very shortly. O my! **MeanOldLady** , I know _just_ how much this would upset you. Better watch out! Take your warning, don’t be butthurt about it. Butthurt would be bad. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2010, 5:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-boys-bad-boys-whatcha-gonna-do/532518/98 "2010-03-16T05:18:01Z")
> [@hajario](#): > > I am the first one to have posted something negative here but I have to come to **twickster** ’s defense on a few items. > > Firstly, we actually do not know that JP is a douche, his poor syntax notwithstanding. It could well be that Maria is an insane stalker. Could be. It also could be that \*\*twickster \*\*is fucking with us and inventing the entire drama out of whole cloth. We could postulate an infinite number of fantasy scenarios that imply various degrees of douchiness to the way she handled the situation and presented it here for our amusement. Based solely on her own transcript, however, **Maria** sounds fairly reasonable in contrast to the analphabetic, polyglot **PJ** , who offers up the typically nonsensical excuses of a cornered liar. The “black humor” might be more visible if I were also being occasionally serviced by the story’s antagonist (tee hee! The guy who’s breaking your heart is just a casual \*fuck \*to me! ROTFL! ) but that privilege has (at the time of this posting) yet to be offered. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2010, 5:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-boys-bad-boys-whatcha-gonna-do/532518/99 "2010-03-16T05:19:24Z")
> [@twickster](#): > > Um, no it isn’t. The fact that she thought it was an exclusive relationship doesn’t actually tell us anything except that that’s what she thought. Keep telling yourself that. I honestly don’t believe you really care, though. ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2010, 6:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-boys-bad-boys-whatcha-gonna-do/532518/100 "2010-03-16T06:34:50Z")
> [@twickster](#): > > Sorry – so much hyperbole and so many hypotheses flying around, I missed the question. > > I don’t fuck married men, or men who are in committed relationships with other women. > > Neither of those is the case in this situation. Obviously if he is knocking boots with Twickster, and has been since _before_ he started seeing Maria, he wasn’t in a committed relationship with Maria. If he was in a committed relationship, he would not have started knocking boots with anybody else. He would have politely said no thanks when approached. And how do we know Twickster approached him, maybe he approached her … [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-boys-bad-boys-whatcha-gonna-do/532518.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-boys-bad-boys-whatcha-gonna-do/532518.md?page=6)