# Bad Christian Bumper Stickers **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 25, 2000, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-christian-bumper-stickers/34478 "2000-09-25T17:04:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![Rossarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/3e96dc/32.png) [@Rossarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rossarian)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2001, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-christian-bumper-stickers/34478/121 "2001-08-12T00:41:51Z")
I saw another one of those black and white billboards with a message from God. It said… “Keep using my name in vain and I’ll make rush hour even longer.” To which I replied…gawdammit. 😃 The irony is that the billboard is on this isolated stretch of road on the way to Goldboro, NC. I don’t imagine it _ever_ has a rush hour. ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2001, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-christian-bumper-stickers/34478/122 "2001-08-12T01:40:40Z")
Sodemy and Givemora ---
**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2001, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-christian-bumper-stickers/34478/123 "2001-08-12T03:26:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Rossarian \* > > “Keep using my name in vain and I’ll make rush hour even longer.” There was a Pit thread a long while back about these billboards–this one is the one that inspired my sole Pit-post to date, ranting about how incredibly _petty_ this sounds. I’ve already gotten it out of my system, so I’ll leave it at that. I’ve heard that a group (associated with CoG?) has started the “Goddess Project” in response, posting Neopagan billboards like “The Goddess is within”. This bothers me a bit, but I do rather enjoy envisioning the stunned look on the faces of the people doing the “-God” billboards when they see them. **Dragonblink** , I don’t think I’ve ever seen one of the caustic Pagan slogans you mentioned (not that you see many Neopagan stickers here in the Bible Belt). If no one objects to the hijack, can you list some of them–we can keep this (relatively) impartial and bash those, too. ---
**Author:** ![psychobunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/54ee81/32.png) [@psychobunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/psychobunny)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2001, 5:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-christian-bumper-stickers/34478/124 "2001-08-12T05:53:06Z")
This is one I just saw: Got Jesus? (No-guess I’ll have to go pick some up at the market) ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2001, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-christian-bumper-stickers/34478/125 "2001-08-12T13:43:30Z")
In response to all the “God/Jesus is coming” I wish had a car so I could make a bumper sticker: God is a lousy lay. You can’t have both God and the Big Bang ---
**Author:** ![TV\_time](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f17d59/32.png) [@TV\_time](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TV_time)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2001, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-christian-bumper-stickers/34478/126 "2001-08-12T14:16:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Searching For Truth \* > \*\*A sign **Catalyst** mentioned today in the car- > > “The most powerful position for a Christian is on your knees.” \*\* I always thought this had something to do with oral sex. ---
**Author:** ![Legomancer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/779978/32.png) [@Legomancer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Legomancer)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2001, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-christian-bumper-stickers/34478/127 "2001-08-12T17:10:57Z")
ONe day my friend Gene and I were on the interstate in New Orleans. We were in the left land behind a slow moving boat-of-car. The car had its left turn signal on, and had been flashign it since we’d gotten behind it, five miles back. It also had a bumpersticker which read: GOD is the pilot, I’m just the co-pilot. When we were finally able to pass this vehicle, Gene rolled down his window and yelled to the perosn in the car, “TELL GOD HE’S GOT HIS LEFT TURN SIGNAL ON!” ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2001, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-christian-bumper-stickers/34478/128 "2001-08-13T05:33:34Z")
I wish it were possible to have an animated bumper sticker: [http://fff.fathom.org/pages/opalcat/pogo.gif](http://fff.fathom.org/pages/opalcat/pogo.gif) ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2001, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-christian-bumper-stickers/34478/129 "2001-08-13T20:36:39Z")
The last four words of this bumper sticker are wreathed in flames: “If You’re Living Like There’s No Tomorrow, You’d Better Be Right!” ---
**Author:** ![Caricci](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Caricci](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Caricci)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2001, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-christian-bumper-stickers/34478/130 "2001-08-13T20:56:12Z")
Okay, this wasn’t exactly a bumper sticker, but recently I saw a tank truck that fills pools with water (who even knew such things exist) and it had an American flag on it and the slogan “Filling for Jesus”. I can’t even begin to imagine what that means. ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2001, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-christian-bumper-stickers/34478/131 "2001-08-13T22:50:30Z")
For the Rapture stickers, here’s a link to the Darwin Awards. This has to be a fake submission, but it’s so funny. Super funny in fact. [http://darwinawards.com/cgi-bin/frames.cgi?/pending/pending010813-131131.html](http://darwinawards.com/cgi-bin/frames.cgi?/pending/pending010813-131131.html) ---
**Author:** ![vanilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/f19dbf/32.png) [@vanilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vanilla)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2001, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-christian-bumper-stickers/34478/132 "2001-08-13T23:51:12Z")
TV Time, Re: Christians on their knees, oral sex, etc. My former husband used to joke about that with nurses (how can you tell the head nurse? Dirty knees." ---
**Author:** ![phouka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c5a1d2/32.png) [@phouka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phouka)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2001, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-christian-bumper-stickers/34478/133 "2001-08-14T00:21:32Z")
There’s a dump truck company out here that has a slogan painted on the back end of all their trucks: “Jesus won’t dump you.” Oooookay. There are some caustic neo-Pagan bumperstickers out there, but darned if I can think of any of the bad ones. The one I do remember is “Born OK the first time”. One I wish I had for myself (don’t think I’d put it on my car, just take it out and giggle every now and then): “Jesus Love You; Cthuhlu Thinks You’d Make A Nice Sandwich” ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2001, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-christian-bumper-stickers/34478/134 "2001-08-14T00:42:38Z")
I’m ordering a Christ on a Pogo Stick mug 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Padeye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a9a28c/32.png) [@Padeye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Padeye)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2001, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-christian-bumper-stickers/34478/135 "2001-08-14T01:07:10Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by JadedNaive \* > \*\*As far as the “Jesus lives and fish don’t walk” \*\* That was a song by Sammy Hagar back in the mid eighties right? Jesus lives and fish don’t walk And they can’t touch my three lock box 1-2-3 lock box… I am Christian and don’t think folks should have such a problem with folks expressing their faith but I’ve never been keen on NFBSKing up a perfectly good car with bumper stickers. ---
**Author:** ![Caricci](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Caricci](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Caricci)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2001, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-christian-bumper-stickers/34478/136 "2001-08-14T02:11:33Z")
“Jesus died for my sins, and all I got was this lousy T-shirt.” This is too funny! ---
**Author:** ![Legomancer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/779978/32.png) [@Legomancer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Legomancer)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2001, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-christian-bumper-stickers/34478/137 "2001-08-14T02:13:56Z")
JESUS SAVES!.. and takes half damage. ---
**Author:** ![Cleophus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a88e57/32.png) [@Cleophus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cleophus)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2001, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-christian-bumper-stickers/34478/138 "2001-08-14T02:37:45Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mielikki \* > \*\* > ‘God hates nakedness!!’ > \*\* Of course, if God hates nakedness how does one take a shower without sinning? Would it then be logical to say God hates cleanliness? ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2001, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-christian-bumper-stickers/34478/139 "2001-08-14T03:30:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Eutychus55 \* > \*\*I’m reminded of a sig that a friend from the old AOL SDMB had, which started out as a bumper sticker : > > “God is my co-pilot” > > … which she then added … > > “but then we crashed in the mountains and I had to eat him.” \*\* I don’t think she added anything to an existing bumper sticker. There have been bumper stickers for at least a few years that say that whole thing “God was my co-pilot but then we crashed in the mountains and I had to eat him,” and t-shirts, and buttons…Guess there aren’t Newbury Comics stores (which, oddly enough sell CDs not comics) in your area, huh? They sell the “What would Satan do?” and " Jesus Hates Me" ones there too. Me, I’m still looking for one that says “Jesus saves, but Budda recycles.” ---
**Author:** ![Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/258eb7/32.png) [@Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranger)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2001, 6:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-christian-bumper-stickers/34478/140 "2001-08-14T06:56:12Z")
Jesus is coming… and he’s pissed off! Jesus saves, Allah protects, and C’thulhu thinks you’d taste good with some ketchup [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-christian-bumper-stickers/34478.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-christian-bumper-stickers/34478.md?page=8)