# Bad Christmas Songs **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 20, 2007, 5:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-christmas-songs/430678 "2007-12-20T05:13:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2007, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-christmas-songs/430678/41 "2007-12-20T17:41:50Z")
[QUOTE=Max Torque] Y’all can relax, because I win this thread. I declare victory based on the song [“I’m Gonna Spend My Christmas With A Dalek”](http://www.stomptokyo.com/extras/DalekXmas.mp3) by the Go Gos (not the Belinda Carlisle Go-Gos, an earlier British pop band). Listen and be dumbfounded. [/QUOTE] Try [Goin’ on a Date with Santa](http://www.fruitcakefollies.com/docs/Christmas%20Song%20lyrics/Going%20on%20a%20date%20with%20Santa.pdf) as performed by Dr. Elmo (of “Grandma Got Run Over…” fame). Yeah, a guy singing–badly–about going on a date with Santa. ---
**Author:** ![thirdwarning](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecccb3/32.png) [@thirdwarning](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thirdwarning)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2007, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-christmas-songs/430678/42 "2007-12-20T17:45:04Z")
[QUOTE=Slypork] While I am sick of all Christmas songs because they have been playing since Thanksgiving, at least acknowledge why the Little Drummer Boy was playing his freaking drums. The original lyrics didn’t say “Baby Jesu” or, worse yet, “Little Baby”. His name is Jesus, dammit! That kid with the snare was drumming for Christ. Say the name!QUOTE] I agree with you, but I think the original lyric is Baby Jesu, because it should rhyme with “I am a poor boy, too” But that “little baby” thing just makes me want to hit something. It doesn’t work within the song and it’s a really stupid change. Is it really too hard for people to understand “Baby Jesu”? ---
**Author:** ![jsc1953](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/5daacb/32.png) [@jsc1953](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jsc1953)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2007, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-christmas-songs/430678/43 "2007-12-20T17:48:09Z")
[QUOTE=gotpasswords] I have to nominate a local curiosity. Vic Damone’s _Christmas in San Francisco,_ a horrid, cheesy bit of work. The thing rambles on for quite a while, and I was able to find a small snip of the lyrics. It’s really much, much worse once set to the lounge-lizard style music: [/QUOTE] Ugh. Whenever we get in the car my wife insists on tuning to the literocklesstalk station, which has been playing carols 24/7 since Halloween. And “Christmas in SF” pops up with annoying frequency, along with the aforementioned “Last Christmas” and “Simply Having a blahblahblahba”. And Streisand’s “My Grown-Up Christmas List”. Puke. I actually love Christmas carols. My home playlist has about 10 hours of quality classic recordings. It’s missing this commercial crap that are really just cheezy pop love ballads with a vaguely xmas-y theme (generally, I’m so sad my baby isn’t with me on xmas). ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2007, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-christmas-songs/430678/44 "2007-12-20T17:59:11Z")
[QUOTE=Etumretniw] At the top (bottom?) of the list must be, for me, “Last Christmas”, I believe it’s called. You know- “Last christmas I gav you my heart, but the very next day, you gav it away. This year to sav me from tears[…]” And he really pronounces it like that- gav instead of gave, and sav instead of save. Maybe it’s some weird dialect with which I’m not familiar, but I hate it non the less. [/QUOTE] I never noticed it, but just now I listened on youtube, and you’re right. It is odd. The “gav” especially. ---
**Author:** ![ArizonaTeach](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/45deac/32.png) [@ArizonaTeach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ArizonaTeach)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2007, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-christmas-songs/430678/45 "2007-12-20T18:16:07Z")
I’ve held my tongue in the thread that is praising this song, so I hope the lovers of this tune show me the same respect, but I can’t begin to conceive why “Fairytale of New York” is either a good Christmas song or a good song in \*\*any \*\* sense of the word. ---
**Author:** ![UntouchedTakeaway](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/d78d45/32.png) [@UntouchedTakeaway](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UntouchedTakeaway)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2007, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-christmas-songs/430678/46 "2007-12-20T18:17:38Z")
Oh dear. This is my _favorite_ Christmas song. Honestly. ☹ I loathe Feliz Navidad (ubiquitous to the nth degree), Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas (Debbie Downer Christmas), and Mele Kalikimaka (especially by Bing Crosby). I also love Run, Run Rudolph - the Chuck Berry & the Dave Edmunds version. VCNJ~ [QUOTE=ultrafilter] I heard["I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas"](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KtqIM_bPTws) at the grocery store yesterday. If this song didn’t mention Christmas, I don’t think anyone would ever listen to it even once. What is it about Christmas music that causes otherwise reasonable people to lose any sense of good taste? [/QUOTE] ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2007, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-christmas-songs/430678/47 "2007-12-20T18:31:22Z")
[QUOTE=SaharaTea] “Simply Having a Wonderful Christmas Time” by Paul McCartney. I guarantee it will now be in your head the rest of the day. [/QUOTE] This song makes me physically angry. I want to go and beat the shit out of a mall santa every time I have to hear that pointless reverby synth line. ---
**Author:** ![eenerms](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/cdc98d/32.png) [@eenerms](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eenerms)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2007, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-christmas-songs/430678/48 "2007-12-20T18:35:49Z")
Granma Got Runover by a Reindeer ---
**Author:** ![NajaSong](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/9d8465/32.png) [@NajaSong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NajaSong)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2007, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-christmas-songs/430678/49 "2007-12-20T18:57:30Z")
[QUOTE=SaharaTea] A very close second: “Simply Having a Wonderful Christmas Time” by Paul McCartney. I guarantee it will now be in your head the rest of the day. [/QUOTE] I both hate this song and like it at the same time. I can’t explain it. I dislike the Christmas songs with “rock” in the title or lyrics. The song I really hate, the one that makes me want to harm someone or something is [“Christmas Wrapping” by The Waitresses](http://youtube.com/watch?v=bP_WH4heId4). I’m not sure how much airtime this one gets anymore, but I truly despise this sham of a song. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2007, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-christmas-songs/430678/50 "2007-12-20T19:03:56Z")
[QUOTE=Lady DeathKraft] I both hate this song and like it at the same time. I can’t explain it. I dislike the Christmas songs with “rock” in the title or lyrics. The song I really hate, the one that makes me want to harm someone or something is [“Christmas Wrapping” by The Waitresses](http://youtube.com/watch?v=bP_WH4heId4). I’m not sure how much airtime this one gets anymore, but I truly despise this sham of a song. [/QUOTE] Ooh…I LOVE “Christmas Wrapping”! The fact that the Shrek holiday special included that song redeemed the whole misbegotten thing in my eyes… ---
**Author:** ![mobo85](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b19c9b/32.png) [@mobo85](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mobo85)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2007, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-christmas-songs/430678/51 "2007-12-20T19:12:47Z")
[QUOTE=Wheeljack] Have you heard Charro’s rendition from Pee-Wee’s Christmas Special? She would very much like to wish you a Meddy Ceesmas from the bottle of her nuts. [/QUOTE] Ah, Charo, the woman who once referred to the decor of the _Surreal Life_ house as “Liberace with diarrhea, 1980.” Truly the first weirdo female celebrity- without the horrible Britney/Paris/Lindsay aftertaste. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2007, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-christmas-songs/430678/52 "2007-12-20T19:42:58Z")
[QUOTE=mobo85] As for _Christmas Shoes_, I’m pretty sure Jesus doesn’t care if you’re wearing nice shoes or not when you die- unless I just overlooked the part of the Bible where it says “no shirt, no shoes, no service” (or as Rev. Lovejoy put it, “no shirt, no shoes, no salvation”). [/QUOTE] Actually, God prefers [barefoot.](http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?book_id=2&chapter=3&version=31&context=chapter) He’s one of those “take your shoes off in the house” kind of Gods. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2007, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-christmas-songs/430678/53 "2007-12-20T23:24:43Z")
“Do they Know It’s Christmas” is absolutely the worst. ---
**Author:** ![Tikki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/5daacb/32.png) [@Tikki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tikki)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2007, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-christmas-songs/430678/54 "2007-12-21T00:37:19Z")
[QUOTE=Nanoda] I’m hearing **Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer** more times than I’d like to have this year, and for some reason have realized… those other reindeer are a bunch of sycophantic jackasses! They only like Rudolph 'cause he’s suddenly the big man’s right-hand reindeer, otherwise they’d still be giving him grief about his nose. So I don’t like _that_ song this year. [/QUOTE] What I hate is that Santa knows who’s naughty and who’s nice, right? Everywhere in the whole world, right? Thousands of miles away even. Shouldn’t the naughty or nice thing apply to his reindeer who are right under his freakin’ nose too? Why didn’t he step in and make them quit picking on Rudolf long before that fateful foggy night then? I guess he’s just not as nice as all the PR makes him out to be or he just didn’t care until he found a way he could exploit Rudy’s unusual talent. Bah humbug on Santa, I say! ---
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2007, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-christmas-songs/430678/55 "2007-12-21T01:21:37Z")
Whatever that song is with the line “Come on, it’s lovely weather for a sleigh ride together with you.”… I don’t have a problem with the lyrics, but the sound of a cracking whip does not sound festive to me. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2007, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-christmas-songs/430678/56 "2007-12-21T01:24:45Z")
[QUOTE=Tikki] What I hate is that Santa knows who’s naughty and who’s nice, right? Everywhere in the whole world, right? Thousands of miles away even. Shouldn’t the naughty or nice thing apply to his reindeer who are right under his freakin’ nose too? Why didn’t he step in and make them quit picking on Rudolf long before that fateful foggy night then? I guess he’s just not as nice as all the PR makes him out to be or he just didn’t care until he found a way he could exploit Rudy’s unusual talent. Bah humbug on Santa, I say! [/QUOTE] Oh, man, the Santa in that special (the Rankin Bass one) was EVIL. Purest evil. But that’s something of a hjijack… ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2007, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-christmas-songs/430678/57 "2007-12-21T01:37:40Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally Posted by **Solfy** > Also wonderful in its awfulness (but sadly not on my awful cd) is “Percy the Puny Poinsettia.” I have that, but on vinyl. It’s an acquired taste. And I like Weird Al’s “Christmas at Ground Zero” and “The Night Santa Went Crazy”, but not played very often. And not while sipping cocoa or at the fireside. Maybe they’re songs to play while paying bills. ---
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2007, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-christmas-songs/430678/58 "2007-12-21T01:46:42Z")
[The John Waters Christmas Album](http://www.amazon.com/John-Waters-Christmas-Various-Artists/dp/B00065GHWE/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=music&qid=1198201540&sr=8-1) ---
**Author:** ![Tool\_of\_the\_Conspiracy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bc79bd/32.png) [@Tool\_of\_the\_Conspiracy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tool_of_the_Conspiracy)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2007, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-christmas-songs/430678/59 "2007-12-21T02:33:03Z")
I heard a **Jack Johnson** version of “Rudolph” in a store this year that added a verse about Rudolph shaming the other reindeer for their shallowness. I used to hate Christmas songs, but I’ve been able to mostly avoid hearing them against my will, which helps a lot. Now I have four discs worth of Christmas music on my iPod (the three _Santastic_ collections and _The 8bits of Christmas_). My least favorite Christmas song is **The Jackson 5** ’s version of “Santa Claus is Coming to Town”. ---
**Author:** ![Satellite\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Satellite\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satellite_Guy)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2007, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-christmas-songs/430678/60 "2007-12-21T02:56:04Z")
**I Farted On Santa’s Lap, Now Christmas Is Gonna Stink For Me** [![]( " - YouTube") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=62SUfLfO6tM) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-christmas-songs/430678.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-christmas-songs/430678.md?page=4)