# BAD experience on train. 17 year old female vs 20 something man. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 22, 2005, 6:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-experience-on-train-17-year-old-female-vs-20-something-man/300565 "2005-04-22T06:53:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![bouv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bc8723/32.png) [@bouv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bouv)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2005, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-experience-on-train-17-year-old-female-vs-20-something-man/300565/21 "2005-04-22T15:23:14Z")
> [@Rilchiam](#): > > Yes. People like that count on their prey being afraid to make a scene. Next time yell “Fire”. That’s sure to get everyone’s attention. Why yell fire? It’s not a fire, it’s some scum of the earth trying to get his jollies off. Scream rape, or assualt, or just plain scream and point at him. In a packed train, once everyone knows, no way is he going to be able to leave that train, unless it’s being draggd by everyone else to the guard station. ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2005, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-experience-on-train-17-year-old-female-vs-20-something-man/300565/22 "2005-04-22T15:47:05Z")
I think siezing him by the testicles would have been the way to go. Whether you then choose to rotate them in the same or opposite directions would be situational. ---
**Author:** ![elfbabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b782af/32.png) [@elfbabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfbabe)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2005, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-experience-on-train-17-year-old-female-vs-20-something-man/300565/23 "2005-04-22T15:48:05Z")
There are worse things in the world than causing a ruckus. Say you’d yelled… oh, something like “What the #@& are you DOING, you #@&ing PERVERT?! Get the #@$& away from me!” What do you think everyone else would have done? I doubt they’d have thought, “Oh! How terribly rude of her to shout on the train!” and gone back to their newspapers. This is not an elementary school bully, ignore him and he’ll go away sort of situation. (although, come to think of it, that never worked in elementary school either…) He won’t get bored because you’re pretending you don’t notice. Your safety is more important than politeness! You probably know that, but the trick is to remember it when you’re freaking out, which is a lot harder. ---
**Author:** ![Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/troy_mcclure_sf/32/4150_2.png) [@Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troy_McClure_SF)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2005, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-experience-on-train-17-year-old-female-vs-20-something-man/300565/24 "2005-04-22T15:59:44Z")
> [@Rilchiam](#): > > Yes. People like that count on their prey being afraid to make a scene. Next time yell “Fire”. That’s sure to get everyone’s attention. WTF? Yeah, what we need is everyone trying to get _away_ from the area. “This guy is threatening to rape me” would do just fine, and wouldn’t end up in a stampede that could lead to even worse things happening. And so I repeat… WTF? ---
**Author:** ![Ashes\_Ashes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/db5fbb/32.png) [@Ashes\_Ashes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ashes_Ashes)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2005, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-experience-on-train-17-year-old-female-vs-20-something-man/300565/25 "2005-04-22T17:24:48Z")
A big-time personal security expert guy says yelling fire is better because ‘help’ is sometimes ignored (kids goofing around). The expert wasn’t referring to a crowded train though, where you could conceivably cause a stampede and result in injuries. Taking a picture of the guy sounds like a good idea, but I’d be worried he might do me harm in order to avoid the picture ending up as evidence. I’d want my friend to meet me at the platform in that case. ---
**Author:** ![Flander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8c91f0/32.png) [@Flander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flander)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2005, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-experience-on-train-17-year-old-female-vs-20-something-man/300565/26 "2005-04-22T17:32:19Z")
**Strainger on a Train** has some explaining to do. ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2005, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-experience-on-train-17-year-old-female-vs-20-something-man/300565/27 "2005-04-22T21:36:22Z")
> [@Ashes](#): > > A big-time personal security expert guy says yelling fire is better because ‘help’ is sometimes ignored (kids goofing around). Yes, that’s what I meant. Also, I was open to the possibility of people thinking, “Rubbing his genitals against her? Who’d do that?/What are ‘genitals’?/Ah, she’s probably trying to give her ex a hard time.” > [@](#): > > The expert wasn’t referring to a crowded train though, where you could conceivably cause a stampede and result in injuries. But I forgot about that. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Maxxxie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f14d63/32.png) [@Maxxxie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maxxxie)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2005, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-experience-on-train-17-year-old-female-vs-20-something-man/300565/28 "2005-04-22T23:53:17Z")
> [@Otto](#): > > Why on god’s green earth would you care about being “obvious”? Snap his pic as you exit the train, run-don’t-walk to the nearest constable and say “this man sexually battered me and threatened to rape me on the train.” I agree - I’d do everything in my power to make sure this guy got CAUGHT. So what if he sees you? Plus I’d jab him in the nuts with something sharp. Meanwhile, **Otto** , many of the train stations here in Brisbane are unattended outside of peak hour. They are also generally a little isolated, meaning there is often no police constable to run to. It sucks ☹ And to the OP, you should’ve impaled him with you heel, nice skirt or not. Max. ---
**Author:** ![Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stranger_On_A_Train)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2005, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-experience-on-train-17-year-old-female-vs-20-something-man/300565/29 "2005-04-23T01:19:41Z")
> [@Flander](#): > > **Strainger on a Train** has some explaining to do. Hey, now! FTR, I would recommend strongly against yelling “Fire!” Not only is it probably illegal (inciting a riot or somesuch) but you may end up getting a lot of people hurt. Yelling something like, “Get your hand off my ass/breast/crotch before I break it off for you,” and/or “Rapist!” is going to get you the more appropriate type of attention. An elbow in the eye (or in response to more immediate threats, to the throat) does wonders to dim the attention of such cretins. And don’t be afraid to snap a few pictures; that’s no crime, regardless of whether he sees you or not. Stranger ---
**Author:** ![Ca3799](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9f8e36/32.png) [@Ca3799](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ca3799)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2005, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-experience-on-train-17-year-old-female-vs-20-something-man/300565/30 "2005-04-23T02:08:24Z")
What an awful situation! Those kind of creeps depend on women being passive and not knowing what to do. I would have said very loudly “Hey, get your hand off my ass!” as a general all purpose attention getter and tried to shame him publicly. There is actually a word for guys who do this, but I cannot remember what it is… ---
**Author:** ![Sarah\_Woodruff](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df788c/32.png) [@Sarah\_Woodruff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sarah_Woodruff)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2005, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-experience-on-train-17-year-old-female-vs-20-something-man/300565/31 "2005-04-23T02:13:49Z")
Unfortunately this sort of thing is more common than you might think - it was even mentioned in one of the _Bridget Jones_ books - BJ remembered how excited she was when she first moved to London, right up until some creep masturbated into the back of her coat on an escalator in the Underground. ☹ I’ve never experienced anything worse than sleazy guys staring at me on the train, but a friend of mine was on the Paris Metro at peakhour, and some man pressed his erection into her back when he was standing behind her. She turned around and told him very loudly to FUCK OFF AND STOP TOUCHING ME (in French equivalent) and everyone stared at him in disgust. He quickly slunk away. Your best strategy would be to calmly and loudly draw attention to him. Loudly say, while looking at him, “Get your hands off me, you pervert!” Or some such thing. I know it’s easier said than done, your first instinct might be to pretend it’s not happening, but you owe it to yourself not to let the creep get away with it. ---
**Author:** ![Agent\_Foxtrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9fc29f/32.png) [@Agent\_Foxtrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Agent_Foxtrot)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2005, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-experience-on-train-17-year-old-female-vs-20-something-man/300565/32 "2005-04-23T02:19:41Z")
> [@Athiest Princess](#): > > Um…i’m a bit of a newbie…help if you please 😃 Welcome to the SDMB! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2005, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-experience-on-train-17-year-old-female-vs-20-something-man/300565/33 "2005-04-23T02:21:39Z")
> [@](#): > > There is actually a word for guys who do this, but I cannot remember what it is… The perpetrator is a _frotteur_; the action is [frottage](http://frotteurism.biography.ms/). ---
**Author:** ![Agent\_Foxtrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9fc29f/32.png) [@Agent\_Foxtrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Agent_Foxtrot)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2005, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-experience-on-train-17-year-old-female-vs-20-something-man/300565/34 "2005-04-23T02:39:30Z")
> [@Athiest Princess](#): > > Um…i’m a bit of a newbie…help if you please 😃 Welcome to the SDMB! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2005, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-experience-on-train-17-year-old-female-vs-20-something-man/300565/35 "2005-04-23T02:44:23Z")
**Princess** , regarding the name change: if you really want to change the spelling, email [tubadiva@aol.com](mailto:tubadiva@aol.com). ---
**Author:** ![Atheist\_Princess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a88e57/32.png) [@Atheist\_Princess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atheist_Princess)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2005, 11:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-experience-on-train-17-year-old-female-vs-20-something-man/300565/36 "2005-04-24T11:25:57Z")
Ok, well as for the skirt thing, I was joking to try and make myself feel a little better about the situation. I was more worried that he would hurt/rape/murder/ hunt/ me. Any of the above would do. I didnt get his picture, mainly because I couldnt without doing a complete 180 and I had no idea whether or not this guy would be armed. Its nice to know that I’m not alone with these experiences. And yes, pretty much every Brisbane station is unattended outside of business hours and usually at least a kilometre from anything open outside of business hours. I wrote a detailed description in my phone and have since been to the police. I guess that in that situation I froze and that probably worked out way better for the perp than he was expecting. I have never been in amny soprt of confronting situation like that and had no clue. If it happens again however… :mad: ---
**Author:** ![Siege](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dbc845/32.png) [@Siege](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siege)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2005, 11:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-experience-on-train-17-year-old-female-vs-20-something-man/300565/37 "2005-04-24T11:38:00Z")
**Princess** , I was also raised to be polite, ladylike, and not raise a fuss. Then I realized the damage _I_ incurred because no one wanted to protest and I was told it would be unladylike to object. I try to act like a lady, but that presumes the men around me are acting like gentlemen. If they don’t, then all bets are off. This guy gets away with this stuff because he knows that the women he does this to will let him. Give him a rude shock for me, please? CJ Nolo te bastardes carborundum! Don’t let the bastards get you down! ---
**Author:** ![Atheist\_Princess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a88e57/32.png) [@Atheist\_Princess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atheist_Princess)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2005, 12:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-experience-on-train-17-year-old-female-vs-20-something-man/300565/38 "2005-04-24T12:28:46Z")
I shall be repeating my journey at the same time and day this week and I only hope to ‘bump’ into this creep to give him either a) a ‘nice’ talking to b) a notice to appear in court or c) break bones. All for you 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2005, 1:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-experience-on-train-17-year-old-female-vs-20-something-man/300565/39 "2005-04-24T13:15:40Z")
No, **Athiest Princess**. It needs to be all for you. You own your body, yourself, your reactions, your privacy. If our support and caring is helping you then that’s terrific- but… defend yourself for yourself. If this guy is near you again, and tries anything, you DO have the advantage of screaming out, " THIS IS THE SECOND TIME IN ONE WEEK THAT YOU HAVE WANKED OFF AGAINST MY COAT, LEAVE ME ALONE ". The surrounding folks will likely be quite involved, then. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Griffin-Kentzel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_griffin-kentzel/32/14787_2.png) [@Larry\_Griffin-Kentzel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Griffin-Kentzel)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2005, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-experience-on-train-17-year-old-female-vs-20-something-man/300565/40 "2005-04-24T15:30:30Z")
I’ve e-mailed the Admins requesting that the typo in your username be corrected, **Atheist Princess**. **Cajun Man** for the SDMB [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-experience-on-train-17-year-old-female-vs-20-something-man/300565.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-experience-on-train-17-year-old-female-vs-20-something-man/300565.md?page=3)