# Bad fake names. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 4, 2004, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-fake-names/238214 "2004-04-04T19:04:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![saramamalana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/74df32/32.png) [@saramamalana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saramamalana)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2004, 6:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-fake-names/238214/21 "2004-04-05T06:16:35Z")
[hijack] omg omg omg **Bambi** you have FLEMING & JOHN as your sig!! Aaaaah!!! you are a rock star! [/hijack] Oh and haha yes I got to Anastasia Beaverhausen first, lol. ---
**Author:** ![if6was9](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e47c2d/32.png) [@if6was9](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/if6was9)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2004, 6:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-fake-names/238214/22 "2004-04-05T06:34:28Z")
> [@Kyla](#): > > I once saw Jon Stewart interview Wolf Blitzer on The Daily Show. I think that was his first question. > > JS: So…what’s your real name? > WB: It’s really Wolf Blitzer. > JS: Come on, man, you can tell me! > WB: No, it’s really my name. > JS: No it’s not. > > It was pretty funny. And I should say… I really don’t know that it’s NOT his real name… but… c’mon! Wolf frickin’ Blitzer! There’s NFW that’s someone’s REAL name! Hee hee. ---
**Author:** ![CandidGamera](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/candidgamera/32/2878_2.png) [@CandidGamera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CandidGamera)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2004, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-fake-names/238214/23 "2004-04-05T13:28:26Z")
I am reminded of the episode of Family Guy where family-head Peter Griffin wants to give a fake name… he looks around for inspiration, saying the syllables as they come to him… He spies a pea… “Pea…” then a woman crying… “Tear…” then a griffin flies through the room. “Griffin. Peter Griffin.” ---
**Author:** ![slortar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6bbea6/32.png) [@slortar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slortar)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2004, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-fake-names/238214/24 "2004-04-05T14:02:59Z")
> [@Lobsang](#): > > In the final episode of ‘I’m Alan Partridge’ Alan was arrested by the police. When asked what his name is he said ‘Bill’. Then he was asked for his second name. ‘Car’. For some reason I find really bad fake names like ‘Bill Car’ amusing\*. The kind that people without a creative bone in their body come up with on the spot. > [sub]\*Or maybe it’s just the way Alan Partridge (Steve Coogan) said it[/sub] I actually have a branch of relatives named “Carr”. No “bills”, but it’s only a matter of time. “Tim Carr” is really close, though. ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2004, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-fake-names/238214/25 "2004-04-05T14:16:18Z")
> [@MissGypsy](#): > > Whenever Phoebe on Friends needs a fake name, she uses (and I have no clue how to spell the last name) “Regina Felangee.” > > That’s right up there with the “Art Vandelay” used by George on Seinfeld. > > Yeah, I watch too much bad TV. I admit it. Phoebe’s fake name means _Queen of the Fingers_ in latin (remember she’s a massage therapist). ---
**Author:** ![Chimpy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a9adbd/32.png) [@Chimpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimpy)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2004, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-fake-names/238214/26 "2004-04-05T14:24:31Z")
There are three boys who are bunking off school and one of the boys says to the other two “If we get stopped by a cop make up your name from a nearby sign, ok?” so they carry on walking down the highstreet. After a while they are aproached by a police officer [stereotypical english police man] “allo allo what do we 'ave 'ere then? why arent you boys at school? i best take your names lads.” He turn to the first boy “And you are?” “err… (scanner the shops around him) I’m thomas” “Thomas who?” “thomas cook” Turns to second boy “And you?” “names mark, mark spencer” turning to the third boy “and who might you be?” “my name is ken” “ken what?” “ken tuckyfriedchicken” ---
**Author:** ![Ponder\_Stibbons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponder_stibbons/32/343_2.png) [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2004, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-fake-names/238214/27 "2004-04-05T15:06:59Z")
How about any of the following … Guy LeDouche Kenny Blankenship Vic Romano Captain Tenneal ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2004, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-fake-names/238214/28 "2004-04-05T15:28:51Z")
On the forum menu, the “Last Post” displayed for IMHO was in [What’s your Porn Star Name?](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=249237). This thread was listed directly below it for MPSIMS. 😃 > [@BabaBooey](#): > > Guy Incognito _That’s_ the one I was trying to remember from “The Simpsons”! I was wracking my brain for it and only coming up with stuff like “Phineas Q. Alias”, which I think I just made up myself. Phineas Q. Alias…heh. The real name of the hero of _Snow Crash_ is Hiro Protagonist, but that would be a great bad fake name! One I don’t think has been mentioned yet is the name Jan Brady, of _The Brady Bunch_, invented for her imaginary boyfriend. “George…[glancing at the glass on the table]…George Glass!” There was an episode of _The Simpsons_ where a fairytale witch claimed she had a boyfriend named George…Cauldron! The Discworld book _Soul Music_ features a military character with memory loss who checks his shirt tag in hopes of finding his name written there. His superior rejects “Private Dry-Clean-Only” and “Private Extra-Small” (something like that, at least, I don’t have the book here to check) before accepting “Cotton” as a reasonable surname. Years ago I saw one episode of some random sitcom in which the wife mentioned that she had a plausible pseudonym prepared (“Barbara Bishop”) in case she ever suddenly needed one. She didn’t want to be caught having to invent one on the spot, and was surprised that her husband had neglected to plan for such an eventuality. ---
**Author:** ![Ravenman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ravenman/32/2929_2.png) [@Ravenman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ravenman)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2004, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-fake-names/238214/29 "2004-04-05T15:53:05Z")
My favorite is Raymond Luxury-Yacht, but I understand that it is not pronounced like it is spelled. ---
**Author:** ![Phelan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a183cd/32.png) [@Phelan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Phelan)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2004, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-fake-names/238214/30 "2004-04-05T17:09:26Z")
In _The Wrong Guy_, Dave Foley was in a hospital room when a police officer asked him his name. He says “Enimabag… Enimabag Jones.” There’s two other times that he make’s up a name like that, but I can’t think of them right now. ---
**Author:** ![CandidGamera](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/candidgamera/32/2878_2.png) [@CandidGamera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CandidGamera)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2004, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-fake-names/238214/31 "2004-04-05T17:16:21Z")
> [@Lamia](#): > > Years ago I saw one episode of some random sitcom in which the wife mentioned that she had a plausible pseudonym prepared (“Barbara Bishop”) in case she ever suddenly needed one. She didn’t want to be caught having to invent one on the spot, and was surprised that her husband had neglected to plan for such an eventuality. That wouldn’t have been _Dharma and Greg_, would it? It sounds like a joke they’d do. ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Torque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Max\_Torque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Torque)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2004, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-fake-names/238214/32 "2004-04-05T17:16:32Z")
Names I have used on occasion (usually in online registrations when I don’t want to use my actual name): Garfield W. Falsename Yelnick McWawa Throckmorton Grunthummer Wingergonger They were taken from a Spitting Image special, an episode of _Cheers_, and a comic book newsletter, respectively. One good alias for women: Crystal Shanda Lear. ---
**Author:** ![Ghanima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Ghanima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ghanima)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2004, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-fake-names/238214/33 "2004-04-05T22:47:54Z")
[slight hijack] One of my favorite Simpson’s episodes is the one where Homer mails an irate letter to Mr. Burns, then regrets it and tries to get the letter back. He goes to the mail room, and says something like “I’m Mr. Burns, and I’m here to pick up my mail.” When the mailperson asks him what his first name is, he stands there for a second, and then says “I don’t know” and slinks out. Hah! ---
**Author:** ![OM\_Waterfall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/51bf81/32.png) [@OM\_Waterfall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OM_Waterfall)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2004, 12:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-fake-names/238214/34 "2004-04-06T12:09:18Z")
This is probably only funny at the time but what the hell. A friend and I were walking around the bush surrounding a tennis court looking for tennis balls. On a previous occasion when we had done this, a fat guy, presumably the owner, had walked out onto the court and called out, “Throw it ooover, thanks a lot boys!” and generally acted like a smug bastard. I, having stashed 12 odd balls in my school bag, gladly threw over the one in my hand and was on my way. My friend was less amused and picked up a large rock and duly threw IT over! Hence on this occasion, for fear of the fat guy hiding in wait for us, we had devised fake names to use in case we were caught. I had opted for the name of an enemy of ours, which I thought was a stroke of genius! As we only had one REAL enemy at the time he had decided to take the name of Ursula’s boyfriend in George of the Jungle and change it slightly to Lyle Vandaroot which we also thought was hilarious (get it- he want a root!!). Anyway, we were walking around gathering tennis balls when a random bushie comes wandering out. Immediately I yell out, “Run for it Lyle!!!” and fall about laughing uncontrollably. Even the bushie looked at me strangely after that! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![rockle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/73ab20/32.png) [@rockle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rockle)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2004, 12:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-fake-names/238214/35 "2004-04-06T12:22:37Z")
In the amazingly craptacular Madonna movie _Who’s That Girl?_ there is a scene where Madonna and Griffin Dunne are in the hospital and Madonna only knows that his character’s first name is “Lauden” and when they ask for his last name she says “Clear” - _Lauden Clear_. That’s a pretty good one, I think. I once told my husband that if I ever get arrested, I would tell the cops my name is Kinsey Millhone, since I doubt most people would get the reference at first. ---
**Author:** ![BabaBooey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/dfb087/32.png) [@BabaBooey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BabaBooey)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2004, 12:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-fake-names/238214/36 "2004-04-06T12:30:31Z")
Wait, just remembered: Uhhh (sees pea sitting on table) Pe… uhhh (seas tear dripping from girls eye) Pet…ter… uhhh (seas griffin fly across room) Pe…ter…Griffin, Peter Griffin!!! ---
**Author:** ![BabaBooey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/dfb087/32.png) [@BabaBooey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BabaBooey)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2004, 12:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-fake-names/238214/37 "2004-04-06T12:31:48Z")
I misspelled “sees” twice. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2004, 12:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-fake-names/238214/38 "2004-04-06T12:38:00Z")
> [@Qadgop the Mercotan](#): > > **Elfbabe** ’s grandpa Mercotan once took on the alias of **Harry Roofshingle** when questioned by police, back during the days of his youth. Sooo…you’ve got a hairy roofshingle, hmmm? Never heard of _that_ knickname for it, but _HEY!_ Who am I to question a doctor on anatomical matters? 😃😃😃 ---
**Author:** ![CandidGamera](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/candidgamera/32/2878_2.png) [@CandidGamera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CandidGamera)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2004, 12:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-fake-names/238214/39 "2004-04-06T12:51:02Z")
> [@BabaBooey](#): > > Wait, just remembered: > > Uhhh (sees pea sitting on table) Pe… uhhh (seas tear dripping from girls eye) Pet…ter… uhhh (seas griffin fly across room) Pe…ter…Griffin, Peter Griffin!!! Ahem. Post #23. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Bambi\_Hassenpfeffer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Bambi\_Hassenpfeffer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bambi_Hassenpfeffer)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2004, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-fake-names/238214/40 "2004-04-06T13:43:12Z")
I forgot – some times when I have to give a name to an online service (free catalog or e-mail account, etc.) I use Faustina Gumphrey. I’ve also used Anita Mandelay, which is a bad pun, but a conceivable name. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-fake-names/238214.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-fake-names/238214.md?page=3)