# Bad Jokes **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 19, 2001, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-jokes/50930 "2001-01-19T23:27:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![BigFriendlyGiant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/dbc845/32.png) [@BigFriendlyGiant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigFriendlyGiant)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2001, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-jokes/50930/1 "2001-01-19T23:27:33Z")
Bad Jokes I’ve herd some really bad jokes in the little time I’ve been alive but, I’m looking for the absolute worst of bad jokes and the joke “{Why is 6 afraid of 7, because 789” is out of the running. I appreciate all answers. ---
**Author:** ![Zenster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/cdc98d/32.png) [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2001, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-jokes/50930/2 "2001-01-20T00:16:51Z")
What do you get when you cross a mink with an octopus? A coat of arms! ---
**Author:** ![relic\_11](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/50afbb/32.png) [@relic\_11](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/relic_11)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2001, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-jokes/50930/3 "2001-01-20T00:18:16Z")
Three guys walked into a bar… The fourth one ducked. BA-DA-BING! ---
**Author:** ![BlackKnight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/eb8c5e/32.png) [@BlackKnight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlackKnight)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2001, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-jokes/50930/4 "2001-01-20T00:24:36Z")
Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. “Where’s my tractor?” 🙂 _or_ Q. What’s brown and sticky? A. A stick. ---
**Author:** ![Mr\_Mxyzptlk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/edb3f5/32.png) [@Mr\_Mxyzptlk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr_Mxyzptlk)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2001, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-jokes/50930/5 "2001-01-20T02:03:30Z")
Three Irishmen walked out of a bar…Hey it could happen. ---
**Author:** ![andyman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8491ac/32.png) [@andyman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andyman)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2001, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-jokes/50930/6 "2001-01-20T03:12:02Z")
From **Monty Python’s Flying Circus** What’s brown and sounds like a bell? Dung! This one’s best when everyone fairly well buzzed: Me: Ask me if I’m a truck? Victim: Are you a truck? \ Me: NO! ---
**Author:** ![Serendipity](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f17d59/32.png) [@Serendipity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Serendipity)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2001, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-jokes/50930/7 "2001-01-20T04:15:23Z")
Q: What has 75 balls and screws old ladies? A: Bingo. ---
**Author:** ![relic\_11](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/50afbb/32.png) [@relic\_11](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/relic_11)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2001, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-jokes/50930/8 "2001-01-20T04:26:54Z")
What sounds like "HA HA _plop plop_? A man laughing his balls off. ---
**Author:** ![Upham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Upham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Upham)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2001, 4:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-jokes/50930/9 "2001-01-20T04:32:11Z")
What’s green and smells like red paint? Red Paint! (i feel so dirty) ---
**Author:** ![Upham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Upham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Upham)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2001, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-jokes/50930/10 "2001-01-20T04:33:26Z")
I CAN’T BELIEVE I MESSED THAT UP!!! ---
**Author:** ![andyman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8491ac/32.png) [@andyman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andyman)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2001, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-jokes/50930/11 "2001-01-20T04:38:01Z")
Don’t worry about it **Upham** , it’s much funnier that way! ---
**Author:** ![Queen\_Isabella](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Queen\_Isabella](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Queen_Isabella)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2001, 5:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-jokes/50930/12 "2001-01-20T05:49:40Z")
Q. Why was the boy sad? A. Because his butt was blue. Q. How old is Mojo Jojo? A. 150. Q. Why did Santa give his sleigh to the Easter bunny? A. Because he didn’t have any reindeer. Q. What are the Powerpuff Girls made out of? A. Cotton. ---
**Author:** ![posatyvo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/b5ac83/32.png) [@posatyvo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/posatyvo)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2001, 5:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-jokes/50930/13 "2001-01-20T05:56:46Z")
A baby seal walked into a club. A Rabbi, a cowboy and a nurse walks into a bar and the bartender says, 'What is this a joke?" A horse walks into a bar, bartender says, “Why the long face?” Two peanuts are walking down the streat, one was a salted. A dog walks into a bar, holds up his bangadged hand and say, “I’m lookin’ for the man who shot my paw.” ---
**Author:** ![casdave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c6cbf5/32.png) [@casdave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/casdave)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2001, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-jokes/50930/14 "2001-01-20T18:26:03Z")
What do you call a boomerang that does not return ? A stick! What’s Rupert Bear’s middle name ? The! What is green, has six legs and if it jumped out of a tree onto you would kill you ? Snooker table Why do elephants have big ears ? Because Noddy won’t pay the ransom. What is bright pink and screams, A freshly peeled baby dipped in salt. ---
**Author:** ![Medea\_s\_Child](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@Medea\_s\_Child](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Medea_s_Child)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2001, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-jokes/50930/15 "2001-01-20T20:32:01Z")
A termite walks into a bar and asks, “Is the bartender here?” I slay me. ---
**Author:** ![Le\_Sang](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ee7513/32.png) [@Le\_Sang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Le_Sang)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2001, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-jokes/50930/16 "2001-01-20T20:42:55Z")
What’s a zebra? 26 sizes larger than an A bra… Why should you swallow your Viagra quickly? So you don’t get a stiff neck. > [@](#): > > _Originaly posted by casdave_ > **What is green, has six legs and if it jumped out of a tree onto you would kill you ? > Snooker table** Does it jump on cue? Just wait… I have more… muahahaha 😉 ---
**Author:** ![BigFriendlyGiant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/dbc845/32.png) [@BigFriendlyGiant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigFriendlyGiant)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2001, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-jokes/50930/17 "2001-01-20T20:46:06Z")
I remembered two more that were pretty bad. You hear about the gay sperm whale? Bit the head off a submarine and sucked out all the sea men. How do you circumcise a whale? With four skin divers. ---
**Author:** ![meek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ce73a5/32.png) [@meek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/meek)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2001, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-jokes/50930/18 "2001-01-20T21:01:07Z")
The great world and spiritual leader Gandhi was noted for walking great distances barefoot, and also having a very strange diet that made him very weak and also gave him horrible breath. So this made him a… **Super calloused fragile mystic hexed with halitosis.** 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Zenster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/cdc98d/32.png) [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2001, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-jokes/50930/19 "2001-01-20T21:50:10Z")
Did you hear about the swami who refused novacaine? He wanted to Transcend Dental Medication. ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2001, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-jokes/50930/20 "2001-01-20T22:53:51Z")
Q: How do you kill a blue elephant? A: Shoot him with a blue shotgun. Q: How do you kill a pink elephant? A: Squeeze his trunk until he turns blue, then shoot him with a blue shotgun. [sub] I love bad jokes…[/sub] [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-jokes/50930.md?page=2)