# Bad Lovecraft **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 29, 2011, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-lovecraft/583679 "2011-05-29T18:09:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 5\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2011, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-lovecraft/583679/1 "2011-05-29T18:09:40Z")
Sung to the tune of Bad Romance Note- The Derleth referred to is August Derleth, who collected and guarded Lovecraft’s works but could not write worth a damn- not a reference to the poster of that name. Oh, write me some bad Lovecraft Oh, write me some bad Lovecraft Cthulhu ooh, ooh, ooh Yog Sothoth in the broth Dagon on and on, Write some bad Lovecraft Cthulhu ooh, ooh, ooh Yog Sothoth in the broth Dagon on and on, Write some bad Lovecraft I want it banal, I want it pastiche I want it free of originality Write me some crud Crud, crud, crud, write me some crud. Forget the climax, forget the whole plot Just mention Abdul Al Hazred a lot Write me some crud Crud, crud, crud, write me some crud. (Crud, crud, crud, write me some crud) You know not pacing And you know not dialogue Write me some bad, bad Lovecraft I want shoggoths, and I want elder things, You and me could write some bad Lovecraft I want deep ones, something squamous with wings, You and me could write some bad Lovecraft. Oh, readin’ some bad Lovecraft, Oh, readin some bad Lovecraft, Cthulhu ooh, ooh, ooh Yog Sothoth in the broth Dagon on and on, Write some bad Lovecraft An eldritch horror, and an Elder Sign, Or a bunch of teens at the abandoned mine Write me some crud, Crud, crud, crud write me some crud A roving psycho, some blood and gore Make it worse than I’ve read before Write me some crud, Crud, crud, crud, write me some crud (Crud, crud, crud, write me some crud) Spellcheck’s beyond you And proper grammar too (Cause you’re a hack, baby) Write me some bad, bad Lovecraft. The Mythos is on the loose, You and me could write some bad Lovecraft. I want a story to make me snooze You and me could write some bad Lovecraft Oh, write me some bad Lovecraft, Oh, write me some bad Lovecraft Cthulhu ooh, ooh, ooh Yog Sothoth in the broth Dagon on and on, Write some bad Lovecraft Cthulhu ooh, ooh, ooh Yog Sothoth in the broth Dagon on and on, Write some bad Lovecraft Write without passion, baby This crap would drive HP crazy Write without passion, baby This crap would drive HP crazy Write without passion, baby This crap would drive HP crazy Write without passion, baby Spew crap on the pages, baby Something unspeakable, from ancient times, An inhuman language that makes a nice rhyme Ia! Ia! Cthulhu R’yleh While a dead moon is shining palely No, I don’t want any plot (Oh, write me some bad Lovecraft) Just say “eldritch” a lot Want your bad Lovecraft (Oh, write me some bad Lovecraft) Want your bad Lovecraft I want it bland, and I want it lifeless, You and me could write some bad Lovecraft I want it bland, like it was by Derleth You and me could write some bad Lovecraft Want your bad Lovecraft (Oh, write me some bad Lovecraft) Want your bad Lovecraft Want your bad Lovecraft (Oh, write me some bad Lovecraft) Cthulhu ooh, ooh, ooh Yog Sothoth in the broth Dagon on and on, Write some bad Lovecraft ---
**Author:** ![pinkfreud](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pinkfreud/32/17603_2.png) [@pinkfreud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pinkfreud)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2011, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-lovecraft/583679/2 "2011-05-29T21:43:16Z")
A while back, I was working on a song called “Girls Just Wanna Have Fhtagn,” but it was sucked into a seething vortex with eldritch non-Euclidean geometries, and I decided it’s best that I not write songs of that ilk. ---
**Author:** ![Suil\_Dubh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/85f322/32.png) [@Suil\_Dubh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Suil_Dubh)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2011, 12:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-lovecraft/583679/3 "2011-05-30T12:37:17Z")
> [@DocCathode](#): > > Note- The Derleth referred to is August Derleth, who collected and guarded Lovecraft’s works but could not write worth a damn- I don’t know about that. Derleth wrote “The Lonesome Place”, which is an absolute classic. > **[The Lonesome Place](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Lonesome_Place)** > > "The Lonesome Place" is a short story by American writer August Derleth. The story is part of a compilation of short stories in the book Lonesome Places. Published in 1962, by Arkham House Publishing, "The Lonesome Place" tells the story of two young boys terrorized by a mysterious creature who they believe lives in an abandoned grain elevator in their small town. > The Lonesome Place is told through the eyes of Steve, the narrator, and ... ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2011, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-lovecraft/583679/4 "2011-05-30T13:42:39Z")
_golf claps_ ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2011, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-lovecraft/583679/5 "2011-05-30T21:42:32Z")
> [@Suil\_Dubh](#): > > I don’t know about that. Derleth wrote “The Lonesome Place”, which is an absolute classic. > > [The Lonesome Place - Wikipedia](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Lonesome_Place) He also wrote “Bill’s Diary”, a fake blog by a kid growing up in rural Wisconsin. And had a newspaper editorial cartoonist illustrate it. Kind of a Huck Finn-meets-Newsies “Graphic Novel”, but done decades before anyone had put those two words together. Hmmm, it’s pretty sunny and optimistic. Maybe he was just too darn mentally healthy to write good Lovecraftian prose…