# Bad marketing concepts **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [March 29, 2004, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-marketing-concepts/237198 "2004-03-29T23:57:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![gregongie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/919ad9/32.png) [@gregongie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gregongie)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2004, 8:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-marketing-concepts/237198/21 "2004-03-30T08:06:54Z")
> [@](#): > > MidAmerican Energy: Obsessively, Relentlessly _At Your Service_ . Not a wise slogan. Reminds me of a deranged stalker, or the dorky kid in the classroom that you were nice to once and he never left you alone after it. I also find “Anti-Commercials” are particularly condescending (_eg_ the new line of Hardee’s ads, where they dis on themselves). Oh, Oh, any Old Navy bit, especially if Fran Dresher is invovled. I know it’s _meant_ to be stylized, but jeez, even the minorities they feature seem über-Aryan. ---
**Author:** ![asterion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/4da419/32.png) [@asterion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/asterion)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2004, 1:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-marketing-concepts/237198/22 "2004-03-30T13:10:45Z")
> [@cheddarsnax](#): > > WE LOVE THE SUBS! > (I actually like these ads, I just wanted to be the first to say it…) I’m not sure, but I could swear I saw a new one last night on Adult Swim using Space Ghost. ---
**Author:** ![snorlax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@snorlax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snorlax)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2004, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-marketing-concepts/237198/23 "2004-03-30T13:26:36Z")
A great one here in the UK recently was the recent launch of a bottled water made by Coca-Cola called “Dasani”. It was marketed as something like “pure as bottled water gets” but they soon had to admit that it was actually tap water with some minerals added. Further hilarity ensued when it was found that the additives were carcinogenic. Dasani was pulled from the shelves and you won’t be seeing it in the UK anytime soon. [http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/business/3566233.stm](http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/business/3566233.stm) ---
**Author:** ![DemonSpawn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ac8455/32.png) [@DemonSpawn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DemonSpawn)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2004, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-marketing-concepts/237198/24 "2004-03-30T13:33:26Z")
I live in a small town in Germany. A guy living in our appartment complex works for a marketing firm that sponsors track and field sports athletes. The company is called “Athletic Sports Sponsoring Team”. The name shown on the company cars is … wait for it … **ASS Team** :smack: Muahahaha … A German marketing company, choosing an English company name and then displaying it as ASS-Team … I grin whenever I see their cars. ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2004, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-marketing-concepts/237198/25 "2004-03-30T13:54:45Z")
And we musn’t forget Jerry Della Femina from his book about his life in advertising: > [@](#): > > One guy said, “Well, What are we going to do about Panasonic?” And every body sat around, frowning and thinking about Panasonic. Finally, I decided, what the hell, I’ll throw a line to loosen them up-I mean, they were paying me $50,000 a year plus a $5,000-a-year expense account, and I thought they deserved something for all this bread. So I said, “Hey, I’ve got it, I’ve got it.” Everybody jumped. Then I got very dramatic, really setting them up. “I see a Headline, Yes, I see this Headline.” “What is it?” they yelled. “I see it all now,” I said, “I see and entire campaign built around this headline.” They all were looking at me now. “The headline is, the headline is : ‘From Those Wonderful Folks Who Gave You Pearl Harbor’.” ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2004, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-marketing-concepts/237198/26 "2004-03-30T18:17:56Z")
> [@don't ask](#): > > And we musn’t forget Jerry Della Femina from his book about his life in advertising: I was inspired by Della Femina’s book early in my career. So inspired, in fact, that I was once ended a presentation to a client with the words “And if this doesn’t work, we’ll torch the place and collect the insurance!” I had forgotten the next line from Della Femina’s book. “Nobody laughed.” ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2004, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-marketing-concepts/237198/27 "2004-03-30T20:00:51Z")
> [@Green Bean](#): > > **What can Brown do for you?** > > As my husband said the other day: “It could dirty my underpants!” Eww. > > Why is UPS calling themselves “Brown,” anyway? I’m with you. I always think of the slogan that ran during the 80s when our local town had a water shortage: If its brown, flush it down, if its yellow, let it mellow. I hated the slogan then, and everytime I hear UPS call themselves Brown, I think of it. ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@Silver\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Fire)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2004, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-marketing-concepts/237198/28 "2004-03-30T20:04:24Z")
> [@Ranchoth](#): > > And…anyone seen that commercial with the piece of talking, skydiving, bubblegum? I **love** that commerical! [Shameless Self-Promotion…](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=242848) 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Truth\_Seeker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/5fc32e/32.png) [@Truth\_Seeker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Truth_Seeker)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2004, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-marketing-concepts/237198/29 "2004-03-30T20:54:42Z")
> [@](#): > > The recent Mercedes (I think) ads. “Our engines are powered by enslaved demons! If you don’t watch out, they’ll break free and trash your house!” Yeah, Mercedes has been on a roll lately, haven’t they. Does anyone remember the ads for, IIRC, the new Mercedes C-class a year or so ago? They were trying to highlight the idea that this Mercedes cost a lot less than you would expect a Mercedes would cost. Their tag line was “ **The new Mercedes C-class: It’s not what you’d expect from a Mercedes.** ” For some reason, I only saw this ad a couple of times. . . . ---
**Author:** ![RogueRacer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7ab992/32.png) [@RogueRacer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RogueRacer)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2004, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-marketing-concepts/237198/30 "2004-03-30T21:39:09Z")
Those Hardee’s ads either took some serious intestinal fortitude or desperation. Considering the large number Hardee’s closures around here in the last five years, I’m guessing the later. I always had to wonder about U-Haul’s slogan, “An Adventure in Moving.” Who in their right mind wants moving to be an adventure? ---
**Author:** ![Tarrsk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/97f17d/32.png) [@Tarrsk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tarrsk)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2004, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-marketing-concepts/237198/31 "2004-03-31T00:39:59Z")
The whole “I’m lovin’ it!” ad campaign from McDonald’s gets on my nerves. It’s not bad enough to be funny, it’s just plain _bad_. ---
**Author:** ![picunurse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7bcc69/32.png) [@picunurse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picunurse)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2004, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-marketing-concepts/237198/32 "2004-03-31T01:05:43Z")
> [@Diceman](#): > > One of the Japanese car companies (Mazda?) has the slogan “Wake up and Drive.” > > I imagine a car that’s so boring and uninspired that people fall alseep behind the wheel. I think that was Mitsubishi. Mazda is “Zoom Zoom” 😉 ---
**Author:** ![kevja](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/aeb1de/32.png) [@kevja](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kevja)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2004, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-marketing-concepts/237198/33 "2004-03-31T01:53:30Z")
Count me as another person that thinks the UPS “what can brown do for you” is flat out awful. Who ever though of it, and conviced UPS to use it, must have been some kind of salesman. It would have made sense if it was a nickname everyone in the world had been using for years, and everyone refered to the UPS store or UPS drivers “the brown guy” or “the brown store” and UPS said hey, let’s just go with it. Everybody calls us that anyway. But no one does. And I’ve never heard anyone refer to them as “brown” since the campaign started. As stated by previous posters, it evokes a gross and “dirty” image. ---
**Author:** ![RachelChristine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7ab992/32.png) [@RachelChristine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RachelChristine)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2004, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-marketing-concepts/237198/34 "2004-03-31T01:55:13Z")
There was an ad they ran when I used to live in California. I don’t even remember who it was that paid for it, though probably it was one of those cigarette companies doign the public service thing. Anyway, it had a relatively good-looking man standing there smoking a cigarette and a teen girl came up and asked him for one. The commercial was something about how you can get in trouble for giving cigs to minors or whatever, but the big line they said (and I think it was even written on the screen) was something to the effect of: “She better be damn cute.” I’m thinking a) why the profanity? b) profanity in an anti corruption of minors commercial? c) is it okay to give cigarettes to minors if they are cute? d) what if she’ll sleep with him? can he give her the cigarette then? It annoyed me to death every time! ---
**Author:** ![HelloKitty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ecccb3/32.png) [@HelloKitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HelloKitty)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2004, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-marketing-concepts/237198/35 "2004-03-31T03:16:47Z")
One that has always bugged me: OutBack Steakhouse’s tagline: “No Rules, Just Right” Uh, dude, you are a RESTAURANT…I hope you have some freaking rules to follow!! Such as: wash your hands after you go to the bathroom, don’t drop my steak on the floor then brush it off and bring it to me, don’t let the bartender spit in my beer–yeah, those kind of rules!! ---
**Author:** ![Jeff\_Lichtman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jeff_lichtman/32/1531_2.png) [@Jeff\_Lichtman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jeff_Lichtman)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2004, 8:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-marketing-concepts/237198/36 "2004-04-01T08:05:03Z")
> [@cheddarsnax](#): > > How about Denny’s: **A Good Place To Sit And Eat**. Who’d they pay for that one, a five year old? This one isn’t as dumb as you think. They’re saying Denny’s isn’t a fast food restaurant - that it’s a good place to sit as well as to eat. Most fast food restaurants have tiny tables and uncomfortable chairs to encourage customers to leave. Denny’s message is that you can stay there a while. ---
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2004, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-marketing-concepts/237198/37 "2004-04-01T15:04:53Z")
I’ll third “What can Brown do for you?” It was particularly strange to see it scolling across the screen on the History Channel recently, during a show about Hitler’s SA\* nazi thugs. - The SA were known as brownshirts :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Ponder\_Stibbons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponder_stibbons/32/343_2.png) [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2004, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-marketing-concepts/237198/38 "2004-04-01T15:24:24Z")
> [@Sublight](#): > > … > 2) **MTV Japan.** A young man is sitting on the sidewalk next to a bin of records for sale. He gets up and walks to a nearby toilet, then sits down for a moment. After he gets up he reaches into the toilet and pulls out a double-handful of shit, which he then flings to the ground and begins kneading with his hands. After molding the shit into a flat patty, he drops a heavy press on top of it and holds it down for a moment. When he lifts the press up, the shit has been turned into a vinyl album. He slaps an MTV label on the record and puts it in the bin with the rest. Man, I don’t see how they can get away with this one. I mean, surely the record companies would be up in arms for revealing industry secrets? ---
**Author:** ![Ponder\_Stibbons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponder_stibbons/32/343_2.png) [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2004, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-marketing-concepts/237198/39 "2004-04-01T15:27:25Z")
If a UPS truck burns rubber peeling out of the parking lot, would you call that “leaving a Brown streak”? ---
**Author:** ![ricksummon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ricksummon/32/3333_2.png) [@ricksummon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ricksummon)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2004, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-marketing-concepts/237198/40 "2004-04-01T15:30:22Z")
I’ve been told, but cannot confirm, that just before the SARS scare, the Hong Kong Tourist Board was planning to use the slogan **Hong Kong Will Take Your Breath Away.** [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-marketing-concepts/237198.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-marketing-concepts/237198.md?page=3)