# Bad marketing concepts **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [March 29, 2004, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-marketing-concepts/237198 "2004-03-29T23:57:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![js\_africanus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/87869e/32.png) [@js\_africanus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/js_africanus)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2004, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-marketing-concepts/237198/41 "2004-04-01T15:37:03Z")
> [@RealityChuck](#): > > Form following function, I guess, but I can’t imagine any viewer wanted to put _that_ in their mouth. I’m not entirely sure, but I think that particular item may go in the other end… ---
**Author:** ![rackensack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e5b9ba/32.png) [@rackensack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rackensack)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2004, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-marketing-concepts/237198/42 "2004-04-01T21:43:39Z")
My personal favorite was the tagline Killian’s Red was using on billboards and such several years ago: “Next time you want something special, Killian’s Red instead.” Killian’s Red instead, presumably, of something special. ---
**Author:** ![blowero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/41988e/32.png) [@blowero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blowero)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2004, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-marketing-concepts/237198/43 "2004-04-01T22:19:06Z")
> [@Khadaji](#): > > Today, for the third day in a row, I heard Volkswagon advertise that their seats are more firm than American made cars. Wow! I can’t even imagine how bad their cars are if they think this is their best selling point. Actually, while they may not be wording it in the best possible way, it’s quite true. I drive a Jetta, and it has the best seats I’ve ever experienced. American cars tend to have squishy, unsupportive seats that leave you feeling fatigued after extended periods of sitting in them. It was actually a big factor in why I bought the car. It’s too bad their point isn’t getting across, because it’s really true. Those are some bad- ass seats.🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2004, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-marketing-concepts/237198/44 "2004-04-01T22:28:02Z")
> [@HelloKitty](#): > > One that has always bugged me: OutBack Steakhouse’s tagline: “No Rules, Just Right” > > Uh, dude, you are a RESTAURANT…I hope you have some freaking rules to follow!! Such as: wash your hands after you go to the bathroom, don’t drop my steak on the floor then brush it off and bring it to me, don’t let the bartender spit in my beer–yeah, those kind of rules!! Hey, howsabout the whole “Outback Steakhouse” concept in the first place? It’s an American company (first one was in Tampa, Florida), it doesn’t serve Australian beef, it doesn’t employ Australian servers… What the fuck is “Outback” about it? ---
**Author:** ![rjung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/45deac/32.png) [@rjung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjung)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2004, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-marketing-concepts/237198/45 "2004-04-02T00:06:43Z")
> [@ricksummon](#): > > I’ve been told, but cannot confirm, that just before the SARS scare, the Hong Kong Tourist Board was planning to use the slogan **Hong Kong Will Take Your Breath Away.** [True.](http://health_info.nmh.org/HealthNews/reuters/NewsStory0410200328.htm) ---
**Author:** ![pesch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pesch/32/4925_2.png) [@pesch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pesch)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2004, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-marketing-concepts/237198/46 "2004-04-02T00:37:40Z")
> [@blowero](#): > > Those are some bad- ass seats.🆒 Now _that line_ would work! ---
**Author:** ![Eats\_Crayons](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/278dde/32.png) [@Eats\_Crayons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eats_Crayons)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2004, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-marketing-concepts/237198/47 "2004-04-02T01:17:32Z")
When McDonald’s first came out with their little pita thing, the McWrap, I stared at my TV set agog. Seriously, there was no denying it. It may have looked good on paper, but when you say it _out loud_ as they did in all the TV and radio commercials it sounded like: “McCrap.” ---
**Author:** ![LilyoftheValley](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/54ee81/32.png) [@LilyoftheValley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LilyoftheValley)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2004, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-marketing-concepts/237198/48 "2004-04-02T01:33:14Z")
There’s a non-chain hardware store that I used to commute past on a regular basis. They were located on a street corner, and had decided to paint the wall on the side street with their name and a huge slogan: _ **Home of Great Values and More…** _ Every time I passed that slogan, I’d think: _Home of Great Values and…Not-so-Great-Values? Outright Ripoffs?_ ---
**Author:** ![Morbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morbo/32/389_2.png) [@Morbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morbo)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2004, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-marketing-concepts/237198/49 "2004-04-02T01:38:00Z")
Have you guys seen the commercial for the hangover cure [Double Chaser](http://www.doublechaser.com/default.htm)? I swear, I thought someone was putting me on. There’s this young, white, successful couple dressed up and getting ready to go to work in the morning. The guy is either a method actor and drank five pitchers of sangria the night before the shoot, or it’s the best makeup job I’ve ever seen. The woman looks fresh and perky. The gist of their conversation is that although they both went out and got shithouse drunk the night before, (on a worknight), the wife feels great because she had some Double Chaser! Hilarious. I’m also rather baffled by the hip, afro-spoting, sassy, rapping Sprite bottle that hangs out with his buddies gawking at the ladies. Does Coca-Cola think they’ve got the next Lil’ Penny? Puh-leeze. Of course my all-time favorite ad slogan was for the incredibly shitty Schaefer Beer: “It’s the one beer to have when you’re having more than one.” ---
**Author:** ![dotchan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9d8465/32.png) [@dotchan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dotchan)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2004, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-marketing-concepts/237198/50 "2004-04-02T01:50:57Z")
Not a bad commercial in the sense of the OP, but one that was so effective all I remember is the commercial and not the company: Guy is being wheeled through an emergency room on a gurney. The lower half of his body is covered by a sheet, and his legs are in the approximate position of a woman giving birth. Random medical terms being bandied about. And then… “He’s got money coming out the wazoo!” A male nurse peeks under the sheets and boggles. “I’ve never seen a man with money coming out the wazoo before.” Narrator voice (paraphrased): “Unless this is you, invest with our company.” Logo of company, which I no longer remember. ---
**Author:** ![erislover](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/71e660/32.png) [@erislover](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/erislover)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2004, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-marketing-concepts/237198/51 "2004-04-02T01:59:05Z")
> [@rjung](#): > > Mike Diamond Plumbing has been running a series of radio ads out here, where they talk about how their plumbers show up on time and smell good. > > Yes, “smell good.” I saw this on a trip to Indianapolis. Hilarious. And all this time I never knew it was a problem! ---
**Author:** ![Redsland](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9de0a6/32.png) [@Redsland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Redsland)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2004, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-marketing-concepts/237198/52 "2004-04-03T01:49:52Z")
> [@dotchan](#): > > “He’s got money coming out the wazoo!” > > A male nurse peeks under the sheets and boggles. “I’ve never seen a man with money coming out the wazoo before.” > > Narrator voice (paraphrased): “Unless this is you, invest with our company.” That would be E-Trade. (They of the clapping million-dollar dancing monkeys.) 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2004, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-marketing-concepts/237198/53 "2004-04-03T02:11:46Z")
A hospital here in the Twin Cities has billboards up… We treat heart attacks 33% faster. Faster than what? So what, when I’m having a heart attack I should drive halfway across the city so you can treat me faster? I didn’t realize people in the middle of heart attacks made choices about their hospital. Is this in any way related to a positive outcome? If so, wouldn’t “our heart attack patients have a 40% better chance of survival” be a better billboard? ---
**Author:** ![ZebraShaSha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/eada6e/32.png) [@ZebraShaSha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZebraShaSha)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2004, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-marketing-concepts/237198/54 "2004-04-03T02:43:36Z")
Wasn’t there one running recently during the NCAA stuff for a beer? (Bud-Light?) “If you are going to watch a game, grab a great tasting beer…If you are going to watch the entire tourny, grab a beer with half the calories!” I paraphrased but you get the idea. They were selling their beer by indirectly saying that it sucks. ---
**Author:** ![Burnt\_Sugar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee59a6/32.png) [@Burnt\_Sugar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Burnt_Sugar)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2004, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-marketing-concepts/237198/55 "2004-04-03T05:28:21Z")
There was an ad showing here that showed a couple driving in a 4wd covered in mud. They got home and got out, and then the car shook like a wet dog and sprayed them both with mud. Wow! I really want that car! :rolleyes: I think they were trying to show how tough it was… I saw an ad once for a dishcloth. The dish cloth was full of little holes. They were claiming it was more hygenic than other dishcloths because _you could wash the germs out through the holes_, or words to that effect. :eek: I only saw that one once. ---
**Author:** ![Odinoneeye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/97f17d/32.png) [@Odinoneeye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odinoneeye)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2004, 7:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-marketing-concepts/237198/56 "2004-04-03T07:17:59Z")
anyone remember Herb, the one guy in America who hadn’t tried a Whopper? It’s been 20 years or so since that campaign but it still sticks in my mind. Of course, I guess that was the point… ---
**Author:** ![hlanelee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3bc359/32.png) [@hlanelee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hlanelee)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2004, 12:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-marketing-concepts/237198/57 "2004-04-03T12:22:38Z")
I remember Burger King asked us all to “Eat a Pita”. I was not going to be referred to as a “Pita Eater”. ---
**Author:** ![DrMemory](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/977dab/32.png) [@DrMemory](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrMemory)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2004, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-marketing-concepts/237198/58 "2004-04-03T14:23:51Z")
A recent advert for “Tampex” leaves me mystified. Their new selling point seems to be that they have wrappers that don’t make much noise. A Krinkle proof wrapper. Now, I’m not sure if this is a big source of embarrassement for some gals, but why is this an issue? The commercial had my wife and I looking at each other with the WTF look. ---
**Author:** ![dal\_timgar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a88e57/32.png) [@dal\_timgar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dal_timgar)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2004, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-marketing-concepts/237198/59 "2004-04-03T21:10:33Z")
Is there such a thing as a GOOD marketing concept? > [@Khadaji](#): > > Today, for the third day in a row, I heard Volkswagon advertise that their seats are more firm than American made cars. Wow! I can’t even imagine how bad their cars are if they think this is their best selling point. > > What commersials are working for you? ---
**Author:** ![Lisa-go-Blind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7c8e57/32.png) [@Lisa-go-Blind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lisa-go-Blind)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2004, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-marketing-concepts/237198/60 "2004-04-03T21:13:38Z")
**DrMemory** , that reminds me of a print ad for tampons I’ve seen recently. Tampax (I think) are trying to make their tampons look friendlier by _anthropomorphizing_ it. The tampon has a smiling face and arms and it’s waving to the reader. It’s a tad creepy. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-marketing-concepts/237198.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-marketing-concepts/237198.md?page=4)