# Bad marketing concepts **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [March 29, 2004, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-marketing-concepts/237198 "2004-03-29T23:57:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Steel\_Rat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dc4da7/32.png) [@Steel\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steel_Rat)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2004, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-marketing-concepts/237198/61 "2004-04-03T21:44:16Z")
Out here in Oak Harbor, WA, there was a small store called “The Baby Store”, and below the name, on the side of the building it said “Buy, Sell, Trade” Wow, why wait for those pesky Adoption papers to go through! ---
**Author:** ![Chairman\_Pow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/838e76/32.png) [@Chairman\_Pow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chairman_Pow)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2004, 4:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-marketing-concepts/237198/62 "2004-04-04T04:59:19Z")
For a Ford car: [http://www.mplayer74.com/movies/KA2.mpg](http://www.mplayer74.com/movies/KA2.mpg) It’s not even that your car has a built-in lethal security system, _it wants to kill_. Another commercial in the series shows a pigeon flying by the car and the hood snaps up, killing the pigeon and then lowers itself, ostensibly waiting for another victim. I seriously hope that the people who buy these cars have a long talk with it to avoid any mistaken identity issues. ---
**Author:** ![Brainiac4](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/brainiac4/32/3534_2.png) [@Brainiac4](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brainiac4)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2004, 5:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-marketing-concepts/237198/63 "2004-04-04T05:42:47Z")
Not a commercial, but one of the finest examples of advertising I have ever seen… almost all of the restaurants in the Twin Cities used to stock the same brand of sugar in little packets. I have no idea what the brand was (which I suppose makes it bad advertising), but the slogan I will remember to my dying day: “Sugar… if you know what’s good for you.” I have this mental image of a well-dressed thug enunciating that. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![ioioio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ioioio/32/316_2.png) [@ioioio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ioioio)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2004, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-marketing-concepts/237198/64 "2004-04-04T15:07:28Z")
> [@Lisa-go-Blind](#): > > **DrMemory** , that reminds me of a print ad for tampons I’ve seen recently. Tampax (I think) are trying to make their tampons look friendlier by _anthropomorphizing_ it. The tampon has a smiling face and arms and it’s waving to the reader. It’s a tad creepy. Was it the face of Prince Charles? ---
**Author:** ![NothingMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b77776/32.png) [@NothingMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NothingMan)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2004, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-marketing-concepts/237198/65 "2004-04-04T16:32:44Z")
> [@Ranchoth](#): > > …anyone seen that commercial with the piece of talking, skydiving, bubblegum? > > It’s amusing enough if you’re watching it…but if you happen to just be _listening_ to the TV, with that ad in heavy rotation, you’re quickly left wanting to jam that slimy little bastard under a theater seat. > > Ranchoth > (“What are YOU looking at, you _mangy beast?!_”) To add to the general weirdness of this commercial, I’ll point out that the talking piece of gum _has a freakin’ Scottish accent_. WTF?? It sounds like hes trying to mimmick Fat Bastard. For some reason this does not entice me to want this gum. Is it me? ---
**Author:** ![whiterabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/cab0a1/32.png) [@whiterabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whiterabbit)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2004, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-marketing-concepts/237198/66 "2004-04-04T16:46:20Z")
> [@DrMemory](#): > > A recent advert for “Tampex” leaves me mystified. Their new selling point seems to be that they have wrappers that don’t make much noise. A Krinkle proof wrapper. Now, I’m not sure if this is a big source of embarrassement for some gals, but why is this an issue? The commercial had my wife and I looking at each other with the WTF look. I think it’s Kotex. If I’m in a public bathroom and somebody hears “crinkle” from my stall, too damn bad, ladies, virtually all of us have periods (or had them). You all know about it. I don’t care if you know I’m having mine. I’m also one of those who don’t mind pooing in public bathrooms, so maybe I’m less squeamish than most, but that ad left me thinking, “WHO CARES???” ---
**Author:** ![tanstaafl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ba8739/32.png) [@tanstaafl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tanstaafl)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2004, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-marketing-concepts/237198/67 "2004-04-05T21:35:53Z")
> [@Brainiac4](#): > > Not a commercial, but one of the finest examples of advertising I have ever seen… almost all of the restaurants in the Twin Cities used to stock the same brand of sugar in little packets. I have no idea what the brand was (which I suppose makes it bad advertising), but the slogan I will remember to my dying day: > > “Sugar… if you know what’s good for you.” > > I have this mental image of a well-dressed thug enunciating that. 🙂 I remember that one and you weren’t the only one. It was Dixie Crystals sugar, btw. Several of us used to joke about getting visited by the Dixie Crystals hit squad if we tried to use artifical sweetner. There was a billboard here in Atlanta until recently for a plumbing company that read: **We Boldly Go Where You’ve Gone Before** followed by smaller text that read You’ll Have the Con Back in No Time I don’t even want to _think_ about what demographic they were targeting with that one. ---
**Author:** ![LilyoftheValley](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/54ee81/32.png) [@LilyoftheValley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LilyoftheValley)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2004, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-marketing-concepts/237198/68 "2004-04-05T22:09:01Z")
> [@whiterabbit](#): > > I think it’s Kotex. > > If I’m in a public bathroom and somebody hears “crinkle” from my stall, too damn bad, ladies, virtually all of us have periods (or had them). You all know about it. I don’t care if you know I’m having mine. > > I’m also one of those who don’t mind pooing in public bathrooms, so maybe I’m less squeamish than most, but that ad left me thinking, “WHO CARES???” I don’t care, either, but is it possible it was targeted at teenage girls? In middle school and high school, I can imagine some girls being embarrassed. * * * I also have a new “bad marketing concept” to add. Today I was behind a truck from a company called something like “Surplus Office Furniture”. Their slogan, painted proudly on the truck: **We have the GOOD, the BAD, and the UGLY** Um…so maybe some of the furniture you get is a bit ugly, but is the _bad_ furniture also a selling point? ---
**Author:** ![Don\_Draper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b2d939/32.png) [@Don\_Draper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_Draper)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2004, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-marketing-concepts/237198/69 "2004-04-05T23:04:47Z")
Last year, there were the perplexing Ikea ads depicting people having awkward, intimate arguments in showrooms. The worst ad IMO was the one which opens on a father, mother & teenage daughter: Daughter: “I’m pregnant.” Mother: “Oh dear God!” Father (to mother): “This is all your fault! You’re the one who smoked pot in college!” enter salesman, abruptly interrupting the conversation. salesman: “What do you think?” family: “Oh we love it.” Camera zooms out to show they are in a store showroom. Too many “WTF?” moments in one single commercial. * * * And recently, buses here in NYC have been showing ads for Benetton or Tommy Hilfiger or whatever (some clothing line, I forget exactly which) making fun of AIDS awareness ads. The original AIDS ads read: “1 in 500 Americans is infected with the AIDS virus, 1 in 250 know it.” The new clothing ad shows a guy & girl model facing each other, and reads: “1 in 250 Americans are infected with the AIDS virus, 1 in 500 know it, who’s kidding who?” Not only does it make no sense, not only does it not in any way feature the clothes it’s supposed to advertise, it is in the most appalling taste to make fun of a fatal disease, especially in a city like NYC which has one of the highest rates of HIV infection in the nation. Did they think they were being cutting edge by making fun of a life threatening illness? ---
**Author:** ![Danalan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/76d3ee/32.png) [@Danalan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Danalan)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2004, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-marketing-concepts/237198/70 "2004-04-05T23:29:32Z")
> [@dotchan](#): > > Not a bad commercial in the sense of the OP, but one that was so effective all I remember is the commercial and not the company: > > Guy is being wheeled through an emergency room on a gurney. The lower half of his body is covered by a sheet, and his legs are in the approximate position of a woman giving birth. > > Random medical terms being bandied about. And then… > > “He’s got money coming out the wazoo!” > > A male nurse peeks under the sheets and boggles. “I’ve never seen a man with money coming out the wazoo before.” > > Narrator voice (paraphrased): “Unless this is you, invest with our company.” > > Logo of company, which I no longer remember. E-trade. Brilliant ad. The doctor comes into the ER, looks under the sheet and says: “Get this man into a private room”! ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2004, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-marketing-concepts/237198/71 "2004-04-06T00:33:39Z")
Jaguar, mid-1990’s, radio commercial. I’ve only remembered one line, but I still hold it dearly as one of the dumbest ever said in a commercial. “As part of our efforts to improve quality, we have cut the production staff by 50%”. To this day, I’d like to see how Jaguar solves some of its’ other problems. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Scrivener](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@The\_Scrivener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Scrivener)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2004, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-marketing-concepts/237198/72 "2004-04-06T01:52:57Z")
There’s a car manufacturer [Volkswagon?] that has a commercial showing a guy with grossly mismatched feet. His foot is an absolutely gigantic monstrosity – I think it might actually be like a club foot – so he finds it difficult to find a car that suits him. Until, that is, he tries the [VW?], which brings a big smile to his face. Brilliant. Finally, we have a car specifically engineered for people with grotesquely huge club foot for a pedal foot. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2004, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-marketing-concepts/237198/73 "2004-04-06T02:04:40Z")
> [@The Scrivener](#): > > There’s a car manufacturer [Volkswagon?] that has a commercial showing a guy with grossly mismatched feet. His foot is an absolutely gigantic monstrosity – I think it might actually be like a club foot – so he finds it difficult to find a car that suits him. Until, that is, he tries the [VW?], which brings a big smile to his face. > > Brilliant. Finally, we have a car specifically engineered for people with grotesquely huge club foot for a pedal foot. :rolleyes: It’s not a club foot, it’s just bigger than the other one. A club foot is usually smaller than the other foot, as well as being deformed and/or twisted at an odd angle to the rest of the body. And the point is that the car is designed for someone with a _lead_ foot; that is, someone who likes to drive really fast. Lastly, I’m pretty sure that the entire commercial is an homage to the _Kids in the Hall_’s recurring character, M. Piedlourde, and as such, is officially Totally Cool. ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2004, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-marketing-concepts/237198/74 "2004-04-06T02:09:43Z")
There used to be a car commercial running (I’m guessing it was a national ad, som someone else must have seen it) I don’t remember what car it was for, VW maybe. Anyways it started with an empty hockey rink and some sort of ballet type music playing. The car drives out onto the rink and starts sliding very gracefully all over the rink, as if it’s doing some sort of ballet dance. All I thought every time I saw that commercial was “Boy, that car handles like crap on the ice” Being in Wisconsin, I guess I won’t get one. ---
**Author:** ![Cunctator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/43a26b/32.png) [@Cunctator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cunctator)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2004, 6:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-marketing-concepts/237198/75 "2004-04-06T06:19:41Z")
Here in Australia several years ago there was a television advertisment for a brand of tyres - I think it was Goodyear. While the excellent road-handling qualities of the tyres were being extolled, the soundtrack was blaring out the Dies Irae from Mozart’s Requiem. I always thought it was a tasteless marketing concept to use funeral music while trying to promote the safety qualities of a tyre. ---
**Author:** ![Raymond\_Luxury\_Yacht](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/raymond_luxury_yacht/32/4099_2.png) [@Raymond\_Luxury\_Yacht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Raymond_Luxury_Yacht)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2004, 7:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-marketing-concepts/237198/76 "2004-04-06T07:04:03Z")
I am absolutely shocked that this thread has had over 70 posts and nobody has mentioned what is generally regarded as the greatest marketing fuck up of all time. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2004, 7:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-marketing-concepts/237198/77 "2004-04-06T07:05:24Z")
> [@jehovah68](#): > > I am absolutely shocked that this thread has had over 70 posts and nobody has mentioned what is generally regarded as the greatest marketing fuck up of all time. So am I! ---
**Author:** ![Raymond\_Luxury\_Yacht](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/raymond_luxury_yacht/32/4099_2.png) [@Raymond\_Luxury\_Yacht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Raymond_Luxury_Yacht)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2004, 7:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-marketing-concepts/237198/78 "2004-04-06T07:36:26Z")
Hey, **Miller** , I just want to make sure we’re on the same page here. We’re talking about [The Homer](http://seeitornot.com/rpm/content/comedy/original_files/Homers-car.jpg), right? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2004, 9:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-marketing-concepts/237198/79 "2004-04-06T09:58:51Z")
I’ve mentioned this before, but the worst-concieved advert I’ve ever actually seen on air (as opposed to on a show that was about funny adverts)was one for ‘Lindor Balls’ - spherical, soft-centred chocolates from Lindt; it was just a series of melty chocolate images, quite enticing, except for the voiceover, which I presume had not been penned by a native speaker of English: “Switzerland has a chocolate heart called Lindt and Lindt has a melting chocolate heart called Lindor, when you taste Lindor’s melting chocolate heart, the chocolate goes straight to your heart” In the form of arterial plaque, presumably. ---
**Author:** ![tanstaafl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ba8739/32.png) [@tanstaafl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tanstaafl)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2004, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-marketing-concepts/237198/80 "2004-04-06T17:00:00Z")
> [@jehovah68](#): > > I am absolutely shocked that this thread has had over 70 posts and nobody has mentioned what is generally regarded as the greatest marketing fuck up of all time. Because no one wants to remember New Coke? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-marketing-concepts/237198.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-marketing-concepts/237198.md?page=5)